Crunchatize Me Cap'n.

Crunchatize Me Cap'n.

What does that mean?

這意味著什麼？

- Cereal.

- 穀類。

The breakfast of people who are too lazy to make anything.

懶得做什麼的人的早餐。

Cereal is one of the greatest things.

穀類是最偉大的東西之一。

And today I am going to be eating some British cereals.

而今天我準備吃一些英國的麥片。

And on the other end, I have sent Ada, BuzzFeed producer,

而在另一端，我已經派了Ada，BuzzFeed的製作人。

and real life British person, some American cereals.

和現實生活中的英國人，一些美國麥片。

And the two are surprisingly different.

而這兩者之間的差別也是出奇的大。

- I love cereal, because all you need

- 我喜歡麥片，因為你只需要

is milk, cereal and a bowl.

是牛奶、麥片和一個碗。

(upbeat music playing)

（歡快的音樂播放）

Cap'n Crunch. Oh my God.

Cap'n Crunch.我的天啊 Oh my God.

There's like a word search on the back.

後面好像有一個單詞搜索。

For each cereal doesn't have games with it.

對於每個麥片沒有遊戲與它。

I like the Captain.

我喜歡隊長。

Crunchatize Me Cap'n.

Crunchatize Me Cap'n.

What does that mean?

這意味著什麼？

Sugar.

糖。

Straight away.

徑直走。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

I see where this is going. I predict a good time.

我知道這是要去哪裡。我預測會有一個好時機。

Slaps.

啪啪啪

I can feel the sugar going through my veins.

我可以感覺到糖在我的血管裡流動。

I can see why people are into it.

我知道為什麼人們會喜歡它。

It tastes good, but like,

味道不錯，但像。

I don't know how you give this to kids

我不知道你是怎麼給孩子們吃這個的

before they go to school.

在他們上學之前。

Captain.

艦長

I salute you.

我向你致敬。

- Next up we got this monstrosity, Weetabix.

- 接下來我們得到了這個怪物，Weetabix。

The name Weetabix does not do it for me.

Weetabix這個名字不適合我。

How was this Britain's favorite cereal?

這個英國人最喜歡的麥片怎麼樣？

Even that logo, it's shaped like a capsule.

就連那個標誌，也是形如膠囊。

This is medicine.

這是藥。

I don't wanna eat medicine for breakfast.

我不想在早餐時吃藥。

This kinda fell apart a little bit.

這還真有點崩潰了。

Oops.

糟了

Let's try to get one intact one outta here.

讓我們試著讓一個完整的人離開這裡。

This looks like horse food.

這看起來像馬食。

I don't even know what's holding it together.

我都不知道是什麼在支撐著它。

Is it like sheer force of will?

是像純粹的意志力嗎？

I'm not giving this a fair shot.

我沒有給這個公平的機會。

Let's pour some milk into this.

讓我們把牛奶倒進這個。

Cause apparently you're supposed to let it get

"因為顯然你應該讓它得到

a little bit soggy or something.

有點溼漉漉的什麼的。

Mash it up with a big boy spoon.

用一個大男孩的勺子把它搗碎。

Let's see.

讓我看看

Oh it's just high on fiber, so much (bleep),

哦，就是纖維含量高，這麼多（嗶）。

so we're gonna be good.

所以我們會很好。

Soaking it in the milk makes it better.

浸泡在牛奶中會更好。

Somehow, this is growing on me as I eat more of it.

不知道為什麼，這東西吃得多了，我就越來越喜歡。

Yes it's a soggy mush,

是的，這是一種溼漉漉的糊狀物。

and yes it doesn't have really any flavor,

是的，它沒有真正的任何味道。

but like it's kind of satisfying to eat.

但像吃起來還挺滿足的。

- Grape-Nuts, which I don't know,

- 葡萄果，我不知道。

it's like something that your mom would like make you eat

就像你媽媽想讓你吃的東西一樣。

when you had like constipation or something.

當你有像便祕什麼的。

Damn, maybe I do need this Grape-Nuts

媽的，也許我真的需要這個葡萄果實。

cause I'm weak as (bleep).

因為我很虛弱。

It doesn't look great.

它看起來並不怎麼樣。

It tastes like the cardboard box it came in.

它的味道就像裝在紙箱裡的一樣。

Like it's not even softening up with the milk.

好像連牛奶都沒有變軟。

It's (bleep) solid, what is this?

這是（嗶）實的，這是什麼？

I'm chewing for so long.

我咀嚼了這麼久。

Power through power through power through.

權力通過權力通過。

Nah. Why, why would you do this to people?

沒有。為什麼，為什麼你會這樣對人？

- Honey Monster.

- 蜂蜜怪獸。

Ada said it was good.

阿達說很好。

She said she used to eat it when she was a kid.

她說她小時候經常吃。

It's got vitamins.

它有維生素。

Sorry.

對不起，我不知道

It's got vitamins.

它有維生素。

He's eyes are just staring deep into my soul and making me

他的眼睛只是盯著我的靈魂深處，讓我... ...

question all my life decisions up to this point

捫心自問

and really making me want cereal.

而且真的讓我想吃麥片。

Let's eat some Honey Monster.

讓我們吃一些蜂蜜怪獸。

This is a big box.

這是個大箱子。

This is what they'd call in America, a single serving.

這就是他們在美國所說的，一次服務。

I use the big boy spoon because I'm a big boy now.

我用大男孩的勺子，因為我現在是個大男孩了。

Mom.

媽

Yeah, the texture is definitely kinda like puffed rice.

是啊，口感絕對有點像泡飯。

The cereal is already starting to get soggy

穀類食品已經開始溼潤了。

and it's been in this bowl for like 20 seconds.

它一直在這個碗 像20秒。

This is not too sweet,

這不是太甜。

the honey isn't an overpowering flavor.

蜂蜜的味道並不濃烈。

You can still taste the grain underneath it.

你還能嚐到它下面的糧食。

It tastes like the healthy kinda sweet

味道是健康的那種甜

rather than the just sugary kinda sweet.

而不是僅僅是含糖的那種甜。

- Next on the list.

- 下一個名單上。

The old, Reese's Puffs.

老字號，里斯泡芙。

(chuckles)

（笑）

I know about Reese's chocolaty things.

我知道里斯巧克力的事情。

The only ones I've had were filled with like weed.

我唯一吃過的都是滿滿的像雜草一樣的東西。

When I went to LA.

我去洛杉磯的時候

So those are really fun.

所以這些都是非常有趣的。

I don't know if it's gonna give me the same

我不知道它是否會給我同樣的。

amount of excitement.

量的刺激。

(laughs)

（笑）

If you've got an allergy, this ain't for you boo.

如果你有一個過敏，這是不是為你噓。

That (beep) is potent.

這（嗶）是有力的。

You've got these little balls.

你有這些小球。

A dark ball and a light ball, unity.

一個暗球和一個光球，統一。

(music playing)

（音樂播放）

I think this cereal is all smell because the smell was like,

我覺得這個麥片都是有味道的，因為味道很像。

I've stuck two peanut butter chunks up my nose

我把兩塊花生醬塞進了鼻子裡。

and it's entered my brain.

它已經進入我的大腦。

But then the taste ain't that peanut buttery.

但味道就沒有花生醬的味道了。

I think it was quite nice.

我覺得挺好的。

It definitely wasn't as sugary as Captain Crunch .

它絕對不是像Crunch船長那樣的糖分 。

So it's like more of my level.

所以更像是我的水準。

That's my favorite so far because it wasn't too much.

這是我目前最喜歡的，因為它不是太多。

- Curiously Cinnamon.

- 奇怪的是肉桂。

This one reminds me a lot of like Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

這個讓我想起了很多像肉桂吐司脆片。

I like these little guys on it.

我喜歡上面這些小傢伙。

I like their eyes.

我喜歡他們的眼睛。

I always found it a bit weird when companies

我總是覺得有點奇怪，當公司

anthropomorphize foods that you're eating,

把你吃的食物擬人化。

because it's just like,

因為它就像。

"Why are you giving the thing that I'm eating a face?"

"你為什麼要給我吃的東西一個面子？"

Pour that cinnamon in there?

把肉桂倒在那裡？

There's like little patterns on the cereals.

穀類食品上有一些小圖案。

That's a lot like Cinnamon Toast Crunch,

這很像肉桂吐司脆片。

but these pieces are a little bit like puffier, I guess.

但這些作品有點像膨體吧。

They seem a little bit denser.

它們似乎更密一點。

I do really like it though.

但我真的很喜歡它。

Well, I'm 25 years old and eating cereal at 7:00 PM.

好吧，我25歲了，晚上7點還在吃麥片。

Thriving.

欣欣向榮。

As with the Honey Monster, the cinnamon flavor on this

和蜂蜜怪獸一樣，這款肉桂味的

isn't super overpower.

並不是超強的實力。

It's subtle enough that you still get the flavor,

它足夠微妙，但你還是能感受到它的味道。

but you can also taste the underlying grain of the cereal.

但你也可以品嚐到穀類的底層糧食。

Which is nice cause it kinda balances the sweetness out

這是很好的，因為它有點平衡甜味了。

a little bit.

一點點。

- So, Sour Patch Kids.

- 所以，酸奶娃娃。

Kids, you are gonna be buzzing your tits off

孩子們，你們會把你們的奶子弄得嗡嗡作響。

after you have is if you're going to school.

後，你有是如果你要上學。

Has a thing on the back.

背上有一個東西。

You wake up in a blank place crack then.

你醒來的時候，在一個空白的地方裂縫然後。

I'm so sorry.

我很抱歉

Oh my God.

哦，我的上帝。

You can not tell me,

你不能告訴我。

you guys are giving this to kids in the morning?

你們早上給孩子們吃這個？

I'm starting to understand America's health problems.

我開始明白美國的健康問題了。

I don't have to eat another one.

我不用再吃一個了。

That (bleep) sweet and sour like a Sour Patch Kid.

那（嗶）麼酸甜可口的樣子，就像一個酸奶小子。

You might as well just put the gummy bears

你還是把小熊軟糖放進去吧

and then put some milk on it.

然後放些牛奶在上面。

I'm sorry.

我很抱歉

I'm apologizing to my stomach.

我向我的胃道歉。

"You are gonna (bleep) yourself straight after this."

"說完這句話，你就會直接（嗶）自己。"

(bleep)

(嗶)

(laughing)

（笑）

I'm so sorry.

我很抱歉

I can't eat it.

我不能吃它。

The second that touched my it was like, "Nah."

第二個觸動我的是，"吶"。

I'm sorry I can't believe I just spat that out.

對不起，我不敢相信我剛剛吐出來的。

I cannot believe that this is even a product.

我無法相信這竟然是一款產品。

You guys are crazy.

你們都瘋了。

That was an experience.

那是一種體驗。

- Krave.

- Krave。

They're not even trying to disguise

他們甚至沒有試圖掩飾。

the fact that this is straight sugar.

事實上，這是直接的糖。

I was talking to Ada before this and she was like,

在這之前我和艾達聊過，她說：

"Oh, American cereals are so sweet."

"哦，美國的麥片真甜。"

And then you come at me with this.

然後你就用這個來對付我。

Literal just chocolate inside of cereal.

字面意思就是麥片裡面的巧克力。

I don't know what I expected.

我不知道我期待的是什麼。

It just tastes like milk chocolate wrapped in cereal.

味道就像裹在麥片裡的牛奶巧克力。

The actual cereal outside itself

實際的穀物本身之外

is actually pretty flavorless.

其實是很沒有味道的。

You break through into the chocolate and the chocolate

你闖入巧克力，巧克力

has such a strong, sweet flavor that you forget

有著濃郁的甜味，讓你忘記了。

that the outside was flavorless.

外表是沒有味道的。

I do like it, but it is so sweet.

我確實喜歡，但它是如此的甜蜜。

I'm definitely not gonna be able to eat

我肯定吃不下了

this whole bowl right now.

這整個碗現在。

If I were a child, I would think this was perfect.

如果我是個孩子，我會覺得這很完美。

I thought I wasn't gonna finish it,

我以為我不會完成它。

but I'm lying to myself

但我是在騙自己

if I say that I don't like sweet things.

如果我說我不喜歡甜的東西，

I am still a child I'm just trying not to be.

我還是個孩子，我只是在努力不讓自己變成孩子。

(upbeat music playing)

（歡快的音樂播放）

- American cereals, yeah.

- 美國麥片，是的。

You guys are doing too much.

你們做的太多了。

I hope Dakota has fun with the cereals that I sent to him.

我希望達科塔有樂趣 與穀物，我送他。

We went through sugar tax and then the government

我們經歷了糖稅，然後政府

sort of taxed the sugar more,

算是給糖多徵了稅。

and then like all of that stuff kind of got a bit blander.

然後像所有的東西 樣得到了一個有點平淡。

I might actually finish the Reese's Puffs

我可能真的要吃完里斯泡芙了。

cause that was hitting like that was really hitting.

因為那是打像 那是真的打。

But the rest of them,

但其餘的人。

I'm gonna give them to my boyfriend or I have siblings.

我要把它們送給我的男朋友或者我有兄弟姐妹。

- So what did we learn here today?

- 那麼今天我們在這裡學到了什麼呢？

We learned that British cereal

我們瞭解到，英國麥片

can be just as sweet as American cereal.

可以和美國麥片一樣甜。

I'm gonna say my favorite cereal today was probably

我想說，我今天最喜歡的麥片可能是：

Curiously Cinnamon.

奇怪的是肉桂。

Overall, I'm a pretty happy guy.

總的來說，我是一個很幸福的人。

I've got four boxes of cereal here that I can eat

我這裡有四盒麥片，我可以吃的。

for the next week or two for breakfast,

為未來一兩週的早餐。

and what's better than that?

還有什麼比這更好的呢？

Thank you so much for watching.

謝謝你的觀看。

Don't forget to like and subscribe and let me know

不要忘了喜歡和訂閱，讓我知道。

what your favorite cereal from your country is.

你最喜歡的穀物從你的國家是什麼。

Maybe I'll try it sometime.

也許我有時間會試試。

(upbeat music playing)

（歡快的音樂播放）