Name: 託尼出選2020小組。選舉之夜的亮點 (Tooning Out Election 2020 Panel: Election Night Highlights)
Uploaded: 2020-11-07T18:57:02.000Z
Duration: 8 min 14 s

Yeah, we begin with the dinner party turned flaming soup can fight.

是啊，我們從晚宴開始，變成了火焰湯罐大戰。

That is the ongoing presidential election.

關係子句

The tuning out The News Decision desk, which is my 19 year old nephew playing Nintendo switch with CNN on in the background, projects that this election is too close to call at this hour.

調出《新聞決定》臺，這是我19歲的侄子在玩任天堂switch，背景中開著CNN，投射出這次選舉在這個時候太接近了。

The only thing we know for certain is that being hopped up on steroids and crawling with disease is how you bring it all home in South Florida.

我們唯一知道的是，被跳上類固醇和爬滿疾病是你在南佛羅里達州如何把這一切帶回家。

Now, Michael, your thoughts on tonight other than Nate Silver is a fraud.

現在，邁克爾，你對今晚的看法... ...除了內特-西爾弗是個金光黨之外，還有什麼？

If you were reading the polls, you thought Joe Biden had a double digit lead and, you know, was on the cusp of a landslide.

如果你看了民調 你會認為喬・拜登有兩位數的領先優勢 而且即將取得壓倒性的優勢。

But as we speak, this election could go either way.

但就在我們說話的時候，這場選舉可能會有兩種結果。

Um, Biden can still pull this out if he maintains his lead in Arizona, but there are a lot of wild cards out there.

如果拜登保持在亞利桑那州的領先優勢，他仍有可能成功，但有很多不確定因素。

The only thing Biden's pulling out is a tooth.

After he takes a bite of loser cupcake, Everyone kept saying We're better than Donald Trump, and I know we were not, and we never will be.

在他咬了一口失敗者紙杯蛋糕後，每個人都在說我們比唐納德-特朗普更好，我知道我們不是，而且我們永遠不會是。

I mean, when I saw Nate Silver saying Trump was gonna get thumped, I felt so alone.

我是說，當我看到內特-西爾弗說特朗普會被揍的時候，我覺得很孤獨。

But now I feel seen, and I didn't I didn't even have to do a striptease in front of my dad's e.

但現在我覺得被看到了，我沒有我甚至沒有做一個脫衣舞在我爸爸的e面前。

Think of what we're discovering tonight is that this country might be weirder and more messed up than even Trump gave it credit for.

想想今晚我們發現的是，這個國家可能比特朗普給它的印象更詭異、更混亂。

Bottom line is now that Joe Biden is practice three different times, he's definitely going to bring it on home in 2024.

一句話，現在喬-拜登是三番五次的練習，2024年肯定要帶回家。

You said it now, Tory, could you pull the curtain back on what happened tonight and show me the news of the nation?

你現在說了，托里，你能不能把今晚發生的事情拉開帷幕，讓我看看全國的新聞？

All right, so just for some background for those of you at home, this is what America looks like from space.

好吧，所以只是為了一些背景 對於那些你在家裡， 這是什麼美國看起來像從空間。

The good news for the Trump campaign is he has won Florida Obama campaign there but failed to convince voters he was actually Joe Biden.

特朗普競選活動的好消息是，他已經贏得了佛羅里達州奧巴馬在那裡的競選活動，但未能說服選民他實際上是喬拜登。

But it's all coming to down to the industrial Midwest, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan, Wisconsin and Minnesota.

但這一切都將降臨到中西部工業地區，賓夕法尼亞州，俄亥俄州，密歇根州，威斯康星州和明尼蘇達州。

In other words, guys who unwind by drinking beers and fantasizing about holding a trial in the woods for their governor.

換句話說，那些通過喝啤酒和幻想在樹林裡為他們的州長舉行審判來放鬆的傢伙。

邁克爾，現在回想起來，是更高的。

Turn out a better thing for electorate with putrid thoughts and intentions.

用腐朽的思想和意圖為選民翻出更好的東西。

Well, look, you know, as a a za democracy, we want as many people to vote Aziz possible.

好了，你看，你知道，作為一個za民主， 我們希望儘可能多的人投票阿齊茲。

Uh, that's the premise behind our system.

The big losers right now are the pollsters.

Um, yeah, They obviously once again misled us into thinking this election was in the bag for Biden.

顯然他們又一次誤導了我們 讓我們以為這次選舉是拜登的囊中之物了

I got to say, if you consider it's context in the global community, it should actually come as no surprise that America is taking an entire week to do math that takes every other developed country.

我得說，如果你考慮到它在全球社會的背景，其實美國用整整一週的時間來做其他發達國家都需要的數學，也就不奇怪了。

One day now I'm gonna have toe work extra hours in my little rascals.

總有一天，我得在我的小流氓身上加班。

We're going to keep harassing my poor little, teeny, tiny husband.

我們要繼續騷擾我那可憐的，十幾歲的小丈夫。

Just yesterday, they had him in a tire rolling down Main Street.

就在昨天，他們讓他在輪胎裡沿著主幹道滾動。

When I got back home a poor, teeny, tiny boo Joe Biden took a break from wondering when it was too late to have an actual campaign message to deliver these remarks.

當我回到家的時候，一個可憐的、十幾歲的、小小的噓聲喬-拜登休息了一下，不知道什麼時候才有一個實際的競選資訊來發表這些言論。

Gonna take time to count the votes were gonna win Pennsylvania.

要花點時間來計算選票，本來要贏賓夕法尼亞州的。

You know, we could know the results as early as tomorrow morning, but it may take a little longer.

你知道，我們可以知道結果 早在明天早上， 但它可能需要一點時間。

As I've said all along, it's not my place or Donald Trump's place to declare Who's one of this election?

正如我一直說的，這不是我或唐納德-特朗普的地方，宣佈誰是這次選舉的一個？

That's the decision of the American people.

Oh, yeah, Donald Trump would never want to put himself over the American people.

哦，是的，唐納德-特朗普絕不會想把自己置於美國人民之上。

Then President Trump lead a room full of people about to die from Koven know that democracy was also about to die.

然後特朗普總統帶領一屋子即將死於科文的人知道，民主也即將死亡。

We were getting ready to win this election.

我們已經準備好贏得這次選舉。

Frankly, we did win this election, so we'll be going to the U.

坦率地說，我們確實贏得了這次選舉，所以我們會去美國。

We already have 10 hell yeah, he's doing it!

我們已經有10個了 是的，他正在做！

Get this man a Jaguar on a leash in a 10 ft tall golden toilet.

給這個人弄來一隻美洲虎，拴在10英尺高的金馬桶裡。

Now the ratification of this election could come down to just nine quote figures who pledged to diet work for more.

現在，這次選舉的準許可能只剩下9個報價數字，他們承諾為更多的人節食工作。

We go to Brian men outside the Supreme Court.

我們去布萊恩男人外最高法院。

I am here at the Supreme Court, where eye witnesses just spotted justice Brett Kavanaugh, entering alone, carrying a cheese whiz squeeze bottle in a 12 pack of Foster's King cans in leak text to the other justices, he said Quote, I got drank, says and cheese.

我在這裡的最高法院，目擊者剛剛發現司法佈雷特-卡瓦諾，獨自進入，攜帶奶酪鞭子擠壓瓶在12包福斯特王罐頭在洩漏文本給其他法官，他說報價，我得到了喝，說和奶酪。

If anyone's trying to chill and steal that shit for my King Trump, let's shut out Opinions and bit torrent Faces of Death three and then five minutes went by.

如果有人想冷落我王特朗普，偷那玩意兒，那就把《意見》關了吧，比特洪流《死亡面孔》三，然後五分鐘就過去了。

That is a startling report about the dangers of dairy and premium lager.

這是一份關於乳製品和高級啤酒危害的驚人報告。

Now, with the election still in the balance, Trump's inner circle is making arrangements in case of a loss, with more on their next steps.

現在，大選還未結束，特朗普的心腹們正在為萬一失利做安排，他們的下一步行動將有更多內容。

I'm outside the offices of HarperCollins Publishing, where Trump staff holdouts are lining up to pitch.

我現在在哈珀-柯林斯出版公司的辦公室外，特朗普的幕僚們正在那裡排隊投稿。

Tell all books about the principled stands they definitely took behind the scenes.

把他們在背後肯定採取的原則立場告訴所有的書。

There's unprecedented how I work to dismantle the presidency from within by doing everything he asked to me by John Ratcliffe, the wolf of White House.

有史以來，我是如何努力從內部瓦解總統職位的，做他要求我做的一切，白宮的狼約翰-拉特克利夫。

How one man stood up to ah heartless family separation policy by carrying it out with a frown Oh, and John Bolton's await.

一個人是如何站起來的啊無情的家庭分離政策通過執行它的眉頭哦，和約翰-博爾頓的等待。

還有第二間房是發生在那裡的。

The Trump anecdotes I didn't get to monetize in my first book.

特朗普的軼事，我在第一本書中沒有來得及貨幣化。

Lindsey Graham has pulled off the unthinkable.

林賽-格雷厄姆完成了不可思議的事情。

共和黨人在南卡羅來納州贏了。

Graham made a strong case to his constituents that if they send him back to Washington, they can keep leering at his descent into the depths of servile fawning for a dictator.

格雷厄姆向他的選民們提出了一個強有力的理由，即如果他們把他送回華盛頓，他們就可以繼續對他為一個獨裁者陷入奴性諂媚的深淵而發笑。

I love that, perhaps also, Mitch McConnell has won reelection despite 88 million pouring into the campaign of Amy McGrath.

我喜歡，或許也是，米奇-麥康奈爾已經贏得了連任，儘管8800萬投入到艾米-麥格拉斯的競選活動中。

If Onley Democrats had just donated another 88 million, she might have lost by a little less.

如果昂利民主黨人再捐出8800萬，她可能就會少輸一點。

It was a nail biting double digit win for Lindsey Graham.

林賽-格雷厄姆贏得了一場勢均力敵的兩位數勝利。

更多的，我們去趾獺，琳榮譽。

It is a gorgeous night in South Carolina, where a very nervous Senator Lindsey Graham was last seen sprinting up two cars at stoplights, telling motorists that just three more bucks can get him one last targeted Facebook ad.

這是南卡羅來納州一個絢麗的夜晚，人們最後一次看到非常緊張的參議員林賽-格雷厄姆在紅綠燈下衝上兩輛汽車，告訴駕車者，只要再加三塊錢就能讓他最後一次有針對性的Facebook廣告。

Then he got his little hand stuck up a vending machine and was crying and soiling himself, saying, First, my office is in jeopardy now.

然後，他的小手被自動售貨機卡住了，哭著弄髒了自己的衣服，說：第一，我的辦公室現在岌岌可危。

We turn now to the House, where the Democrats will hold the majority.

我們現在轉向眾議院，民主黨將在那裡佔據多數。

All but guaranteeing Nancy Pelosi will remain a political liability for the Democrats for another two years.

這一切都保證了南希-佩洛西將在未來兩年內繼續成為民主黨的政治累贅。

保守黨，你在房子裡看到了什麼？

The real story is that Marjorie Taylor Green has become the first openly Cunanan candidate to win a seat in U.

真正的故事是，馬喬裡-泰勒-格林已經成為第一個公開的庫南候選人，贏得了U的席位。

All but guaranteeing Republican leadership will make a ranking leader of the science committee.

所有的一切，但保證共和黨領導層將使科學委員會的等級領導人。

And that's a glass ceiling in its own way, in line of a possible by them presidency.

而這本身就是一個玻璃天花板，符合一個可能由他們擔任的總統。

Congressional Republicans are now grappling with how to continue to inflict harm on Americans.

國會共和黨人現在正在努力解決如何繼續對美國人造成傷害。

更多內容，我們去找邦妮-戴維斯。

Hi, I'm eavesdropping like a little else fudge elf on a meeting of congressional Republicans where they're preparing for demotic democratic sorry rule by relearning how to pretend to give us about the budget, according to my sources.

嗨，據我的消息來源，我像個小精靈一樣在偷聽國會共和黨人的會議，在那裡他們正準備通過重新學習如何假裝給我們提供關於預算的資訊，為demotic民主的遺憾統治做準備。

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託尼出選2020小組。選舉之夜的亮點 (Tooning Out Election 2020 Panel: Election Night Highlights)

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