THIS.

這。

THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP PUMPKIN WEIGH OFF WHICH IS HELD EVERY

每年都會舉行的世界冠軍盃PUMPKIN稱重比賽。

YEAR IN HALF MOON BAY, CALIFORNIA.

年在加州的半月灣。

AND THIS YEAR'S WINNER WAS GROWN BY A HORTICULTURE TEACH YOU ARE

而今年的獲獎者則是由一位園藝老師培養出來的。

FROM MINNESOTA AND THE PUMPKIN, TRUE STORY, WEIGHED IN AT 2,350

來自明尼蘇達州的《明尼蘇達州和小黃瓜》，真實的故事，重達2350公斤。

POUNDS.

斤。

LOOK AT THAT, THE TEACHER CREDITS THE SIZE OF THE PUMPKIN

看啊，老師把南瓜的大小都記在了賬上

TO WATERING IT TEN TIMES A DAY, GIVING IT PLENTY OF FERTILIZER

每天給它澆水十次，給它大量的肥料。

AND MAYBE ORDERING A LITTLE TOO MUCH TAKEOUT AT THE BEGINNING OF

可能在開始的時候點了太多的外賣。

QUARANTINE.

QUARANTINE：

I DON'T THINK I-- I DIDN'T KNOW PUMPKINS COULD GROW THAT BIG,

我不認為我... 我不知道南瓜能長這麼大。

IAN, YOU HAVE EVER SEEN A PUMPKIN THAT SIDE.

IAN，你見過那邊的南瓜嗎？

>> NO WAY, 2,350 POWPPED PUMPKIN, YOU DON'T CARVE THAT

>> 沒有辦法，2350 POWPPED PUMPKIN，你不刻的。

INTO A JACK-O-LANTERN, YOU MAKE IT A A JACK O LIGHT HOUSE.

變成傑克蘭特的房子，你就變成傑克光的房子。

GIVE IT TO ME.

把它給我。

I SAW THIS THING AND I WAS LIKE OH MY GOURD.

我看到這個東西，我很喜歡哦，我的天哪。

COME ON.

來吧。

>> James: I AM JUST NOTICING WHY ARE YOU WEARING A SUIT.

>> 詹姆斯。我只是注意到你為什麼要穿西裝。

I NEVER HAVE YOU DOWN AS A SUIT DUDE.

我從來沒有你下來作為一個西裝紈絝子弟。

>> OH, YEAH, YEAH, I'M JUST TRYING TO LEARN FROM YOU.

>> 哦，是的，是的，我只是想向你學習。

SPEAKING OF WHICH, THAT SUIT IS BEAUTIFUL.

說到這裡，那件衣服真是太漂亮了。

IS THAT, IS THAT NEW?

是，是新的嗎？

>> James: DO YOU KNOW, WELL, THIS ISN'T NEW.

>> 詹姆斯。你知道嗎，好吧，這不是新的。

BUT THE TIE.

但領帶。

IS I PICKED UP THE TIE LAST WEEKEND.

我上週末買了領帶。

SO THAT IS PROBABLY WHAT YOU ARE SEEING DIFFERENT, A LOVELY TIE.

所以這可能就是你看到的不同，一個可愛的領帶。

>> YEAH, THAT'S GREAT, THAT'S WILD, THAT'S CRAZY.

>> 是的，這是偉大的，這是野生的，這是瘋狂的。

NOW YOU ARE SOMETHING OF A FASHION PLATE BUT WERE YOU

你現在是個時尚的牌子，但你是嗎？

TELLING ME BEFORE THE SHOW YOU HAD A FUNNY EXPERIENCE RECENTLY

在演出前告訴我你最近有什麼有趣的經歷。

WHERE YOU WERE BUYING NEW SOCKS.

你在哪裡買的新襪子。

>> James: YOU KNOW, YEAH, THIS IS-- THIS IS ALL THE HOT

>> 詹姆斯。你知道，是的，這是 - 這就是所有的熱點。

BACKSTAGE GOSSIP YOU MISS OUT ON.

你錯過的幕後花絮。

A FUNNY STORY, I WAS TELLK IAN, MY WIFE AND I WENT TO SANTA

一個有趣的故事，我被告知，我和我的妻子和我去了聖塔。

BARBARA FOR MY WITH BIRTHDAY AND I DIDN'T KNOW BECAUSE OF THE

芭芭拉為我的生日禮物，我不知道因為我的生日。

VIRUS, I DIDN'T KNOW IF WE WERE GOING TO DINNER, WHAT WE WERE

病毒，我不知道如果我們要去吃飯，我們是什麼

DOING.

做：

SO I PACKED FOR EVERY KIND OF OUTFIT THAT YOU CAN IMAGINE.

所以我為所有你能想象到的服裝打包。

BUT I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO PARK ANY SOCKS.

但我完全忘記了停放任何襪子。

THIS IS NOT A GOOD STORY, THERE IS NO NEED FOR THIS TO BE ON TV.

這不是一個很好的故事，沒有必要這樣上電視。

WE'RE GETTING WAY OFF TRACK HERE.

我們現在離題萬里了

LET'S CARRY ON AND FINISHING THE MONOLOGUE.

讓我們繼續，完成獨白。

>> AMAZING.

>> AMAZING。

SPEAKK OF MONOLOGUES, WE HAVE TO CONGRATULATE YOU ON YOUR RECENT

說到獨白，我們必須祝賀你最近的

PEOPLE'S CHOICE AWARD NOMINATION--

人民選擇獎提名--。

(APPLAUSE).

(掌聲).

>> James: SORRY, I DON'T KNOW-- I DON'T KNOW-- WHAT IS

>> 詹姆斯。對不起，我不知道 - 我不知道 - 什麼是？

GOING ON HERE.

在這裡進行。

ARE YOU-- WHAT IS GOING ON?

你... ... 發生了什麼事？

ARE YOU TRYING TO HOST THE SHOW?

你是想主持節目嗎？

>> JAMES, THAT IS CRAZY.

>> 詹姆斯，這是瘋狂的。

>> James: RIGHT, YOU-- WELL, YOU ARE WEARING A SUIT AND NOW

>> 詹姆斯。好了，你 - 好了，你穿西裝，現在。

THAT I AM-- NOW THAT I AM LOOKING AT YOUR DESK, IT IS

我... 現在我看著你的桌子，它是...

EXACTLY THE SAME, IT IS EXACTLY THE SAME AS THIS DESK.

完全一樣，它是完全一樣的這個辦公桌。

WHAT IS GOING ON?

發生什麼事了？

WHY-- HANG ON?

為什麼 -- 等一下？

WHY AM I DRINKING OUT OF A "LATE, LATE SHOW" WITH IAN

為什麼我在和IAN的 "深夜深夜秀 "中喝得爛醉如泥？

KARMEL MUG.

KARMEL MUG.

YOU MADE A MUG.

你做了一個杯子。

>> NO, I DIDN'T MAKE A MUG, MY AMAZING CREW MADE THE MUG, LOU,

>> 不，我沒有做一個杯子，我的驚人的團隊做的杯子，LOU。

SAM, THE PROP HOUSE, IF YOU CAN DREAM IT, THEY CAN DO IT.

薩姆，道具屋，如果你能夢想，他們就能做到。

>> James: THAT IS MY AMAZING CREW, IF I DREAM IT, I-- THAT IS

>> James:那是我最棒的團隊，如果我做夢，我...

MY-- I'M THE HOST OF THIS SHOW.

我的 -- 我是這個節目的主持人。

>> JAMES, WE KNOW, COME ON, YOU ARE CLEARLY THE HOST OF THIS

>> 詹姆斯，我們知道，來吧，你顯然是主人的這個

SHOW.

SHOW：

IN FACT, DON'T WE HAVE A CLIP?

事實上，我們沒有剪輯嗎？

GNS GET IT, GET IT.

GNS得到它，得到它。

GET IT.

得到它。

YEAH.

是的。

(LAUGHTER) THAT WAS GREAT, YOU KNOW WHAT?

太棒了，你知道嗎？

(APPLAUSE).

(掌聲).

>> James: RIGHT, THAT'S IT, NO, I'M SORRY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT

>> 詹姆斯。對，就是這樣，不，對不起，我不知道什麼。

IS HAPPENING HERE.

是發生在這裡。

I DON'T LUKE THE SHOW BEING HIJACKED LIKE THIS, WHAT IS

我不知道節目被HIJACKED這樣，什麼是。

GOING ON HERE, I DON'T LIKE, THE MUG, EVERYTHING, I WOULD LIKE

在這裡，我不喜歡，杯子，一切，我想。

YOU TO-- I WOULD LIKE YOU TO LEAVE, OKAY.

你 -- 我想讓你離開，好嗎。

NO, I DON'T THINK IT'S COOL, IAN, ALL RIGHT.

不，我不認為這是很酷，伊安，所有的權利。

I NEED YOU TO GO.

我需要你去。

>> SERIOUSLY.

>> 認真地。

>> James: YES, I'M DEADLY SERIOUS, OKAY?

>> 詹姆斯。是的，我是致命的嚴重，好嗎？

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> 好的。

ALL RIGHT, SORRY.

好吧，對不起。

>> James: THANK YOU.

>> 詹姆斯。謝謝你。

>> YEAH.

>> 是的。

>> James: GOOD-BYE.

>> 詹姆斯。再見。

♪ HANG ON (LAUGHTER)

HANG ON（笑）

♪ HANG ON (LAUGHTER)

HANG ON（笑）

HANG ON, WHAT IS THIS?

等一下，這是什麼？

DID YOU MAKE-- THIS IS RIDICULOUS, IAN, IAN, IAN, IAN,

你做 - 這是荒謬的，IAN，IAN，IAN，IAN。

IAN, GET BACK HERE NOW, IAN.

伊安，現在就回來，伊安。

>> YEAH.

>> 是的。

>> James: GET BACK HERE NOW.

>> 詹姆斯：馬上回來

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INSANE.

這是絕對瘋狂的。

WHAT IS GOING ON?

發生什麼事了？

IAN, WHERE ARE YOU?

IAN，你在哪裡？

RIGHT HERE.

就在這裡。

>> James: NO, WHAT-- WHAT WAS THAT?

>> 詹姆斯。不，什麼 -- 那是什麼？

>> YOU TOLD ME TO LEAVE.

>> 你叫我離開。

>> James: YES, I DID, BUT NOT LIKE THAT.

>> 詹姆斯。是的，我有，但不是這樣的。

OKAY.

好的。

DO YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS IS NOT THE SIEM-- TIME, OKAY, YOU AND

你知道嗎，這不是SIEM -- 時間，好吧，你和。

ME ARE GOING TO HAVE A CONVERSATION DURING THE

我和你在這段時間裡要進行一次對話。

COMMERCIAL BREAK, OKAY?

商業休息，好嗎？

>> THAT IS A GREAT IDEA.

>> 這是個好主意。

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "LATE, LATE SHOW."

我們馬上回來，更多的 "晚間，晚間秀"。

>> James: NO, NO, I THROW TO COMMERCIAL, OKAY.

>> 詹姆斯。不，不，我扔到商業，OKAY。

WE'LL-- I WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE OF THE "LATE, LATE

我們會... 我馬上回來更多的 "晚了，晚了"。

SHOW."

SHOW。"

>> ONLY ON CBS.

>> 只在哥倫比亞廣播公司。

>> James: AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE NET WORK.

>> James:美國第一網絡工作。

>> WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> 我們馬上回來。

>> James: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> 詹姆斯。我們馬上回來。

>> STAY TUNED.

>> 請繼續關注。

>> James: GO TO MERCIAL NOW BECAUSE I SAID SO.

>> 詹姆斯。現在就去市集，因為我說過。

TO CLIPPING, COME ON BACK, EVERYBODY, DON'T EVEN.

剪輯，回來吧，大家，甚至不。

>> AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE NETWORK, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> 美國第一網絡，我們馬上回來。

NO DANCING, NO DANCING, NO DANCING.

不跳舞，不跳舞，不跳舞。

IAN KARMEL.

IAN KARMEL.

♪ IAN KARMEL.

IAN KARMEL

♪.

♪.

>> STOP FILMING HIM.

>> 停止拍攝他。