Stay up late.

熬夜。

You can.

你可以。

It's worth it.

這是值得的。

You could sleep in.

你可以睡在。

Because tomorrow, of course, is Thanksgiving Day.

因為明天，當然是感恩節。

Yeah, and?

是啊，然後呢？

Well, sure.

嗯，當然。

Go for it.

去吧

Why not?

為什麼不呢？

However, if you're if you're gathering with your family at least this year you You don't have to worry about what the Thanksgiving dinner argument will be.

然而，如果你如果你與你的家人聚會至少今年你你不必擔心感恩節晚餐的爭論會是什麼。

It will be about masks.

都會和口罩有關。

Yeah.

是啊。

Yeah, it will be about wearing masks.

沒錯，話題一定會和戴口罩有關。

Do you know what we call Thanksgiving in Britain?

你知道在英國我們叫什麼感恩節嗎？

Don't we call Thanksgiving in Britain?

我們英國不叫感恩節嗎？

Fikes giving?

費克斯給?

Yeah, way.

是啊，方式。

Don't call it folks giving Thanksgiving way Thanksgiving right here.

不要叫它鄉親們給感恩節方式感恩節就在這裡。

No, in all seriousness.

不，我是認真的。

Do you know what we call Thanksgiving, John?

你知道我們把感恩節叫做什麼嗎，約翰？

We call it Thursday.

我們叫它週四。

Yeah.

是啊。

According to a recent study, one in three households will take their guests temperatures before allowing them in for Thanksgiving gatherings.

根據最近的一項研究，每三個家庭中就有一個家庭會在感恩節聚會時給客人量體溫，然後再讓他們進來。

You just know once it gets to that relative that everybody doesn't like And they were hoping that he wouldn't turn up.

你知道一旦到了那個大家都不喜歡的親戚那裡 他們就會希望他不要出現。

People hosting will be like Ah, no.

主持人會覺得啊，不。

He says you've got a temperature of 140.

他說你的體溫有140度。

So anyway, we'll see you next year.

所以無論如何，我們明年再見。

What?

什麼？

I've clicked it off now.

我現在已經把它點掉了。

You can't see it now.

你現在看不到了。

We'll see you next year.

我們明年再見。

See you next year.

明年見。

The Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.

梅西百貨的感恩節遊行。

It's still happening this year, but it's gonna look a little different.

今年仍然會發生，但看起來會有點不同。

There'll be no Spectators on.

不會有旁觀者在。

The balloons will only float down one block.

氣球只能飄下一個街區。

We'll just show a rerun.

我們就重播一次。

Just show last year's parade.

只需展示去年的遊行。

No one's really watching it.

沒有人真的看它。

It's just on in the background so that we've been tired.

只是在後臺開著，所以我們一直很累。

We've memorized last year's parade.

我們已經記住了去年的遊行。

Just pick a parade that didn't have Matt Lauer in it and show that one.

挑一個沒有馬特-勞爾參加的遊行，然後播放那個。

You know, this morning, several, eh?

你知道，今天早上，有幾個，嗯？

NBA players had an unprecedented meeting with Pope Francis to discuss social justice issues.

NBA球員與教皇方濟各進行了一次前所未有的會面，討論社會正義問題。

I mean, this feels like that episode of Scooby Doo.

我是說，這感覺就像 "史酷比 "的那一集。

When they have the Harlem Globetrotters, you're like, Well, that's an unexpected combo, but I'm down to see where it goes.

當他們有哈林環球旅行者時，你會覺得，嗯，這是一個意想不到的組合，但我想看看它去哪裡。

The players.

隊員們。

The NBA players apparently discussed American social issues with the pope, someone who doesn't live in the United States and can't really do anything about it.

NBA球員顯然與教皇討論了美國的社會問題，一個並不生活在美國的人，真的無能為力。

So I think it's starting to seem like the pope just wanted to meet some NBA player.

所以，我覺得這開始像是教皇只是想見見某個NBA球員。

I never saw this.

我從沒見過這個

Did you have the pope down as a basketball fan in E.

你是不是把教皇當做E國的籃球迷了。

I don't know.

我不知道。

I'm pretty Jewish, so I don't have a lot of opinions on the pope in general.

我是相當的猶太人，所以我對教皇一般沒有什麼意見。

But But you see him, what's his team?

但你看他，他是什麼團隊？

Who's the pope gonna gonna support the Utah Jazz?

誰是教皇要去支持猶他爵士隊？

I know who is.

我知道誰是。

Um, I know who is NFL Team is.

嗯，我知道誰是NFL球隊。

Who's that?

那是誰？

Cardinals?

紅雀隊？

I If not, come on off the top of the dome off the top of the dome.

我如果沒有，就從穹頂上下來吧，從穹頂上下來吧。

I don't even follow football.

我甚至不關注足球。

I don't know about the Cardinals because of Jerry Maguire.

我不知道紅雀隊是因為傑瑞-馬奎爾。

Yeah, we'll have what happens when the Cardinals play the Saints.

是啊，當紅雀隊對陣聖徒隊的時候，我們會知道會發生什麼。

I don't know what does happen when the Cardinals play the Saints this year.

我不知道今年紅雀隊打聖徒隊的時候會發生什麼。

Probably a narrow Cardinals win.

可能是紅雀隊小勝。

You know, a new dating app exclusively for bald people?

你知道嗎，一個新的約會應用程序，專門為禿頭人？

Yeah, it's called bald dating.

是啊，這就是所謂的光頭約會。

Yeah, and it aims to help those who are bald or who have thinning hair.

是的，它的目的是幫助那些禿頭或頭髮稀疏的人。

Find partners who quote prefer it that way.

找到報價喜歡這樣的夥伴。

Yeah, a dating app for bald people, which is disappointing news for that one guy who thought he was finally about to have sex with the bald eagle on yesterday.

是啊，一個光頭人的約會應用，這對於昨天那個以為終於要和禿鷹發生關係的傢伙來說，是一個令人失望的消息。

One of Trump's lawyers, Sidney Powell, was fired for promoting a conspiracy theory that was too wild even for Trump.

特朗普的律師之一，西德尼-鮑威爾，因為宣傳一個連特朗普都覺得太瘋狂的陰謀論而被解僱。

Apparently, she made baseless claims that Republican officials have been involved in a payoff scheme to manipulate voting machines.

顯然，她毫無根據地聲稱共和黨官員參與了操縱投票機的賄賂計劃。

Here's how big of a embarrassment she wants to the Trump team.

她要給特朗普團隊帶來多大的尷尬。

The guy who held a press conference next to a sex shop on last week had hair dye running down his face on who wears loafers that looked like clown shoes.

上週在性用品店旁邊召開新聞發佈會的那個人，臉上的染髮劑流到了誰的臉上，他穿的懶人鞋看起來像小丑鞋。

That guy still on the team, but I saw this coming.

那人還在隊裡，但我早料到了。

I did any good Conspiracy theories will tell you if you rearrange the letters in Sydney Powell, you get needy pillows, which is obviously a nod to the My Pillow CEO who invented coronavirus to destabilize the next support industry.

我做了任何好的陰謀論會告訴你，如果你重新排列雪梨鮑威爾的字母，你會得到需要的枕頭，這顯然是對我的枕頭首席執行官的點頭，他發明了冠狀病毒來破壞下一個支持行業的穩定。

I gotta be honest.

我得說實話。

I spent a lot of time on the Internet this week on.

本週我花了很多時間在互聯網上。

While it's still not clear whether Trump will ever concede the election to Joe Biden, Twitter has weighed in and announced they will automatically transfer the POTUS account to Biden on Inauguration Day.

雖然目前還不清楚特朗普是否會向喬-拜登認輸，但推特已經做出了迴應，並宣佈他們將在就職典禮當天自動將POTUS賬戶轉移給拜登。

But that can't stop Trump from changing the password at the last second toe biting sucks 69.

但這不能阻止特朗普在最後一秒更改密碼腳趾頭咬爛69。

I mean, Trump, mostly tweets from his personal account anyway, like he only uses the POTUS account for important presidential business like Retweeting.

我的意思是，特朗普，反正大部分都是用他的個人賬號發推特，就像他只用POTUS賬號做重要的總統事務，比如轉推。

Everything from his personal account Trump is still not conceding the election.

從他的個人賬戶上看，一切特朗普仍然沒有承認選舉。

And according to reports, Trump agreed to Biden's transition only after being told by advisers that he didn't have to admit defeat.

而據報道，特朗普是在被顧問告知不必認輸的情況下，才同意拜登的過渡。

Which raises an important philosophical question.

這就提出了一個重要的哲學問題。

If you never concede, did you really lose on the answer's Yes, yes, you did.

如果你從不認輸，難道你真的輸在答案的是，是的，你輸了。

Okay, translate the chess master like who's being badly beaten?

好了，翻譯一下象棋大師，誰被打得很慘？

So just so suggests the draw.

所以就這樣建議抽籤。

I don't know if that analogy works.

我不知道這個比喻是否可行。

I'm only up to Episode five of The Queen's Gambit, I don't know.

我只看了《女王的賭博》第五集，我不知道。

Meanwhile, President elect Biden is moving forward with his transition into the new administration and has already begun to name Cabinet members.

與此同時，候任總統拜登正在推進他向新政府的過渡，並已開始任命內閣成員。

Today, he announced he will be nominating his longtime foreign policy aide, Anthony Blinken, as secretary off state.

今天，他宣佈將提名他的長期外交政策助手，安東尼-布林肯，擔任國務卿。

This is the return to normalcy.

這就是迴歸常態。

We need just a regular, boring guy whose name I can barely pronounce, You know, here's Anthony Blinken here.

我們只需要一個普通的，無聊的傢伙，他的名字我幾乎念不出來，你知道，這是安東尼-布林肯在這裡。

Look at that.

你看那個。

If nothing else.

如果沒有別的。

Now we at least know what Zach Braff is gonna look like in 15 years time.

現在我們至少知道15年後Zach Braff會是什麼樣子。

I like seeing this.

我喜歡看這個。

I did finally, a member of the Cabinet who doesn't look like the villain in an eighties kids movie, you know.

我終於做到了，一個看起來不像八十年代兒童電影裡的反派的內閣成員，你知道的。

Instead, he looks like a guy who's got one line in an early two thousands political drama.

相反，他看起來就像一個在早期兩千部政治劇裡有一句臺詞的人。

Sir, it's time to go.

先生，該走了

Yeah, on Trump isn't giving up on the baseless claims of an election conspiracy.

是啊，在特朗普並沒有放棄對選舉陰謀的毫無根據的說法。

In fact, Trump spent this morning retweeting five separate posts most, um, about election fraud from, and this is completely true thing.

事實上，特朗普今天上午花了五個單獨的帖子轉發最，嗯，關於選舉欺詐從，這是完全真實的事情。

Eccentric actor Randy Quaid.

古怪的演員蘭迪-奎德。

Five.

五是

Randy Quaid Retweets too Sure, three.

蘭迪-奎德也轉發了 當然，三條。

Pushing it five.

推五。

I think that makes him secretary of agriculture.

我想這讓他成為農業部長。

Now you might remember Randy Quaid is the nutty Cousin Eddie from Christmas vacation?

現在你可能還記得蘭迪-奎德是聖誕假期裡的瘋子表哥艾迪嗎？

Or is the nutty fighting fighter pilot from Independence Day, or the nutty criminal fugitive from real life in the final post that the president Retweeted Randy Quaid, did a dramatic reading of a Trump tweet attacking Fox News?

還是《獨立日》中的那個瘋狂的戰鬥戰鬥機飛行員，還是總統轉發蘭迪-奎德的最後一篇文章中那個現實生活中的瘋狂犯罪逃犯，對特朗普攻擊福克斯新聞的推特做了戲劇性的解讀？

Have a look.

看看吧

They forgot the golden goose, the only difference between the 2016 election and 2020 she fucks news guys, I think Santa is struggling with quarantine.

他們忘記了金鵝，2016年大選和2020年她搞新聞的傢伙之間的唯一區別，我認為聖誕老人正在與檢疫鬥爭。

Could we pull up a still of that photo if I'm a Randy Quaid?

如果我是蘭迪-奎德的話，能不能調出那張照片的靜止畫面？