Name: 當愛情是自我背叛時，如何療傷？ (How to heal when love is self-betrayal)
Uploaded: 2020-10-24T02:06:15.000Z
Duration: 3 min 9 s

反身代名詞

No one has betrayed you more than yourself.

When my therapist first said this, I was like What?

當我的治療師第一次說這句話的時候，我就像什麼？

Usually, self betrayal is a habit carried over from childhood, often because you had to betray yourself in order to feel safe or loved by your caregivers.

通常情況下，自我背叛是一種從童年延續下來的習慣，往往是因為你為了感受到安全或被照顧者的愛而不得不背叛自己。

現在，爸爸，你看，我是一個權力。

This often manifests in adulthood, is pretending to be someone you're not Trade scene one take to mark on that.

這在成年後往往表現為，是假裝成一個你不是的人貿易場景一拿去標記上。

Hey, guys, looking for someone else to complete U s.

So you want to see if the puzzle piece fits talking about a day and by refusing to live in the present?

所以你想看看拼圖片是否適合談論一天，通過拒絕活在當下？

Listen, once I met the love of my life, get married, have Children, celebrate several decades of marriage until my spouse dies and or divorces me and then live out the rest of my days with my girlfriends who haven't died yet.

聽著，一旦我遇到了我一生的摯愛，結婚，生子，慶祝幾十年的婚姻，直到我的配偶死了，或者和我離婚，然後和我還沒死的女友們過完剩下的日子。

My therapist often says that love is self betrayal because in my limiting belief system, it is, I was raised to believe that I had to put aside my own wants and my own needs in order to be safe, accepted and loved.

我的治療師經常說，愛是自我背叛，因為在我的限制性信念系統中，是這樣的，我從小就相信，為了安全、被接受和被愛，我必須放下自己的願望和自己的需要。

My parents, of course, did not intentionally try to instill these beliefs in me, but ultimately, that is the messaging I got.

當然，我的父母並沒有刻意去給我灌輸這些信念，但最終，這就是我得到的資訊。

So how do you heal self betrayal when it's a habit that's been conditioned into you your entire freaking life?

所以，你如何治癒自我背叛，當它是一個習慣，已經條件反射到你的整個畸形的生活？

Well, my therapist says to try noticing and celebrating different ways in which you no longer betray yourself, including having a promise that you keep to yourself on a daily basis, no matter how small.

好吧，我的治療師說，要試著注意和慶祝你不再背叛自己的不同方式，包括每天對自己有一個承諾，不管多小，都要遵守。

Every single day is I just ask myself what I need.

每天都是我只問自己需要什麼。

Sometimes I need to just stop doing all of my work and just lay on the floor for a second when I'm overwhelmed.

有時候，我需要停止做所有的工作，當我不堪重負的時候，就躺在地上一秒鐘。

Sometimes it's to cancel that outing and stay at home so I could get some much needed rest.

有時是為了取消那次外出，呆在家裡，這樣我就可以得到一些急需的休息。

And sometimes it's pushing myself to go out because I know that I'll have fun and I really need the social interaction that day.

而有時候是逼著自己出去，因為我知道我會很開心，我真的很需要當天的社交活動。

But by promising to check in with myself and see where I'm at, and what I need.

但是，通過承諾與自己檢查，看看我在哪裡，我需要什麼。

I am learning and creating these neural pathways that I am now putting myself first instead of betraying my needs automatically to meet the wants of others or at least doing what I think they want me to be in order to be loved.

我正在學習和創造這些神經通路，我現在把自己放在第一位，而不是為了滿足別人的需求而自動背叛自己的需求，或者至少是為了被愛而做我認為他們想要我做的事情。

These very small acts of honoring yourself eventually add up and lead to some pretty big healing.

這些非常小的尊重自己的行為最終會累積起來，導致一些非常大的治療。

I'm Anaconda and thank you to square space for sponsoring today's video.

我是蟒蛇，感謝廣場空間對今天視頻的贊助。

Squarespace has an all in one platform to build a beautiful online presence and run your business, complete with marketing tools and analytics to have your website or online store be the best it could be.

Squarespace擁有一個一體化的平臺，可以建立一個美麗的在線存在和運行您的業務，完整的營銷工具和分析，讓您的網站或在線商店成為最好的。

For all of you who love to create audio content, You can use audio blocks, which allows you to embed audio on your site and tagged the audio for iTunes.

對於所有喜歡創建音頻內容的人來說，你可以使用音頻塊，它允許你在你的網站上嵌入音頻，併為iTunes標記音頻。

When your audio block is placed in a block, has a tongue twister and you can have multiple contributors receive selective access to your sites.

當你的音訊塊放在一個區塊中時，有一個舌尖上的，你可以讓多個貢獻者有選擇地接收你的網站。

Website manager And don't worry you on all the content that you put on the square space platform and they offer one click data portability.

網站管理員而且不用擔心你把所有的內容放在方塊空間平臺上，他們提供一鍵式數據可移植。

You can head to squarespace dot com for a free trial.

你可以前往squarespace dot com進行免費試用。

 And whenever you're ready to launch, go to squarespace dot com slash anna to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain with the offer code. 

每當你準備好啟動時，去squarespace dot com slash anna使用優惠代碼為你首次購買網站或域名節省10%的費用。