There's literally raining from the ceiling.

天花板上真的下起了雨。

Of course, this would happen on my shift.

當然，這種情況會發生在我值班的時候。

This was black Friday in 2018, and I worked in the computers department and I see like a bunch of employees, they're all gathered around and I'm like, What's going on?

這是2018年的黑色星期五，我在電腦部門工作，我看到好像有一堆員工，他們都圍在一起，我就說，這是怎麼回事？

And the first thing I see is there's this couple This guy looked like he was straight out of Jersey Shore 5 ft four, all roided out spray tan, the whole Pauly D spiked hair look and his girlfriend like you know, blonde 5, 10 and right as I walk over on top of like, our Big Apple display is a Leamer that goes like skittering across like I'm talking like Straight out of Madagascar is a boom, a few like a ringtail Weemer, and this thing is like a pink harness and a leash on.

我看到的第一件事是有一對情侶... ...這傢伙看起來就像直接從《澤西海岸》裡走出來的... ...5英尺4英寸高，全身噴著棕褐色的噴霧，整個保利-D的尖頭造型... ...而他的女朋友就像你知道的，金髮5英寸。10和正確的，因為我走過去的頂部像，我們的大蘋果顯示器是一個Leamer，去像滑行橫跨像我說的像直出馬拉加西是一個繁榮，一些像環尾Weemer，和這個東西是像一個粉紅色的馬甲和皮帶上。

So this guy brought this thing into a best Buy on Black Friday as a pet and, of course, being a Limmer, it decided to just run straight up.

這傢伙在黑色星期五把這東西帶進了一家百思買，作為寵物，當然，作為一隻林默，它決定直接跑上去。

This one poll that runs from one of the registers are all the way up into the ceiling mind you, this Leamer now has a harness and a leash on.

這一個投票，從一個登記處都是一直跑到天花板上的，你要知道，這個利馬現在已經有了一個馬甲和皮帶在身上。

So it's running around in the rafters, where there's always like metal cross hatching beams and the leashes getting wrapped around stuff.

所以，它在椽子上跑來跑去，那裡總是有像金屬交叉孵化梁 和皮帶得到纏繞的東西。

Oh my God, this thing is going to get caught, and it's gonna like, hang itself in the rafters.

哦，我的上帝，這東西要被抓住， 它要去喜歡，掛在椽子上。

The guy is like trying to coax it down like the dogs, like Come on, come on, come down and make you this thing doesn't know what you're telling it.

這傢伙就像哄狗一樣想把它哄下來，比如說來吧，來吧，下來吧，讓你這個東西不知道你跟它說什麼。

Dilemma is knocking down like all of this black dust that I'm sure has been accumulating since the store was built.

困境像這些黑色的灰塵一樣敲打下來，我相信從建店開始就一直在積累。

And then it starts pooping.

然後就開始拉屎。

There's a literal ween raining from the ceiling and just plot plot plot of Leamer crap like landing on the screens of the register.

天花板上下著字面ween雨，只是情節情節的利默廢話一樣落在收銀臺的螢幕上。

And you can hear it like as it hits, because it's falling from like, 40 ft air.

你可以聽到它像它的命中， 因為它的下降 從喜歡，40英尺的空氣。

I'm just standing there thinking like What the hell, They can't get this thing down.

我只是站在那裡想，像什麼地獄， 他們不能得到這個東西下來。

We had one manager left on duty, so she calls our head store manager.

我們還有一個經理在值班，所以她把我們的店長叫來。

He told her to call the fire Department, so she called the fire department.

他讓她給消防隊打電話，她就給消防隊打電話。

Then they told her that she needed to call animal Control.

然後他們告訴她，她需要打電話給動物控制中心。

And they said that they couldn't send anybody out until the morning.

他們還說，要到早上才能派人出去。

At this point, I was just so burnt out from the day I had to be back by, like, eight in the morning for the next shift.

在這一點上，我只是如此燒燬了一天，我必須回來的，像，早上八點的下一個轉變。

I'm like, this isn't my problem.

我想，這不是我的問題。

I believe it come to find out that it did actually make its way down by, like, 11, 11.

我相信它來發現，它實際上做了它的方式下降，喜歡，11，11。

30 Didn't get hurt.

30沒有受傷。

I guess they banned both of them from the store.

我猜他們把他們兩個都從店裡禁了。

It was pretty crazy, I guess.

我想，這是很瘋狂的。

Another day working in retail e had a customer come in.

又有一天，在零售業工作的e有一個顧客進來。

And he told me that he had purchased $50 worth of minutes on his boost phone, and they never went to Hiss phone.

他告訴我，他用他的升壓手機購買了價值50美元的分鐘數，但他們從來沒有去Hiss手機。

I checked the system.

我檢查了系統。

I told them I'm sorry.

我告訴他們我很抱歉。

Unfortunately, there is no proof that you purchased these minutes and he went skerry crazy.

不幸的是，沒有證據證明你購買了這些會議記錄，他就瘋了。

He took his home and he started smashing it on top of his head screaming You only a minutes.

他拿著他的家開始砸在他的頭頂上，尖叫著你只有一分鐘。

You owe me the minute you only the minutes I'm standing there like Oh, my God.

你欠我的一分鐘，你只有分鐘 我站在那裡像哦，我的上帝。

What is this guy doing?

這傢伙在做什麼？

And then he took the phone, broke it in half, threw it at me across the count.

然後他拿著手機，把它掰成兩半，隔著數數向我扔過來。

My manager finally decided to call the cops, and he waas escorted out.

我的經理最後決定報警，他被押了出去。

The most memorable Black Friday story had to be about five years ago.

最難忘的黑色星期五的故事得是五年前。

It was about 2015.

大約是在2015年。

It was in Brooklyn, New York, and I could tell you it was freezing outside.

那是在紐約的布魯克林，我可以告訴你外面很冷。

It was Brick, and all I could remember is walking about two hours in before the store opening and I could see a long line around the block.

那是Brick，我只記得在開店前兩個小時走進去，就能看到街區裡排起了長隊。

I noticed there was a woman who appeared to be pregnant, and I was thinking, I've seen fights.

我注意到有一個女人好像懷孕了，我當時就想，我見過打架的。

I've seen stampedes.

我見過蓋章的。

I've seen people pulling each other's hair over a TV.

我見過有人在電視上互相扯頭髮。

This probably isn't the most safe environment for her to be in, but hey to each his own.

這對她來說可能不是最安全的環境，但嘿嘿，各有所好。

So I pressed on.

於是我按捺不住了。

I go into the store.

我走進商店。

Sure enough, two hours later, they allow everybody to walk into the store, someone jumping on the loudspeaker and saying Emergency and out.

果然，兩個小時後，他們允許大家走進店裡，有人跳著喇叭說緊急，然後出去。

Five.

五是

Cleanup, emergency and outside.

清掃、應急和外。

I was curious to see why ran over the out five and lo and behold, it's the pregnant woman from outside.

我很好奇，想看看為什麼跑到了外五，瞧，是外面的孕婦。

She's in full on labor.

她在全力生產。

I was like, This is not happening right now, All you see is water everywhere from her water breaking police sirens is outside the ambulances rushing in.

我當時想，這不是發生在現在，你所看到的是水到處從她的水打破警笛是外面的救護車衝在。

I just remember her telling her husband, Let me go without just get the TV, get the TV.

我只記得她跟她老公說，讓我不去就拿電視，拿電視。

And I was just like, Oh, boy, I hope she doesn't name her child Samsung or Target.

我當時就想，哦，天啊，我希望她不要給她的孩子取名三星或者塔吉特。

Yeah.

是啊。