for you doesn't really exist: there are just different varieties and degrees of wrongness.

對你來說並不真的存在：只是有不同的品種和錯誤程度。

It's not your fault or theirs. Anyone, however lovely they seem at first, will turn out to

這不是你或他們的錯。任何一個人，不管他們一開始多麼可愛，都會變成

be maddening, difficult and deeply disappointing in a few – but to you very important – ways.

在一些方面令人發狂、困難和深感失望--但對你來說非常重要。

You are carrying the burden of Romanticism and are suffering from it gravely. You have

你正揹負著浪漫主義的包袱，並深受其害。你已經

been made sick by the beguiling – but fatally oppressive – fantasy that there's a specific

被一個誘人的--但致命的壓迫--幻想弄得噁心，那就是有一個特定的------------------------。

person you are meant to be with who will end the longing, who will be your soul-mate, sexual

你命中註定的那個人，他將會結束你的渴望，他將會是你的靈魂伴侶，性的伴侶

companion, chauffeur, housekeeper, co-parent, business partner and best friend. You see

伴侶、司機、管家、共同父母、商業夥伴和最好的朋友。你看

them so clearly in your mind. That's because you made them up. But they don't, in fact,

他們如此清楚地在你的腦海裡。那是因為你編造了它們。但事實上，他們並沒有。

exist. Advertising, films and music have done their utmost to convey to us that people do

存在。廣告、電影和音樂都在竭力向我們傳達，人們確實

eventually, after a little heartache, find their ideal other, their long-lost twin. It's

最終，在經歷了一點心酸之後，找到了自己理想的另一半，失散多年的雙胞胎。這就是

a very powerful idea to lean on when you're trying to sell a stranger a concert or movie

一個非常強大的想法，依靠當你試圖出售一個陌生人的演唱會或電影。

ticket. But it isn't true. The number of people around the world who are profoundly

票。但事實並非如此。全世界有多少人深陷其中？

emotionally, sexually, practically and intellectually happy with a partner, for more than a brief

在情感上、性上、實踐上和智力上與伴侶的幸福，不僅僅是短暫的。

period, is tiny. These lucky souls could, if gathered, comfortably fit on a small island

期，是很小的。這些幸運的靈魂，如果聚集在一起，可以舒適地容納在一個小島上。

in the Maldives. You're unlikely to be among them – and won't win the lottery either.

在馬爾地夫。你不太可能成為他們中的一員--也不會中彩票。

This doesn't have to be the end. There's a more mature idea of love around that stresses

這不一定是終點。有一個更成熟的愛的想法周圍強調

how invariably compromised all good relationships are. Compatibility is an achievement of love;

所有美好的關係都是多麼的無一例外的妥協。相容是愛的成就。

it shouldn't be its precondition. We manage to live wisely and comfortably around one

它不應該是它的前提條件。我們設法圍繞著一個人明智而舒適地生活。

another when we stop insisting that our partners must constantly share all of our tastes, interests

當我們不再堅持要求我們的伴侶必須經常分享我們所有的品味、興趣時，我們就會有另一種選擇。

and opinions. It is more than normal to be really quite lonely in large parts of our

和意見。在我們的大部分地區，真的很孤獨是再正常不過的事情了。

emotional lives. An important factor – behind almost any decent relationship – is the

情感生活。

capacity of each partner to manage cheerfully on their own. Relationships don't solve

每個夥伴都有能力自己愉快地管理。關係不能解決

the problem of loneliness for very long. It's easy to lament how awful other possible partners

寂寞的問題很長時間。我們很容易感嘆其他可能的伴侶是多麼的可怕

are. But reflect on the ways you are difficult to live with too. You must be to a significant

是。但也要反思自己難以相處的方式。你一定是對一個重要的

degree – not because you are unusually freakish, but because everyone carries with them a range

度--不是因為你異常怪異，而是因為每個人都帶著一系列的

of flaws and failings that show up, horribly, on close inspection. You will to a significant

的缺陷和故障，在仔細檢查後，顯示出，可怕的。你會對一個重要的

extent be ruining the life of anyone you get together with long-term. Stop looking for

在一定程度上會毀了你長期相處的人的生活。不要再找

a perfect partner and start looking for that far nicer and more enticing prospect: a good

一個完美的合作伙伴，並開始尋找更好的和更誘人的前景：一個良好的。

enough one. The fact that no-one will be ideal doesn't mean that another person will have

足夠的一個人。沒有人會是理想的，並不意味著另一個人就會有

nothing to offer. It's just that what we need from them will arrive wrapped up in a

沒有什麼可提供的。只是我們需要從他們那裡得到的東西，會被包裹在一個...

lot of things we don't need and don't want. Hopefully, the long painful single period

很多東西我們不需要，也不想要。希望，漫長的痛苦的單期。

hasn't just been wasted time. It's been a training ground for the true spirit of compromise

不僅僅是浪費了時間。它一直是一個訓練場 對於真正的妥協精神

and gratitude that lasting

感恩圖報

love demands.

愛的要求。

If you enjoyed our film, please subscribe to our channel and click the bell icon to turn on notifications.

如果您喜歡我們的影片，請訂閱我們的頻道，點擊鈴鐺圖標打開通知。

To learn more about love, try our set of cards that help answer that essential question, "Who should i be with?"

要想了解更多關於愛情的資訊，請嘗試我們的一套卡片，幫助回答這個基本問題，"我應該和誰在一起？"