some great people that are on.

一些偉大的人，是在。

[Andy] Excellent show.

精彩的表演

We have...

我們有...

[Andy] Before you go,

在你走之前

I'm sorry to monopolize the whole thing.

我很抱歉壟斷了整個事情。

That's okay man,

沒關係的人。

we are just killing time and if you got something, go!

我們只是在打發時間，如果你有什麼東西，去！

Well I just, I feel like I should introduce somebody

好吧，我只是，我覺得我應該介紹一個人。

who's been here before.

誰在這裡之前，

She's in the audience tonight,

她今晚在觀眾席上

everybody it's my little sister Stacy.

大家好，這是我的妹妹史黛西。

(audience applause)

(觀眾掌聲)

She's cute

她很可愛

Yeah

是的，是的

Hi there Stacy, it's really great to see you again.

嗨，斯泰西，很高興再次見到你。

Thanks a lot Conan it's awesome to see you again.

非常感謝柯南，很高興再次見到你。

(audience laughter)

(觀眾笑聲)

Yeah that reminds me,

是的，這提醒了我。

Stacy wanted me to invite you over

史黛西要我請你過去

to our family's house for Thanksgiving.

到我們家過感恩節。

She still has a big crush on you.

她對你還是很有好感的。

(audience laughter)

(觀眾笑聲)

Shut up Andy.

閉嘴，安迪。

Stacy come on it's cute,

斯泰西來吧，它的可愛。

I mean she has been, the idea of you coming over,

我的意思是，她一直， 你過來的想法。

she's been looking forward to it for weeks.

她已經期待了幾個星期了。

She's even been rehearsing like if you were to come over.

她甚至一直在排練，就像你要過來一樣。

Actually I have some pictures.

其實我有一些照片。

Here she is, she's getting ready

她來了，她準備好了

to serve you some Thanksgiving pie.

為你提供一些感恩節派。

(audience laughter)

(觀眾笑聲)

The face, that's you on it.

這張臉，就是你在上面。

[Conan] Aw that's so, she made that pie and that outfit,

哦，是這樣，她做了那個派和那件衣服

that's great that's so sweet.

這是偉大的，這是如此甜蜜。

[Andy] She made a special float

她做了一個特別的花車

for the Thanksgiving Day Parade.

感恩節大遊行。

(audience laughter)

(觀眾笑聲)

[Andy] Yeah that's a lot of work.

是的，這是一個很大的工作。

That's amazing that kind of dedication, that's great.

那是驚人的那種奉獻精神，那是偉大的。

And show them the doll Stacy.

給他們看娃娃史黛西。

No way Andy.

沒辦法，安迪。

No come on, show them the doll, you brought it.

不，來吧，給他們看娃娃，你帶來的。

Okay fine, I made a little Conan.

好吧，我做了一個小柯南。

(audience laughter)

(觀眾笑聲)

Out of some Native American squash.

出了一些美國本土的瓜果。

That's really cool, that's really neat.

這真的很酷，這真的很整潔。

And then, I took my own hair

然後，我把自己的頭髮

and I dyed it with carrot juice

我還用胡蘿蔔汁染了它

and I made your hair with it.

我用它做了你的頭髮。

(audience laughter)

(觀眾笑聲)

That is really beautiful thank you.

這真的很美，謝謝你。

Yeah she's crazy about you.

是的，她為你瘋狂。

Thanks a lot Andy,

謝謝你，安迪。

now Conan thinks I'm like the Sultan of Dorkistan.

現在柯南認為我就像Dorkistan的蘇丹。

No, I don't think you're the Sultan of Dorkistan Stacy.

不，我不認為你是Dorkistan的Sultan Stacy。

I think you're a wonderful young lady.

我覺得你是個很好的年輕女士。

You're just saying that.

你只是說說而已。

No I'm not, I mean it and I'm very flattered

不，我不是，我是認真的，我很受寵若驚。

that you did all that Thanksgiving stuff for me.

你為我做了所有感恩節的事情。

I think that's very cool, I'm touched by it.

我覺得非常酷，我很感動。

You really mean that?

你真的這麼想？

(audience laughter)

(觀眾笑聲)

Well sure I mean that.

嗯，當然，我的意思是。

And believe me I would be there on Thursday

相信我，我週四會去的

if I didn't already have other plans.

如果我不是已經有了其他的計劃。

(audience empathizes)

(觀眾感同身受)

No, no need to "aw".

不，不需要 "aw"。

(audience laughter)

(觀眾笑聲)

You got other plans?

你有其他計劃嗎？

Well yeah, you know I promised my girlfriend's parents

是的，你知道我答應過我女朋友的父母

that I would go to their house.

我會去他們家。

Aw that's nice, that's good, girlfriend, that's fun.

啊，真好，真好，女朋友，真好玩。

That's nice of them to invite you over to their house.

他們能邀請你去他們家做客真是太好了。

Well Stacy, they asked me months ago.

斯泰西，他們幾個月前就問過我了。

I would love to come to your house too.

我也想去你家。

I just wish I could be two places at once.

我只是希望我可以同時在兩個地方。

Aw that's cute, two places at once.

啊，真可愛，一舉兩得。

Well let me just get this straight,

好吧，讓我把話說清楚。

the only way we could spend Thanksgiving together

只有這樣我們才能一起過感恩節。

would be if there was a breakdown

會是如果出現故障

in the time space continuum.

在時空連續體中。

Now Stacy don't get upset.

現在，斯泰西不要生氣。

No you back off big brother!

不，你退後，大哥！

(audience laughter)

(觀眾笑聲)

Unless you want some of a five knuckle stuffing

除非你想吃點五指山的餡料。

shoved into that butterball head of yours.

塞進你那顆奶油球的腦袋裡。

(audience applause)

(觀眾掌聲)

And you listen up Conan all right,

而你聽好了柯南的所有權利。

your words are cruel

巧言令色

and they feel like shrapnel

他們感覺像彈片

piercing my already broken heart.

刺破了我已經破碎的心。

But deep within my heart lies an army,

但在我的內心深處，有一支軍隊。

an elegant and fiercely brave infantry of hate.

一支優雅而勇猛的仇恨步隊。

(audience laughter)

(觀眾笑聲)

And all though this army has rejection

儘管這支軍隊有拒絕

buzzing by it's head like bullets

子彈般在它頭上飛來飛去

it will beat upon the drums of conquest with your bones.

它將與你的骨頭一起敲響征服的鼓。

Boom boom boom boom boom ta ta ta ta doom.

Charge, charge, charge, woo!

衝鋒，衝鋒，衝鋒，嗚嗚！

(audience applause)

(觀眾掌聲)

Stacy I am so sorry, okay?

斯泰西，我很抱歉，好嗎？

I didn't mean to upset you.

我不是故意讓你生氣的

I am so sorry too Conan.

我也很抱歉，柯南。

I guess my Thanksgiving spirit

我想我的感恩節精神

morphed into a vengeful poltergeist.

變成了一個復仇的鬼怪。

(audience laughter)

(觀眾笑聲)

No I can understand how that would happen Stacy.

不，我可以理解怎麼會這樣，斯泰西。

Hey you know look maybe

嘿，你知道看也許

we can get together next Thanksgiving.

我們可以在明年的感恩節聚在一起。

That would be really nice.

這將是非常好的。

Maybe she can make another crappy squash head doll.

也許她可以再做一個蹩腳的瓜子頭娃娃。

(audience laughter)

(觀眾笑聲)

All right you know what it's judgment day bitch.

好吧，你知道今天是審判日，婊子。

(audience laughter)

(觀眾笑聲)

[Conan] Stacy no! Stacy!

史黛西，不要！史黛西！

I love you. I love you. Please!

我愛你，我愛你我也愛你求你了！

We're gonna take a break we'll be right back.

我們要休息一下，我們馬上回來。