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  • Are you close to your dad?

    你跟你爸關係好嗎?

  • You guys close?

    你們關係好嗎?

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • I mean, look, I feel like you can love a parent and not always see eye to eye, you know?

    我的意思是,你看,我覺得你可以愛一個父母 但並不總是看到眼睛的眼睛,你知道嗎?

  • And I don't necessarily agree on women's autonomy, for example.

    而且我也不一定同意女性的自主權,比如說。

  • So I like to donate to Planned Parenthood in his name.

    所以我喜歡以他的名義捐給計劃生育組織。

  • Yeah, I performed.

    是的,我的表演。

  • I perform for them a couple times as well.

    我也為他們表演過幾次。

  • Isn't it weird?

    是不是很奇怪?

  • For some reason, comics always get booked to perform a charity events.

    不知道為什麼,相聲演員總是被安排去參加慈善活動。

  • Yeah, I've done it.

    是的,我已經做到了。

  • I have to say I've done charity events before and it's almost a Ziff.

    不得不說,我以前做過慈善活動,幾乎是齊夫。

  • The people booking it don't understand what comedy is because I always want to say to them afterwards, Comedy needs some kind of context, you know you need the room has to be prepared for comedy.

    預訂的人不明白什麼是喜劇,因為我總是想在事後對他們說,喜劇需要某種情境,你知道你需要房間必須為喜劇做好準備。

  • And sometimes if it's a really dark charity, they don't prepare the room in any way.

    而有時如果是真正黑暗的慈善機構,他們不會以任何方式準備房間。

  • Have you had that happen?

    你有過這種情況嗎?

  • Oh, my gosh.

    哦,我的天哪。

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • One year plant there.

    一年的工廠有。

  • I had asked me to come perform at their fundraiser, called the Birds and Bees bash.

    我曾邀請我去他們的募捐活動上表演,叫做 "鳥與蜜蜂"。

  • It was in Santa Barbara, California.

    那是在加州的聖巴巴拉。

  • It was a bunch of rich old people gathered together.

    那是一群有錢的老百姓聚在一起。

  • The throw money at the cost.

    扔錢的成本。

  • Beautiful thing.

    美麗的東西。

  • So it's like this swanky event and I slapped on a skirt, which is obviously a big deal for me.

    所以,就像這個奢華的活動,我穿上了一條裙子,這對我來說顯然是一件大事。

  • And so what's in this beautiful banquet hall?

    那麼這個美麗的宴會廳裡有什麼呢?

  • And they sent me down in the back next to Joanna Kerns.

    他們把我送到後面的喬安娜-柯恩旁邊。

  • You know who that is?

    你知道那是誰嗎?

  • Right?

    對吧?

  • Uh, she's a sitcom actress.

    呃,她是一個情景喜劇演員。

  • What is she?

    她是什麼人?

  • What was she on?

    她在幹什麼?

  • She was Mrs Seaver from growing pains.

    她是Seaver夫人,從成長的痛苦。

  • Oh, okay.

    哦,好吧。

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • Growing pains.

    成長的痛苦。

  • I'm a little old for growing pains.

    我有點老了,成長的痛苦。

  • Uh, okay, I do remember that show.

    呃,好吧,我確實記得那個節目。

  • I know who she is.

    我知道她是誰

  • Yes.

    是的,我知道

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • I was so excited.

    我很興奮。

  • And I sat down and she explained that she is going to give the keynote speech and then she'll bring me up to do 15 minutes of stand up.

    而我坐下來,她解釋說,她要做主題演講,然後她會帶我上來做15分鐘的站立。

  • So Joanna is up there talking about Planned Parenthood.

    所以Joanna在上面說著計劃生育的事

  • What it means to her and her family and a woman in the back of the banquet hall next to me at our table starts toe have ah, heart attack.

    這對她和她的家人意味著什麼 在宴會廳的後面,我旁邊的一個女人在我們的桌子上開始有啊,心臟病發作。

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • So Joanna is just She just keeps talking because she doesn't know what's going on in the back of the room.

    所以喬安娜只是一直在說話 因為她不知道房間後面發生了什麼。

  • Just like I can't always know what's going on in the back of every room I'm performing in.

    就像我不可能總是知道我表演的每個房間後面發生了什麼。

  • People could be in the kitchen right now making sweet, sweet love And I would have no clue Especially if it was, like, super slow like I like won't be able to hear him.

    人們可能正在廚房裡做甜蜜的愛,我不知道 特別是如果它是一樣,超慢,我喜歡不會能夠聽到他。

  • So join us up here talking.

    那就和我們一起在這裡聊吧。

  • This woman is having a heart attack.

    這個女人是有心臟病的。

  • I'm watching your have a heart attack.

    我在看你的心臟病發作。

  • But I'm also thinking, like what?

    但我也在想,像什麼?

  • Joke?

    開玩笑?

  • Something in itself, right?

    本身的東西,對嗎?

  • And then And ambulance comes very quickly, almost as if they knew there was, like a gathering of old.

    然後 救護車很快就來了,幾乎就像他們知道有,像一個老的聚會。

  • And they just, like, parked on the corner.

    他們只是一樣,停在角落裡。

  • So they Russian whenever it's an ambulance that drives around it.

    所以他們俄羅斯人只要是救護車開來開去。

  • If it seems like eight or more old people gather in one spot, it waits there for 10 minutes because they know they know something's going to go down.

    如果好像8個或更多的老人聚集在一個地方,它就會在那裡等上10分鐘,因為他們知道自己知道要出事了。

  • Got her a garage sale.

    給她找了個車庫銷售。

  • Oh, how did that just happen?

    哦,怎麼會這樣呢?

  • Did you hear that?

    你聽到了嗎?

  • No.

    不知道

  • Oh, someone just tried to call and I went to my computer anyway, So the ambulance comes very quickly.

    哦,剛才有人想打電話,反正我也去了電腦,所以救護車很快就來了。

  • They Russian?

    他們是俄羅斯人?

  • They put this woman on a stretcher because it was a heart attack.

    他們把這個女人放在擔架上,因為她是心臟病發作。

  • But it was like a low key heart attack.

    但這就像低調的心臟病。

  • She fell out of her chair and her husband was worried.

    她從椅子上摔下來,丈夫很擔心。

  • But as they're wheeling her out past our table towards the door, she looks at us and she says, I'm so sorry.

    但當他們把她從我們的桌子前推到門口時 她看著我們說:"我很抱歉

  • I'm fine.

    我很好

  • I'm so sorry.

    我很抱歉

  • Which, like, might be the epitome of being a woman.

    這,就像,可能是一個女人的縮影。

  • She's like, I'm sorry I interrupted with a heart attack.

    她就像,對不起,我打斷了心臟病發作。

  • I'm happy to die.

    我很高興死。

  • If that helps, I really will.

    如果有幫助,我真的會的。

  • I'll go die.

    我去死。

  • So this is when they have her outside the door.

    所以這時他們就把她關在門外。

  • And just then Joanna Kerns leans into the microphone and she says, Who's ready for some stand up comedy?

    就在這時,喬安娜-柯恩對著麥克風說:"誰準備好來點脫口秀了?

  • And I'm in the back of the room like So I get up.

    我在房間的後面,所以我站起來。

  • I'm weaving my way through the tables and my dumb skirt.

    我在桌子上和我的笨裙子裡穿梭。

  • The woman whose planned the event intercepts me.

    計劃活動的女人攔住了我。

  • She puts her hand on my shoulder.

    她把手放在我的肩膀上。

  • She's panicked and she's like, I don't know, maybe you should do less time like five minutes or something.

    她驚慌失措,她說,我不知道,也許你應該少做一些時間,比如五分鐘什麼的。

  • I was like, Lady, I'm doing 15 you know.

    我當時想,女士,我做了15你知道。

  • So I get up there in front of everyone felt like I really needed to address the situation you had.

    所以我在大家面前站起來覺得我真的需要解決你的情況。

  • Someone just had a heart attack, right?

    有人剛剛心臟病發作了,對嗎?

  • Right, right.

    對,對。

  • So I get up in front of everybody and I just say, Wow, I've done a lot of things to get out of donating money, but never that not everybody laughed.

    所以我在大家面前站起來,我就說,哇,我做了很多事情,為了捐錢出來,但從來沒有說不是所有人都笑了。

  • You know, it took It was it was potentially while it was potentially too soon.

    你知道,它是它是潛在的,而它是潛在的太早。

  • My dad, however very proud I bombed the Planned Parenthood.

    我的父親,然而非常自豪,我炸了計劃生育。

  • And if he had been, there would have been so happy.

    如果他是,就會有這麼幸福。

  • You know, I think I I don't know if I could top that, but I have something that was equally rough where I did a benefit.

    你知道,我想我... ...我不知道我是否能超越這一點, 但我有一些是同樣粗糙的地方,我做了一個好處。

  • And it was, you know, for people in the military.

    而這是,你知道,在軍隊的人。

  • And so the whole audience was packed with, you know, people who had served in the military very recently and and come back from Afghanistan or Iraq.

    所以整個觀眾席上擠滿了人,你知道的,人們誰曾在軍隊服務 最近,並從阿富汗或伊拉克回來。

  • And it was it was intense.

    而且它是... ...它是激烈的。

  • They showed this really intense film.

    他們播放了這部非常激烈的電影。

  • Then an honor guard came out and they said, Now we remember our fallen brothers and they played taps on a bugle.

    然後一個儀仗隊出來了,他們說,現在我們記住我們死去的兄弟,他們用號角吹起了拍子。

  • And then right after they finished playing taps of a voice on the microphone said, Ladies and gentlemen, Conan O'Brien e just walked out there.

    然後就在他們演奏完之後 麥克風上的一個聲音說:"女士們,先生們,柯南・奧布萊恩剛剛走了出來。

  • People are crying.

    大家都在哭。

  • Their heads were bowed way.

    他們的頭是低著的方式。

  • Need time between that?

    這之間需要時間嗎?

  • Yes and Mr Goofy You need something a something a little light, something a little.

    是的,高飛先生,你需要一些東西... ...一些輕的東西,一些小的東西。

  • Someone comes out with a harmonica and plays Monica.

    有人拿著口琴出來吹莫妮卡。

  • You know, I'm gonna pitch jock jams.

    你知道嗎,我要去投球的jock jams。

  • You know, just confuse the room with some high energy jock jams.

    你知道,只是混淆房間 一些高能量的Jock Jams。

  • You really think that's a punch up the jam?

    你真以為這是在打卡嗎?

  • Pump it up.

    泵起來。

  • Yeah, just blow out the room with some hot Tim's.

    是啊,只是吹出來的房間 與一些熱蒂姆的。

  • No, you can't follow tax with Jock Jam.

    不,你不能用Jock Jam來跟稅。

Are you close to your dad?

你跟你爸關係好嗎?

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A2 初級 中文 心臟病 發作 房間 喬安娜 救護車 女人

貝絲-斯特林不得不在一位觀眾心臟病發作後進行表演--TBS的CONAN。 (Beth Stelling Had To Perform Following An Audience Member Heart Attack - CONAN on TBS)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2020 年 10 月 24 日
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