Name: 特朗普稱2020年大選是個 "騙局"，卻沒有證據｜《今夜秀》。 (Trump Calls 2020 Election a "Fraud" Without Proof | The Tonight Show)
Uploaded: 2020-11-05T18:33:09.000Z
Duration: 7 min 54 s

-Welcome to "The Tonight Show," everyone.

我是吉米-法倫，主播30小時的節目

來吧，現在是2020年。這是2020年。

Did you really think last night would end up wrapped up

你真的以為昨晚的事情會結束嗎？

Seriously, today, it felt like waking up with a hangover,

說真的，今天，感覺一覺醒來，就像宿醉了一樣。

What a long, emotional, and confusing ride this has been.

這是一段多麼漫長、情緒化和混亂的旅程。

It's like a Matthew McConaughey car commercial that won't end.

這就像馬修-麥康納的汽車廣告，不會結束。

-Yeah, the one thing we know for sure is, no more polls.

-是的，我們可以肯定的是，沒有更多的民意調查。

That's it. Done, okay? No more polls, alright?

就這樣吧完成了，好嗎？沒有更多的民意調查，好嗎？

From now on, the only time Americans want to hear

從現在開始，美國人唯一想聽到的就是

about a poll is if they're talking about Santa

關於民意調查是，如果他們談論的是聖誕老人。

Yep, today, pollsters saw a different blue wave

是的，今天，民調專家們看到了不同的藍波。

right as they were slowly walking into the ocean.

就在他們慢慢走進大海的時候。

At this point, I'd rather hear predictions from

在這一點上，我更願意聽到來自

the guy trying to guess my weight at a carnival.

那個在嘉年華會上想猜我體重的人。

Pollsters were basically us when we really think

民意調查員基本上是我們，當我們真正認為

we've nailed a parallel park but then get out of the car

我們已經釘住了一個平行的停車場，但隨後下車。

and see we're about 14 feet from the curb.

You don't want to scrape the bottom of the do--

Oh, actually, well, we could fit a Le Car

哦，其實，我們可以裝一輛Le Car。

between where we parked and where the..."

從現在開始，當你發佈一個投票。

As we speak, some states are still tallying the votes.

就在我們說話的時候，一些州還在統計選票。

Somehow, Chuck E. Cheese can count a million tickets

不知道為什麼，查克奶酪可以數出一百萬張票。

on the spot, and we still can't count the votes in three days?

在現場，我們還不能在三天內統計票數？

My stress eating has gone from brownies to ice cream

我的壓力飲食已經從布朗尼變成了冰激凌。

to just pouring raw cake mix down my throat.

Yep, the race is still too close to call.

"Sure, I can do four more years of this."

Experts still can't believe the race is this tight.

專家們仍然不敢相信比賽會如此激烈。

Apparently, people were voting based on which candidate

顯然，人們是根據哪位候選人來投票的。

But one of the big stars of the election night

and MSNBC political correspondent Steve Kornacki,

Guy was working the touch-screen map like a magician.

蓋伊像個魔術師一樣在操作觸屏地圖。

All night long, he was shown on the "Kornacki Cam."

整個晚上，他都在 "科納基凸輪 "上顯示。

and you could tell the newscasters were feeling it.

Even CNN's graphics guy, who does the banner

就連CNN的平面設計人員，也是做橫幅的人

at the bottom of the screen, was stressed out.

-And when Florida's close, it comes down to the I-4 corridor.

-佛羅里達州接近的時候，就到了I-4走廊了。

-But a tremendous amount of Democratic vote

-You know, that's nearly 30 points there -- 28 points.

-你知道，那是將近30個點，28個點。

-有了這個狂野而不同的2020年。

If he saw this and, say, it's past midnight...

如果他看到這個，比如說，已經過了午夜... ...

is that just the early votes or are there votes?

-它已經不再是地圖上的東西了。

identify where, specifically, in this county...

Well, very early this morning, Biden spoke to a drive-in crowd

今天一早，拜登向駕車的人群發表了演講。

in Wilmington, Delaware, and he told us that we need patience.

在特拉華州威明頓，他告訴我們，我們需要耐心。

But I'm not sure it's one of America's strengths.

但我不確定這是美國的優勢之一。

I mean, if a TikTok video isn't fun in the first 3 seconds,

我的意思是，如果一個TikTok視頻在前3秒就不好玩了。

Yeah, we just have to be patient in a country

是啊，我們只需要在一個國家耐心等待。

that literally invented a Domino's tracker

so we know exactly when our pizza will arrive.

這樣我們就能知道我們的披薩什麼時候能到了。

Like, "It's in the oven, honey! It's in the oven!

就像，"它在烤箱裡，親愛的!它在烤箱裡！

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特朗普稱2020年大選是個 "騙局"，卻沒有證據｜《今夜秀》。 (Trump Calls 2020 Election a "Fraud" Without Proof | The Tonight Show)

literally

apparently

basically

applause