DID YOU GUYS WATCH LAST NIGHT?

你們昨晚看了嗎？

REGGIE, DID YOU SEE IT?

雷吉，你看到了嗎？

>> Reggie: I DID.

>> 雷吉：有。

>> James: YEAH?

>> 詹姆斯。YEAH？

WHAT DID YOU THINK?

你覺得呢？

>> Reggie: IT WAS ALARMINGLY MELLOW.

>> 雷吉：EN是驚心動魄的。

>> James: IT WAS.

>> 詹姆斯。是的。

YOU KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS LIKE?

你知道我覺得它像什麼嗎？

IT REMEANED ME OF A TIME THAT WE WERE GOING, I THINK ABOUT 13,

這讓我想起了我們去的時候，我想是13歲吧。

AND WE WERE GOING TO MY AUNTIE MARILYN'S AND I HAD BEEN QUITE

我們要去我的姑媽瑪麗蓮家，我已經很。

BADLY BEHAVED THE LAST TIME WE WERE THERE, RIGHT, AND I CAN

上次我們在那裡的時候表現得很糟糕，對吧，我可以

REMEMBER SO VIVIDLY, AND I ONLY REMEMBER IT WATCHING THE DEBATE

我記得很清楚，我只記得在看辯論的時候。

MY MOM GOING, NOW, NO MORE OF WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME.

我媽媽要走了，現在，沒有更多的什麼發生了最後一次。

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

你明白了嗎？

YOU'RE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR.

你是在你最好的行為。

ANY MESSING AROUND, ANY CHATBACK, ARGUING, FIGHTING,

任何亂七八糟的事情，任何哈拉，爭吵，打架。

THAT'S IT, WE'LL JUST GO.

就是這樣，我們就走吧。

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

你明白了嗎？

I SAID, YES.

我說，是的。

AND THE WHOLE TIME I WAS THERE, I WAS, THANK YOU, AUNTIE,

而我在那裡的時候，我是，謝謝你，阿姨。

MARILYN.

瑪麗蓮：

AUNTIE MARILYN, IS THERE ANY CHANCE I COULD HAVE A CUP OF

瑪麗蓮阿姨，我能不能喝杯咖啡？

TEA?

TEA？

THANK YOU, AUNTIE MARILYN, I REALTY APPRECIATE IT.

謝謝你，瑪麗蓮阿姨，我真的很感激。

THAT'S WHAT THE TWO OF THEM LOOKED LIKE ON THE STAGE.

這就是他們兩個在舞臺上的樣子。

THEY'D BOTH BEEN TOLD OFF.

他們都被告知了。

>> Reggie: YEAH.

>> 雷吉：YEAH。

>> James: I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHO THAT DEBATE WAS FOR.

>> 詹姆斯。我真的不知道那場辯論是為了誰。

MORE THAN 47 MILLION AMERICAN VOTERS HAVE ALREADY VOTED.

超過4700萬美國選民已經進行了投票。

WHO HASN'TMADE THEIR MIND UP?

誰還沒有下定決心？

I THINK PEOPLE ACTUALLY VOTED EARLY JUST SO THEY DIDN'T HAVE

我想人們實際上提前投票只是為了不需要

TO WATCH THAT FINAL DEBATE.

看那最後的辯論。

WATCHING THE AT THE BAIT?

在看《魚餌》？

NO, I'VE SENT MINE IN.

不，我已經送進去了。

I'LL BE WATCHING THE GIANTS-EAGLES GAME.

我會看巨人隊和老鷹隊的比賽。

HAVE A GOOD ONE.

有一個好的。

IT WAS FOR THE ONE REMAINING UNDECIDED VOTER.

是為了剩下的一個未決定的投票者。

I CAN TELL YOU HIS NAME IS CRAIG, HE LIVES IN DENVER, AND

我可以告訴你，他的名字叫克萊格，他住在丹佛，而且。

FUNNY FACT ABOUT CRAIG, HE IS AN (BLEEP).

克雷格的趣事，他是一個（嗶）。

( LAUGHTER ) LET'S TALK ABOUT THE DEBATE.

讓我們來談談這場辯論。

IT STARTED OUT PRETTY CIVIL WITH BOTH TRUMP AND BIDEN STAYING ON

一開始很文雅，特朗普和比登都留在了這裡

TOPIC.

主題：

THE FIRST SUBJECT WAS THE CORONAVIRUS EPIDEMIC WHICH LED

第一個主題是導致冠狀病毒疫情的原因。

TO THIS EXCHANGE -- >> WE'RE ABOUT TO GO INTO DARK

交易所 -- >> 我們要進入黑暗狀態了

WINTER, A DARK WINTER, AND EHE HAS NO CLEAR PLAN AND THERE'S NO

冬天，一個黑暗的冬天，和他沒有明確的計劃，也沒有。

PROSPECT THAT THERE'S GOING TO BE A VACCINE AVAILABLE FOR THE

有可能會有一種疫苗可用於治療癌症。

MAJORITY OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE BEFORE THE MIDDLE OF NEXT YEAR.

明年年中之前，大多數美國人民。

>> PRESIDENT TRUMP, YOUR REACTION, HE SAYS YOU HAVE NO

>> 特朗普總統，你的反應，他說你沒有。

PLAN.

計劃：

>> I DON'T THINK WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A DARK WINTER AT ALL.

>> 我不認為我們會有一個黑暗的冬天。

>> James: THESE GUYS ARE SO EMO.

>> 詹姆斯。這些傢伙是如此EMO。

DARK WINTER SOUNDS LIKE AN "AVENGERS" MOVIE OR A SEQUEL TO

黑暗的冬天聽起來像 "AVENGERS "的電影或續集

"THE HUNGER GAMES" THAT WILL NEVER BE IN THEATERS BECAUSE TO

"飢餓遊戲"，永遠不會在電影院，因為到

HAVE THE DARK WINTER.

有黑暗的冬天。

( LAUGHTER ) IT'S ACTUALLY GOING TO BE A

（笑）它實際上將是一個。

FAIRLY WELL LIT WINTER BECAUSE WE'RE ALL GOING TO BE STUCK

公平地照亮冬天，因為我們都會被困住。

INSIDE.

內幕：

FOR ANY YOUNGER VIEWERS, WHEN I SAY WELL LIT, I DON'T MEAN THE

對於任何年輕的觀眾，當我說WELL LIT，我並不是指的是那個。

WAY YOU MEAN LIT.

你的意思是LIT。

( LAUGHTER ) YOU KNOW, TIM KNOWS.

（笑）你知道，TIM知道。

( LAUGHTER ) TIM'S THE POINT REFERENCE

(笑) TIM'S THE POINT REFERENCE (笑)

WHENEVER I WANT TO GO, TIM, ONE OF THE YOUNG HIP AND GROOVY

無論我想去哪裡，TIM，一個年輕的HIP和GROOVY。

GANG GOING FOR.

岡去為：

AND HE'LL COME BACK GOING, OH, HE'S, LIKE, FLOSSING IN THE

他會回來的，哦，他是，喜歡， FLOSSING中的

CORNER AND -- ( LAUGHTER )

CORNER和 - （笑）

AT ONE POINT, PRESIDENT TRUMP WENT ON THE ATTACK AND ACCUSED

有一次，特朗普總統發起攻擊，並指責

BIDEN OF HIDING FROM COVID IN HIS BASEMENT.

比登在他的地下室裡躲避科維德。

>> WE'RE LEARNING TO LIVE WIT.

>> 我們正在學習如何生活。

WE CAN'T LOCK OURSELVES UP IN THE BASEMENT LIKE JOE DOES.

我們不能像喬那樣把自己鎖在地下室裡。

HE'S OBVIOUSLY MADE A LOT OF MONEY SOMEPLACE, BUT HE HAS THIS

他顯然是賺了很多錢的地方，但他有這個。

THING ABOUT LIVING IN A BASEMENT.

關於住在地下室的事情。

PEOPLE CAN'T DO THAT.

人們不能這樣做。

BY THE WAY, I, AS THE PRESIDENT, COULD DON'T THAT.

順便說一下，我作為主席，可以不這樣做。

I'D LOVE TO PUT MYSELF IN THE BASEMENT OR IN A BEAUTIFUL ROOM

我想把自己放在地下室或美麗的房間裡。

IN THE WHITE HOUSE AND GO AWAY FOR A YEAR AND A HALF UNTILT IT

在白宮裡，離開一年半，直到它。

DISAPPEARS.

消失。

>> James: YEAH, WE WOULD LOVE IT, TOO!

>> 詹姆斯。是的，我們也會喜歡它！

IMAGINE TRUMP DISAPPEARING LIKE THAT.

想象一下特朗普就這樣消失了。

AFTER HE SAID THAT, EVEN MELANIA LOOKED UP FROM HER MAGAZINE.

他說完後，連梅蘭妮亞都從雜誌上抬起頭來。

( LAUGHTER ) TRUMP SAID HE'D LOVE TO HIDE IN

特朗普說，他很想躲在

THE BASEMENT FOR A YEAR.

一年的地下室。

BUT I GUESS HE'LL HAVE TO MAKE DUE WITH HIDING ON A GOLF COURSE

但我想他必須要躲在高爾夫球場上才行。

FOR BASICALLY THREE YEARS.

基本上三年。

( LAUGHTER ) NOW, THE NIGHT STARTED OFF A

現在，晚上開始了一個

LITTLE SLOW, BUT THEN JOE BIDEN REALIZED EXACTLY WHO HE IS.

有點慢，但後來喬-比登意識到了他的真實身份。

>> HE'S A VERY CONFUSED GUY.

>> 他是一個非常困惑的傢伙。

HE THINKS HE'S RUNNING AGAINST SOMEBODY ELSE.

他以為自己是在和別人競爭。

HE'S RUNNING AGAINST JOE BIDEN.

他正在競選喬-比登的對手。

I BEAT ALL THOSE OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE I DISAGREED WITH THEM.

我打了所有其他的人，因為我和他們意見不一致。

JOE BIDEN HE'S RUNNING AGAINST.

喬-比登，他正在競選反對。

>> James: JOE BIDEN.

>> 詹姆斯:JOE BIDEN.

BIG BABY B.

BIG BABY B．

THE BIG MAN.

大人物：

THE SULTAN OF SLEEP.

睡眠的蘇丹。

COME ON, MY GUY!

來吧，我的傢伙！

EITHER JOE BIDEN FOUND HIS FIGHTING SPIRIT OR HE FORGET

無論是喬-比登找到了他的戰鬥精神，還是他忘記了。

THAT HE'S JOE BIDEN, BUT EITHER WAY, I'M PUMPED!

他是喬-比登，但無論哪種方式，我很興奮！

AT ONE POINT, THOUGH, TRUMP WENT AFTER BIDEN'S SON, HUNTER, AND

有一次，特朗普去找比登的兒子，獵手，和。

IMPLIED THAT BIDEN HIMSELF WAS INVOLVED IN SOMETHING UNETHICAL.

暗示比登本人参與了一些不合法的事情。

>> TO EVEN HAVE A STATEMENT THAT WE HAVE TO GIVE 10% TO THE BIG

>>甚至有一個聲明，我們必須給大公司10%的資金。

MAN.

男人：

YOU'RE THE BIG MAN, I THINK.

你是大人物，我想。

I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE YOU'RE NOT.

我不知道，也許你不是。

BUT YOU'RE THE BIG MAN, I THINK.

但我覺得你是個大人物。

>> James: THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

>> 詹姆斯。這沒有意義。

ANYTIME ANYONE -- THE ONLY TIME ANYONE USES THE PHRASE BIG MAN

任何時候任何人 -- -- 唯一有人使用PHRASE BIG MAN的時候。

IS IF THEY FORGET SOMEONE'S NAME.

是如果他們忘記了某人的名字。

YEAH, HOW YOU DOING, BIG MAN, BIG FELLA, TIM, REGGIE, BIG

是啊，你怎麼樣，大個子，大個子，大個子，TIM，雷吉，大個子。

( BLEEP ) PLAYER.

（嗶嗶聲）玩家：

( LAUGHTER ) I DON'T THINK JOE BIDEN IS THE

我不認為喬-比登是那個...

BIG MAN.

BIG MAN.

NO ONE LOOKS AT JOE BIDEN AND CALLS HIM THE BIG MAN.

沒有人看喬-比登並稱他為大人物。

IF I WAS GOING TO CALL HIM THAT, I WOULD CALL HIM, LIKE, SLICK,

如果我要這麼叫他，我會叫他，就像，滑頭。

NIGHT TIGER, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

夜老虎，你知道我的意思嗎？

( LAUGHTER ) >> Reggie: THAT'S GOOD.

(笑) >> 雷吉：很好。

>> James: TRUMP TRIED TO PORTRAY HIMSELF AS BEING TOUGH

>> 詹姆斯特朗普試圖把自己塑造成一個強硬的人。

ON RUSSIA SAYING THE UKRAINE ASKED FOR WEAPONS TO DEFEND

關於俄羅斯稱烏克蘭要求提供武器來保衛國家的問題：

ITSELF FROM RUSSIA BUT OBAMA AND BIDEN GAVE THEM SOMETHING ELSE

但奧巴馬和比登給了他們一些其他的東西。

INSTEAD.

而不是。

>> I SOLD WHILE HE WAS SELLING PILLOWS AND SHEETS, I TOLD TANK

>> 我賣的時候，他是賣枕頭和床單，我告訴TANK。

BUSTERS TO UKRAINE.

BUSTERS TO UKRAINE.

THERE HAS BEEN NOBODY TOUGHER ON RUSSIA THAN DONALD TRUMP.

沒有人比唐納德-特朗普對俄羅斯更強硬。

>> James: AND IF YOU'RE INTERESTED ON PILLOWS AND SHEETS

>> 詹姆斯。如果你對枕頭和床單有興趣的話

IT'S AVAILABLE AT HIS NEW OUTLET STORE BED, BIDEN AND BEYOND.

它可以在他的新OUTLET商店BED，BIDEN和BEYOND。

( LAUGHTER ) ONE OF THE BIG JAW DROPPING

其中一個大下巴掉下來的時候

MOMENTS TO HAVE THE NIGHT IS WHEN TRUMP SAID THIS.

有夜的時刻是特朗普說這話的時候。

>> NOBODY HAS DONE MORE FOR THE BLACK COMMUNITY THAN DONALD

>> 沒有人比唐納德為黑人社區做得更多。

TRUMP, AND IF YOU LOOK, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN,

特朗普，如果你看，除了亞伯拉罕-林肯之外。

POSSIBLE EXCEPTION, BUT THE EXCEPTION OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN --

可能的例外，但亞伯拉罕-林肯的例外 -- --

>> James: WOW.

>> 詹姆斯。WOW。

THE HUMILITY.

幽默感：

IT'S A TOSSUP, ABRAHAM LINCOLN ENDED SLAVERY, DONALD TRUMP --

這是一個兩敗俱傷的局面， 亞伯拉罕-林肯結束了奴隸制， 唐納德-特朗普... ...

MET KANYE THAT ONE TIME.

遇到KANYE那一次。

( LAUGHTER ) YOU KNOW, TRUMP SAYS NOBODY HAS

你知道，特朗普說，沒有人有。

DONE MORE FOR THE BLACK COMMUNITY, AND YOU CAN SEE THIS

為黑人社區做了更多的事情，你可以看到這一點。

BY HOW MUCH THE BLACK COMMUNITY COMES OUT TO SUPPORT TRUMP AT

看黑人社區在會議上有多少人出來支持特朗普。

HIS RALLIES.

他的集會。

( LAUGHTER ) BUT TRUMP DIDN'T START THIS.

但特朗普並沒有開始這個。

A LITTLE WHILE LATER HE HAD THIS TO SAY.

稍後，他有這樣的說法。

>> I AM THE LEAST RACIST PERSON.

>> 我是最沒有種族歧視的人。

I CAN'T EVEN SEE THE AUDIENCE BECAUSE IT'S SO DARK, BUT I

我甚至看不到觀眾，因為它是如此的黑暗，但我。

DON'T CARE WHO'S IN THE AUDIENCE, I'M THE LEAST RACIST

我不在乎誰在觀眾席上，我是最沒有種族歧視的人。

PERSON IN THAT ROOM.

在那個房間的人。

>> James: THAT ROOM MUFFIN PRETTY DARK BECAUSE HE COULD

>> 詹姆斯：那個房間裡的穆芬非常黑暗，因為他可以。

UPPT SEE THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN MODERATOR TEN FEET IN FRONT OF

上方看到非洲-美洲改良者在前面十英尺的地方。

HIM.

他：

THE LEAST RACIST PERSON IN THE ROOM.

房間裡最沒有種族歧視的人：

THAT WOULD ONLY BE TRUE IF HE WAS IN A SINGLE-STALL BATHROOM.

如果他是在單人浴室裡，那才是真的。

DONALD TRUMP, JR. WAS AT THE DEBATE MEANING DO DONALD TRUMP

唐納德-特朗普，JR.是在辯論的意思做唐納德-特朗普。

ISN'T EVEN THE LEAST RACIST PERSON IN THAT ROOM.

甚至不是在那間屋子裡最沒有種族歧視的人。

THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE WHO ARE RACIST DO, THEY COMPARE HOW NOT

這就是那些有種族歧視的人所做的，他們比較如何不。

RACIST THEY ARE.

他們是種族主義者。

THEN THEY GOT INTO THE ISSUE OF CLIMATE CHANGE, AND TRUMP

然後，他們進入了氣候變化的問題，和特朗普。

PAINTED A PICTURE OF...

畫了一幅畫... ...

SOME BIZARRE ARCHITECTURE.

一些奇異的建築。

TAKE A LOOK.

看看吧

>> WHEN HE SAYS BUILDINGS, I WANT TO TAKE THE BUILDINGS DOWN■

>> 當他說建築物時，我想把建築物拆掉■。

BECAUSE I WANT TO MAKE BIGGER WINDOWS INTO SMALLER WINDOWS.

因為我想把更大的WINDOWS變成更小的WINDOWS。

IF YOU HAD NO WINDOW, IT WOULD BE A FUNNY THING.

如果你沒有窗戶，那會是一件很有趣的事情。

>> JAMES: I GOT TO HAND IT TO TRUMP.

>> 我得把它交給川普。

THAT'S A FUNNY IMAGE.

這是一個有趣的影像。

BIG BUILDING, LITTLE WINDOWS-- THAT'S JUST CLASSIC COMEDY.

大建築，小窗戶，這只是經典的喜劇。

BUT THERE'S A VERY SIMPLE REASON WHY TRUMP IS AFRAID OF TINY

但有一個非常簡單的理由，為什麼特朗普害怕小... ...

WINDOWS.

WINDOWS。

THE MOST COMMON PLACE YOU FIND THEM IS IN A PRISON.

最常見的地方，你發現他們是在監獄裡。

TINY WINDOWS?

TINY WINDOWS？

>> Reggie: JAIL.

>> 監獄。

>> James: THAT'S RIGHT, IN JAIL, IN PRISON.

>> 詹姆斯。沒錯，在監獄裡，在監獄裡。

REGGIE, I WILL GIVE YOU $100 IF YOU CAN EXPLAIN WHAT TRUMP WAS

雷吉，如果你能解釋一下特朗普是什麼，我就給你100美元

TALKING ABOUT.

談到：

>> Reggie: I THINK, UH, HE'S TALKING ABOUT IN THE '80s,

>> 我想，呃，他說的是80年代的事。

WHEN THERE WAS A MANDATE BY FEDERAL LOCAL INSTITUTES SUCH AS

如果聯邦地方機構，例如：

SCHOOLS TO MAKE THEM MORE ENERGY EFFICIENT, THEY TOOK AWAY

學校為了使其更加節能，他們取消了。

PROBABLY 60% TO 70% OF THE WINDOW SIZE, AND IT WAS VERY

大概是60%到70%的窗口大小，而且它是非常的

TINY AND KIND OF DEPRESSING AND NOW WE SEE A REVERSAL ON THAT

小小的，有點壓抑，現在我們看到了一個復讀機上的。

TREND.

趨勢：

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> James: HERE'S THE THING

（歡呼聲和掌聲） >> 詹姆斯：這裡的東西

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> James: HERE'S THE THING

（歡呼聲和掌聲） >> 詹姆斯：這裡的東西

ABOUT WHAT YOU JUST SAW, RIGHT, NUMBER ONE, REGGIE WATTS,

關於你剛才看到的東西，對，一號，雷吉・沃茲。

SMARTEST GUY IN THE ROOM AND, NUMBER TWO, NOT ONE OTHER PERSON

最聰明的傢伙在房間裡，第二， 沒有其他人。

IN THIS ROOM KNOWS WHETHER THAT'S RIGHT OR NOT.

在這個房間裡，知道這是對的還是錯的。

( LAUGHTER ) AND WHAT WE'VE ALL DONE IS GO --

而我們所做的就是去 --

( LAUGHTER ) SOUNDS CONVINCING.

（笑）聽起來令人信服。

TRUMP THEN HAD THIS TO SAY ABOUT WIND.

特朗普當時對風有這樣的評價。

>> WE'RE ENERGY DEPENDENT.

>> 我們是能源依賴者。

I KNOW MORE ABOUT WIND THAN YOU DO.

我比你更瞭解風。

>> James: OKAY, EASY THERE CAPTAIN PLANET.

>> 詹姆斯。好吧，EASY有CAPTAIN行星。

YOU KNOW WHY TRUMP DOES KNOW MORE ABOUT WIND?

你知道為什麼特朗普對風的瞭解更多嗎？

FULL OF HOT AIR!

充滿了熱氣！

HIT ME, GUILLERMO!

打我，guillermo！

( RIM SHOT ) ♪

( RIM SHOT )

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ >> James: SO THAT'S IT!

>>詹姆斯。所以這就是它！

THAT IS IT, GUYS.

這就是它，夥計們。

NO MORE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES.

不再進行總統辯論。

WEWERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE THREE, WE ENDED UP WITH TWO, ONE WAS

我們應該有三個，我們最終有兩個，一個是。

ILL BEHAVED, NASTY AND OFF THE RAILS, THEOUT WAS BORING, IT

乖巧、下流、離經叛道，出了事很無聊，它

BASICALLY SUMS UP BOTH TO HAVE THE CANDIDATES.

基本上甦醒了兩個有候選人。

AND, NOW, AMERICA, IT'S UP TO YOU.

而現在，美國，這取決於你。