we took a page from Major League Baseball,

我們借鏡了美國職業棒球大聯盟的做法。

and we filled our audience with cardboard cutouts.

我們用紙板剪紙填滿了我們的觀眾。

We had fans send in their photos, we put in cutouts,

我們讓粉絲髮來他們的照片，我們放上剪紙。

and we had a packed house the last couple of nights,

我們有一個擠滿了房子的最後幾個晚上。

maybe you've seen that.

也許你已經看到了。

But now it's standing room only.

但現在只能站著看了。

Check it out. Look at this.

看看吧看看這個。

[Andy] Wow.

[安迪]哇。

We have got I mean, the aisles are clogged,

我們已經得到了我的意思是，過道被堵塞。

[Andy] I know the aisles are just jammed.

我知道過道很擁擠。

I can't move, not just because it's crowded

我不能動，不只是因為這裡太擠了。

because that guy's behind me.

因為那傢伙在我後面

[Canon] Yeah I don't want to give him

是啊，我不想給他。

an excuse to leap.

躍的藉口。

Yeah, no.

是的，沒有。

Strike This is in unprecedented,

罷這是在前所未有的。

I've never seen in many years of doing this show,

我做這個節目這麼多年，從來沒有見過。

I've never seen this many people in an audience.

我從來沒有見過這麼多觀眾。

In fact, we've had some concern from the Fire Department.

事實上，我們已經從消防局得到了一些關注。

It's very dangerous.

這是非常危險的。

Yeah, this could be a fire code violation right now.

是啊，這可能是違反消防法規的權利。

[Andy] Right?

對嗎？

I know that a lot of you are concerned

我知道你們很多人都很關心

"Conan God forbid there should be a fire in the theater,

"柯南上帝保佑，劇場裡不要發生火災。

"would you be safe?"

"你會安全嗎？"

I wanna promise you all I can get out of here instantly,

我想向你們保證，我可以馬上離開這裡。

if I need to,

如果我需要。

even though there are lots of fans in the aisles,

即使過道里有很多粉絲。

I know how to take care of number one.

我知道如何照顧第一號。

Andy, do me a favor just say

安迪，幫我個忙，就說

"Conan, I smell smoke there could be a fire."

"柯南，我聞到了煙味，可能是火災。"

Conan I smell smoke there could be a fire.

柯南，我聞到了煙味，可能是火災。

Taj!

泰姬陵!

(carton rustling)

（紙盒沙沙聲）

Get me to of here!(carton rustling)

把我弄出去！(紙盒沙沙聲)

Get me out of here!(carton rustling)

讓我離開這裡！(紙盒沙沙聲)

I want out!(carton rustling)

我想退出!

Get me out!(carton rustling)

把我弄出去!

Get me out of here!(carton rustling)

讓我離開這裡！(紙盒沙沙聲)

I want out!

我想退出！

(door bangs)

(劉海)

(Andy laughing)

（安迪笑）

Well, thanks for tuning in, folks.

好了，謝謝大家的收聽，夥計們。

We'll be back tomorrow with more of whatever this is.

我們明天會帶著更多的不管是什麼東西回來。

(Canon panting)

（佳能氣喘吁吁）

Okay, that was a worthwhile exercise,

好吧，這是一個值得的練習。

I do hope I didn't offend any of my fans,

我希望我沒有得罪任何我的粉絲。

who sent in cutouts and just saw them crushed.

誰送來的剪紙，只見他們被粉碎。

On a sincere note,

真誠的說：

I do wanna say that these cutouts are helping me.

我想說，這些剪紙幫了我大忙。

I'm very appreciative that all of you,

我非常感謝你們所有人。

took the time to send in photos to give me an audience.

花時間發照片給我聽。

Really, sincerely I thank all of you, except one person.

真的，真心感謝大家，除了一個人。

That's right, his name is Caleb,

沒錯，他的名字叫迦勒。

and he's from Kansas City, Missouri.

他來自密蘇里州的堪薩斯城。

Look at him.

看看他

Caleb thinks he's so much better than me.

迦勒認為他比我強多了。

Got so much attitude Caleb.

有這麼多的態度，迦勒。

Who are you to judge me Caleb.

你有什麼資格評判我，迦勒

I'm out here trying day in day out,

我在這裡日復一日的努力。

whenever I come out on this stage, I see you, judging me.

每當我站在這個舞臺上，我就會看到你，在評判我。

Same look my father gave me every day of my life.

和我父親每天給我的表情一樣。

Here my name is Caleb.

我的名字是Caleb

I despise you.

我鄙視你。

It's you or me Caleb, one of us has to go.

不是你就是我，凱勒布，我們中的一個必須去。

There isn't room in this theater for both of us.

這個劇院裡沒有我們兩個人的空間。

Technically, there is, plenty of room your

從技術上講，有，有足夠的空間，你的。

too dimensional, take up much space but still,

太立體了，佔了很多空間，但還是。

I got my eye on you Caleb.

我看上你了，凱勒布

Caleb and I are going to lunch after the show.

迦勒和我要在演出結束後去吃午飯。

What are you doing that for?

你這樣做是為了什麼？

He's a cool guy. I like him.

他是一個很酷的傢伙。我喜歡他。

Oh, so suddenly you're Caleb's pal.

哦，所以突然間你成了Caleb的朋友。

Well, I'm not his pal,

好吧，我不是他的朋友。

he says lots of nice stuff about me and frankly, I like it.

他說了很多關於我的好話，坦白說，我喜歡這樣。

Okay, alright. Fine, be friends with Caleb.

好吧，好吧。好吧，是朋友與迦勒。

I will

我將