WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."

歡迎來到 "深夜秀"。

I'M YOUR SHOWS STEPHEN COLBERT.

我是你的節目史蒂芬-科爾伯特。

AND TONIGHT IS A VERY SPECIAL "A LATE SHOW."

而今晚是一個非常特殊的 "晚間秀"。

YOU MAY REMEMBER LAST WEEK, WHEN I SAT DOWN WITH MY CLOSE

你可能還記得上個星期，我和我的親近的人坐在一起

PERSONAL FRIEND BARACK, AS HE HAS ASKED ME NOT TO CALL HIM,

我的私人朋友巴拉克，他讓我不要給他打電話。

PRESIDENT OBAMA.

奧巴馬總統：

WELL, IT TURNS OUT THE PRESIDENT AND I HAD SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT,

結果總統和我有很多話要談。

WE ACTUALLY COULDN'T FIT IT ALL IN ONE SHOW.

我們實際上無法把所有的東西都放在一個節目裡。

I MEAN, WE COULD HAVE, BUT THAT WOULD HAVE MEANT MORE TIME WITH

我的意思是，我們可以這樣做，但這將意味著更多的時間與...

AN AMERICAN ICON, AND FEWER COMMERCIALS FOR NASAL

一個美國的標誌，和更少的商業納沙爾。

DECONGESTANT-- AND OBVIOUSLY NO ONE WANTS THAT.

減肥... ... 而且顯然沒有人想這樣。

SO IN THE GREAT TRADITION OF THIS POST-THANKSGIVING SEASON,

所以，在這個感恩節後的季節，偉大的傳統。

TONIGHT, I'M GOING TO SERVE UP SOME DELICIOUS LEFTOVERS, IN

今晚，我將提供一些美味的左旋肉餅，在。

WHAT I'M CALLING "A LATE SHOW'S CHOCK-A-BLOCK-A-BARACK

我所說的 "晚間秀 "的CHOCK-A-BLOCK-A-BARACK。

OBAMA-RAMA EXTRAVAGAMA!" AS YOU KNOW, THE FORMER

OBAMA-RAMA EXTRAVAGAMA！"如你所知，前總統。

PRESIDENT HAS BEEN MAKING THE ROUNDS RECENTLY TO PROMOTE HIS

主席最近一直在巡視，以宣傳他自己的 "大手筆"。

NEW BOOK, "A PROMISED LAND."

新書《應許的土地》。

IT'S THE STORY OF BARACK OBAMA'S FIRST 27 MONTHS AS PRESIDENT,

這是巴拉克-奧巴馬作為總統的前27個月的故事。

AND, AT ALMOST 800 PAGES, IT WILL TAKE MOST PEOPLE 27 MONTHS

而且，差不多有800頁，這需要大多數人27個月的時間。

TO FINISH.

完成。

IT'S THE FIRST MEMOIR MEANT TO BE READ IN REAL-TIME.

這是第一本旨在實時閱讀的回憶錄。

MY FAVORITE PART ABOUT "A PROMISED LAND" IS THAT, JUST

我最喜歡 "約定的土地 "的部分是... ...

LIKE MOST BOOKS, ON THE DUST JACKET, IT'S GOT A LITTLE AUTHOR

就像大多數書一樣，在硬皮上，它有一個小作者。

BIO: "BARACK OBAMA WAS THE 44TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES

簡介："巴拉克-奧巴馬是美國第44任總統。"巴拉克-奧巴馬是美國第44任總統

ELECTED IN NOVEMBER OF 2008," ETC, ETC.

在2008年11月當選"，等等，等等。

WHO IS THAT FOR, EXACTLY?

這到底是為了誰？

WHO PICKS UP THIS BOOK WITHOUT KNOWING WHO WROTE IT?

誰會在不知道誰寫的情況下拿起這本書？

"LET'S SEE, I'M A BIG FAN OF PROMISES, AND I'M A LAND

"讓我們來看看，我是一個承諾的忠實粉絲，我是一個土地

MAMMAL... LET ME FIND OUT WHO THIS 'BARACK OBAMA' GUY IS."

媽媽...讓我看看誰是這個'奧巴馬'的傢伙。"

"A PROMISED LAND" HAS BEEN A LONG TIME COMING.

"承諾的土地 "已經有很長一段時間了。

PRESIDENT OBAMA SAYS IT TOOK HIM TWO AND A HALF YEARS LONGER THAN

奧巴馬總統說，他花了兩年半的時間，比其他國家都要長。

EXPECTED TO FINISH.

預計完成。

NOT SURPRISING.

並不奇怪。

IF HE DICTATED IT, THE PAUSES WOULD EAT UP BIG CHUNK OF THAT.

如果他說了，PAUSES會吃掉一大塊。

THIS BOOK IS ALREADY A HUGE DEAL, SELLING A RECORD-BREAKING

這本書已經是一個巨大的交易，銷售創紀錄的破紀錄的

1.7 MILLION COPIES IN THE FIRST WEEK.

第一週就有170萬份。

IN FACT, DEMAND FOR "A PROMISED LAND" IN AMERICA WAS SO HIGH

事實上，美國對 "應許之地 "的需求是如此之大。

THAT THE INTERNATIONAL PUBLISHER HAS PRINTED 1.5 MILLION COPIES

國際出版商已印製150萬份文件

IN GERMANY TO BRING OVER ON CARGO SHIPS.

在德國的貨船上帶過來的。

BUT I'M ASSURED CUSTOMERS WON'T NOTICE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN

但我保證客戶不會注意到兩者之間的差異。

THE AMERICAN VERSION AND THE GERMAN ONE.

《美國版》和《德國版》。

AND IF YOU'RE HAPPY TO SEE OBAMA BACK IN THE SPOTLIGHT

如果你很高興看到奧巴馬重回聚光燈下。

AGAIN, YOU'RE NOT ALONE: INDEPENDENT BOOKSTORES IN

再一次，你並不孤單：獨立書店在哪裡？

PARTICULAR ARE REPORTING UNPRECEDENTED FIRST-DAY SALES,

PARTICULAR ARE REPORTING UNPRECENTED FIRST-DAY SALES。

WHICH COULD PROVE CRUCIAL IN RECOVERING SOME OF THE LOSSES

挽回某些損失的關鍵所在。

SUFFERED DURING THE SHUTDOWN.

在關閉期間遭受的損失。

HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS MAN NEED TO SAVE THE ECONOMY?

這個人需要多少次才能拯救經濟？

HE PROPPED UP THE AUTO INDUSTRY, NOW PUBLISHING, AND NEXT WEEK,

他撐起了汽車工業，現在出版，下週又出版。

HE'S BRINGING BACK AMERICA'S SHOPPING MALLS BY GETTING HIS

他通過讓他的 "小弟 "恢復了美國的購物商場。

EARS PIERCED AT CLAIRE'S.

在CLAIRE'S的耳朵被刺穿。

OBAMA IS A DEMOCRAT, BUT IN HIS EARLY YEARS, HE DID FLIRT WITH

奧巴馬是民主黨人，但在他早年，他也曾與民主黨人打過交道。

OTHER POLITICAL IDEOLOGIES.

其他政治理念：

AND I DO MEAN "FLIRT."

我指的是 "火炬"。

AS HE SAYS IN HIS BOOK, A PERFORMATIVE INTEREST IN THE

正如他在書中所說，對錶演的興趣。

WRITINGS OF POLITICAL PHILOSOPHERS LIKE KARL MARX AND

卡爾-馬克思等政治哲學家的著作和

FRANTZ FANON GAVE HIM SOMETHING TO SAY TO THE LONG-LEGGED

弗朗茨-法農讓他對長腿說幾句話。

SOCIALIST WHO LIVED IN HIS DORM AND THE ETHEREAL BISEXUAL WHO

住在宿舍裡的社會主義者和異性戀的雙性戀者

WORE MOSTLY BLACK.

穿著一身黑色的衣服。

OH, YEAH, NOTHING GETS THE LADIES GOING LIKE MARXISM.

哦，是的，沒有什麼能讓女士們像馬克思主義一樣去。

(FLIRTY) "HEY, BABY, ARE YOU RELIGION?

（FLIRTY）"嘿，寶貝，你是宗教？

BECAUSE YOU'RE THE OPIATE OF MY MASSES.

因為你是我的民眾的鴉片。

LET'S MAKE LIKE THE PROLETARIAT AND SEIZE EACH OTHER'S MEANS OF

讓我們像PROLETARIAT一樣，看看對方的手段。

PRODUCTION."

PRODUCTION"。

OBAMA ALSO REVEALS WHO HAD THE FINAL SAY ON ONE OF HIS MOST

奧巴馬還透露了誰對他最重要的一個項目做了最後的決定。

ICONIC SLOGANS.

ICONIC SLOGAN。

HE WAS PITCHED A CAMPAIGN AD WHERE HE LOOKED INTO THE CAMERA

他被投擲了一個廣告廣告，在那裡他看著鏡頭。

AND SAID "YES WE CAN."

並說 "是的，我們可以。"

OBAMA SAYS "I THOUGHT IT WAS CORNY, BUT THE DIRECTOR SHOWED

奧巴馬說："我以為是玉米，但導演展示了。

IT TO MICHELLE, WHO DEEMED IT 'NOT CORNY AT ALL'."

它給米歇爾，誰認為它'不是玉米的所有'。"

THANK GOODNESS MICHELLE OBAMA TOLD HIM NOT TO PLAY IT SO COOL!

謝天謝地，米歇爾-奧巴馬告訴他不要玩得太酷了!

OTHERWISE WE WOULD'VE BEEN STUCK WITH POSTERS THAT SAID "HOPE, OR

否則，我們就會被寫著 "希望，或者 "的海報所困擾。

WHATEVER, NO BIG DEAL."

什麼的，沒什麼大不了的。"

NOW THAT THE BOOK IS ON THE SHELVES, OBAMA IS NOT RESTING ON

現在書已經上架了，奧巴馬也不甘示弱。

HIS LAURELS.

他的勞力士。

HE AND THE FORMER FIRST LADY HAVE ANNOUNCED THEY'LL BE

他和前第一夫人已經宣佈，他們將是

PRODUCING A NETFLIX SKETCH COMEDY SERIES ABOUT THE

製作一個關於NETFLIX滑稽喜劇系列的節目。

TRANSITION CHAOS FROM HIS ADMINISTRATION TO NUMBER 45.

從他的行政管理到數字45的過渡混亂。

A NETFLIX SHOW ABOUT TAKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE FROM OBAMA?

一部關於從奧巴馬手中奪取白宮的NETFLIX節目？

PLEASE CALL IT "ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK."

請叫它 "橙色是新的黑色"。

BUT YOU'VE HEARD ENOUGH OF ME TALKING ABOUT BARACK OBAMA.

但你已經聽夠了我對奧巴馬的談論。

LET'S CHANGE THINGS UP AND WATCH ME TALKING TO BARACK OBAMA.

讓我們把事情改變一下，看我跟奧巴馬說話。

JIM?

吉姆？

>> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING DOWN.

>> 謝謝你的光臨。

YOU NEEDED A CHANGE IN VENUE.

你需要換個地方。

>> Stephen: I GOT NOTHING ELSE GOING ON RIGHT NOW.

>> 史蒂芬：我現在沒有別的事情要做。

( LAUGHTER ) >> YEAH, IT'S GOOD TO SEA YA.

( 笑 ) >> 是的，很高興見到你。

>> Stephen: NICE TO TEE ZE YOU, TOO.

>> Stephen:很高興見到你，太。

>> HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?

>> 你過得怎麼樣？

YOU LOOK WELL.

你看起來很好。

>> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

>> Stephen:謝謝你非常多。

YOU LOOK WELL, TOO.

你看起來也很好。

>> THAT'S AN EXCEPTIONALLY NICE SUIT.

>> 這是一個非常漂亮的西裝。

>> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

>> Stephen:謝謝你非常多。

DO YOU NOT OWN A TIE?

你沒有領帶嗎？

>> I DON'T BELIEVE IN TIES ANYMORE.

>> 我再也不相信領帶了。

>> Stephen: REALLY?

>> Stephen:真的嗎？

FUNERALS AND WEDDINGS, THE ONLY TIME YOU'RE GOING TO SEE ME

葬禮和婚禮，你唯一能見到我的時候。

IN A TIE.

在一個領帶。

>> Stephen: NOW THAT YOU'RE NO LONGER THE PRESIDENT OF THE

>> 現在你不再是美國總統了

UNITED STATES, DO I STILL HAVE TO BE DIGNIFIED AROUND YOU?

美國，我還需要在你身邊被人詆譭嗎？

>> NO.

>> NO.

YOU WEREN'T DIGNIFIED PREVI PREVIOUSLY.

你沒有DIGNIFIED PREVI PREVIOUSLY。

>> AFTER EIGHT MONTHS, MY BODY IS NO LONGER SUIT SPAIPPED

>> 八個月後，我的身體已經不再適合SPA了。

SHAPED.

定型。

>> LISTEN, YOU LOOK GOOD IN YOUR SOUGHT, YOU SHAVED, SHOES

>> 聽著，你看起來不錯，在你的搜索，你刮鬍子，鞋子。

POLISHED.

拋光。

>> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

>> Stephen:謝謝你非常多。

>> I THINK SHE JUST WANTED TO SEE YOU UPGRADED A LITTLE BIT.

>> 我想她只是想看你升級了一點。

>> Stephen: I THINK SO, TOO.

>> Stephen:我也這麼認為

BY THE WAY, I AM ENJOYING "A PROMISED LAND."

順便說一下，我正在享受 "有前途的土地"。

>> THANK YOU.

>> 謝謝你。

>> Stephen: YOU WRITE IN THE BOOK THAT ONE OF THE THINGS YOU

>> 斯蒂芬：你在書中寫道，你的其中一件事是

NOTICE ABOUT BECOMING PRESIDENT IS NO ONE EVER CALLS YOU BY YOUR

關於當主席的注意事項是，沒有人再叫你的名字。

FIRST NAME AGAIN.

名字又來了。

>> YEAH.

>> 是的。

>> Stephen: I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN THE LAST FOUR YEARS, BUT I'VE

>> 史蒂芬：我在過去的四年裡沒有見過你，但我已經。

SPENT A LOT OF TIME WITH YOUR LIFE.

花了很多時間與你的生活。

TRAVELED TO LONDON TOGETHER AND INTERVIEWED FOR HER BOOK IN

一起前往倫敦，併為她的書在倫敦接受採訪。

NASHVILLE, SE GAVE ME A CAKE ON MY BIRTHDAY, DANCED FOR MY

納什維爾，東南大學在我生日的時候給了我一個蛋糕，為我跳舞。

BIRTHDAY.

生日。

SHE ACTUALLY GOT AN EMAIL FROM ONE OF HER ASSISTANTS SAYING SHE

她真的收到了她的一個助理的電子郵件，說她的。

IS DONE WITH ME CALLING HER MADAM FIRST LADY AND I AM TO

我叫她第一夫人已經結束了，我要去了。

CALL HER MICHELLE IN SO UNCERTAIN TERMS AND I HAVE NOT

叫她MICHELLE，在如此不確定的術語，我沒有。

SEEN HER TO DO THAT YET, BUT I AM GOING TO GET THE COURAGE TO

看到她這樣做，但我要得到的勇氣。

DO THAT WHEN I SEE HER NEXT.

等我下次見到她的時候再這樣做。

MR. PRESIDENT, IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WOULD LIKE TO SAY TO ME?

先生。主席，你有什麼話想對我說嗎？

>> NO.

>> NO.

YOU KNOW WHAT, I TAKE THAT BACK.

你知道嗎，我收回這句話。

>> Stephen: I'M SORRY?

>> Stephen:我很抱歉？

YOU DON'T HAVE TO CALL ME MR. PRESIDENT, YOU CAN JUST CALL

你不必叫我先生。主席，你可以直接打電話給...

ME PRESIDENT.

主席：

>> Stephen: THANK YOU.

>> Stephen:謝謝你。

THANK YOU.

謝謝你。

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> 好的。

>> Stephen: ON BEHALF OF A LOT OF AMERICANS, I THINK I CAN SAY

>> Stephen: 代表很多美國人，我想我可以說：

WITH CONFIDENCE THAT WE'VE MISSED YOU.

確信我們一直在想念你。

>> THANK YOU.

>> 謝謝你。

>> Stephen: THESE LAST FOUR YEARS.

>> Stephen:這些持續了四年的時間。

DID YOU MISS YOU?

你想你了嗎？

DID YOU EVER LOOK AT SOMETHING GOING ON IN THE NEWS AND GO, YOU

你有沒有看過新聞裡發生的事情，然後就走了？

KNOW WHAT THIS SITUATION NEEDS?

知道這種情況需要什麼嗎？

BARACK OBAMA.

巴拉克・奧巴馬。

>> (LAUGHING) I'VE SAID THIS BEFORE, PEOPLE WOULD ASK ME,

>> 我以前說過，人們會問我。

KNOWING WHAT YOU KNOW NOW, DO YOU WISH YOU HAD A THIRD TERM?

在你知道的情況下，你希望你有第三個任期嗎？

AND I USED TO SAY, IF I COULD MAKE AN ARRANGEMENT WHERE I HAD

我曾經說過，如果我能做出安排，在那裡我有。

A STAND-IN, A FRONT-MAN OR FRONT-WOMAN AND THEY HAD AN EAR

一個替補，一個前鋒或前鋒女人，他們有一個耳朵。

PIECE IN AND I WAS IN MY BASEMENT OR SWEATS LOOKING

我在我的地下室或汗水中尋找。

THROUGH THE STUFF AND I COULD DELIVER THE LINES, BUT SOMEBODY

通過這些東西，我可以提供的線，但有人

ELSE WAS DOING ALL THE TALKING AND CEREMONY, I WOULD BE FINE

其他人做了所有的談話和儀式，我將會很好。

WITH THAT BECAUSE I FOUND THE WORK FASCINATING.

因為我覺得工作很有樂趣

I MEAN, I WRITE ABOUT THE -- EVEN ON MY WORST DAYS, I FOUND

我是說，我寫的是... 即使在我最糟糕的日子裡，我發現

PUZZLING OUT, YOU KNOW, THESE BIG, COMPLICATED, DIFFICULT

摸不著頭腦，你知道，這些大的，複雜的，困難的。

ISSUES, ESPECIALLY IF YOU WERE WORKING WITH SOME GREAT PEOPLE,

問題，特別是如果你和一些優秀的人一起工作。

TO BE PROFESSIONALLY REALLY SATISFYING.

要專業的真正令人滿意的。

BUT I DO NOT MISS HAVING TO WEAR A TIE EVERY DAY.

但我不想念每天都要打領帶的日子。

>> Stephen: ARE THERE ASPECTS OF THE JOB -- BECAUSE WE FOUND

>> Stephen: 工作中是否有一些方面 -- -- 因為我們找到了。

OUT FROM YOUR SUCCESSOR THAT THERE'S A WHOLE BUNCH OF STUFF

從你的繼任者那裡得知，有一大堆的東西

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO AND PEOPLE STILL LOOK AT YOU AS PRESIDENT.

你不需要做，人們還是會把你當主席看。

ARE THERE A FEW THINGS YOU CHUCKED OUT AND YOU WENT, OH, IF

是否有一些東西你扔了，你去，哦，如果。

ONLY I HAD KNOWN I DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT?

要是我知道我不用這麼做就好了？

>> I THINK THERE WAS A LOT.

>> 我覺得有很多。

>> Stephen: RESPOND TO SUBPOENAS?

>> Stephen:迴應傳票？

>> FOLLOW THE CONSTITUTION.

>> 遵守憲法。

>> Stephen: YEAH, THAT'S A GRAYING DRAG.

>> 史蒂芬：是的，那是一個灰色拉格。

THAT CONSTITUTION IS A DRAG.

該憲法是一個拖累。

YOU SAY YOU'VE WRITTEN THIS BOOK FOR YUM PEOPLE OF THE NEXT

你說你寫了這本書給下一任的YUM人。

GENERATION.

代。

YOU'RE 59, I'M 56.

你59歲，我56歲。

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE US GEN XERES TO KNOW?

你想讓我們這些X世代的人知道什麼？

>> GET OUT OF THE WAY.

>> 走出的方式。

>> Stephen: OKAY, BOOMER.

>> Stephen:好吧，Boomer。

(LAUGHING) I WILL SAY I AM SO OPTIMISTIC ABOUT OUR KIDS, AND

我會說我對我們的孩子很樂觀，而且

THEY'RE SMARTER THAN WE WERE, THEY'RE MORE SOPHISTICATED,

他們比我們聰明，他們更有學問。

THEY'RE KINDER, THEY'RE ENVIRONMENTALLY MORE CONSCIOUS,

他們是善良的，他們的環境更有意識。

THEY BELIEVED IN STUFF, AS I WRITE IN THE PREFACE, THAT MAYBE

他們相信的東西，正如我在前言中寫的那樣，可能是：

WE GAVE LIP SERVICE TO BUT DIDN'T WANT TO LIVE OUT BECAUSE

我們給脣部服務，但不想活出來，因為。

IT REQUIRED SOME SACRIFICE AND YOU SEE THEM LIVING OUT THEIR

它需要一些犧牲，而你看到他們活出了自己的生命。

COMMITMENTS IN REALLY POWERFUL WAYS.

以真正有力的方式作出承諾。

BUT WE HAVE TO BE WILLING TO GIVE THEM THE CHANCE TO REMAKE

但我們必須願意給他們機會，讓他們重新做人。

INSTITUTIONS AND CHANGE OLD HABITS.

體制和改變舊習慣；

SO THEY MAKE ME OPEN MYSTIC, I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT WE

所以他們讓我打開了神祕主義，我只是想確保我們。

DON'T SCREW THINGS UP SO BAD THAT, BY THE TIME THEY'RE IN

不要把事情搞砸了，以至於到時候，他們在

CHARGE, THAT, YOU KNOW, IT BECOMES THAT MUCH HARDER.

收費，那，你知道，它變得更加困難。

>> Stephen: BY THE WAY, HAVE YOU LISTENED TO YOUR OWN AUDIO

>> Stephen:順便說一下，你有沒有聽過你自己的音頻？

BOOK OF THIS?

這本書？

I KNOW YOU RECORDED IT.

我知道你錄下了。

>> I DID RECORD IT, SO I WAS LISTENING TO IT WHILE I WAS

>> 我確實錄了，所以我在聽的時候，我在聽

READING.

閱讀：

>> I ENJOY THE AUDIO BOOK.

>> 我很喜歡這本音頻書。

YOU CAN LISTEN TO YOUR AUDIO BOOK AT DOUBLE SPEED AND CAN'T

您可以用雙倍的速度聽您的音頻書，但不能

TELL IT'S GOING FASTER.

告訴它走得更快。

>> YOUR VOICE IS HIGHER ISN'T IT?

>> 你的聲音更高了吧？

>> Stephen: NO, YOUR VOICE STAYS AT THE SAME LEVEL, JUST AS

>> 斯蒂芬：不，你的聲音保持在同一水準，就像你的聲音一樣。

NORMAL HUMAN TALKING SPEED.

NORMAL HUMAN TALKING SPEED.

OKAY.

好的。

>> (LAUGHING) WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU GOT.

>> 你還能得到什麼？

>> Stephen: HOLD THAT THAWVMENT BACK WITH MORE OF THE

>> 史蒂芬：用更多的錢把鋸子擋住。

44th PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

美國第44屆總統：

BARACK OBAMA.

巴拉克・奧巴馬。