The universe is governed by two opposing forces.

宇宙是由兩種對立的力量支配的。

Order and chaos.

秩序和混亂。

Hey, it's like you and me whiz.

嘿，這就像你和我的惠子。

No, I mean literally.

不，我的意思是字面意思。

As legend goes for God to be good, there must be an equal force of evil to create balance.

就像傳說中上帝要想成為善人，必須要有同等的邪惡力量來創造平衡。

An evil found in an alternate dimension called the chaotic realm.

在一個叫做混沌界的另一個維度中發現的一種邪惡。

This is chaos.

這是混亂的。

But to keep his spot in the balance on Earth, chaos needed to choose a dark Lord to represent him.

但為了保住自己在地球上的位置，混沌需要選擇一個黑暗之主來代表他。

A dark messiah, if you will.

一個黑暗的彌賽亞，如果你願意。

As luck would have it, a perfect candidate would end up choosing him.

運氣好的話，一個完美的候選人最終會選擇他。

In the 11th century.

在11世紀。

Mathias Crunk feast was the strategic mastermind behind a company of nights alongside fellow commander and best friend Leon Belmont's.

馬蒂亞斯-克朗克大餐是與同僚指揮官和最好的朋友萊昂-貝爾蒙特的一個連夜的戰略主腦。

But as with most bromance, is it got screwed up by ah ho manse.

但就像大多數的兄弟情一樣，是它被啊豪曼斯搞砸了。

Broomstick have some tacked.

掃把有一些粘。

His wife died from Ah, horrible illness was a third wheel.

他的妻子死於啊，可怕的疾病是第三輪。

And I'm sorry, Wiz, but you can already tell this guy is evil because his name is math.

對不起，威茲，但你已經可以看出這傢伙是邪惡的，因為他的名字是數學。

I mean, I know we use math all the time to do the show, but sometimes one must embrace the darkness to see the light, right.

我的意思是，我知道我們一直用數學來做節目，但有時必須擁抱黑暗才能看到光明，對吧。

Anyway, Mathias grief was so intense he swore vengeance on God himself.

總之，馬蒂亞斯悲痛欲絕，他發誓要親自向上帝復仇。

To achieve his vengeance, Mathias sought the powers of God's polar opposite chaos.

為了實現自己的復仇，馬蒂亞斯尋求上帝極致相反的混沌之力。

So he set up a nisi six step plan.

於是他制定了一個尼西六步計劃。

Step one, pick up a red Rock of the Crimson Stone.

第一步，拿起一塊紅色的深紅石。

It will be important later.

以後會很重要。

Step to force death itself to become your personal secretary.

步逼死自己成為你的私人祕書。

Step three, Kill Luigi Step Poor.

第三步，殺死路易吉步差。

Convince the vampire named Walter to kill liens Fiance Because misery loves company.

說服那個叫Walter的吸血鬼殺了利安斯 未婚夫 因為苦難喜歡伴。

Step five.

第五步：

Let Leon murder poor Walt and half deaths of his soul into that red rock.

讓萊昂殺了可憐的沃特，把他的靈魂半死不活地塞進那塊紅石頭裡。

Step six.

第六步：

Congratulations.

恭喜你啊

You are now a vampire.

你現在是個吸血鬼

Got kids.

有孩子。

I hope you are paying attention.

希望你注意了。

From that day forth, Mathias rejected his humanity.

從那天起，馬蒂亞斯就拒絕了自己的人性。

He became a vampire and much more.

他成了吸血鬼，還有更多。

He was the dark Lord.

他是黑暗之主。

Dracula, you know, is all those steps seemed pretty familiar.

德古拉，你知道，所有這些步驟似乎很熟悉。

What do you mean?

什麼意思？

You've got that weird glowy red rug.

你有那個奇怪的紅色地毯。

That intern you hired always wears a black cloak and could really use some deodorant.

你僱傭的那個實習生總是穿著黑色的斗篷，真的可以用一些除臭劑。

And didn't you mention a college buddy named Count Jimmy?

你不是說有個大學同學叫吉米伯爵嗎？

Let me see your teeth.

讓我看看你的牙齒。

Wait.

等一下

What do you What?

你做什麼？

Show me your fangs show.

讓我看看你的獠牙

May I know they're there?

我可以知道他們在那裡嗎？

Get off.

下來吧

Shit.

媽的！

No, it's a normal canine.

不，這是一隻正常的犬類。

Dammit!

該死的！

Do you have anything that's interesting about you?

你有什麼有趣的事情嗎？

Well, I'm especially adapted getting my feelings hurt.

好吧，我特別適應讓我的感情受到傷害。

Dude, In next week for the full episode and maybe a little cry baby here, we'll have sucked it up.

哥們，下週看全集，也許還能看到一個小哭娃，我們就吸上了。