Cause that’s how you make a f*cking Robocop movie!

這才是他X的機器戰警電影該有的樣子

It’s been more than 20 years since Robocop appeared on the big screen

自從機器戰警出現在大螢幕上已相隔超過20年

, and now he’s back, with a flip-up visor,

現在，他回來了，還帶著可掀式的頭盔

different origin,

相對於原版

a human hand,

一隻人手

and a PG-13 rating?

和保護級？

Screw that.

去他的

Instead, revisit the original masterpiece that is...

撇開不談，來重溫原本的經典大作：

Robocop.

機器戰警

Journey to a futuristic Detroit that’s become a bankrupt crimeridden hellhole.

來看未來的底特律變成了強盜和犯罪的溫床

Basically present day Detroit.

根本就是現在的底特律

It’s a city crying out for a savior, and they’ll get one in Robocop, a blatant Jesus

這個城市需要救主，他們得到了機器戰警，很扯的耶穌

metaphor who’s killed,

影射他被殺

gets resurrected,

復活

and walks on water.

而且在水面上行走

But instead of dying for our sins, this Jesus shoots rapists in the d*ck.

但他不是替我們擔罪，這位耶穌射強暴者的鳥

Meet his gum-chewing partner Lewis, a terrible cop who never waits for backup,

來見見他愛嚼口香糖的夥伴露易絲，是個不等後援的爛警察

runs like a girl,

跑起來很娘

and can’t resist male nudity.

而且受不了男性肉體的誘惑

"Mind if I... zip this up?"

不介意我...拉起來？

Baaaaaalls.

蛋蛋~

Together, they’ll take down Old Detroit’s biggest bad guys:

他們將攜手打倒底特律的大壞蛋

Clarence Boddicker, a drug lord who’s got a real way with the ladies,

卡蘭斯，這位毒梟很會把妹

"Maybe you could, uh, fit me in."

或許你可以,,,幫我安排一下

Omni Consumer Products

全能產品公司

, an evil corporation that does everything except make consumer products,

一間邪惡的企業能生產除了產品外的任何東西

ED-209, a heavily armed killing machine who loses to a flight of stairs.

ED-209，一具重型軍用殺人武器敗給了一段樓梯

And glass.

還有玻璃

Robo-suit up for the ultimate awesome 80’s movie, full of...

全副武裝欣賞80年代的究極電影，充滿了...

big hair,

蓬鬆頭髮

cocaine,

古柯鹼

goons,

打手

Cold War paranoia,

冷戰妄想

and a no-nonsense black police captain.

和一位正經八百的黑人長官

"Now get out of my police station and take laughing boy with you!"

帶走這位傻笑男滾出我的警察局

So return to a time when action movies were made for adults but marketed to children.

回到那段時光，動作片給成人看但市場鎖定兒童

Featuring some of film’s best one liners...

造就了許多經典名句---

“Dead or alive, you’re coming with me.”

"不論死活，你都得跟我走"

“Your move, creep.”

"換你了，垃圾"

“I’d buy that for a dollar!”

"老爺我用一塊買了"

"B*tches leave."

"賤人給我滾"

And the Most.

和史上最多

Blood squibs.

爆血

Ever.

鏡頭

Guarantee you won’t see THAT in the remake.

我保證這在重製絕對看不到

Starring...

演出：

Daft Punk

傻瓜龐克

Bruce Jenner

布魯斯·詹納

Tough Lady Cop

悍嬌警察

Old 80’s Businessman

80年代老商人

Even Older 80’s Businessman

更老的80年代商人

Jordan Belfort

華爾街之狼

That 70’s Drug Lord

70年代的毒梟

Fox News

福斯新聞

and Lindsay Lohan.

和琳賽·蘿涵

Robocop.

機器戰警

Robocop is the last movie that needs a freakin remake.

機器戰警壓根不用重製

What are they gonna reboot next, Die Hard?

下次他們要拍什麼，終極警探？

Oh no! I’ve said too much!

噢不！我說太多了

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嗨，我是Screen Junkies，想看更多超讚的東西，請點下方的訂閱鈕