Thank you for having me.

謝謝你邀請我。

(audience continues cheering) (audience applauding)

(觀眾繼續歡呼) (觀眾鼓掌)

I have to just say I'm so happy.

我只能說我太高興了。

Ladies, please.(laughs)

女士們，請。 （笑）

I'm here all night.

我整晚都在這裡

I'm really excited to be on the show.

能上節目我真的很興奮。

Oh, thanks.

哦，謝謝。

It's a thrill.

這是一種刺激。

Oh cool, well, very nice having you here,

哦，酷，好，很高興你在這裡。

and so much to talk about.

和那麼多的話題。

I saw "Jarhead" the other day

我前幾天看了《罐頭》

with one the producers on the show and we loved it.

與製片人之一在節目中，我們喜歡它。

It was great, it's a very compelling movie.

很棒，這是一部很有說服力的電影。

You're great in the film.

你在電影中的表現很好。

And yet I'm reading all this press coverage of the movie

但我讀了所有這些媒體對電影的報道。

and it seems like everyone in the media is obsessed

似乎每個人都在媒體上是痴迷。

with this one specific part of the movie

這部電影的一個特定部分

where you dance around naked,

在那裡你裸體跳舞。

except for a strategically placed

除了一個戰略上的

Santa Claus cap. Oh yes, yes.

聖誕老人的帽子。哦，是的，是的。

(crowd cheering)

（人群歡呼）

First of all,

首先是：

powerful scene.

強大的場景。

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

Thank you. But you know,

謝謝你，但你知道嗎？但你知道的

are you finding that to be true too

你是不是也發現了這一點

that everyone wants to talk about that one scene?

每個人都想談論那一幕？

It is a tendency, yeah.

這是一個趨勢，是的。

People have a tendency to be interested in.

人們有一種傾向，就是對。

I show a little ass, so you know, you know,

我露出一點屁股，所以你知道，你知道。

I guess people respond to that somewhere.

我想人們會在某個地方做出迴應。

[Conan] Sure, sure, why not?

當然，當然，為什麼不呢？

But it's nothing normal, I mean, abnormal.

但這並不正常，我是說，不正常。

I mean, it's something I usually do.

我的意思是，這是我經常做的事情。

I enjoy being naked.

我喜歡裸體。

You see, that's a big difference between us.

你看，這就是我們之間的一大區別。

I am clothed at all times

我隨時都在穿衣服

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

and for good reason, All times?

而且有充分的理由，所有的時間？

Like all time even in the shower?

就像所有的時間，即使在淋浴？

I'm in the shower in this suit like

我穿著這套衣服在洗澡，就像... ...

(sings)

(唱)

but you are--

但你是...

(mumbles) That was Curly,

(喃喃自語)那是捲毛。

from "The Three Stooges".

來自 "三人行"。

Whenever he took a bath he was like,(sings)

每當他洗澡的時候，他就像，（唱）。

I'm an idiot, (laughs)

我是個白痴，（笑）。

but you're comfortable with your body.

但你對自己的身體很滿意。

Yeah.

是啊。

Clearly. When you go to the beach,

很明顯當你去海邊的時候。

are you kind of guy that would wear a Speedo at the beach?.

你是那種會在沙灘上穿Speedo的人嗎？

I mean, not really.

我的意思是，不是真的。

I don't like to wear a Speedo at the beach,

我不喜歡在海灘上穿Speedo。

but I have had my share of Speedo experience.

但我也有過Speedo的經歷。

Right. Right.

對，對對，對

At a young age I was dared,

在我年輕的時候，我是敢。

you know there's a the Speedo store,

你知道有一個Speedo商店。

there was a mall we used to go to

我們以前常去的一個商場

when I was a little kid called the Beverly center

當我還是個孩子的時候，叫比佛利中心。

in Los Angeles. In Los Angeles

在洛杉磯。在洛杉磯

Very well known mall.

非常知名的商場。

Yes, yes.

是的，是的。

So we would go there and there was a Speedo store there

所以我們會去那裡，那裡有一家Speedo商店。

and a friend of mine dared me actually at one point,

和我的一個朋友敢我其實在一個點。

to go into the store and to put on a Speedo

進入商店，穿上Speedo。

and to walk out of the store in the Speedo.

並穿著Speedo走出商店。

Wow. Not buy the Speedo, but walk out--

哇哦，不是買Speedo，而是走出去...不買Speedo，但走出去 --

No, no, no, steal the Speedo.

不，不，不，偷Speedo。

Right.

好吧，我知道了

And leave my clothes behind.

並留下我的衣服。

Okay, so you went in.

好吧，你進去了。

Did you do it?

你做了嗎？

I did it, Yeah.

我做到了，是的。

I walked out and I was arrested

我走了出來，我被逮捕了

by those Beverly center cops. (everyone laughs)

由那些比佛利中心的警察。（大家笑）

Yeah, Yeah.

是啊，是啊。

You know those rent a cop guys

你知道那些租警察的人

and it was really serious for them.

而這對他們來說真的很嚴重。

They don't see much action.

他們的行動不多。

Right.

好吧，我知道了

So it was really a big moment for all of us.

所以這對我們所有人來說都是一個重要的時刻。

So you were, but here's the important thing.

所以，你是，但這裡是重要的事情。

You were arrested wearing a Speedo.

你是穿著Speedo被捕的

It's one thing to be arrested

被逮捕是一回事

but how many people are arrested wearing a Speedo?

但有多少人穿著Speedo被捕呢？

Apparently. I mean, I guess not many.

顯然是這樣我的意思是，我想不多。

But it gave me experience for this movie

但它給了我這部電影的經驗

which I was really excited about.

這讓我很興奮。

Yeah, Yeah.

是啊，是啊。

And here's the worst part,

最糟糕的是

what if you were thrown in jail in a Speedo?

如果你穿著Speedo被關進監獄怎麼辦？

That would not be a good thing.

那就不是一件好事了。

(laughs)

（笑）

That would be an extraordinary experience.

那將是一次非同尋常的經歷。

No, not a good thing.

不，不是一件好事。

Now, I read that you were a lifeguard as a teenager?

現在，我讀到你十幾歲的時候是個救生員？

Yes, Yes.

是的，是的。

Oh, that's cool.

哦，這很酷。

Yeah, yeah.

是啊，是啊。

Were you a good life guard?

你是一個好的救生員嗎？

I'm (mumbles). I mean, yeah.

我（喃喃自語）。我的意思是，是的。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

I was good, good is a good word for it.

我很好，好字當頭。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

I didn't have a lot of experience in saving people

我沒有什麼救人的經驗。

and I didn't ever save a person in the water.

而我卻沒有在水中救過一個人。

You didn't save anybody?

你沒有救人？

Did you help anybody?

你幫過誰嗎？

Did you ever intervene and offer assistance in any way?

你有沒有以任何方式干預和提供幫助？

I did help somebody with a jellyfish thing once.

我曾經幫別人做過一次水母的事情。

Oh, those are kind of serious.

哦，這些都是一種嚴重的。

Well, I pissed on them.

好吧，我在他們身上撒尿。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

Can you say that? (audience laughing)

你能這樣說嗎？（觀眾笑）

I guess you can now, yeah.

我想你現在可以，是的。

No, you know there's like the acid base thing

不，你知道有像酸鹼的事情。

and I knew somewhere...

我知道某個地方...

I've heard that that's a thing

我聽說那是一種東西。

when someone's stung by jellyfish--

當有人被水母蜇到的時候...

You piss on them.

你在他們身上撒尿。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

I don't know if you piss on them--

我不知道你是否在他們身上撒尿 --

Does that do anything?

這有什麼用嗎？

Or is that just to take their mind off

還是說，這只是為了讓他們忘記

being stung by a jellyfish? (audience laughing).

被水母蜇了？（觀眾笑）：

Does it help in anything,

是否有什麼幫助。

No, no, they just like, "Hey men, what are you doing?"

不，不，他們只是喜歡，"嘿，男人，你在做什麼？"

"You're not thinking about the jellyfish."

"你不是在想水母的事吧。"

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

So really, did you do that?

那麼真的是你做的嗎？

Yeah, I pissed on their leg.

是啊，我在他們的腿上撒尿。

Yap. And it helped, it went away.

是的它的幫助，它去了。

And that was the extent of my life guarding experience, man.

這就是我一生守護的經驗，夥計。

Good for you that you could do that on command like that

很好，你可以在命令下這樣做。

I remember reading a--

我記得我讀過一個...

Just sounds like you're one of those guys that's like,

只是聽起來你是其中的一個傢伙，就像，

"You need me to go?"

"你需要我去嗎？"

"Here, I am."

"在這裡，我在這裡。"

(Jake hisses) (audience laughing)

（傑克嘶嘶聲）（觀眾笑）。

All right, well, what are you doing?

好吧，好吧，你在做什麼？

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

我很抱歉 I'm sorry.我很抱歉 I'm sorry.

I gotta walk over here for a bit.

我得在這裡走一走

(audience continue laughing) (audience clapping)

（觀眾繼續笑） （觀眾鼓掌）

I'm all right now. Okay.

我現在沒事了好吧，我知道了

(audience continue clapping)

(觀眾繼續鼓掌)

There are old people watching right now

現在有很多老人在看

with the sound down.

聲音小點

"What just happened" (audience laughing)

"剛才發生了什麼"（觀眾笑）。

I'm glad that you were able to help out.

我很高興你能幫上忙。

Yeah, me too, me too.

是啊，我也是，我也是。

That's, that's really good.(laughs)

那是，那是真的很好。（笑）。

Me too.

我也是

I understand that you're a big music fan.

我知道你是個音樂迷。

You listen to a lot of music.

你聽了很多音樂。

You're knowledgeable about music.

你對音樂很有研究

Yes, yes. I--

是的，是的，我...I--

Do you even show tunes.

你甚至顯示曲調。

Do you listen to show tunes

你會聽演出曲目嗎？

or is it mostly like, you know, cutting edge--?

還是主要是像，你知道的，最前沿的... ... ？

(Jake laughs) (audience laughing)

（傑克笑） （觀眾笑）。

Yes, I listen. I love show tunes.

是的，我聽。我喜歡錶演曲。

You love show tunes? Yeah.

你喜歡錶演曲？喜歡

That's good.

那就好

I was at the U2 concert the other night

我前幾天晚上去了U2的演唱會

and there was a segment I think in that song "Miracle drug".

有一個片段，我想在那首歌 "奇蹟藥物"。

(clears throat)

（清嗓子）

And Bono and The edge have this big stage they come out

和波諾和邊緣有這個大舞臺 他們走出來

and they walk towards each other

他們互相走過來

and there's sort of an instrumental part

還有一種是器樂的部分

and a Bono starts singing to the edge and it start singing,

和波諾開始唱到邊緣，它開始唱。

"Isn't it rich"

"是不是很有錢"

"Aren't we a pair" (mumbles)

"我們不是一對嗎"（喃喃自語）。

Right, right.

對，對。

And I was like, "That's from a little night music".

我就說："那是小夜曲裡的"。

(everyone laughing) I love that musical.

(大家笑)我喜歡那部音樂劇。

(everyone continues laughing)

（大家繼續笑）

And everyone at the U2 show was like,

在U2的演出中，每個人都喜歡。

"What is this, you know, chill out"

"這是什麼，你知道的，冷靜點"

Cool, dude. I love it.

酷，夥計。我喜歡它。

I was there (mumbles), say of the clowns.

我在那裡（喃喃自語），說的就是那些小丑。

It was like--

這就像...

(Conan laughing) (audience laughing)

（柯南笑）（觀眾笑）。

(audience clapping)

（觀眾鼓掌）

A very interesting moment.

一個非常有趣的時刻。

[Conan] I think it's cool.

我覺得這很酷