Well hey, Macdonald.

嘿，麥克唐納。

How you doing man?

你怎麼做的人？

Okay, good. Now.

好的，很好。好的，很好，現在。

You're gonna show both of us how to cook something

你要教我們兩個人怎麼做飯？

fantastic today, is that correct?

今天太棒了，是嗎？

Yes, we're gonna do the most amazing red mullet

是的，我們要做最驚人的紅色鯔魚。

with some fennel, orange and

搭配一些茴香、橙子和

on the back of how bad you were last time,

在背上你是多麼糟糕的最後一次。

this is gonna be cooked in a bag.

這是要去 煮在一個袋子裡。

Okay, we're gonna cook this in a bag.

好吧，我們要去煮這個在一個袋子裡。

You are known, you clap your hands a lot,

你是有名的，你經常拍手。

you yell at people, you are intimidating;

你對人大喊大叫，你是在嚇唬人。

this is gonna go very badly.

這是要去非常糟糕。

There's always you two guys. Now come on.

總是有你們兩個傢伙。現在來吧。

Right, first thing I want you to do is to segment an orange.

好的，首先我要你做的是分割一個橙子。

Okay? Norm?

好嗎？規範？

Yeah?

是嗎？

Wakey wakey.

WAKEY WAKEY。

No one else in the world says "Segment an orange".

世界上沒有人說 "段子橙"。

(all laughing)

（所有的笑）

You just cut the edges off. That's what you want, right?

你只要把邊緣切掉就好了這就是你想要的，對嗎？

No, you already started at the wrong end. Look.

不，你已經開始在錯誤的結束。看吧

There's the bit there.

就是那個位子。

Alright, alright.

好吧，好吧。

(beep)

（嗶嗶聲）

So you just top it and take it like that,

所以你就這樣頂著它，拿著它。

look, come on, wake up, stand there.

你看，來吧，醒醒吧，站在那裡。

I'm up to four segments,

我到了四段。

(beep)

（嗶嗶聲）

What? You didn't tell me the number of segments.

什麼 你還沒告訴我有多少段呢

(beep)

（嗶嗶聲）

He wants the edges off.

他想把邊角料去掉。

What am I supposed to (beep) do?

我應該怎麼（嗶）做？

Hey, hey, hey, hey , hey!

嘿，嘿，嘿，嘿，嘿！

Okay, Norm, so you go from there, look,

好吧，規範，所以你從那裡去，看。

all the way around.

一路走來。

Yeah.

是啊。

Seven minutes of audio will play for this whole hour.

這整整一個小時會播放7分鐘的音頻。

Now all the way there.

現在一路走來。

Once you've gone all the way around...

一旦你走完了所有的路... ...

Yeah?

是嗎？

Hey Conan, pay attention please, watch.

嘿，柯南，請注意，看。

Yeah all right, I'm over here,

好吧，我在這裡。

I got my own orange going all right?

我有我自己的橙子去沒事吧？

All the way around, so we take off the skin.

一路走來，所以我們脫了皮。

You're not teaching me, you're just showing off.

你不是在教我，你只是在炫耀。

Yeah,

是啊。

I'm not even there.

我甚至不在那裡。

That's the segment.

這就是段子。

There you go, all right.

好了，好了。

Cheerio and chop chop.

歡歡和剁剁。

Left and right, off you go, now watch your fingers.

左右開弓，走為上策，現在注意手指。

And then after that, okay,

然後在那之後，好吧。

Now look at this, mine's pretty good already.

現在看看這個，我的已經很不錯了。

There's sections of skin, still, but what the hell?

有部分的皮膚，還是，但什麼鬼？

Where's the orange gone?

橘子去哪了？

And it's like one in the morning, who- you know?

這就像凌晨一點，誰--你知道嗎？

We'll forget that one.

我們會忘記那個。

Right, fennel.

對，茴香。

Okay, here we go.

好了，我們開始吧。

Now with the fennel, okay, gonna push this off.

現在用茴香，好吧，要推掉這個。

Just slice that down, nice and thinly.

就把它切下來，切得很薄很薄。

[Conan] Now that I can do.

現在我可以做了。

See that was explained.

看，已經解釋過了。

I segmented another one.

我又分段了一個。

Where's the segment?

段子呢？

What?

什麼？

(beep)

（嗶嗶聲）

Where is it?

它在哪裡？

I threw it over there.

我把它扔到了那邊。

Oh, jeez. Okay look.

哦，天啊好吧，看。

All right I'm doing well, Gordon.

好吧，我做得很好，戈登。

That's the good part, that's the inside part.

這就是好的部分，這就是裡面的部分。

Right, okay.

好吧，好吧。

Stop yelling.

別叫了

Okay, right, that's great.

好吧，好吧，那很好。

Now from there, take it back.

現在從那裡，把它帶回去。

All right.

好吧，我知道了

Okay, now we do one each okay?

好了，現在我們每人做一個好嗎？

Why would you become a cook?

你為什麼要當廚師？

(all laughing)

（所有的笑）

Come on, Norm, keep it together.

來吧，規範，保持它在一起。

It's not that bad.

沒那麼糟

Hey, big boy,

嘿，大男孩。

the word 'Chef'.

'廚師'一詞。

Yeah, chef, you're right.

是啊，大廚，你是對的。

Ladies cook.

女士做飯。

I know, I know.

我知道，我知道。

(Audience booing)

（觀眾噓聲）

It was a joke!

這是個玩笑！

(beep)

（嗶嗶聲）

All right, all right, cook it up.

好吧，好吧，煮起來。

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

嘿，嘿，嘿，嘿！

We can beep out the swear

我們可以嗶嗶地說髒話

but when there's this going around,

但是，當有這種情況發生時，

I can't do anything with that.

我不能用它做任何事情。

I was waving to someone over there.

我在向那邊的人招手。

I was waving.

我在揮手。

All right so we got the vegetables in the bag,

好了，我們把蔬菜裝進袋子裡了。

Okay, right, fennel.

好吧，好吧，茴香。

Fennel, the fennel goes in the bag.

茴香，茴香放進袋子裡。

Don't- we need the bag.

別... 我們需要這個包

I need the

我需要

bag!

包！

Stop it!

停下來！

Stop it!

停下來！

(beep)

（嗶嗶聲）

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

None of this will air.

這些都不會播出。

We're gonna show an old F-troop in this section.

這一節我們要展示一個老式的F-troop。

Right, so, fennel.

對，所以，茴香。

All right fennel in here.

好吧，茴香在這裡。

By the way, there's a bottle of booze.

對了，還有一瓶酒。

Oh hey.

哦，嘿。

Norm, you're supposed to be following me.

規範，你應該是跟著我。

All right, all right so we put oranges in here.

好吧，好吧，所以我們把橙子放在這裡。

And then from there, red mullet.

然後從那裡開始，紅色的鯔魚。

Red mullet is a kind of fish.

紅鯔魚是魚的一種。

Knife doesn't go in the bag.

刀子不放進包裡。

You'll slice his throat open more.

你會把他的喉嚨切得更開。

From there, a little bit of salt,

從那裡，一點點的鹽。

a little bit of pepper, olive oil.

少許胡椒粉，橄欖油。

Now from there, now watch carefully

現在從那裡，現在仔細觀察

a little bit of seasoning, okay.

一點點的調料，還好。

Norm, you're making me feel dizzy,

規範，你讓我覺得頭暈。

standing there, looking busy.

站在那裡，顯得很忙碌。

Right, here we go.

好了，我們走吧。

I'll tell you what, big man, I'm not ready to listen to

我告訴你，大個子，我還沒準備好聽你說什麼

(beep)

（嗶嗶聲）

(all laughing)

（所有的笑）

Stop, you haven't even tasted it yet.

別說了，你還沒嘗過呢。

Why are we even having a cooking segment at this point?

為什麼這時候我們還要搞一個烹飪環節？

Why would there even be a cooking segment?

為什麼還會有烹飪環節？

(audience cheering)

（觀眾歡呼）

Why would anybody even have

為什麼會有人甚至有

a cooking segment with you people?

和你們一起做飯？

No, hear me out.

不，聽我說完。

Right form the back over, nice and tight, okay?

右邊的表格後面，很好，很緊，好嗎？

And then from there, twist the paper.

然後從那裡開始，捻紙。

Twist the paper? All right.

捻紙？好吧，我知道了

Nice and tight.

又好又緊。

Aren't you glad that I hope he is a magician?

我希望他是個魔術師，你不高興嗎？

A bird's gonna come out, yeah alright.

有隻鳥會出來，是的，好的。

Now all the way around.

現在一路走來。

All right.

好吧，我知道了

Now from there, a little hole,

現在從那裡，一個小洞。

okay, and then from there, pour

好吧，然後從那裡，倒

a little bit of wine in there.

一點點的酒在那裡。

That's a big waste of wine, right there, buddy boy.

這是一個很大的浪費酒，就在那裡，哥們兒。

Okay and then from there, turn it around, okay?

好吧，然後從那裡，把它轉過來，好嗎？

(beep)

（嗶嗶聲）

What?

什麼？

(beep)

（嗶嗶聲）

Look, you gotta be tight.

你看，你得要緊。

He pointed at me and goes, 'Look what Norm did'.

他指著我說："看看諾姆做了什麼"。

We gotta treat it nice and tight.

我們得好好對待它

This is not gonna air, this is will never

這是不打算播出，這是永遠不會。

be seen by anybody.

被任何人看到。

This will never been seen by anybody.

這將永遠不會被任何人看到。

Just concentrate!

集中精力！

We've learnt

我們已經學會了

(beep)

（嗶嗶聲）

Okay, what does it look like at the end?

好吧，最後是什麼樣子的？

Oh, look. It just came out magically from a pan.

哦，看。它只是神奇地從鍋裡出來了。

This, is how it's cooked.

這，就是它的烹飪方式。

As it cooks, it steams inside the bag, okay?

煮的時候，它在袋子裡面蒸，好嗎？

Then you rip it open.

然後你把它撕開。

And then you got a beautifully steamed red mullet,

然後你得到了一個漂亮的蒸紅魚。

orange and fennel.

橙子和茴香。

It never gets better than that.

它從來沒有得到比這更好的。

Do it exactly the way we did, using the same language

用我們的方法做，用同樣的語言來做

and the same obscene gestures.

和同樣的猥瑣姿態。

Gordon Ramsay, Norm Macdonald.

Gordon Ramsay, Norm Macdonald.

My apologies everyone.

我向大家道歉。