WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."

歡迎來到 "深夜秀"。

I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

我是你的主播，史蒂芬-科爾伯特。

I'M HERE WITH MY FRIENDS MARK AND CHRIS.

我在這裡與我的朋友馬克和克里斯。

SCOTT'S OVER THERE.

斯科特在那裡。

EVIE'S RIGHT OVER THERE.

EVIE就在那邊。

WE'RE TAPING THIS JUST A LITTLE WHILE AFTER DONALD TRUMP WALKED

我們正在錄製這只是一小會兒後，唐納德-特朗普走了。

INTO THE WHITE HOUSE BRIEFING ROOM AND TRIED TO POISON

進入白宮簡報室，並試圖毒害。

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY.

美國民主。

THAT'S WHY I'M NOT SITTING DOWN YET.

這就是為什麼我還沒有坐下來。

I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE IT YET.

我只是不覺得喜歡它了。

THAT'S ALSO WHY I'M DRESSED FOR A FUNERAL.

這也是為什麼我穿著葬禮的衣服。

BECAUSE DONALD TRUMP TRIED REALLY HARD TO KILL SOMETHING

因為唐納德-特朗普竭力想殺死一些東西。

TONIGHT.

今晚。

AROUND 7:00, THE PRESIDENT CAME OUT INTO THE WHITE HOUSE

7點左右，總統走出白宮。

BRIEFING ROOM AND LIED FOR 15 MINUTES.

簡報室和謊言了15分鐘。

JUST NONSENSE ABOUT ILLEGAL VOTE DUMPS AND CORRUPT ELECTION

關於非法選票和腐敗選舉的胡說八道

OFFICIALS AND SECRET DEMOCRATIC CABALS AND, I DON'T KNOW

官員和祕密的民主黨派，我不知道。

LONG-FORM BIRTH CERTIFICATES, PROBABLY.

長式出生證，可能是。

IT'S ALL THE SAME.

這都是一樣的。

IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT IT -- THAT JOE BIDEN WAS GETTING

如果你不知道，喬-比登被抓了

CLOSE TO 270, DONALD TRUMP JUST PROVIDED ALL THE PROOF YOU WILL

接近270，唐納德-特朗普剛剛提供了所有的證據，你會。

EVER NEED.

永遠需要。

TRUE STORY: I'M WEARING BLACK, BECAUSE I WAS GETTING DRESSED

真實的故事：我穿著黑色的衣服，因為我在穿衣服。

THIS AFTERNOON AND I THOUGHT, "HE MIGHT TRY SOME SHENANIGANS

今天下午，我想，"他可能會嘗試一些shananigans的。

AND IT MIGHT BE FITTING TO TELL JOKES WHILE WEARING SOMETHING

穿著這樣的衣服講笑話也許很合適

SOMBER IF HE GOES DOWN THAT DARK PATH."

"如果他沿著那條黑暗的道路走下去的話"

AND I'M NO PROPHET.

我也不是什麼預言家

IT'S JUST, HE'S SO PREDICTABLE.

只是，他太容易預測了。

FOR WEEKS, WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT HOW THERE'D BE A RED

幾周來，我們一直在談論如何有一個紅色的。

MIRAGE, THEN HOW THE OUTSTANDING BIDEN MAIL-IN BALLOTS WOULD

幻覺，那麼出類拔萃的BIDEN郵寄投票會如何呢？

MAYBE LET JOE CATCH UP.

也許讓喬趕上。

AND THAT TRUMP WOULD THEN COME OUT PROBABLY THURSDAY AROUND THE

然後特朗普會在週四左右出場

EVENING NEWS AND PRETEND THAT HE WON AND ACCUSE EVERYONE OF

晚間新聞，並假裝他贏了，並指責每個人的。

CHEATING.

CHEATING.

THE GUY DOESN'T HAVE ANOTHER GEAR.

這傢伙沒有其他的裝備。

GET A NEW ACT!

獲取一個新的行動！

I MEAN, HE SAID THIS STUFF BACK IN 2016!

我是說，他在2016年就說過這句話了!

>> I WILL TOTALLY ACCEPT THE RESULTS OF THIS GREAT AND

>> 我將完全接受這一偉大的和

HISTORIC PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION...

歷史性的總統選舉... ...

IF I WIN.

IF AND WIN。

>> STEPHEN: SO, WE ALL KNEW HE WOULD DO THIS.

>> 所以，我們都知道他會這麼做。

>> STEPHEN: SO, WE ALL KNEW HE WOULD DO THIS.

>> 所以，我們都知道他會這麼做。

WHAT I DID NOT KNOW IS HOW MUCH IT WOULD HURT.

我不知道的是它會有多痛。

I DIDN'T EXPECT THIS TO BREAK MY HEART.

我沒想到這讓我心碎。

FOR HIM TO CAST A DARK SHADOW ON OUR MOST SACRED RIGHT.

因為他給我們最神聖的權利投下了黑暗的陰影。

FROM THE BRIEFING ROOM IN THE WHITE HOUSE-- OUR HOUSE, NOT

從白宮的簡報室 -- 我們的房子，而不是...

HIS-- THAT IS DEVASTATING.

他的... 這是毀滅性的。

THIS IS HEARTBREAKING FOR THE SAME REASON THAT I DIDN'T WANT

這是令人心碎的理由，我不想要同樣的理由。

HIM TO GET COVID, CERTAINLY WHY I WANTED HIM TO SURVIVE, BECAUSE

他去找科維德，我當然希望他能活下來，因為...

HE IS THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

他是美國的總統。

THAT OFFICE MEANS SOMETHING AND THAT OFFICE SHOULD HAVE SOME

該辦公室意味著什麼，該辦公室應該有一些。

SHRED OF DECENCY.

尊嚴的碎片。

NOW, WE KNEW HE WOULD LEAVE A STAIN THERE-- AND NOT JUST FROM

現在，我們知道他將會在這裡留下一個汙點 -- 不僅僅是來自於

HIS BUTT BRONZER-- BECAUSE EVERYTHING HE DID IS NOW

他的屁股青銅器 - 因為他所做的一切現在都是

PRESIDENTIAL BEHAVIOR.

主席的行為：

INCLUDING THIS.

包括這個。

UNLESS-- UNLESS!-- EVERY SINGLE PERSON REJECTS WHAT HE JUST DID.

除非... ... 除非！--每一個人都反對他剛才的行為。

AND HAT MEANS, FOR ALL THE PREDICTABLE BEHAVIOR OF THE LAST

帽子的意思是，對於過去所有可預測的行為

FEW DAYS AND THE LAST FOUR YEARS, RIGHT NOW SOMETHING

幾天和過去的四年，現在的一些事情

UNPREDICTABLE NEEDS TO HAPPEN: REPUBLICANS HAVE TO SPEAK UP --

不可預知的需要發生：共和黨人必須大聲疾呼 -- -- --

ALL OF THEM.

所有的人。

BECAUSE FOR EVIL TO SUCCEED, ALL THATIS NECESSARY IS FOR GOOD

因為邪惡要成功，所有需要的都是善的。

MEN TO DO NOTHING.

男人什麼都不做。

SO SAY SOMETHING RIGHT NOW, REPUBLICANS.

所以現在就說點什麼吧，共和黨人。

NOT LATER, NOT AFTER YOU'VE STUCK YOUR FINGER UP IN THE WIND

不要再晚了，不要在你把手指插進風裡之後。

OR WHEREVER YOU WANT TO PUT IT.

或任何你想放的地方。

RIGHT NOW, IT'S IN YOUR BEST INTEREST.

現在，這是你最好的利益。

YOU ONLY SURVIVED THIS UP UNTIL NOW BECAUSE A LOT OF VOTERS

你到現在還能活下來是因為有很多人投票

DIDN'T WANT TO BELIEVE EVERYTHING THAT WAS OBVIOUS TO

不想相信一切，這是顯而易見的。

SO MANY OF US: THAT DONALD TRUMP IS A FASCIST.

我們中的許多人，唐納德・特朗普是一個法西斯主義者。

AND WHEN IT COMES TO DEMOCRACY VERSUS FASCISM, THERE ARE NOT

當涉及到民主與法西斯的時候，並不存在

FINE PEOPLE ON BOTH SIDES.

兩邊的人都很好。

SO YOU NEED TO CHOOSE: DONALD TRUMP OR THE AMERICAN

所以你需要選擇：唐納德-特朗普還是美國人？

PEOPLE?

人？

THIS IS THE TIME TO GET OFF THE TRUMP TRAIN.

現在是時候離開特朗普的火車了。

BECAUSE HE JUST TOLD YOU WHERE THE TRAIN IS GOING, AND IT'S NOT

因為他剛告訴你火車要去哪裡，而且不是... ...

A PASSENGER TRAIN, BUT HE'LL LOAD YOU ON IT, TOO, SOMEDAY.

一輛客運火車，但他也會在某天把你裝上去的。

IN ABSENCE OF GOOD MEN, HOW ABOUT MITCH MCCONELL?

在沒有好人的情況下，MITCH MCCONELL怎麼樣？

HAS HE SAID ANYTHING?

他說過什麼嗎？

WHAT DOES HE SAY?

他說了什麼？

>> HE DECLINED TO COMMENT.

>> 他拒絕發表意見。

>> Stephen: HE DECLINED TO COMMENT.

>> Stephen:他拒絕發表意見。

OKAY, MITCH McCONNELL HAS DECLINED TO COMMENT.

好吧，MITCH McCONNELL已經拒絕評論 OKAY, MITCH McCONNELL HAS DECLINED to COMMENT.

THE MAXIM OF THE LAW IS: QUI TACET CONSENTIRE.

法律的最高限度是：QUI TACET CONSENTIRE。

WHO IS SILENT, GIVES CONSENT.

誰是沉默的，給予同意。

SO, MITCH WAS LOUD AND CLEAR.

So, MITCH WAS LOUD AND CLEAR. 所以，MITCH的聲音很響亮，很清晰

HE'S OKAY WITH THIS.

他是好的與此。

IT'S NOT EVEN A HARD CALL.

這甚至不是一個艱難的電話。

THIS IS IN YOUR SELF INTEREST TO SUPPORT VOTES BEING COUNTED.

這是為您自身利益考慮，支持計票。

THAT'S HOW YOU GOT YOUR JOBS.

你們就是這樣找到工作的。

I GUESS MITCH MCCONNELL IS SAYING HE WAS REELECTED THROUGH

我猜MITCH MCCONNELL是說他是通過選拔出來的

FRAUDULENT VOTES AS WELL?

欺騙性投票也是如此？

AND HE'S HOLDING ONTO THE SENATE BECAUSE OF FRAUDULENT ELECTIONS

他之所以能保住參議院，是因為選舉舞弊

IN OTHER STATES, AND REPUBLICANS PICKED UP SEATS IN THE HOUSE

在其他州，共和黨人在眾議院中獲得了席位。

BECAUSE OF FRAUDULENT ELECTIONS?

因為欺詐性選舉？

SO, CAST THEM ALL OUT?

所以，把他們都趕出去？

IS THAT WHAT YOUR SILENCE IS SAYING, MITCH MCCONNELL?

你的沉默是在說什麼嗎，MITCH MCCONNELL?

SO AMERICA'S GOING TO COUNT SOMETHING ELSE RIGHT NOW.

所以美國現在要去計算別的東西。

WHO IS WILLING TO SPEAK UP.

誰願意說出來。

WHO IS GOING TO SPEAK UP AGAINST DONALD TRUMP TRYING TO KILL

誰會站出來反對唐納德-特朗普的殺戮？

DEMOCRACY, AND WHO WILL STAY SILENT IN THE

民主，誰會在這個問題上保持沉默？

FACE OF THIS DESPERATE ATTACK ON THE BEDROCK INSTITUTION OF THIS

在這種絕望的攻擊中，本組織的床鋪機構的臉

GREAT NATION.

偉大的國家。

BECAUSE HE JUST ATTACKED THE THING THAT MOST MAKES US GREAT.

因為他剛剛攻擊了最讓我們偉大的東西。

IT'S TIME TO MEAN WHAT ALL YOUR HATS HAVE BEEN YELLING.

現在是時候表達你們所有的帽子一直在喊的意思了。

BY THE WAY, IF DONALD TRUMP IS RIGHT AND JOE BIDEN PULLED THE

順便說一句，如果唐納德-特朗普是對的，而喬-比登拉開了。

STRINGS BEHIND THE SCENES IN REPUBLICAN STATES LIKE ARIZONA

共和黨州（如亞利桑那州）的幕後黑手。

AND GEORGIA, WHILE COORDINATING WITH DEMOCRATIC STATES LIKE

和喬治亞州，同時與民主黨國家協調，如：

PENNSYLVANIA AND NEVADA, AND WISCONSIN AND MICHIGAN, AND

賓夕法尼亞州和內華達州，以及威斯康星州和密歇根州，以及...。

THROWING IN THE RED HERRING OF LETTING THE REPUBLICANS KEEP THE

拋出讓共和黨人保住政權的紅鯡魚。

SENATE AND GAIN SEATS IN THE HOUSE, WHILE JUST BARELY

參議院，並獲得眾議院席位，而僅僅是勉強。

REMOVING DONALD TRUMP?

撤掉唐納德-特朗普？

WOW!

哇！

I MEAN, KUDOS TO THAT LEVEL OF INTERSTATE COORDINATION!

我是說，要為這種程度的州際協調性點贊!

I MEAN, ANYONE WHO COULD ACCOMPLISH THAT MANY THINGS AT

我的意思是，任何人都可以完成這麼多的事情，在這裡。

ONCE WOULD REALLY BE THE PRESIDENT WE NEED DURING A

曾經真的會是我們在這個時代需要的總統。

GLOBAL PANDEMIC.

全球氾濫：

THIS IS WHEN I REALLY WISH I COULD SWEAR.

這時候，我真的希望我可以發誓。

BUT I'LL JUST SAY THIS: WE'RE NOT GOING TO SHOW YOU A SECOND

但我只想說，"我們不會給你看第二部電影"。我們不會再給你看第二部了

OF WHAT THAT SAD, FRIGHTENED FRAUD SAID.

那個可悲的，害怕的金光黨說了什麼。

BECAUSE IT IS POISON, AND I LIKE YOU.

因為它是毒藥，而我喜歡你。

HE CAN SUCK SILENCE.

他可以吮吸沉默。

AND HE CAN SUCK MY FROSTED YUMNUT.

他可以吮吸我的冰糖。

THAT REFERENCE IS GOING TO MAKE SENSE LATER.

這個參考資料以後會有意義的。

STAY WITH ME.

留在我身邊。

AND INSTEAD, I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMEONE DOING THE RIGHT THING.

同時，我想告訴你有人在做正確的事情。

THIS HAPPENED YESTERDAY IN NEVADA.

這發生在昨天在內華達州。

>> AS I MENTIONED, WE ARE NOT PREPARED--

>>正如我所提到的，我們沒有準備好... ...

>> THE BIDEN CRIME FAMILY'S STEALING THE ELECTION!

>> 比登犯罪家族竊取選舉！

THE MEDIA'S COVERING UP!

媒體的掩蓋！

JOE BIDEN CRIME FAMILY'S STEALING THIS ELECTION!

喬-比登犯罪家族偷走了這次選舉！

THE MEDIA'S COVERING UP!

媒體的掩蓋！

JOE BIDEN'S COVERING UP THIS ELECTION.

喬-比登在掩蓋這次選舉。

JOE BIDEN IS COVERING UP THIS ELECTION!

喬-比登在掩蓋這次選舉！

HE'S STEALING IT!

他偷了它！

>> --WHERE WERE WE?

--我們在哪裡？

WHAT WAS THE LAST QUESTION?

最後一個問題是什麼？

( LAUGHTER ) THAT GUY OUT IN FRONT OF THE

（笑）那個傢伙出來在前面的。

MICs I JOE GLORIA, THE REGISTRAR OF CLARK COUNTY,

MICs I JOE GLORIA, 克拉克郡的書記官。

NEVADA.

NEVADA：

HE LET THAT GUY SPEW HIS CRAZY TILL HE WAS TIRED, WATCHED HIM

他讓那個傢伙瘋狂地揮舞著，直到他累了，看著他。

WALK AWAY, AND THEN JOE GLORIA TOOK A DEEP BREATH, AND DID HIS

走了，然後喬-格洛里亞深吸一口氣，並做了他的。

JOB.

工作：

WHICH IS WHAT WE SHOULD ALL DO.

這就是我們應該做的。

STAY COOL.

保持冷靜。

OKAY, NOW LET'S DO THE MONOLOGUE.

好了，現在讓我們做的獨白。

>> BIDEN CRIME FAMILY, BIDEN CRIME FAMILY...

>> 比登犯罪家族，比登犯罪家族... ...

BIDEN CRIME FAMILY...

比登犯罪家族... ...

BIDEN CRIME FAMILY...

比登犯罪家族... ...

BIDEN CRIME FAMILY...

比登犯罪家族... ...

BIDEN CRIME FAMILY...

比登犯罪家族... ...

BIDEN CRIME FAMILY...

比登犯罪家族... ...

BIDEN CRIME FAMILY...

比登犯罪家族... ...

BIDEN CRIME FAMILY...

比登犯罪家族... ...

BIDEN CRIME FAMILY...

比登犯罪家族... ...

THAT'S ALL I GOT.

這就是我所得到的。

( LAUGHTER ) >> STEPHEN: OKAY, WHERE WERE WE?

好吧，我們去哪了？

EVEN BEFORE IL DOUCHIE LUMBERED TO THE PODIUM, AMERICA WAS

即使在I DOUCHIE被推崇到頂峰之前，美國也是如此

EXPERIENCING SOME HIGHLY-REFINED, WEAPONS-GRADE

經歷一些高精尖的武器級別的問題

ANXIETY BECAUSE, WHILE THINGS WERE LOOKING GOOD FOR BIDEN, AS

焦慮的原因，當事情看起來不錯的比登，作為

OF 8:30 P.M., THE RACE REMAINS ON A RAZOR'S EDGE.

晚上8: 30，比賽仍在刀鋒上。

SO, NOT ONLY IS IT STRESSFUL, IT'S IRRESPONSIBLE.

所以，不僅是壓力大，它是不負責任的。

AMERICA SHOULD BE NOWHERE NEAR SHARP OBJECTS.

美國應該是在任何地方接近銳利的對象。

THEY SHOULD TAKE AWAY OUR SHOELACES AND OUR BELT.

他們應該把我們的鞋帶和腰帶拿走。

A REMINDER: TO WIN THE PRESIDENCY, A CANDIDATE NEEDS

提醒：要想贏得總統職位，一個候選人需要

270 ELECTORAL VOTES.

270張選票：

AS I RECORD TONIGHT'S ZOETROPE, BIDEN HAS 253.

當我記錄下今晚的ZOETROPE時，BIDEN有253個。

BIDEN IS SO CLOSE TO VICTORY, HE CAN SMELL ITS HAIR.

比登是如此接近勝利， 他可以聞到它的頭髮。

ONE KEY STATE IS ARIZONA.

一個關鍵的州是亞利桑那州。

BIDEN IS AHEAD.

BIDEN是在前面。

IN FACT, SEVERAL NEWS ORGANIZATIONS HAVE ALREADY

事實上，許多新聞機構已經開始了

CALLED THE STATE FOR HIM.

為他叫來了政府。

THE TRUMP FOLKS STILL INSIST THEY HAVE A CHANCE, BUT EVEN

特朗普的人仍然堅持認為他們有機會，但他們甚至... ...

REPUBLICAN-FRIENDLY ESTIMATES SAY TRUMP HAS A STEEP UPHILL

共和黨友好型估計稱特朗普有陡峭的上坡路。

BATTLE TO CLOSE THE GAP.

縮小差距的戰鬥。

AND THE ONLY THING MORE CHALLENGING THAN A STEEP UPHILL

唯一比陡峭的山路更有挑戰性的事情是什麼？

BATTLE FOR TRUMP WOULD BE A STEEP DOWNHILL WADDLE.

為特朗普而戰將是一個陡峭的下坡路。

THEN THERE'S NEVADA, WHERE BIDEN'S AHEAD, BUT NOT BY MUCH.

然後是內華達州，那裡比登領先，但幅度不大。

HE CURRENTLY LEADS BY ABOUT 12,000 VOTES, WITH THE MAJORITY

他目前領先約12,000票，其中大部分票數都是由他自己決定的。

OF THE VOTES LEFT FROM THE LAS VEGAS AREA.

拉斯維加斯地區留下的選票中：

BUT IT'S NO SURPRISE THAT TRUMP DIDN'T TAKE VEGAS.

但這並不奇怪，特朗普沒有拿下維州。

WHENEVER TRUMP IS NEAR A CASINO, HE LOSES EVERYTHING.

只要特朗普靠近賭場，他就會失去一切。

ANOTHER STATE WE'RE WAITING ON IS GEORGIA, WHICH AWARDS 16

我們正在等待的另一個州是喬治亞州，它頒發了16個獎項。

ELECTORAL VOTES.

選舉投票：

NOW IT'S A TOSS-UP.

現在是兩敗俱傷。

PER THE GEORGIA STATE CONSTITUTION, THEIR ELECTION

根據《格魯吉亞憲法》，他們的選舉

CANNOT BE ULTIMATELY DECIDED UNTIL ALL MAIL-IN VOTES ARE

在所有郵寄投票結束之前，不能做出最終決定。

TABULATED AND ONE CANDIDATE HAS DEFEATED THE DEVIL IN A FIDDLE

榜上有名，有一位候選人以一己之力擊敗了魔鬼。

CONTEST.

競賽：

BUT THE KEY RACE IS THE KEYSTONE STATE, PENNSYLVANIA.

但關鍵的比賽是在賓夕法尼亞州的基石州。

BIDEN'S HOME STATE.

比登的家鄉。

RIGHT NOW, TRUMP LEADS, BUT AS THEY COUNT THE MAIL-IN BALLOTS,

現在，特朗普領先，但在他們計算郵寄選票的時候，

BIDEN IS RAPIDLY CLOSING THE GAP.

比登正在迅速縮小差距。

IF BIDEN WINS, HE'LL RECEIVE AN ELECTION-DECIDING 20 ELECTORAL

如果比登勝出，他將獲得一個決定性的20次選舉。

VOTES.

投票：

PER THE PENNSYLVANIA CONSTITUTION, THAT'S ONE FOR

根據賓夕法尼亞州的憲法，這是一個人的。

EVERY CAR THEY'LL FLIP OVER IN PHILLY, NO MATTER WHO WINS.

無論誰贏了，他們都會在菲利普斯翻車。

BUT NO SURPRISE, TRUMP IS ALREADY CLAIMING HE WON

但不出意外的話，川普已經宣稱自己贏了。

PENNSYLVANIA, AMONG OTHER STATES, TWEETING, "WE HAVE

賓夕法尼亞州等州在推特上寫道："我們有

CLAIMED, FOR ELECTORAL VOTE PURPOSES, THE COMMONWEALTH OF

為選舉投票目的，要求將下列國家和地區納入選舉範圍內：

PENNSYLVANIA-- WHICH WON'T ALLOW LEGAL OBSERVERS-- THE STATE OF

賓夕法尼亞州... 不允許法律觀察員... ...

GEORGIA, AND THE STATE OF NORTH CAROLINA, EACH ONE OF WHICH

格魯吉亞州和北卡羅來納州，其中每一個州都是

HAS A BIG TRUMP LEAD.

有一個大的特朗普領先。

ADDITIONALLY, WE HEREBY CLAIM THE STATE OF MICHIGAN IF, IN

此外，我們在此向密歇根州提出索賠，如果：

FACT, THERE WAS A LARGE NUMBER OF SECRETLY DUMPED BALLOTS AS

事實是，有大量的祕密傾倒的球作為...

HAS BEEN WIDELY REPORTED!" YOU CAN'T MAKE SOMETHING

已經被廣泛報道了！"你不能讓一些東西

OFFICIAL JUST BY USING FANCY-SOUNDING WORDS LIKE

官方只是通過使用一些聽起來很好聽的詞，比如說："我是說，我是說，我是說，我是說，我是說，我是說。

"HEREBY."

"Hereby."

"FOR ELECTORAL VOTE PURPOSES, I FORTHWITH, HERETOFORE, HITHERTO,

"為了選舉投票的目的，我特此，在此，特此：

AND TWO-BY-FOUR, CALL THE LAST CHOCOLATE DONUT.

二比四，叫最後一個巧克力甜甜圈。

MY LAWYERS ARE COMING IN TO LICK IT."

我的律師們要來舔它。"

SPEAKING OF LAWYERS WHO CAN LICK IT, YESTERDAY, TRUMP SENT A

說到能舔的律師，昨天，特朗普發了一個

SPECIAL-OPS TEAM TO PHILADELPHIA: SECOND FIRST SON

特別行動小組前往菲律賓：第二個第一子。

AND MAN GETTING DUMPED OVER ZOOM, ERIC TRUMP, AND ATTORNEY

和男人得到了傾倒 在ZOOM，埃裡克・特朗普，和律師，

TO THE PRESIDENT AND MAN ASKING A RAT IF IT'S GOING TO FINISH

主席和男人問一隻老鼠，如果它會完成

THAT COCKROACH, RUDY GIULIANI.

那個蟑螂，魯迪-朱利亞尼。

AND ERIC REVEALED THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN'S MASTER PLAN:

而艾瑞克則揭開了特朗普競選的大計。

>> WE ARE GOING TO FILE SUIT IN PENNSYLVANIA.

>> 我們要在賓夕法尼亞州提起訴訟。

IT'S A SHAME HAVE TO DO THAT.

要這樣做太可惜了。

IT'S THE LAST THING THAT WE WANTED TO DO, IT'S THE LAS

這是我們最不願意做的事，這是最後的事。

THING MY FATHER WANTED TO TO.

我父親想去的東西。

>> STEPHEN: TECHNICALLY, THE LAST THING YOUR FATHER WANTED DO

>> 從技術上講，你父親最不願意做的事情是什麼？

IS GO TO YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY.

是去參加你的生日派對。

BUT IF THIS WAS THE LAST THING HE WANTED TO DO, WHY WAS IT THE

但如果這是他最不願意做的事，為什麼是最不願意做的事？

FIRST THING HE SAID?

他說的第一句話？

>> WE'RE GOING TO GO IN THE NIGHT OF, AS SOON AS THAT

>> 我們要去的夜晚，儘快，

ELECTION'S OVER, WE'RE GOING IN WITH OUR LAWYERS.

選舉結束了，我們要去找我們的律師。

>> STEPHEN: AND SINCE YOUR LAWYER IS RUDY, I ASSUME BY

>> 由於你的律師是魯迪，我猜想你是通過

"GOING IN," YOU MEAN PRISON.

"進去"，你是指監獄。

THEN, RUDY GOT TESTY.

然後，RUDY得到了測試。

>> THE ULTIMATE RESULT IS, PRESIDENT TRUMP HAS WON

>> 最終結果是，特朗普總統贏了

PENNSYLVANIA.

賓夕法尼亞州：

I'VE NEVER HEARD OF A COUNT WHERE YOU'RE HEADED BY 400,000

我從來沒有聽說過一個數，你的頭40萬的地方。

WITH 80%-PLUS COUNTED AND THEY HAVEN'T CALLED IT FOR YOU YET.

八成以上的人，他們還沒有給你打電話。

DO YOU THINK WE'RE STUPID?

你以為我們是傻子嗎？

DO YOU THINK WE ARE FOOLS?

你以為我們是傻子嗎？

p>> STEPHEN: IS THAT A TRICK QUESTION?

p>> STEPHEN：這是一個詭計問題嗎？

BEAUSE...

BEAUSE...

YES?

是嗎？

YOU BUTT-DIALED REPORTERS, TWICE!

你們這群混蛋記者，兩次!