You may know me as the voice of Bender,

你可能知道我是班德的聲音。

you know the lovable scamp from "Futurama",

你知道 "未來世界 "裡那個可愛的小混混嗎？

the dog from "Adventuretime" Jake,

"Adventuretime "裡的狗Jake。

you know dude, come on man, you're totally math.

你知道，夥計，來吧男人， 你完全數學。

And what I'm gonna do today is improvise some characters

而我今天要做的是即興創作一些角色。

that I've never

我從來沒有

seen before [images whoosh]

見過

so, hmm, hope I get the gig.

所以，嗯，希望我得到的演出。

[air whooshes] All right,

[空氣嗖嗖] 好吧。

so looking at this mosquito and the first thing I'm thinking

所以看著這隻蚊子，我首先想到的是... ...

is the New Jersey state bird

是新澤西州鳥

because I'm from New Jersey, originally.

因為我來自新澤西州，最初。

So he's definitely, definitely, definitely up here.

所以他肯定，肯定，肯定在這裡。

You know he's got that high pitch sorta thing,

你知道他有那個高音調的東西。

maybe like a Pesci-esque sorta thing

也許就像Pesci式的東西

and yeah 'cause he's worried

是的，因為他的擔心

and he wants to do, suck your blood out and bleed.

他想做的是，把你的血吸出來，然後流血。

But maybe he don't but maybe he's got a problem

但也許他沒有，但也許他有問題。

with the hemoglobin, eek, then he doesn't really--

與血紅蛋白，哎呀，那麼他不真的 --

He has a problem consuming blood. [moans]

他有一個問題 消耗血液。[呻吟]

But then again, I mean going against the grain

但我的意思是，我是說要逆來順受的意思

is always funny so you can make him some sort of dumb

總是很有趣，所以你可以讓他某種愚蠢的。

kinda voice like this.

有點像這樣的聲音。

[moans] and when he gets up [moans],

[呻吟]，當他起身時[呻吟]。

you know he wants to suck somebody's blood. [moans]

你知道他想吸別人的血。[呻吟]

I mean, so you know but definitely, definitely up here

我的意思是，所以你知道，但絕對，絕對在這裡。

in the nose.

在鼻子裡。

That's what I would do for that.

這就是我想做的。

[air whooshes]

[空氣嗖嗖]

Okay, here you have a--

好吧，在這裡你有一個 -

Wow, I just noticed that he's got crossed eyes.

哇，我才注意到他的眼睛是交叉的。

You know what's funny, when you do a character

你知道什麼是有趣的，當你做一個字元，

with certain sort of things, you tend to do it

對於某些事情，你傾向於這樣做。

when you're doing it so I'm gonna try not to do that.

當你做的時候，所以我會盡量不這樣做。

But I would think that he is some sort of guy

但我認為他是某種類型的人。

who talks like this and you know.

誰說話像這樣，你知道，

Or maybe because he seems like a viking

或者也許是因為他看起來像個維京人

that he would have a sort of a Scandinavian accent,

他有一種斯堪的納維亞的口音。

you know.

你知道的

Arg, he likes the snow and he likes his mustache

阿格，他喜歡雪，也喜歡他的鬍子。

and he likes his ax and boy, this wooden table on my back

他喜歡他的斧頭和孩子，這木桌在我的背上。

sure makes a great shield, huh?

肯定是一個偉大的盾牌，是吧？

He could also have sort of a voice like this

他也可以有這樣的聲音。

but anyway I'm out here in the snow.

但無論如何，我在這裡的雪。

Like I tell you what, I love a smoked fish.

我告訴你吧，我喜歡吃薰魚。

Definitely not working with a full deck

絕對不能用全副牌子工作

'cause of those crossed eyes.

因為那些交叉的眼睛。

You can make him sound, you know he's trying to be smarter

你可以讓他聽起來，你知道他想變得更聰明。

than he actually is but he's not really that smart.

比他的實際情況，但他並不是真的那麼聰明。

So the faster you have him talk,

所以，你讓他說話越快。

the more you think he knows what he's talking about

你越覺得他知道自己在說什麼

but he doesn't know what he's talking about.

但他不知道自己在說什麼。

[air whooshes]

[空氣嗖嗖]

This guy looks like a devil that is middle management

這傢伙看起來像個魔鬼，是中層管理人員

and he's always just angry at everybody.

他總是對每個人都很生氣。

What is everybody doing?

大家都在做什麼？

'Cause he's got no nose so you can't really hear.

因為他沒有鼻子，所以你聽不到。

Ah, ah!

啊，啊！

I'll tell you what I need.

我會告訴你我需要什麼。

Somebody get me something to wipe my glasses with.

誰來給我找點東西擦擦眼鏡吧。

Ah!

啊！

You know what, I would get the direction on this,

你知道嗎，我會得到這個方向。

if I'd booked this gig, I would get the direction,

如果我訂了這個演出，我就會得到這個方向。

"John, start lower so you have somewhere to go."

"約翰，從低處開始，這樣你就有地方可去了。"

'Cause I would constantly just be screaming,

因為我會不斷地只是尖叫。

screaming, screaming.

尖叫，尖叫。

He'd start out like this and then he'd go like this

他一開始是這樣的，然後他就這樣了

and he'd get really angry and then ah!

他就會非常生氣，然後啊!

All right, you could try a nerdier version.

好吧，你可以嘗試一個更呆板的版本。

I want everybody at that meeting at 9:30. [growls]

我希望每個人都能在9: 30的會議上。[咆哮聲]

And you could totally add the adenoidal

而且你完全可以添加腺樣體的

and then like a total demon snarl.

然後像個十足的惡魔咆哮。

Yeah, so any time he complains you know,

是啊，所以任何時候他抱怨你都知道。

"Hooves, how made this coffee in here? [growls]"

"蹄子，這裡的咖啡怎麼做的？[咆哮]"

You know, I mean that could work.

你知道，我的意思是，這可以工作。

[air whooshes]

[空氣嗖嗖]

Oh, this guy is very cute.

哦，這傢伙很可愛。

He seems like a very timid guy.

他好像是個很膽小的人。

Now, this is interesting because the first place I went

現在，這很有趣，因為我去的第一個地方是...

with this voice, this tiger seems very timid.

有了這個聲音，這隻老虎就顯得很膽小了。

He almost is like, "I can't believe how large I am

他幾乎是這樣說的："我不能相信我有多大。

"and yet, I'm a vegetarian.

"然而，我是一個素食主義者，

"I really don't like killing other animals for food."

"我真的不喜歡為了食物而殺死其他動物"

He could even be sadder because I mean if you just tiny bit

他甚至可以更傷心，因為我的意思是，如果你只是微小的位

it could be just, it could almost be on the verge of tears

哭笑不得

the whole time that he talks.

他說話的時候

I just [mumbles].

我只是[喃喃自語]。

I had to eat this lone little pig.

我不得不吃了這隻孤零零的小豬。

It was the worst thing I've ever done in my life.

這是我一生中做過的最糟糕的事情。

I can't believe it.

我真不敢相信

I gotta go back to eating a plant-based diet. [laughs]

我得回去吃 植物性飲食。[笑]

[air whooshes]

[空氣嗖嗖]

Ooh gee, ooh.

哦，天哪，哦。

I mean just his face alone just makes him--

我是說光是他的臉就能讓他 --

He just seems like he's just scared of everything.

他只是看起來像他只是害怕一切。

I mean I would woo.

我的意思是我會求婚。

I mean I don't know what it is about birds,

我是說，我不知道鳥兒有什麼特點。

they just seem very New Yorkish, woot.

他們只是看起來很紐約的，嗚嗚。

Look out.

小心點

I know I'm not friendly here [moans].

我知道我在這裡不友好[呻吟]。

Ah, don't throw that there.

啊，不要把這個扔在那裡。

I know, I know.

我知道，我知道。

No, I know, I know it's birdseed [chuckles].

不，我知道，我知道這是鳥籽[笑]。

I know it's birdseed.

我知道這是鳥籽。

I don't need any birdseed right now.

我現在不需要任何鳥食。

I'm birdseed intolerant.

我不耐受鳥類種子。

Birds, for me, are always just so much higher

鳥類，對我來說，永遠都是那麼的高大上。

unless they're birds of prey.

除非他們是鳥類的獵物。

This is not a bird of prey.

這不是一隻鳥類。

A bird of prey can--

獵鳥可以...

You get an owl, like a night owl.

你會得到一隻貓頭鷹，就像一隻夜貓子。

This is not an owl.

這不是一隻貓頭鷹。

This guy's just scared of everything.

這傢伙只是害怕一切。

Ooh, ah!

哦，啊！

Oh boy.

哦，天啊

Hi, ah.

嗨，啊。

[air whooshes] So this,

[空氣嗖嗖] 所以這個。

this is some old timey character design.

這是一些老式的人物設計。

Just the face alone.

僅僅是臉。

Ha, it's hi.

哈，我是嗨。

Oh boy, I kinda--

哦，孩子，我有點...

I mean I would literally go somewhere in between

我的意思是，我會從字面上去之間的某處

like a Mickey Mouse and a Goofy.

像一個米老鼠和一個高飛。

You know because Mickey's got that high voice

你知道，因為米奇的聲音很高亢

and [chuckles] good ole Goofy's got that sort of thing

高飛也有這樣的能力。

but I would make him a lot more sophisticated.

但我會讓他變得更復雜。

Every time I get excited I sweat profusely,

每次我一激動就會大汗淋漓。

as you can see coming off my head.

你可以看到從我頭上下來。

Wow!

哇！

Dogs, they just always have that look on their face.

狗狗，它們只是臉上總是掛著那種表情。

What do you want me to do?

你想讓我做什麼？

I don't know what to do.

我不知道該怎麼辦。

You want me to sit?

你要我坐嗎？

Okay, I'll sit.

好吧，我坐。

Ah, hi, how are you?

啊，嗨，你好嗎？

But you could make him a little more masculine than that.

但你可以讓他變得更陽剛一些。

So he got it, too.

所以他也得到了它。

Hi everybody.

大家好

Almost sounds like my old manager.

幾乎聽起來像我的老經理。

See, and this is the thing, I could do an impression

你看，這就是問題所在，我可以做一個印象。

of my old manager right.

我的老經理的權利。

His name is Barry Katz, man, he's unbelievable.

他的名字叫巴里-卡茨，夥計，他是令人難以置信的。

He's managed so many comedians.

他管理過那麼多喜劇演員。

John DiMaggio, you're on fire.

約翰-迪馬喬，你火了。

I could make him sound like Barry Katz if I wanted to.

如果我想的話，我可以讓他聽起來像巴里-卡茨。

And that's the thing.

這就是問題所在。

You can do an impression of someone,

你可以做一個人的印象。

change it just a little bit.

改變它只是一點點。

And a bad impression is a good voice, actually.

而印象不好，其實就是好聲音。

[air whooshes]

[空氣嗖嗖]

This guy does not give a [pop].

這傢伙不給[啪]。

He doesn't care.

他不關心。

Look at that.

你看那個。

Oh, I love his mole.

哦，我喜歡他的痣。

Look at that thing on his forehead.

看他額頭上的那個東西。

That is growth city.

這就是成長型城市。

Well, you know, the first thing you gotta age him up,

嗯，你知道，第一件事 你得讓他老起來。

so you put him up there.

所以你把他放在那裡。

He's got a cane so he's gonna have a little trouble

他有一根手杖，所以他會有一點小麻煩的

walking around but he's got a heavy as hell disposition.

走來走去，但他有一個沉重的地獄性格。

Boy, he's happy to be here.

孩子，他很高興來到這裡。

I'm happy to be alive all this time, for crying out loud.

我很高興能一直活著，大哭一場。

I went to the barber's today and they cut out my nose hairs.

我今天去理髮店，他們剪掉了我的鼻毛。

It was a good time.

那是一段美好的時光。

Oh boy, I like my guy Mario.

哦，孩子，我喜歡我的傢伙馬里奧。

Hey, I been with him for 62 years.

嘿，我和他在一起62年了。

He's as old as I am.

他和我一樣老。

Sometimes I trim out his nose hairs. [laughs]

有時，我修剪了他的鼻毛。[笑]

Ha ha, purple kitty cat.

哈哈，紫色的小貓咪。

I mean, wow.

我的意思是，哇。

I would just put him somewhere in here.

我只是把他放在這裡的某個地方。

Hi everybody, I love being a cat.

大家好，我喜歡做一隻貓。

Oh boy, does anybody have any [pants] treats for me?

哦，孩子，誰有什麼[褲子]犒勞我的？

Yeah, I'd put him up there.

是的，我會把他放在那裡。

It's totally not in my wheelhouse, admittedly,

我承認，這完全不是我的專長。

and I don't get called in for characters like this.

我不會因為這樣的角色而被叫去。

Here's an idea.

我有個主意

This cat is around kids all the time

這隻貓總是在孩子們的身邊

and is a real fun cat.

並且是一隻真正有趣的貓。

Hi, I'm Purple Puss.

嗨，我是紫貓。

That's me, I'm Purple Puss.

是我，我是紫貓。

Hey, everybody.

嘿，大家好。

Well, that's the end of the show for you guys.

好了，你們的節目到此結束了。

I'll see you later.

回頭見

And then like goes behind the curtain and it's just like,

然後像去幕後，它只是喜歡，

Ah man, I tell ya, these kids.

啊，夥計，我告訴你，這些孩子。

I can't take it anymore.

我受不了了

I can't do it, I just can't do it.

我做不到，我就是做不到。

I can't do it.

我做不到

The one of 'em wiped a booger on me.

他們中的一個人在我身上擦了個鼻屎。

I sit there and I do the thing and it's no.

我坐在那裡，我做的事情，它是沒有。

There's too many boogers.

有太多的鼻屎。

Too many boogers and I'm not getting paid enough.

太多鼻屎了，我的工資也不夠。

[air whooshes]

[空氣嗖嗖]

Okay, now this thing I'd have no idea

好吧，現在這件事我不知道。

what this guy sounds like but I tell you what,

這傢伙聽起來像什麼，但我告訴你：

let me give it a shot.

讓我試一試

He's got some sort of thing.

他有某種東西。

You can see that his mouth is quite wide.

你可以看到他的嘴很寬。

So maybe he's got some sort of a voice

所以，也許他有某種聲音。

that comes across as ethereal

飄渺

and is grand.

並且是盛大的。

I would like to take you on my ship

我想帶你上我的船

where I will probe you. [laughs]

在那裡我將探究你。[笑]

The probing will continue on the ship.

探測工作將在船上繼續進行。

Don't worry, I have snacks.

別擔心，我有零食。

Weird.

很奇怪

[air whooshes] Yeah.

[空氣嗖嗖] 是啊。

He looks like some kind of a big ole crazy biker,

他看起來就像一個瘋狂的摩托車手。

ha yeah, come on.

哈，是的，來吧。

I wanna give it to you like that. [laughs]

我想把它給你這樣的。[笑]

Yeah.

是啊。

He's gotta have a voice that kinda carries

他必須有一個聲音，有點帶著

over the sound of the bike, you know.

在自行車的聲音，你知道。

Yeah, I'm one of those guys and he just [yells].

是啊，我是那些傢伙之一，他只是[大叫]。

And he, wow.

而他，哇。

Look at him, I'm quite huge suit. [laughs]

你看他，我的西裝挺大的。[笑]

Look at me.

看著我

I need a razor. [laughs]

我需要一把刮鬚刀。[笑]

I can't get a date 'cause my shoulders are hairy. [laughs]

我不能得到一個日期，因為我的肩膀是毛茸茸的。[笑]

Yeah, that's true.

是的，這是真的。

Women don't like that.

女人不喜歡這樣。

Definitely go with something really loud

一定要用很大聲的東西

and yeah, come on, yeah!

是啊，來吧，是啊！

I mean and if you wanted to you get a little--

我的意思是，如果你想... ...你會得到一點 --

I mean this is him quiet, you know. [laughs]

我的意思是，這是他安靜，你知道的。[笑]

Maybe my bike is idling right now, [laughs]

也許我的自行車現在正在怠速運轉，[笑]。

but when I'm riding, boy, oh yeah!

但當我騎車時，男孩，哦，耶！

I can feel the wind blowing through my shoulder hair.

我可以感覺到風吹過我的肩發。

Gross.

毛。

[air whooshes]

[空氣嗖嗖]

[John yells]

[約翰大叫]

Hey everybody.

嘿，大家好。

This is like a kind of guy that's got a loose mouth

這就像一種人，有一個鬆散的嘴。

and he's got his tongue hanging out, and wee!

他把舌頭伸出來了，還有小便！

He's just really excited. [yells]

他只是真的很興奮。[大叫]

And then, again, the cross eyes kinda seem

然後，再次，交叉的眼睛有點似乎

like he's a little dopier than most

好像他比大多數人都要笨一些

but the tongue hanging out especially

但舌頭伸得特別長

and the mouth being that wide.

和嘴巴那麼寬。

[yells] Lotta cheeks, put a lotta cheeks in it, you know.

[大喊]Lotta cheeks, put a lotta cheeks in it, you know. 臉頰，把臉頰放進去。

Bleh.

Bleh.

There's sort of everything [yells].

有種什麼都有[大呼小叫]。

Try to put your tongue out every time you say something.

每次說話的時候，儘量把舌頭伸出來。

You could vary the pitch of it.

你可以改變它的音調。

You could not make him as dopey and you could

你不能讓他變得像個傻子一樣，你可以

give him sort of an impediment.

給他一種阻礙。

Sort of like a lisp.

有點像口齒不清。

Sort of this sort of thing,

算是這種事情。

like kind of a Wallace Shawn sort of thing

就像華萊士-肖恩的那種東西