How are you?

你好嗎？

I am good.

我很好。

Now, obviously.

現在，顯然。

You see, I'm in a vehicle.

你看，我在一輛車上。

Yes, I see this.

是的，我看到了這個。

Now let me lay this out for our viewers.

現在讓我為我們的觀眾闡述一下。

We were supposed to do a very professional zoom interview.

我們本來是要做一個很專業的變焦採訪。

I've been doing them with everybody on then.

我一直在和大家一起做，然後。

Suddenly I have the scam expert on the show, and I hear Oh, there's a problem with the zoom.

忽然間，我在節目中請來了詐騙專家，我聽到哦，變焦有問題。

She doesn't have WiFi.

她沒有WiFi。

And the next thing I know, about half a hour later, you're in your car.

接下來，我知道，大約半小時後，你在你的車上。

This feels like a scam.

這感覺像個騙局。

This feels like a scam to me.

我覺得這像是一個騙局。

Honestly, it is, Conan, you know, my office is my car.

老實說，是的，柯南，你知道，我的辦公室就是我的車。

This is where I dio businesses.

這是我dio企業的地方。

This, um so suspicious.

這，嗯好可疑。

If I sort of God, if I didn't know any better, I would say, Oh, you're you're somehow grifting me right now.

如果我有點神，如果我不知道更好的，我會說，哦，你是你現在不知怎麼騙我。

That's what's happening.

就是這樣的情況。

It's a little bit.

這是一點。

I mean cold.

我的意思是冷。

I told you you could come to my office if we weren't social distancing and you'd be right here in the passenger seat.

我告訴過你，如果我們不是社交疏遠的話，你可以來我的辦公室，你就會坐在副駕駛座上。

That's where that's where I do my paperwork.

我就是在那裡做文書工作的。

When I first heard about your podcast, I thought that you would be, I don't know, making fun of people that scam or putting them down?

當我第一次聽到你的播客時，我以為你會，我不知道，取笑那些騙人的人，或者把他們放倒？

That is not the case.

事實並非如此。

You have great respect for people who scam.

你對詐騙的人很尊重。

You think it's an art, don't you?

你認為這是一門藝術，對嗎？

I dio your these air con artist.

我看你的這些空調藝術家。

You know I love robbery.

你知道我喜歡搶劫。

I love fraud.

我喜歡欺詐。

I just don't want to see people get hurt.

我只是不想看到有人受傷。

So if you're scamming a big bad guy or, you know, evil corporations and I'm, like, totally on your side.

所以，如果你在騙一個大壞蛋，或者，你知道，邪惡的公司，我一樣，完全站在你這邊。

But if you're hurting people, I'm not into that.

但如果你要傷害別人，我不喜歡這樣。

Like what you like to be clear is you like the good kind of fraud, the good kind of felony, the good kind of corrupt deception.

像你喜歡清楚的是你喜歡好的詐騙，好的重罪，好的貪汙欺騙。

That's the kind you like.

這是你喜歡的那種。

Yes.

是的，我知道

And believe it or not, there is a good kind.

信不信由你，還有一種好的。

I mean, our government is running so many scams on us.

我的意思是，我們的政府正在運行 這麼多的騙局對我們。

What is a parking ticket?

什麼是停車罰單？

You put your car somewhere and then some hustlers from the government take it away and make you pay to get it back.

你把你的車放在某個地方，然後政府的一些金光黨把它拿走，讓你花錢把它拿回來。

It's a ski.

這是一個滑雪。

Yeah.

是啊。

So you think all anytime you're car gets towed, You think that's a scam?

所以，你認為所有的時間 你的車被拖， 你認為這是一個騙局？

Yes, it is robbery.

是的，這是搶劫。

And I've been told 12 times.

而且我已經被告知了12次。

And that is not an exaggeration.

而這並不誇張。

You know what I think?

你知道我怎麼想的嗎？

There's a e.

有一個e。

Think there's a 50% chance you will get towed during this interview.

認為在這次面試中，你有50%的機會會被拖走。

We will see them first, put a boot on your car, and then you're going to get jacked up and you're gonna be taken out.

我們會先看到他們，給你的車裝上一個靴子，然後你會被頂起來，你會被帶出去。

Right?

對吧？

And you're just gonna keep you in the interview?

你就打算讓你繼續接受採訪？

I will.

我會的

The car will be moving, but I will continue to do.

車會動，但我會繼續做。

The car will be moving backwards, and then you'll end the interview at an impound lot.

車子會向後移動，然後你會在扣押場結束面試。

So, you know, until you brought it up, I didn't think about it, But it is a perfect scam.

所以，你知道，直到你提出來，我才想到，但這是一個完美的騙局。

They put a ticket on your car because they say what?

他們給你的車開罰單是因為他們說什麼？

They're gonna clean the street.

他們會清理街道。

Um, and then they take the car.

嗯，然後他們就把車開走了。

Then you have to go and pay to get a car that you already own back.

那你就得去花錢把已經擁有的車買回來。

Yes.

是的，我知道

So it begins with the street cleaning.

所以就從打掃街道開始。

You think the street cleaning the scam it is.

你以為街道清潔是騙局嗎？

I've seen street.

我見過的街道。

Okay, so I encourage people, especially in Los Angeles, during cove it when they stopped giving tickets for street cleaning like, look outside.

好吧，所以我鼓勵人們， 尤其是在洛杉磯， 當他們停止給門票 街道清潔一樣，看看外面。

Is your street much dirtier?

你的街道是不是髒了很多？

Is it?

是嗎？

I don't think so.

我不這麼認為。

I've seen street cleaners give tickets after the street cleaners already passed and clean the street.

我見過街道保潔員已經過了，打掃完街道後再給罰單的。

I'm like, No, that's not right.

我想，不，這是不對的。

Right?

對吧？

They gotta make that money.

他們得賺那筆錢。

It's all a scam.

這都是騙局。

Now.

現在就去

You see, scams because of this is a passion of yours.

你看，詐騙，因為這是你的熱情。

You see them everywhere, right?

你到處都能看到他們，對吧？

You see, scams everywhere.

你看，到處都是騙局。

You see scams when you go to church, I'm told.

我告訴你，你去教堂的時候會看到騙局。

Yes, I go to a scam church, Uh, that I love very much.

是的，我去了一個騙人的教堂，呃，我非常喜歡。

Like, for example, like there definitely has been, like, a sermon where our pastor will come out.

比如說，比如說，比如說肯定有，比如說，我們的牧師會出來講道。

I will not say his name because child e don't want trouble, but they'll come out and I'll be like, Hello, congregation.

我不會說他的名字，因為孩子e不想惹麻煩，但他們會出來，我會像，你好，眾人。

I need you all to pre order my book in his name A man.

我需要你們以他的名義預購我的書，一個男人。

And, you know, I pre ordered the book.

而且，你知道，我預先訂購了這本書。

Um I also send my tides via text and Venmo, and they remind me, uh, yeah, so there's, you know, there is a V i P section.

嗯，我也通過簡訊和Venmo發送我的潮汐，他們會提醒我，嗯，是的，所以有，你知道，有一個V i P部分。

Wait.

等一下

You have a V i p section in your church?

你的教堂裡有V i P部門嗎？

Yes.

是的，我知道

Is it much?

多嗎？

Is it much nicer?

是不是好很多？

Is it like a sports box at a stadium where you get to have free hot dogs and stuff?

是不是像體育場的運動包廂一樣，可以吃到免費的熱狗什麼的？

What's so great about the V?

V型車有什麼好的？

I p section.

I p部分。

Well, one, It's in the front, and it's a pretty big church.

嗯，一，它在前面，這是一個相當大的教堂。

Um, it's not.

嗯，它不是。

The seats are quite different.

座位是完全不同的。

They just have, like, a little velvet rope to keep, you know, the Normie.

他們只是有一樣，一個小天鵝絨繩子 保持，你知道，諾米。

Jesus folks out.

天啊，夥計們都出去了。

Um, right now, I do not sit in V i p at church, but it is a goal of mine.

嗯，現在，我不坐V i P在教堂， 但它是我的一個目標。

Okay, So basically, yeah, it doesn't feel like that's what Christ was all about was let the people that are paying the most come to the front that that doesn't quite seem like that was the message.

好吧，所以基本上，是的，它不覺得那是什麼基督是所有關於 讓人們付出最多的人走到前面，這似乎並不完全像那是資訊。

You know, Jesus was turning water into wine, so I would say that's bottle service.

你知道，耶穌是把水變成酒，所以我說這是瓶服務。

You're right.

你是對的

He probably did have a bunch of scams going.

他可能確實有一堆的騙局。

Now that you think about it, you know, this guy's he was dead, but now he's alive.

現在你想想，你知道，這傢伙的... ...他是死了，但現在他還活著。

Lazarus.

拉撒路

Really?

真的嗎？

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

We have to look into that.

我們必須研究一下。

A lot of questions we have for Jesus, and then he skips down.

我們有很多問題要問耶穌，然後他就跳下去了。