I walked up to the Bob Dylan house because there's a house that Dylan was born and he's got a childhood home.

我走到鮑勃-迪倫家，因為那裡是迪倫出生的房子，他有一個童年的家。

And, um, and I'm outside the house and this woman comes out on the porch and she's like Bob Dylan and I'm like, Yeah, she's like, You want to see the house?

而且，嗯，我在外面的房子 和這個女人出來的門廊 她像鮑勃-迪倫 我想，是啊，她的樣子， 你想看到的房子？

And I'm like, Sure, So she takes me and takes me in a Bob Dylan's house and that there's a husband sitting in the kitchen table reading a magazine and he sees me.

我想，當然，所以她帶我去了鮑勃-迪倫的房子，並帶我在一個鮑勃-迪倫的房子，有一個丈夫坐在廚房的桌子上看雜誌，他看到了我。

He's like Bob Dylan, and I'm like, Yeah, he's like, Yeah, go upstairs and like, it's just a really cool, insane thing.

他就像鮑勃-迪倫，我就像，是啊，他就像，是啊，上樓去，就像，這只是一個非常酷，瘋狂的事情。

That's wonderful.

那真是太好了

It was so cool.

太酷了

And then the woman was like, You know about the Armory show, right?

然後那個女人就說，你知道軍械庫展吧？

And I was like, No idea.

我當時想，不知道。

And I guess the last show Buddy Holly played before he died.

我想這也是巴迪-霍利死前最後一場演出了。

Bob was at this armory in Duluth.

鮑勃在德盧斯的這個軍械庫。

Bob Dylan went as a teenager and was in the front row, and there's a photo that I saw while I was in the loop of Bob Dylan in the front row looking at Buddy Holly, which is, like, so, so creepy and crazy and weird.

鮑勃-迪倫十幾歲的時候就去了，而且是在前排，有一張照片，我在循環的時候看到了鮑勃-迪倫在前排看著巴迪-霍利的照片，這就像，如此，如此令人毛骨悚然，瘋狂而詭異。

That is great.

這是偉大的。

Well, look, the one thing I love one of many things I love about Duluth is that it is ridiculously easy to get in touch with anybody.

好吧，聽著，我喜歡德盧斯的很多事情中的一件事... ... .......

Like my husband likes this, um, band called Low there from Duluth.

就像我丈夫喜歡這個，嗯，樂隊叫低有來自德盧斯。

Um, and we just Facebook, you know, message them.

嗯，我們只是Facebook，你知道，給他們發消息。

And they said, I want to get lunch today like it's not like, you know, Eliot in New York.

他們說，我想得到今天的午餐 喜歡它不喜歡，你知道，艾略特在紐約。

It's like, uh, can we reschedule it in 2022?

這就像，呃，我們可以重新安排它在2022年？

A window?

窗戶？

Is it like What is it like, Alan?

是不是像... ...像什麼，艾倫？

It's like Alan Spar hawking them.

就像阿蘭-斯帕在兜售他們一樣。

Ellen Spar Hawk, His wife, Mimi.

艾倫-斯帕-霍克，他的妻子咪咪。

We've been to their house.

我們去過他們家

Now that's wild.

現在，這是野生的。

That's insane.

這是瘋了。

So it's just like now it's not like L.

所以就像現在不像L。

A like we should do.

一個像我們應該做的。

We should.

我們應該。

We have to hang out and then you'll see them in two years.

我們得出去玩玩，然後兩年後你就會看到他們。

This is like, No, they're like, no, where you're coming over, right?

這就像，不，他們就像，不，你要過來的地方，對吧？

Yeah, I know.

是的，我知道。

It's really, uh, a huge fan of you guys.

真的是，呃，是你們的忠實粉絲。

What do you wanna live together?

你想怎麼住在一起？

Okay, that's what you did.

好吧，這就是你所做的。

That's exactly what she didn't meet.

這正是她沒有遇到的。

Almost as I was like, Hey, we've got extra space.

幾乎我當時就想，嘿，我們有多餘的空間。

I've always wanted to have kids in theory, So I figure if somebody's in their thirties, it's like I can handle it for 3 to 4 weeks, I'll make you eggs.

理論上我一直想生孩子，所以我想如果有人三十多歲了，我就說我能應付3到4周，我就給你做雞蛋。

Comics air.

漫畫的空氣。

So charitable.

如此慈善。

Sometimes it's like insane, like the amount of comedians who like who have hosted me in, like various countries and cities like Elayne Boosler.

有時候就像瘋了一樣，就像有多少喜劇演員喜歡誰接待過我，就像各個國家和城市，比如艾琳-博斯勒。

I did like one show with Elayne Boosler, and she's like, Stay at my place when I'm like and it's a really, like it's a real community.

我做了像一個節目 與埃萊恩-布斯勒， 她的樣子，留在我的地方 當我喜歡，這是一個真正的， 喜歡它的一個真正的社區。

That's what I miss so much about this.

這就是我所懷念的。

Like I ran into.

就像我遇到。

I ran into Chris Fleming on the street a couple of weeks ago, and I wanted to, like, grab his leg and never let go.

幾周前我在街上碰到克里斯-弗萊明 我真想抓住他的腿不放 I ran into Chris Fleming on the street a couple of weeks ago, and I wanted to, like, grab his leg and never let go.

Like I just miss running into people and miss the whole Yeah, but not scheduling people, but like like accidentally seeing people is a great way to do it.

就像我只是錯過了運行到人 並錯過了整個 是啊，但不是調度的人，但像像意外看到的人 是一個偉大的方式來做到這一點。

What would it take for anyone to perform again?

要怎樣才能讓人再次表演？

Like what kind of restrictions but kind of death rate?

比如什麼樣的限制，但什麼樣的死亡率？

Is anyone thinking about that or they're just moving on a new president?

是有人在考慮這個問題，還是他們在動用新的總統？

But the the that there's some sort of cure that that would be good, because I just wouldn't want Thio do a club and then somebody get killed.

但如果有某種治療方法，那就好了，因為我不希望Thio做一個俱樂部，然後有人被殺。

Yeah, I watch.

是的，我看。

That's my That's my biggest fear is like I just get a email.

這是我的 這是我最大的恐懼是像我只是得到一個電子郵件。

It's just like a great show.

就像一場精彩的演出。

My grandma died.

我奶奶去世了。

Yeah.

是啊。

What?

什麼？

What?

什麼？

Unload to put on you.

卸下來放在你身上。

Yeah, but your story about your mom is fucking worth it.

是啊，但你關於你媽媽的故事是他媽的值得。

I gotta say, Good.

我得說，好。

I'm over there, Maria, where?

我在那邊，瑪麗亞，在哪裡？

It's just like I don't know, man.

這就像我不知道，男人。

I feel like there's been times in history.

我覺得歷史上也有過這樣的時候。

We have to take a break.

我們要休息一下。

And my and this might just be like, Yeah, everybody take a break, Everybody.

而我和這個可能只是喜歡， 是啊，大家休息一下，大家。

I mean, I understand.

我的意思是，我理解。

You know, he was promise something that God took from, but that's how I find it in my head.

你知道，他是承諾的東西 上帝從，但這是我如何找到它在我的頭上。

E no.

E號

And by God, I mean deadline.

我說的上帝，是指最後期限。

Yeah, but you're fine, Jack.

是的，但你很好，傑克。

To be like, I'm just gonna focus on other things and be a human being.

要像，我只是要去專注於其他的事情，是一個人。

Fine with it.

罰款與它。

I would way rather see you guys all the time to do stand up and be drunk till 3 a.m. At the store or whatever, but you know, it is what it is.

我寧願看到你們一直站著喝到凌晨3點，在商店或其他什麼地方，但你知道，這是它是什麼。

And if you don't react and, you know, change some shit.

如果你沒有反應，你知道，改變一些狗屎。

You're gonna just be a sad sack of the crib performing in that weird liminal four or five day grace space between when the world was normal when the world was shut down.

你只是一個悲傷的麻袋的嬰兒床表演 在那個奇怪的邊緣四或五天的寬限期之間 當世界是正常的，當世界被關閉。

It's crazy.

太瘋狂了

I feel comfortable saying this.

我覺得這樣說很舒服。

But I said to my I was on tour.

但我對我的說我在旅遊。

I was, like, legit, legit on a tour of the UK that had a couple weeks left and they said to my agent, like, Hey, I think I should cancel the shows because cat coming to cancel the shows and gone home.

我是一樣，合法的，合法的 在英國的巡迴演出 有幾個星期離開 他們對我的經紀人說，像， 嘿，我想我應該取消節目 因為貓來取消節目 和回家。

And I called her and I was like, Is there gonna be a problem?

我打電話給她，我想，是不是會有問題？

And she wrote, bro, Yeah.

她寫道，兄弟，是啊。

And so my agents were like, Why?

所以我的經紀人就說，為什麼？

What's the big deal?

有什麼大不了的？

Like?

喜歡嗎？

It's not a problem.

這不是一個問題。

And I was like, Yeah, and then my dad is.

我當時想，是啊，然後我爸是。

My dad is in charge of distributing PPE now for the hospitals and universities of Massachusetts, and he called me.

我爸爸現在負責為馬薩諸塞州的醫院和大學分發個人防護用品，他給我打電話。

He's like, Hey, you know, I never tell you what to do, but maybe you should look into canceling your shows.

他就像，嘿，你知道，我從來沒有告訴你該怎麼做， 但也許你應該考慮取消你的節目。

And so I called the engines back, and I was like, I want to cancel the shows and they, like you, are so alarmist.

所以我給引擎回電話，我說，我想取消節目，他們和你一樣，都是如此危言聳聽。

But like we will deal with this sort of like Jewish neurosis.

但就像我們會處理這種像猶太人的神經病一樣。

And this is my UK.

而這就是我的英國。

These are my UK agents, and they're, like, way Shut it down.

這些都是我的英國代理， 他們是一樣，關閉它的方式。

But I did.

但我做到了。

One last show in Glasgow ends, and that night had, like, a really, like, last dance on the Titanic field.

格拉斯哥的最後一場演出結束了，當晚在泰坦尼克號的場子上，有一場真正的，像，最後的舞蹈。

To it, it was like a rial was like, Welcome to the last show we're going to go to for five months.

對它來說，它就像一個rial就像，歡迎來到最後一個節目，我們要去五個月。

And people, really it had a special sad feeling to it that will never be able to forget.

而人，真的是有一種特別的傷感，永遠無法忘記。

And those agents, by the way, like their whole company, shut down like that, they don't One of them is like working as a carpenter Now, my goodness, that's such a far fall.

而那些代理商，順便說一下，就像他們整個公司一樣，就這樣關門大吉，他們不 其中一個就像當木匠一樣 現在，我的天啊，那是多麼遙遠的秋天。

That seems like a ridiculous far from grace.

這似乎是一個荒唐的遠方。

Like everybody had quit.

好像大家都不幹了。

He already has a new job we owe like Ovitz.

他已經有了一份新的工作，我們像奧維茨一樣欠著。

Not really, But then you have to do construction.

不見得，但你要做建築。

They claimed that the reverse Jesus, where you go from the elevated position, back to carpentry, etc.

他們宣稱，反轉耶穌，你從高位，回到木工等。

So now he doesn't send you scripts.

所以現在他不給你發稿子了。

He just sends you tape measures.

他只是給你髮捲尺。

He generally was like, Hey, I'm working on this table and like, that's the kind of thing he's like.

他一般都是這樣，嘿，我在研究這個表，喜歡，他就是這樣的。

We're gonna this table Do you wanna be involved?

我們要去這張桌子，你想參與嗎？

We've got a good perfect No, But like I got attached legs, air attached were circling.

我們已經得到了一個很好的完美沒有，但就像我得到了連接的腿，空氣連接是盤旋。

Some stain were looking at me.

有些汙點在看著我。

What does spend lots of time on deadline that that that's the Keith Refreshing Keith.

什麼花大量的時間在截止日期，那那就是基斯刷新基斯。

Refreshing.

令人耳目一新。

Every moment you've got something, who's doing what they're doing better than May must be held the work at Deadline.

每時每刻你都有東西，誰做的比梅做的好，必須在死線舉行工作。

If you have any showbiz aspirations that every day you just get 100 notices of people who are, like, who have something fun to announce deadline is just the school announcements of the entertainment business.

如果你有什麼娛樂圈的願望，每天你只是收到100個通知的人，如，誰有什麼好玩的東西，宣佈截止日期只是娛樂圈的學校公告。

Well, if this dude comes on and just like, uh, in the morning, we'll have a new show with Jason Bateman and newcomer right.

好吧，如果這傢伙來了，就像，呃，在早上， 我們將有一個新的節目與傑森・貝特曼和新來的權利。

But the one eyes when someone gets recast at the table rate when they that makes you feel better about your entire life and the fact that you hit someone with your car in 2013 and I was like Well, they showed up, they were who they are, and they weren't good enough.

但是，當一個人得到重鑄的表率時，他們的眼睛，讓你感覺更好的你的整個生活和事實，你用你的車撞了一個人在2013年，我很喜歡嗯，他們出現了，他們是誰，他們是不夠好。

E.

E.

Don't think I could up that.

我不認為我可以起來。

You know, your story is more beautiful with my last performance was at the newsstand and that lower room Awesome.

你知道，你的故事是更美麗的 我最後的表現是在報刊亭和下層房間真棒。

Super fucking awesome rooms.

超他媽棒的房間。

Love, love those people over there level, guys.

愛，愛那些人那邊的水準，夥計們。

And I was honest scout with my buddy Ritchie keen for a show that me and my friends were getting ready to make.

我和我的朋友Ritchie很熱衷於我和我的朋友們準備做的一個節目，我是誠實的球探。

And because of covert, it all just shut down.

而因為隱蔽的原因，這一切就這樣被關閉了。

You know, life is fine.

你知道，生活很好。

Move on.

繼續前進。

But it was like we're making the TV show we were scouting.

但這就像我們在拍電視劇一樣，我們在偵查。

Moses knows all this.

摩西知道這一切。

We're making a TV show.

我們正在做一個電視節目。

We're scouting.

我們在偵查

We were, like, getting all the shots down.

我們一樣，讓所有的鏡頭下來。

We fully went through our list.

我們全面地檢查了我們的名單。

We got everybody ready to go the Monday when, like the whole world, when Tom Tom Hanks got it the day we shut everything down and Trump said he's got shut down all flights And so, uh, by combat, give me an earlier flight.

我們讓每個人都準備好了，當週一，像整個世界一樣，當湯姆-湯姆-漢克斯得到了它的一天，我們關閉了一切，特朗普說，他有關閉所有的班機，所以，呃，通過戰鬥，給我一個早期的班機。

Had to put me on a flight back to L.

不得不讓我坐飛機回L。

A.

A.

So I wouldn't be trapped in New York.

這樣我就不會被困在紐約了。

I get I get there and everybody from the U.

我得到我得到那裡和大家從U。

K.

K.

It's just standing in a group because they wouldn't let them fly home.

就是因為不讓他們飛回家，所以站在一群人中。

S So it was just really like, scary.

所以它只是真的很喜歡，可怕的。

Like everybody was being incredibly rude Asian people.

就像每個人都是不可思議的粗魯的亞洲人。

Like I was watching this xenophobia happened in front of my eyes like it was it was crazy.

就像我看著這種仇外心理發生在我眼前一樣，它是它是瘋狂的。

And then there was just like a group of some biscuit e motherfuckers just standing off to the side with nowhere to go.

然後，就有像一群一些餅乾E motherfuckers 只是站在一邊，無處可去。

Your E luckily got on the plane blew over.

你的E很幸運的上了飛機，被炸飛了。

We're like, you know, this is just like people going crazy.

我們就像，你知道，這就像人們發瘋一樣。

Nope, Literally.

不，從字面上看。

The last show I did was at the stand hanging out with, like, I think it was like, who was there that night.

我最後一場演出是在站臺上閒逛，好像，我想是像，那天晚上誰在那裡。

Like Clayton, English was with me.

和克萊頓一樣，英國人也和我在一起。

For some reason, it was it was just a great night.

不知道為什麼，那是它只是一個偉大的夜晚。

And then the whole world check down, even live.

然後全世界都檢查下來，甚至活。

Stand up now and Moses, I'm sure experience is different about like, I'm gonna do some clubs at the end of the year.

現在站起來，摩西，我相信經驗是不同的關於喜歡，我要做一些俱樂部在今年年底。

But like, I did a show where the stage was the back of a pickup truck and I looked out and I was just like, What kind of world are we living in?

但就像，我做了一場演出，舞臺是一輛皮卡車的後面，我看著外面，我就想，我們生活在什麼樣的世界？

We're just, like live from the Thunderdome.

我們只是，就像在雷霆球館直播。

You're just like every show has, like, a genuine post apocalyptic feel to it.

你就像每個節目都有，像，一個真正的後世界末日的感覺吧。

I'm with Jack a bit on zoom shows like I do them now because I can't live without some kind of stand up.

我和傑克有點像我現在做的變焦表演，因為我不能沒有某種站立。

But it feels very much like I bombed a couple weeks ago, 2 ft from my bed, like That's hard.

但感覺很像幾周前我被炸了，離我的床2英尺，就像這很難。

Leave the venue.

離開會場。

Yeah, if I really want to look at a place I truly bombed, I have to go toe like Sunnyvale, California And remember, 2013.

是啊，如果我真的想看看 我真正轟炸過的地方，我必須去加州桑尼維爾這樣的地方 記住，2013年。

Now it's just like, Oh, yeah, I remember three months ago where on my couch I bombed.

現在它只是喜歡，哦，是的，我記得三個月前，我在我的沙發上轟炸。

Like where a guy kept playing video games with his sister while I was on stage.

就像我在舞臺上的時候，有個傢伙一直在和他妹妹玩電子遊戲。

Oh, that's great.

哦，那是偉大的。

We turned out Zetter than not loving.

我們原來Zetter比不愛。

It's just like I it's on your a tap.

就像我一樣，它是在你的一個水龍頭。

That's the other thing.

這是另一件事。

There's no like audience accountability lag when If if they heckle is like that motherfucking Wisconsin what you're really gonna dio you didn't come back and just turn off his camera.

有沒有像觀眾問責滯後時，如果如果他們嘲笑是像他媽的威斯康星州什麼，你真的會dio你沒有回來，只是關閉他的相機。

You can't crush a heckler who lives in a like a different states so everyone could stay on.

你不能碾壓一個住在不同州的討厭鬼，這樣大家就可以繼續下去了。

Except Maria.

除了瑪麗亞

You have three seconds to say you a lot of times.

你有三秒鐘的時間說你很多遍。

Sorry.

對不起，我不知道

Yeah, we are out of time, but this is honestly so much fun that, you know, I was a very real way having a rough morning for whatever reason, and this made me feel better.

是啊，我們是沒有時間了，但這是說實話這麼多的樂趣，你知道，我是一個非常真實的方式有一個粗糙的早晨，無論什麼原因，這讓我感覺更好。

So thank you for for me on this one.

所以，謝謝你為我這個。

It's just nice.

它只是很好。

Thio.

Thio.

Does anyone have anything coming up that they want toe get the message out about?

有沒有人有什麼事情要發生，他們想把消息傳出去？

I know Jack has doomsday mix tape, which is the podcast I was talking about, which I highly recommend.

我知道傑克有末日混音帶，這就是我說的播客，我強烈推薦。

Don't fall asleep to it.

不要對著它睡著了。

Hilarious.

幽默的。

So good.

這麼好。

I think big miles coming at some point, some other news will probably come out when white people allow me to say it.

我覺得大里程在某個時間點來，其他的一些消息可能會在白人允許我說的時候出來。

I'm giving you permission.

我給你的許可。

I've got an album out.

我已經出了一張專輯。

I just put out an album because I was like, I need somehow toe still be putting out stand up But I put out an album called Until now to record an Acme Maria Minneapolis E Love acne.

我剛剛出了一張專輯，因為我當時想，我需要以某種方式的腳趾仍然是把站起來，但我把一張專輯叫做直到現在，以記錄一個Acme Maria Minneapolis E Love acne。

I love Lee, and also I've been phone banking for the biting campaign a lot.

我愛李，同時我也經常為咬合運動的電話銀行。

And if people have spare time now, you should phone bank.

而如果大家現在有空閒時間，你應該電話銀行。

It's super easy and apparently it really helps.

這是超級簡單的，顯然它真的很有用。

So, like it sounds so dumb.

所以，好像聽起來很傻。

But like e don't know, be really nice toe have a new president in a couple of weeks.

但就像我們不知道，真的很好有一個新的總統 在幾個星期。

So?

那又怎樣？

So maybe just don't ruin my birthday.

所以，也許只是不要毀了我的生日。

My birthday, my birth.

我的生日，我的出生。

My birthday is the sixth.

我的生日是6號。

So whatever happens on the third.

所以，無論第三場發生什麼。

I know the voters probably take 1 to 2 weeks to actually get everything together.

我知道選民們可能需要1到2周的時間才能真正把所有的東西聚集起來。

And I know they're going to try and destroy election.

我知道他們會試圖破壞選舉。

We could talk about this another day, but just, like, let me lease if you're gonna If you're either blow Biden out the water and we're like, we live in a terrible place.

我們可以改天再談這個問題 但如果你要把拜登吹得天花亂墜 我們就會覺得我們生活在一個可怕的地方

Don't make it some weird contention that my birthday is awkward, right?