I'm thrilled to be here, merry Christmas.

我很高興能來這裡，聖誕快樂。

And you know what?

你知道嗎？

Merry Christmas, as you know we're...

聖誕快樂，你知道我們... ...

Well, we're celebrating Christmas now

好吧，我們現在正在慶祝聖誕節

because frankly we're just not sure mankind

因為坦率地說，我們只是不知道人類的。

is gonna make it to December 25th.

是要讓它到12月25日。

Yeah, let's do it now.

是的，讓我們現在就做。

We don't want to miss our last Christmas.

我們不想錯過最後一個聖誕節。

And then we will know that this is our last Christmas

然後我們就會知道，這是我們最後一個聖誕節了

to which we can make that much more special.

到，我們可以讓這更特別。

So nice of you to dress up in the spirit.

你能把自己打扮得這麼精神，真好。

Doesn't it... Aren't you feeling Christmasy right now?

是不是...你不覺得現在很有聖誕氣氛嗎？

I am. I love Christmas and I still...

我喜歡我愛聖誕節，我仍然...

I don't think it's ever too early to start the music.

我不認為現在開始音樂還為時過早。

It is a little too early with the decorations, I think.

我想，這裝飾品有點太早了。

I'd get stick of them by Christmas Eve,

我會在平安夜前得到他們的棍子。

but I just love it.

但我就是喜歡它。

I love it, love it, love it.

我愛它，愛它，愛它。

Yeah. Well, we did this again.

是啊，我們又做了一次。好吧，我們又做了一次。

We're doing it now.

我們現在就在做。

Because we're not, we think things are just gonna come

因為我們不是，我們認為事情會來的。

to an end in about four weeks.

到約四個星期後結束。

Oh God. Oh Lord.

哦，上帝啊哦，上帝。

Good thing we can laugh about it, Conan.

好在我們可以一笑置之，柯南。

Can we though, can we?

不過，我們可以嗎？

I don't know maybe we can, we'll find out.

我不知道也許我們可以，我們會發現。

I can laugh at anything now I'm that medicated.

我現在吃了那麼多藥，什麼都能笑得出來。

You know there's... I have a little bit of a bone

你知道有...我有一點骨感

to pick with you Jane Lynch.

和你一起挑選簡-林奇。

Oh okay sure.

哦，好吧，當然。

And you're universally beloved.

而你也受到普遍的愛戴。

People love you.

人們愛你。

And I'm such a huge fan of your work,

而且我是你的忠實粉絲。

but I do have a complaint,

但我有一個抱怨。

which is, you've been on my show many, many, many times,

這就是，你一直在我的節目 很多，很多，很多倍。

and every time you're on my show,

而每次你在我的節目中，

you come out, you sit down

你出來，你坐下

and then you immediately start talking to Andy.

然後你馬上開始和安迪說話。

And you do that because you and Andy

你這麼做是因為你和安迪

have a prior relationship.

有前科。

You worked on a stage show years ago before I knew Andy.

在我認識安迪之前，你多年前就在舞臺上工作了。

You always sit down and you start talking to Andy,

你總是坐下來就開始和安迪說話。

and then you keep talking to Andy.

然後你就一直和安迪說話

This is an actual... This is the typical interview

這是一個實...這是一個典型的採訪

that I do with you where...

我和你一起做的...

Look at.. Not even making eye contact with me.

看...連眼神都不和我接觸

Not even looking at me,

甚至不看我。

only looking at Andy

只看安迪

and I find it very insulting.

而且我覺得這很有侮辱性。

Well, I'm sorry about that,

嗯，我很抱歉。

I wouldn't have thought that was true

我不認為這是真的

until I saw that photographic evidence.

直到我看到那張照片的證據。

But I'm sure we included you in the conversations, I'm sure.

但我肯定我們把你也包括在對話中了，我肯定。

I don't know. I think you just easily left out.

我不知道，我想你只是很容易被排除在外。我想你只是很容易被遺漏。

Is Andy there tonight?

安迪今晚在嗎？

Well, yeah, Andy's sitting in the audience.

嗯，是的，安迪坐在觀眾席上。

Hey Andy, can you hear me?

嘿，安迪，你能聽到我嗎？

Hi Jane?

嗨，簡？

Hey, how you doing?

嘿，你怎麼做？

I'm doing fine.

我很好

How's your dog.

你的狗怎麼樣了？

You've had her for a year now, right?

你養了她一年了吧？

Daisy. Yeah, a little over a year.

Daisy.是啊，一年多一點。

A little dollop a Daisy.

一小團菊花。

I love that dog. She's so cute.

我喜歡那隻狗。她是如此的可愛。

I love that you keep taking pictures of her

我喜歡你一直給她拍照

and posting it on Twitter, it's great.

並在微博上發佈，很不錯。

Yeah. Well she's very photogenic.

是啊，她很上鏡嗯，她很上鏡。

She's a very pretty dog

她是一隻非常漂亮的狗

and she just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

她只是不停地變得越來越大。

It's you know...

這是你知道的...

Would you say you're a dog person now?

你說你現在是屬狗的人嗎？

I didn't know why I was getting a pony when I got a puppy.

我不知道為什麼我養小狗的時候要養小馬。

Yeah. Would you say that you're a dog person now?

是啊，你會說你現在是個喜歡狗的人嗎？你會說，你是一個狗的人嗎？

Oh, absolutely.

哦，絕對的。

I always was.

我一直都是。

I have-- Shh.

我有 -- 噓。

He was talking about being a dog person. Go ahead what?

他說的是做狗的人。說吧什麼？

Yeah, no, yeah,

是的，不，是的。

I do, I've always been a dog person.

我是這樣想的，我一直是個愛狗的人。

You have-- I mean everything.

你有... 我是說一切

I love animals-- I do too.

我喜歡動物，我也是。

I would have cats if my kids weren't allergic, you know?

如果我的孩子不過敏，我會養貓，你知道嗎？

Mm-hmm, yeah.

嗯哼，是的。

I usually have cats, but they both passed away

我平時都有養貓，但它們都去世了

in the last couple of years,

在過去的幾年裡，。

but I do have two dogs.

但我確實有兩隻狗。

We usually have three. Believe it or not.

我們通常有三個。信不信由你

We have two Cocker Spaniels now.

我們現在有兩隻可卡犬。

And one of them is kind of an asshole

其中一個是個混蛋

and the other one is just really old and blind and deaf.

而另一個只是真正的老瞎子和聾子。

But we love them both equally. Yeah.

但我們同樣愛他們兩個。是啊 Yeah.

Andy, ask Conan if he's an animal person,

安迪，問柯南是不是動物人。

just so we can include him on this.

只是為了讓我們能讓他參與進來

Oh shit you're right.

哦，媽的，你是對的。

Hey Conan, you've got a dog, right?

嘿，柯南，你有一隻狗，對嗎？

Yes. I have two dogs.

是的，我有兩條狗。

Tell us about them.

告訴我們他們的情況。

Loki and Bosco. They're great dogs.

洛基和波斯克他們是好狗

But what kind of dogs are they Conan?

但它們是什麼狗，柯南？

They are Golden Retrievers.

他們是金毛犬。

Okay. Hey, your dog is a mix?

好吧，嘿，你的狗是混血兒？

Isn't she... Isn't Daisy a mix.

她不是...黛西不是混血兒嗎？

Isn't she like a mutt-- Yeah, she's a mix.

她是不是像一隻雜種狗... 是的，她是混血兒。

'Cause she's not a pure breed.

因為她不是純種。

I hating people get pure breeds that just...

我討厭人們得到純種，只是... ...

My Cockers are men-- I'm sorry.

我的Cockers都是男人... 對不起。

I'm cutting it off.

我要切斷它。

Jane, I think that you and I should talk

簡，我想你和我應該談談。

when there isn't someone interrupting us.

當沒有人打擾我們的時候。

Okay, I think that's probably a good idea, whatever.

好吧，我想這可能是個好主意，不管怎麼樣。

I'll get with you after the show.

演出結束後我再來找你。

Sounds great.

聽起來不錯

It's great to hear your voice.

很高興聽到你的聲音。

I'm sorry I can't see your face.

對不起，我看不到你的臉。

That's all right.

那就好