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  • I'm going to ask and try to answer,

    我要問並且試著回答,

  • in some ways, kind of an uncomfortable question.

    從某種角度來說,敏感的問題。

  • Both civilians, obviously, and soldiers

    顯然,不管是百姓還是士兵

  • suffer in war;

    都深受戰爭之苦;

  • I don't think any civilian has ever missed

    我不認為有哪位平民百姓會想念

  • the war that they were subjected to.

    曾經經歷過的戰爭。

  • I've been covering wars for almost 20 years,

    我作戰爭報導 20 年,

  • and one of the remarkable things for me

    有件事讓我感觸很深,

  • is how many soldiers find themselves missing it.

    那就是許多士兵會懷念戰爭。

  • How is it someone can go through

    為什麼有人會

  • the worst experience imaginable,

    在如此慘烈的經歷後,

  • and come home, back to their home,

    返回故土、回到家,

  • and their family, their country, and miss the war?

    重回自己的家庭、國家,卻又懷念戰爭?

  • How does that work? What does it mean?

    這是為什麼?又意味什麼?

  • We have to answer that question,

    我們必須回答這個問題,

  • because if we don't, it'll be impossible

    因為若非如此,我們不可能

  • to bring soldiers back

    將士兵帶回到

  • to a place in society where they belong,

    他們所屬的社會中。

  • and I think it'll also be impossible to stop war,

    我們將無法阻止戰爭,

  • if we don't understand how that mechanism works.

    除非我們明白背後的道理。

  • The problem is that war

    問題在於,戰爭這檔事,

  • does not have a simple, neat truth,

    沒有一個簡單明瞭的真理可言,

  • one simple, neat truth.

    完全沒有。

  • Any sane person hates war,

    有理智的人都厭惡戰爭、

  • hates the idea of war,

    厭惡戰爭的概念、

  • wouldn't want to have anything to do with it,

    不想和戰爭扯上關係,

  • doesn't want to be near it, doesn't want to know about it.

    不想接觸也不想知道。

  • That's a sane response to war.

    這是對戰爭的正常反應。

  • But if I asked all of you in this room,

    但如果我問在座的各位,

  • who here has paid money

    有沒有花過錢

  • to go to a cinema

    去電影院

  • and be entertained by a Hollywood war movie,

    看好萊塢戰爭片當作娛樂,

  • most of you would probably raise your hands.

    多數人應該都會舉手。

  • That's what's so complicated about war.

    戰爭就是如此複雜。

  • And trust me, if a room full of peace-loving people

    如果一群和平愛好者

  • finds something compelling about war,

    都可以感受戰爭吸引人之處,

  • so do 20-year-old soldiers

    更不用說受過專門訓練、

  • who have been trained in it, I promise you.

    血氣方剛的 20 歲小伙子。

  • That's the thing that has to be understood.

    我們必須明白這一點。

  • I've covered war for about 20 years, as I said,

    我作戰爭報導 20 年,

  • but my most intense experiences in combat

    在戰地最深刻的記憶當數

  • were with American soldiers in Afghanistan.

    和阿富汗的美國士兵共處的那段時光。

  • I've been in Africa, the Middle East,

    我去過非洲、中東,

  • Afghanistan in the '90s,

    90 年代去過阿富汗,

  • but it was with American soldiers in 2007, 2008,

    但和美國士兵一起的經歷是 2007、2008 年。

  • that I was confronted with

    當時,我參與了一場

  • very intense combat.

    非常激烈的戰役。

  • I was in a small valley called the Korengal Valley

    我當時在一個叫卡林哥的谷地,

  • in eastern Afghanistan.

    位於東阿富汗。

  • It was six miles long.

    谷地有六英里長。

  • There were 150 men of Battle Company in that valley,

    在那有 150 人的戰鬥連隊。

  • and for a while, while I was there,

    曾有那麼一陣子, 我還在那的時候,

  • almost 20 percent of all the combat

    阿富汗全境的戰爭

  • in all of Afghanistan was happening

    有百分之二十

  • in those six miles.

    就發生在這六英里內。

  • A hundred and fifty men were absorbing

    150 名士兵承受著

  • almost a fifth of the combat for all of NATO forces

    北約在阿富汗五分之一的戰鬥,

  • in the country, for a couple months.

    為期數月。

  • It was very intense.

    戰爭非常激烈。

  • I spent most of my time at a small outpost

    我大部分的時間在一個

  • called Restrepo.

    叫雷斯特雷波的小哨站度過。

  • It was named after the platoon medic

    這名稱是為紀念一位醫護兵,

  • that had been killed about two months into the deployment.

    他被部署到戰地兩個月就犧牲了。

  • It was a few plywood B-huts

    哨站是個膠合板搭成的簡陋兵舍,

  • clinging to a side of a ridge,

    依著山脊的一側而建,

  • and sandbags, bunkers, gun positions,

    還有沙袋、掩體、散兵坑。

  • and there were 20 men up there

    那裡有 20 個人,

  • of Second Platoon, Battle Company.

    隸屬戰鬥連第二排。

  • I spent most of my time up there.

    我在那度過大部分的時間。

  • There was no running water.

    沒有流動水源。

  • There was no way to bathe.

    洗澡是奢望。

  • The guys were up there for a month at a time.

    士兵們在那一待就是一個月。

  • They never even got out of their clothes.

    他們甚至衣服都不脫。

  • They fought. The worked.

    戰鬥、出任務、

  • They slept in the same clothes.

    睡覺都穿同一套衣服。

  • They never took them off, and at the end of the month,

    他們從不脫衣服,到月底,

  • they went back down to the company headquarters,

    他們回到總部時,

  • and by then, their clothes were unwearable.

    身上的衣服都不能穿了。

  • They burned them and got a new set.

    他們就燒掉它,領一套新的。

  • There was no Internet. There was no phone.

    那裡沒有網路、沒有電話、

  • There was no communication with the outside world up there.

    沒有對外的聯繫、

  • There was no cooked food.

    沒有現做的食物、

  • There was nothing up there

    沒有任何

  • that young men typically like:

    年輕人喜歡的東西:

  • no cars, no girls, no television, nothing

    沒車、沒妞、沒電視,什麼都沒有。

  • except combat.

    除了戰鬥。

  • Combat they did learn to like.

    他們因此被訓練成喜歡戰鬥。

  • I remember one day, it was a very hot day

    我記得有次,一個大熱天,

  • in the spring,

    還是春天,

  • and we hadn't been in a fight

    我們已經沒事做

  • in a couple of weeks, maybe.

    大概幾星期時間了。

  • Usually, the outpost was attacked,

    哨站通常都會遭受攻擊,

  • and we hadn't seen any combat in a couple of weeks,

    但是當時已經幾週沒遇到攻擊了,

  • and everyone was just stunned

    每個人都閒得發慌、

  • with boredom and heat.

    熱得發昏。

  • And I remember the lieutenant walking past me

    我記得一個中尉從我身邊走過,

  • sort of stripped to the waist.

    打著赤膊。

  • It was incredibly hot.

    當時真的很熱。

  • Stripped to the waist, walked past me muttering,

    他光著膀子走過,咕噥著:

  • "Oh God, please someone attack us today."

    「天哪,來次襲擊吧!」

  • That's how bored they were.

    他們已經無聊到不行了。

  • That's war too, is a lieutenant saying,

    這也是戰爭的一部分,就像個中尉說:

  • "Please make something happen

    「拜託給我們點事做,

  • because we're going crazy."

    不然我們要瘋了。」

  • To understand that,

    要理解他們的想法,

  • you have to, for a moment,

    你必須暫時

  • think about combat not morally --

    以非道德的角度思考一下戰爭。

  • that's an important job to do

    這很重要。

  • but for a moment, don't think about it morally,

    只是暫時地,不從道德角度,

  • think about it neurologically.

    而是從神經學的角度。

  • Let's think about what happens in your brain

    大家想一下,你在戰鬥中,

  • when you're in combat.

    你的腦子裡會發生什麼事?

  • First of all, the experience

    首先,這種體驗

  • is very bizarre, it's a very bizarre one.

    是很奇異的,簡直非同尋常。

  • It's not what I had expected.

    是我從來沒預料到的。

  • Usually, you're not scared.

    通常你並不會感到害怕。

  • I've been very scared in combat,

    戰鬥時我也曾感到非常害怕過,

  • but most of the time when I was out there,

    但大多數時候我在那,

  • I wasn't scared.

    是不害怕的。

  • I was very scared beforehand

    去之前害怕過,

  • and incredibly scared afterwards,

    回來之後也害怕,

  • and that fear that comes afterwards can last years.

    這種恐懼能持續好幾年。

  • I haven't been shot at in six years,

    我已有六年沒在槍林彈雨下,

  • and I was woken up very abruptly this morning

    但今早我猛然驚醒,

  • by a nightmare that I was being strafed by aircraft,

    夢到我被戰機掃射。

  • six years later.

    都六年了。

  • I've never even been strafed by aircraft,

    我甚至沒被戰機掃射過,

  • and I was having nightmares about it.

    但我卻會做這樣的惡夢。

  • Time slows down.

    時間慢下來、

  • You get this weird tunnel vision.

    視野變得狹窄、

  • You notice some details very, very, very accurately

    異常敏銳地注意到一些細節

  • and other things drop out.

    而其他事被忽略。

  • It's almost a slightly altered state of mind.

    某種角度來說,改變人的心智。

  • What's happening in your brain

    大腦開始作動,

  • is you're getting an enormous amount of adrenaline

    腎上腺素被大量分泌,

  • pumped through your system.

    流經你的全身。

  • Young men will go to great lengths

    年輕人為了獲得這體驗,

  • to have that experience.

    可以做出許多瘋狂的事。

  • It's wired into us.

    這是個內建在身體的

  • It's hormonally supported.

    荷爾蒙調控機制。

  • The mortality rate for young men in society

    社會上,年輕男性的死亡率

  • is six times what it is for young women

    是年輕女性的六倍。

  • from violence and from accidents,

    死因是暴力或意外。

  • just the stupid stuff that young men do:

    反正就是年輕人愛幹的那些蠢事:

  • jumping off of things they shouldn't jump off of,

    從不該跳的地方跳下去、

  • lighting things on fire they shouldn't light on fire,

    把不該點的東西點著了……

  • I mean, you know what I'm talking about.

    總之,你懂的。

  • They die at six times the rate

    年輕男性的死亡率

  • that young women do.

    是年輕女性的六倍。

  • Statistically, you are safer as a teenage boy,

    從統計數字上來說,一個小伙子

  • you would be safer in the fire department

    待在美國城市的消防隊

  • or the police department in most American cities

    或是警察局,

  • than just walking around the streets of your hometown

    會比在老家的街上閒逛、

  • looking for something to do,

    找事幹,要安全得多。

  • statistically.

    從統計數字上來看的話是如此。

  • You can imagine how that plays out in combat.

    你可以想像這在戰爭中也一樣。

  • At Restrepo, every guy up there was almost killed,

    在雷斯特雷波,幾乎每個人都命懸一線,

  • including me,

    包括我,

  • including my good friend Tim Hetherington,

    包括我的好朋友蒂姆.赫瑟林頓,

  • who was later killed in Libya.

    他後來在利比亞犧牲了。

  • There were guys walking around

    那有很多士兵

  • with bullet holes in their uniforms,

    穿著被子彈打穿的制服,

  • rounds that had cut through the fabric

    子彈打穿了布料,

  • and didn't touch their bodies.

    沒碰到他們的身體。

  • I was leaning against some sandbags one morning,

    一天早上,我靠著沙袋,

  • not much going on, sort of spacing out,

    沒事做,正神遊的時候,

  • and some sand was kicked into the side of,

    一些沙子飛起,

  • sort of hit the side of my face.

    打在我的側臉上。

  • Something hit the side of my face, and I didn't know what it was.

    有東西打在我臉上, 但我不知道是什麽。

  • You have to understand about bullets

    你得知道子彈這東西

  • that they go a lot faster than sound,

    飛得比音速還快。

  • so if someone shoots at you

    如果有人朝你開槍,

  • from a few hundred meters,

    射程幾百米的話,

  • the bullet goes by you, or hits you obviously,

    子彈不是與你擦肩而過,就是擊中你

  • half a second or so before the sound catches up to it.

    而槍聲半秒之後才會傳來。

  • So I had some sand sprayed in the side of my face.

    所以沙子打到我的側臉上,

  • Half a second later, I heard dut-dut-dut-dut-duh.

    半秒之後,我才聽到槍聲。

  • It was machine gun fire.

    是機關槍的聲音。

  • It was the first round, the first burst

    那是第一輪襲擊,

  • of an hour-long firefight.

    槍戰維持了一個小時之久。

  • What had happened was the bullet hit,

    那發子彈濺起沙子,撲在我臉上,

  • a bullet hit three or four inches from the side of my head.

    一發子彈打在離我腦袋三、四吋的地方。

  • Imagine, just think about it, because I certainly did,

    想像一下,其實我後來也的確想了,

  • think about the angle of deviation that saved my life.

    就是這點偏差救了我一命。

  • At 400 meters, it missed me by three inches.

    400 公尺外,它差 3 英吋就要擊中我。

  • Just think about the math on that.

    想想這驚悚的數字。

  • Every guy up there

    每個在那的士兵,

  • had some experience like that,

    都有類似的經驗,

  • at least once, if not many times.

    如果不是幾次,至少也有一次。

  • The boys are up there for a year.

    小伙子們在那待了一年,

  • They got back.

    然後回家。

  • Some of them got out of the Army

    有些人退伍回家,

  • and had tremendous psychological problems when they got home.

    心理上還有嚴重的問題。

  • Some of them stayed in the Army

    有些人留在軍隊,

  • and were more or less okay, psychologically.

    心理狀況稍微好些。

  • I was particularly close to a guy named Brendan O'Byrne.

    我和叫布蘭登.歐布萊恩 的小伙子走很近。

  • I'm still very good friends with him.

    我們仍是好朋友。

  • He came back to the States. He got out of the Army.

    他回美國之後離開了部隊。

  • I had a dinner party one night.

    有次,我舉辦晚宴,

  • I invited him,

    邀請了他。

  • and he started talking with a woman,

    晚宴上他和一位女士交談,

  • one of my friends,

    也是我的朋友,

  • and she knew how bad it had been out there,

    她知道戰地生活的險惡,

  • and she said, "Brendan,

    她說:「布蘭登,

  • is there anything at all that you miss about

    在阿富汗打仗,

  • being out in Afghanistan, about the war?"

    有沒有什麽讓你懷念的?」

  • And he thought about it quite a long time,

    他想了很久,

  • and finally he said, "Ma'am, I miss almost all of it."

    最後說:「女士,我懷念那裡的一切。」

  • And he's one of the most traumatized people

    他是我見過,在那場戰爭中,

  • I've seen from that war.

    受創最嚴重的人之一。

  • "Ma'am, I miss almost all of it."

    「女士,我懷念那裡的一切。」

  • What is he talking about?

    這究竟意味著什麼?

  • He's not a psychopath.

    他不是精神病患、

  • He doesn't miss killing people.

    不懷念殺人、

  • He's not crazy. He doesn't miss getting shot at

    沒有瘋、不喜歡被槍射、

  • and seeing his friends get killed.

    不希望戰友犧牲。

  • What is it that he misses? We have to answer that.

    那他懷念的是什麽? 這問題我們必須回答。

  • If we're going to stop war, we have to answer that question.

    想阻止戰爭發生, 我們必須回答這個問題。

  • I think what he missed is brotherhood.

    我認為,他懷念的是袍澤之情。

  • He missed, in some ways,

    從某種角度來說,他懷念的

  • the opposite of killing.

    是殺戮的反面,

  • What he missed was connection

    是他與其他士兵之間的

  • to the other men he was with.

    情感聯繫。

  • Now, brotherhood is different from friendship.

    這裡的袍澤之情不同於友誼。

  • Friendship happens in society, obviously.

    友誼多見於社會上,

  • The more you like someone,

    你愈喜歡一個人,

  • the more you'd be willing to do for them.

    愈情願為他付出。

  • Brotherhood has nothing to do

    但是袍澤之情,

  • with how you feel about the other person.

    與對他人的感覺無關。

  • It's a mutual agreement in a group

    那是群體中的共識,

  • that you will put the welfare of the group,

    大家都會把群體的福祉、

  • you will put the safety of everyone in the group

    群體中他人的安危,

  • above your own.

    置於自身安危之上。

  • In effect, you're saying,

    實際上相當於說:

  • "I love these other people more than I love myself."

    「我愛他人勝過愛自己。」

  • Brendan was a team leader

    布蘭登是一個隊長,

  • in command of three men,

    手下有三名士兵。

  • and the worst day in Afghanistan

    他在阿富汗經歷了最慘痛的一天:

  • He was almost killed so many times.

    他好幾次險些喪生,

  • It didn't bother him.

    但這對他不算什麽。

  • The worst thing that happened to him in Afghanistan

    對他來說最慘痛的是,

  • was one of his men was hit in the head with a bullet

    他的一個手下被子彈射中頭部,

  • in the helmet, knocked him over.

    打到鋼盔,把他震昏了。

  • They thought he was dead.

    他們以為他死了。

  • It was in the middle of a huge firefight.

    當時戰況正酣,

  • No one could deal with it, and a minute later,

    沒人顧得上他,一分鐘之後,

  • Kyle Steiner sat back up

    凱爾.史坦納坐了起來,

  • from the dead, as it were,

    像是復活一樣,

  • because he'd come back to consciousness.

    因為他又恢復了意識。

  • The bullet had just knocked him out.

    子彈只是震昏他。

  • It glanced off the helmet.

    鋼盔擋開了子彈。

  • He remembers people saying,

    他記得,