What in the world is happening that I am on the Conan O Brien show?

我上了柯南-奧布萊恩的節目，這到底是怎麼回事？

It's a crack in the comedy space time continuum.

這是喜劇時空連續體的一個裂縫。

I used to own this network.

我曾經擁有這個網絡。

Uh, what's happening?

呃，發生了什麼？

Everything is back.

一切都回來了。

Everything is backwards.

一切都是倒退的。

Yes, I dismiss you.

是的，我解僱你。

Now I'm here hoping that you like may desperately wanting to be like, Well, it's working.

現在，我在這裡希望，你喜歡可能拼命想要像，嗯，它的工作。

It's working very well.

它的工作非常好。

It is great to be here, really is.

能來這裡真是太好了，真的是。

It's been a long time.

好久不見了

I'm very happy that we were able to do this.

我很高興我們能夠做到這一點。

You know what's funny is a couple of weeks ago I'm walking down the street.

你知道什麼是有趣的是幾個星期前我走在街上。

Now here's someone call my name.

現在有人叫我的名字了。

Usually that's not a good sign.

通常這不是一個好兆頭。

I turn around.

我轉身。

It's You were very nice conversation and it got me thinking You're just walking down the street backpack and I thought, What is it like for you to walk through Manhattan?

你的對話很好，讓我覺得你只是走在街上的揹包，我想，你走過曼哈頓是什麼感覺？

It seemed to me like you're that kind of guy that just walks around.

在我看來，你是那種到處亂走的人。

Well, you're kind of that guy to you walk around, Yes, but it was a very interesting moments.

你是那種走來走去的人，是的，但這是一個非常有趣的時刻。

They know.

他們知道。

I know.

我知道，我知道

I do walk.

而且要打。

I was being carried at the time, right by to Chippendales dancers.

當時我被人抬著，就在齊本德爾舞者身邊。

Lovely guys bythe a favorite Suri.

可愛的傢伙由最喜歡的蘇里。

What's up?

怎麼了？

How's it going?

進展如何？

This is larger.

這個比較大。

This is, um, gay.

這是，嗯，同志。

Yeah.

是啊。

I love when you see, Like for May.

我喜歡當你看到，喜歡五月。

It's like I know he thinks I'm some psycho on the street.

就像我知道他把我當成街上的神經病一樣。

E go ahead, Konen.

去吧，柯南

But as soon as he knows, it's me, he's gonna change from Oh, no psycho to guy.

但只要他知道是我，他就會從 "哦，不是神經病 "變成 "男人"。

I know.

我知道，我知道

And it was very funny to watch you go.

而且看著你走的時候，很是好笑。

Oh, you know, you see that?

哦，你知道，你看到了嗎？

That's how I am with my wife everyday.

我每天都是這樣和老婆相處的。

Oh, yeah.

哦，是的。

It's like when you don't answer the phone and you don't know who is there, who is it, Right?

就像你不接電話，也不知道是誰在那裡，是誰吧？

Oh, but people are there.

哦，但人在那裡。

Be when people see you come out of the television.

當人們看到你從電視裡走出來時，要。

You're the, you know, the so famous for being a New Yorker.

你是，你知道，所以著名的是一個紐約人。

Yeah, and you are the same.

是啊，你也一樣。

I don't know.

我不知道。

People think I come from some other dimension.

人們認為我來自其他的空間。

You know, I'm not the parade float going down the street.

你知道，我不是遊行花車走在街上。

I don't think it's the same.

我想這是不一樣的。

People don't connect me on a human level.

人們沒有把我和人聯繫在一起。

It's like being in a focus group all the time.

就像一直在焦點小組中一樣。

People are always telling you I didn't like the Zantac joke last night.

人們總是告訴你我不喜歡昨晚的Zantac笑話。

You know, you're always getting ratings on everything you dio doorman or just yelling at me or cabbies.

你知道嗎，你總是得到評級的一切 你迪奧門衛或只是大喊我或計程車司機。

They yelling me and you know how you're doing.

他們對我大喊大叫，你知道你在做什麼。

They go.

他們走了。

I like this.

我喜歡這個。

I don't like that, right?

我不喜歡這樣，對嗎？

You know what I get?

你知道我得到了什麼？

I get people telling me I saw that thing you did on the show last night.

有人告訴我，我看到了你昨晚在節目中做的那件事。

Let me explain to me why they were up a 12 30 e.

讓我來解釋一下，為什麼他們會漲到1230e。

I love that thing in the show last night.

我喜歡昨晚節目中的那個東西。

You see, I take a medication for a rash at 12 30.

你看，我在12點半的時候吃藥治療皮疹。

All right now, do you have said famously, It's been quoted a lot that you think New York City, Manhattan is good for comedians.

現在，你有沒有說過一句名言，它被引用了很多，你認為紐約市，曼哈頓是好喜劇演員。

It's good for comedy.

這是很好的喜劇。

What's the theory behind?

背後的理論是什麼？

Irritation is good for comedy Bond.

刺激是好的喜劇邦德。

Everything in New York is irritating.

紐約的一切都很煩人。

I have always right thing about how I used to love the thing about when you're in New York and in the back of the cab and you look through the glass.

我總是正確的事情，我曾經多麼喜歡的事情，當你在紐約，在計程車的後面，你通過玻璃看。

It seems like it's happening on TV and whatever the guy does, you think, Oh, well, he's a cab driver.

好像在電視上發生的事，不管這傢伙做什麼，你都會想，哦，好吧，他是個計程車司機。

I'm sure he knows what he's doing.

我相信他知道自己在做什麼。

You don't think for yourself.

你不為自己考慮。

He's going to kill May.

他要殺了梅。

It doesn't seem really trust.

看來並不是真的信任。

You see the license and you trusted, even though a lot of the letters air like elements from another planet or something.

你看到許可證，你就信任了，儘管很多字母的空氣就像來自另一個星球的元素或什麼。

But you just trust in New York that cab drivers know what they're doing.

但在紐約，你只要相信計程車司機知道他們在做什麼。

But it is very annoying that you put your life in this person's hands that you don't know.

但是，你把自己的生命交到這個你不認識的人手裡，是非常討厭的。

You've never met them, don't know them.

你沒見過他們，不認識他們。

They've never been here before And I'm sure he knows what he's doing right.

他們從來沒有來過這裡，我相信他知道自己在做什麼。

Right now you are.

現在你是。

You also said you think it's good to be a cranky guy, that comedians are all cranky, a little bit irritable.

你還說你覺得做一個暴躁的人很好，喜劇演員都是暴躁的，有點暴躁。

Do you think that's really Yes?

你覺得真的是嗎？

Yes, you name it.

是的，你的名字。

I can't stand it right.

我不能忍受它的權利。

That's where it all comes from.

這就是一切的由來。

I don't like things.

我不喜歡的東西。

Everything s things irritate you.

所有的事情都會刺激你。

Everything irritates me.

所有的事情都讓我惱火。

Humans all inanimate matter.

人類都是無生命的物質。

Oxygen it all your total irritates me.

氧氣它所有你的總刺激我。

Yeah.

是啊。

Yeah, Well, what a wonderful life.

是啊，多美好的生活啊。

Well, you know, you try and make a joke about I want to mention something else.

好吧，你知道，你試著開個玩笑，我想提點別的事情。

You're also here to mention and it deserves mentioning Seinfeld, the complete Siri's That's box set which nine years of my life in that box right here and, uh, in phenomenally successful show, and I wanted to point out quickly a show.

你也在這裡提到，它值得一提的Seinfeld， 完整的Siri的這是盒裝 我九年的生活在這個盒子就在這裡和，呃，在現象級的成功的節目， 我想指出快速的一個節目。

I think a lot of people don't know this.

我想很多人都不知道這一點。

It's surprising people just accept when something's a success, and I think it was always a success.

當一件事情成功的時候，人們竟然就這樣接受了，我想它總是成功的。

Seinfeld struggled, actually remembered in the early years.

Seinfeld很努力，其實早年的記憶。

It struggled.

它掙扎著。

3.5 years were very borderline.

3.5年很邊緣化。

People didn't at NBC.

NBC的人沒有。

We're not excited about this show.

我們對這個節目不感興趣。

When we did the pilot, there was only one guy at NBC who really did like the idea of his name was Rick Blood when he was from the late night and specials department.

我們做試播的時候，NBC只有一個人真的很喜歡他的名字叫瑞克-布萊德，當時他是深夜和特別節目部的。

And he's still with NBC.

而且他還在NBC工作

In fact, he's here tonight, and I would like to introduce seven right there.

事實上，他今晚就在這裡，我想在這裡介紹七個。

That's E.

那是E.

That's what he does now.

這就是他現在的工作。

Yeah, his reward.

是啊，他的獎勵。

His reward for saving Seinfeld and making it all happen is to stand and monitor each one of our shows.

他拯救了Seinfeld並使之成為現實的獎勵就是站在這裡監視我們的每一個節目。

If it wasn't for him, that would be an empty box right now, and I deserve mentioning.

如果不是他，現在就是一個空盒子，我值得一提。

We struggled to in the first a little longer than you, probably, and Rick Ludwin was one of the people who stepped in and said I think this show has potential and he was eventually proven wrong.

我們在第一部中掙扎的時間比你長一點，可能，裡克-魯德溫是其中一個介入的人，他說我認為這個節目有潛力，他最終被證明是錯誤的。

So thank u E.

所以，謝謝你E。

You're batting 500.

你的打擊率是500。

Good for you.

對你有好處

B movie is in theaters now.

B片已經上映了。

Seinfeld.

Seinfeld。

The complete Siri's will be in stores on Tuesday.

完整的Siri的將於週二在商店。

I think anyone's gonna wanna have that big throw for us.

我想任何人都會想為我們投出那一球的

Thank you so much.

非常感謝你。

Seriously, big.

說真的，大。