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  • ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.

    嘿,大家好。

  • WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."

    歡迎回到 "深夜秀"。

  • LET'S SAY HELLO TO JON BATISTE.

    讓我們向JON BATISTE問好。

  • JON, HELLO.

    喬恩,你好。

  • ( WHISTLING ) I LOVE YOUR-- YOUR MUSICAL

    我愛你的... 你的音樂。

  • BIRD-LIKE LANGUAGE.

    鳥類語言。

  • JON, I GOTTA GIVE YOU A WARNING HERE.

    喬恩,我得給你一個警告。

  • WHAT WE'RE ABOUT TO TALK ABOUT IN THIS ACT OF THE SHOW IS FOR

    我們在這一幕中要談的是為了

  • MATURE AUDIENCES.

    成熟的觀眾。

  • NOT THAT YOU'RE NOT A MATURE PERSON, BUT I KNOW YOU'RE PURE

    不是說你不是一個成熟的人,但我知道你是純粹的。

  • AS THE DRIVEN SNOW.

    如雨後的雪。

  • I WOULDN'T WANT TO SCANDALIZE YOU, OKAY.

    我不想讓你出醜,好嗎?

  • BETTER A MILL STONE SHOULD BE TIED AROUND MY NECK AND CAST

    更好的磨石應該被綁在我的脖子上,並拋出。

  • INTO THE DEEPEST PART OF THE RIVER THAN ONE SHOULD SCANDALIZE

    進入河的最深處,比一個人應該醜化

  • HIS BAND LEADER.

    他的樂隊領隊。

  • >> Jon: OH!

    >> 喬恩。哦!

  • I LIKE THE TWIST ON THAT.

    我喜歡這個曲折。

  • I LIKE THAT!

    我喜歡這樣!

  • COME ON, MAN!

    來吧,夥計!

  • >> Stephen: JUST KEEP IT IN MIND.

    >> Stephen:只要記住它。

  • HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

    你感覺如何?

  • >> Jon: I'M-- I'M FEELING LIKE I HAVE WHIPLASH.

    >> 我... 我覺得自己好像有白粉病。

  • THIS WHOLE YEAR HAS FELT-- IT'S JUST SO MUCH TO PROCESS.

    這整個一年的感覺 - 它只是這麼多的處理。

  • IT'S FELT LIKE A QUICK SPIN, AND NOW THE INERTIA IS JUST-- MY

    感覺就像一個快速的旋轉,而現在ERTIA只是... ... 我的

  • BODY HAS LANDED RIGHT HERE.

    屍體已經降落在這裡。

  • >> Stephen: I HAVE DONE SOME SAILING WHERE YOU GO TO SEA FOR

    >> Stephen:我做過一些航行,你去哪裡出海?

  • A WEEK AND YOU COME BACK AND YOU'RE STILL BUT THE WHOLE WORLD

    一個星期後,你回來了,你還是整個世界的人

  • IS MOVING.

    是移動的。

  • THAT'S WHAT IT FEELS LIKE RIGHT NOW.

    這就是現在的感覺。

  • HE COULD BE LEAVING, AND THE VACCINE IS COMING.

    他可能會離開,和 疫苗來了。

  • I'M SWIMMING WITH THE POSSIBILITIES.

    我在與可能的情況下游泳。

  • >> Jon: I'M REALLY HOPING IT IS OVER, WHATEVER THAT MEANS,

    >> 喬恩我真希望一切都結束了,不管是什麼意思。

  • AND THAT THIS IS A NEW BEGINNING.

    而這是一個新的開始。

  • BUT, YOU KNOW, WE JUST GOT TO JUST TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME.

    但是,你知道,我們只是必須只是採取一天的時間。

  • >> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING-- DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING

    >> Stephen:你有什麼東西嗎? 你有什麼東西嗎?

  • CALM THAT COULD-- THAT COULD TURN MY SOUL INTO A STILL SHIP

    平靜,可以... 可以把我的靈魂變成一艘靜止的船。

  • ON A SILENT SEA.

    在一片寂靜的海面上。

  • >> Jon: I LIKE WHAT YOU WERE DEALING WITH WHEN YOU HIT ME UP.

    >> 喬恩,我喜歡你跟我打交道的樣子。我喜歡你跟我打交道時的樣子。

  • YOU SAID...

    你說...

  • ♪ ♪ ♪ 250 YEARS.

    "250年。

  • >> Stephen: WOW.

    >> Stephen:WOW。

  • ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: I DIDN'T KNOW

    我不知道。

  • BEETHOVEN COULD SWING.

    BEETHOVEN可以擺動。

  • >> Jon: OH, YEAH.

    >> 喬恩。哦,是的。

  • IT'S BEEN 250 YEARS.

    已經250年了

  • HE LEARNED A THING OR TWO, YOU KNOW.

    他學到了一兩樣東西,你知道的。

  • >> Stephen: JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.

    >> Stephen:JON BATISTE,每個人。

  • THANK YOU, JON.

    謝謝你,喬恩。

  • >> Jon: OF COURSE.

    >> 喬恩。當然。

  • >> Stephen: OF COURSE, THE PANDEMIC CONTINUES TO RAGE, BUT

    >> 斯蒂芬:當然,PANDEMIC繼續肆虐,但是。

  • THERE'S HOPE ON THE HORIZON.

    有希望的視野。

  • I'LL CATCH YOU UP ON TRYING NOT TO CATCH IT IN TONIGHT'S

    我會在今晚的節目中告訴你如何不被發現。

  • INSTALLMENT OF THIRD...

    安裝第三...

  • >> THIS WILL BE A DECEMBER TO FUHGEDDABOUTIT!

    >> 這將是一個12月FUHGEDDABOUTIT!

  • HEY I'M -- >> Stephen: GOOD ENOUGH.

    嘿,我是 -- >> 斯蒂芬。足夠好。

  • TWO COMPANIES, MODERNA AND PFIZER, HAVE VACCINES THAT ARE

    兩家公司,MODERNA和PFIZER,擁有的疫苗是

  • TANTALIZINGLY CLOSE TO MARKET, JUST IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS.

    誘人的接近市場,正好趕上假期。

  • SO THIS YEAR'S FAVORITE STOCKING STUFFER IS GOING TO BE

    所以,今年最受歡迎的襪子將是。

  • HYPODERMIC NEEDLES.

    腎上腺素針。

  • IN PREPARATION, YESTERDAY, THE C.D.C. CAME OUT WITH GUIDELINES

    在準備過程中,明天,C.D.C.C.提出了指導意見。

  • THAT SAY ONCE THEY'RE AVAILABLE, THE FIRST PEOPLE TO GET THE

    意思是說,一旦他們可用,第一個得到的人。

  • VACCINE WILL BE HEALTHCARE WORKERS AND PEOPLE IN NURSING

    疫苗將是衛生保健工作者和護理人員的。

  • HOMES.

    家。

  • THAT'S GREAT NEWS, BECAUSE THESE DAYS, EVERYBODY'S SITTING ON THE

    這是個好消息,因為這些天,每個人都坐在

  • COUCH IN THEIR SOFT CLOTHES WATCHING "WHEEL OF FORTUNE," SO,

    穿著柔軟衣服的教練在看《財富輪》,所以。

  • TECHNICALLY, WE'RE ALL IN NURSING HOMES.

    從技術上講,我們都在療養院。

  • THEN, IN FEBRUARY OR MARCH, THE NEXT PRIORITY GROUPS ARE LIKELY

    然後,在2月或3月,下一個優先群體很可能是...。

  • TO BE PEOPLE OVER 65.

    將是65歲以上的人。

  • FINALLY, BY APRIL, OR JUNE, HEALTHY, NONESSENTIAL WORKERS

    最終,在4月或6月之前,健康的、無負擔的勞動者。

  • YOUNGER THAN 65 WILL BEGIN RECEIVING THE VACCINE.

    超過65歲的人將開始接受疫苗。

  • YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

    你知道這意味著什麼。

  • ACCORDING TO THE C.D.C., I'M YOUNG!

    按照中紀委的說法,我還年輕!

  • WOO!

    嗚!

  • TIME TO FORTNITE AN ELECTRIC SCOOTER WHILE VAPING A DAB!

    是時候在吸食DAB的同時,給電動滑板車打火了!

  • WHO'S WAP, NOW?

    誰是WAP,現在?

  • ME?

    我?

  • BECAUSE I SERIOUSLY DO NOT KNOW.

    因為我真的不知道。

  • WHAT A WAP IS.

    WAP是什麼?

  • NOW, WE'VE ALL HEARD THE STORIES OF PEOPLE FLOUTING C.D.C.

    現在,我們都聽到了人們在C. D. C. 的故事。

  • GUIDELINES TO COME TOGETHER EN MASSE FOR TRADITIONAL

    傳統的馬塞河畔聚會指南

  • LATE-NOVEMBER GET-TOGETHERS.

    深夜聚餐。

  • I DON'T MEAN THANKSGIVING.

    我不是指感恩節。

  • I'M TALKING ABOUT ORGIES-- WHAT IS THAT IMAGE?

    我說的是組織... ... 那是什麼影像?

  • WHAT-- OH!

    什麼 -- 哦!

  • OH, MY.

    哦,我的。

  • BOTH ENVELOPE STUFFING.

    都是信封裡的東西。

  • ( LAUGHTER ) BECAUSE APPARENTLY, A

    (笑)因為很明顯,一個人,一個人。

  • "NEW ORLEANS SWINGERS EVENT BECAME A 'SUPERSPREADER' AFTER

    "新奧爾良搖擺人 "活動成為 "超級傳播者 "之後

  • 41 ATTENDEES TESTED POSITIVE FOR CORONAVIRUS."

    41名與會者的冠狀病毒檢測呈陽性。"

  • TECHNICALLY, EVERY ORGY INVOLVES "SUPER SPREADING."

    從技術上講,每個組織都涉及 "超級傳播"。

  • ALSO, LET'S LOOK AT THAT NUMBER AGAIN.

    另外,讓我們再看看那個數字。

  • "41?" THAT'S INTERESTING, AN ODD

    "41?"這很有趣,一個奇怪的。

  • NUMBER.

    編號:

  • THAT MEANS 20 COUPLES AND KARL.

    這意味著20對夫婦和卡爾。

  • ( LAUGHTER ) THE EVENT IN QUESTION WAS

    問題中的事件是...

  • THE ANNUAL "NAUGHTY IN N'AWLINS" SWINGERS GATHERING.

    一年一度的 "NAUGHTY IN N'AWLINS"搖擺人聚集。

  • OH, NO!

    哦,不!

  • BUT IF THIS CAN HAPPEN AT NAUGHTY IN N'AWLINS, IT CAN

    但如果這可以發生在N'AWLINS的NAUGHTY,它可以。

  • HAPPEN ANYWHERE!

    發生在任何地方!

  • I'M LOOKING AT YOU, DIRTY IN DETROIT,

    我在看你,底特律的髒東西。

  • DOMINATION IN DES MOINES, FLESH FEST IN FLAGSTAFF,

    統治在DES MOINES,FLESH FEST在FLAGSTAFF。

  • BONE JAM IN BIRMINGHAM, AND BUTTE STUFF.

    在BIRMINGHAM的骨醬,和BUTTE STUFF。

  • WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING?

    誰能預見到這一切呢?

  • EVERYONE, EXCEPT THE ORGANIZERS OF NAUGHTY IN N'AWLINS, WHO

    每個人,除了N'AWLINS的NAUGHTY的組織者,衛生組織

  • THOUGHT THEY COULD CREATE GUIDELINES TO MAKE THE SAFE SEX

    認為他們可以制定指導方針,使安全的性行為成為可能。

  • EVENT SAFE FOR SEX.

    活動安全的性。

  • FOR EXAMPLE, THERE WAS NO DANCE FLOOR, SO ATTENDEES INSTEAD

    比如說,那裡沒有舞池,所以與會者也沒有舞池。

  • SWAYED IN PLACE AT THEIR TABLES.

    在他們的桌子上搖擺不定。

  • ELIMINATING DANCING TO KEEP YOUR SWINGERS' CONVENTION SAFE IS

    消除舞蹈,以保持你的舞者的聚會的安全是

  • LIKE LEAVING THE SPRINKLES OFF YOUR ICE CREAM CONE BEFORE YOU

    就像在你吃冰淇淋之前,把冰淇淋筒上的糖霜擦掉一樣。

  • RUB IT ON YOUR JUNK.

    擦在你的屁股上。

  • ( LAUGHTER ) PARTICIPANTS WERE ALSO ASKED TO

    與會者還被要求......。

  • KEEP DETAILED DIARIES OF EVERYONE THEY HAD CONTACT WITH

    保存與他們接觸過的任何人的詳細日記。

  • FOR MORE THAN 10 MINUTES AT THE CONVENTION, REGARDLESS OF

    超過10分鐘的,不論其是否有資格參加會議。

  • WHETHER THAT CONTACT INVOLVED SEX, BECAUSE NOTHING SETS THE

    無論該接觸涉及性,因為沒有設置的。

  • MOOD AT AN ANONYMOUS FLESH PIT LIKE DETAILED WRITTEN RECORDS.

    情緒在不知名的肉坑,像詳細的文字記錄。

  • PLUS, IT WOULD BE FUN FOR YOUR GRANDKIDS TO FIND.

    此外,這將是有趣的為您的孫子找到。

  • SURPRISINGLY, THE CITY WAS ON BOARD WITH THE EVENT.

    出乎意料的是,市府竟然同意了這次活動。

  • ONE NEW ORLEANS SPOKESMAN SAID THEY EXPECTED "FULL COMPLIANCE"

    一位新奧爾良發言人說,他們期望 "完全遵守"。

  • WITH SAFETY GUIDELINES.

    帶安全指南。

  • THERE'S YOUR MISTAKE: NOT EVERYONE'S INTO FULL COMPLIANCE.

    這就是你的錯誤:不是每個人都能完全遵守規定。

  • SOME PEOPLE ARE ONLY COMPLIANCE CURIOUS.

    有些人只對合規性感到好奇。

  • AND SOME JUST LIKE TO STAND IN THE CORNER AND WATCH OTHER

    而有些人只是喜歡站在角落裡看其他的

  • PEOPLE COMPLY.

    人們遵從。

  • LIKE KARL.

    像卡爾。

  • UNFORTUNATELY, ATTENDEES GOT A LITTLE TIRED OF COMPLYING.

    不幸的是,與會者有點厭倦了遵守。

  • ACCORDING TO THE EVENT'S ORGANIZER, "THEY WERE SUPER

    據活動組織者說:"他們是超級的。

  • DILIGENT ON THE FIRST TWO DAYS, AND THEN THEY SAID,

    在前兩天的勤奮,然後他們說,

  • "(BLEEP) IT.

    "(BLEEP)它。

  • IT'S OUR LAST DAY."

    這是我們的最後一天。"

  • REALLY, ON THE LAST DAY OF AN ORGY CONVENTION IS WHEN PEOPLE

    真的,在ORGY大會的最後一天,當人們... ...

  • SAID " (BLEEP) IT"?

    說"(BLEEP)它"?

  • I ASSUME THAT'S WHEN THEY SAY WHEN THEY FIRE THE STARTER

    我想這就是他們說的,當他們發射起動器的時候

  • PISTOL.

    PISTOL:

  • TURNS OUT, IT'S NOT SO EASY TO MAINTAIN PROPER SOCIAL

    事實證明,保持良好的社會關係並不那麼容易。

  • DISTANCING IN THE RUB ROOM, BECAUSE JUST ONE DAY AFTER THE

    在RUB ROOM中的距離,因為就在一天後的RUB ROOM中的距離。

  • EVENT ENDED, THEY HAD THEIR FIRST REPORTED COVID CASE.

    活動結束後,他們有了第一次報告的COVID案件。

  • THE EVENT ORGANIZER SAID, "IT WAS A WIFE WHO TESTED POSITIVE,

    活動組織者說:"這是一個妻子誰測試陽性。

  • BUT HER HUSBAND TESTED NEGATIVE."

    但她的丈夫測試呈陰性。"

  • OUCH.

    疼。

  • I THINK I KNOW WHO GOT NAUGHTIER IN N'AWLINS.

    我想我知道誰在N'AWLINS得到了NAUGHTIER。

  • ( FAKING COUGHS ) "OOH, YEAH, HONEY.

    (假笑)"哦,是的,蜂蜜。

  • I THINK I HAVE IT, TOO.

    我想我也有了。

  • MUST BE THE EQUAL AMOUNTS OF CRAZY COOL SEX WE BOTH HAD AT

    必須是等量的瘋狂酷性,我們都有在

  • THE ORGY."

    THE ORGY。"

  • ( COUGHING ) GIVEN THE OUTCOME, THE NAUGHTY

    (咳嗽) 給出的結果,不雅觀的

  • IN N'AWLINS ORGANIZERS ADMIT THEY DO HAVE REGRETS,

    在N'AWLINS,組織者承認他們確實有遺憾。

  • WITH ONE SAYING, "IF I COULD GO BACK IN TIME, I WOULD NOT

    有一個人說:"如果我能回到過去,我不會......"。

  • PRODUCE THIS EVENT AGAIN."

    生產這個事件再次。"

  • ( LAUGHTER ) "ONE, BECAUSE OF THE VIRUS.

    (笑)"一,因為病毒。

  • TWO, BECAUSE I'D USE MY TIME MACHINE TO PRODUCE

    二,因為我會用我的時光機來生產。

  • "GETTING FREAKY WITH THE GREEKY: FULL RELEASE IN

    "GETTING FREAKY WITH THE GREEKY: FULL RELEASE IN"(《與希臘人一起狂歡:完全釋放》)。

  • GREECE!" TAP THAT, ATHENS!

    希臘!"啪,雅典!

  • WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH KATE WINSLET.

    我們馬上回來與凱特-溫斯萊特。

  • ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

    ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.

嘿,大家好。

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