-This is it. What a -- what a year.

-這就是了。多麼... 多麼美好的一年

2020. It's been one of my favorites.

2020.這一直是我最喜歡的一個。

Uh... [ Laughter ]

呃... [笑]

There's --

有...

I can tell you one thing that is cancelled for sure --

我可以告訴你一件事，是肯定會被取消的----。

Coughing in public. That's over.

在公共場合咳嗽。結束了

You just -- you go into a restaurant

你只是... ... 你走進一家餐館

and just drink water wrong,

而只是喝錯了水。

you just got to get up and go to your car and drive home.

你只需要起床，去你的車，開車回家。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

The whole restaurant just stares at you.

整個餐廳就盯著你看。

It's going to be hardest on my parents, because my parents,

這對我的父母來說是最困難的，因為我的父母。

there's nothing more that they love than coughing in public.

他們最喜歡的莫過於當眾咳嗽。

It's one of their favorite things to do.

這是他們最喜歡做的事情之一。

I mean, I haven't had a conversation with my dad

我的意思是，我還沒有跟我爸說過一句話

in ten years without him choking the whole time.

在十年內，他沒有被噎住的時候。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

And you have to go -- anytime you go to a restaurant too now,

而且你必須去 -- 任何時候你去餐廳了。

they take your temperature.

他們把你的溫度。

It's just a teenager that doesn't know what he's doing.

這只是一個不知道自己在做什麼的少年。

Doesn't even hold it up near my head.

甚至沒有把它舉到我的頭附近。

He's just like, "45 degrees, you're good."

他只是想，"45度，你是好的。"

You're like, "Am I?"

你會說，"我是嗎？"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

He's not even fazed by it. He's like --

他甚至沒有被它嚇到。他就像...

I'm like, "Dude, I think I'm dead.

我想，"夥計，我想我已經死了。

That's not -- I should go to the hospital."

那不是--我應該去醫院。"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Everybody acts like they've already had COVID, too.

每個人都像他們已經有COVID，太。

Everybody's like, "I think I had it in February."

每個人都喜歡，"我想我在二月有它。"

You're like, "Did you?" They're like...

你會說，"你有嗎？"他們就像...

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

"I think so."

"我想是的。"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

I remember I sneezed a lot one week, and then...

我記得有一個星期我經常打噴嚏，然後... ...

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

There's --

有...

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

My wife and I, we have a -- we have an 8-year-old daughter,

我的妻子和我，我們有一個 - 我們有一個8歲的女兒。

and so we're having to do the virtual learning.

所以我們不得不進行虛擬學習。

And they're like, "Just do --

他們說，"只要做 -

you know, just teach her school stuff."

你知道，就教她學校的東西。"

You're like, "It's good.

你會說，"這很好。

I barely made it out of high school, let me give it a go."

我勉強從高中畢業，讓我試試吧。"

Uh...

呃...

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

And she's doing -- she's doing Common Core math.

她在做... 她在做共同核心數學。

She brought home new math.

她把新的數學帶回家。

That's what they want us to --

這就是他們希望我們...

I don't even know what this math is.

我都不知道這個數學是什麼。

And they're like, "Here's the new one."

他們就像，"這是新的。"

You're like, "Oh, great, I get to watch a 40-minute

你會說，"哦，太好了，我可以看40分鐘的電影了

YouTube video on Common Core math."

YouTube上關於共同核心數學的視頻。"

And it's not like the old math was doing bad.

而且老數學做得也不差。

It's doing great.

它做得很好。

It's not like we're getting incorrect change everywhere

又不是到處都有不正確的變化。

and we're just sitting there like, "This stupid old math.

我們只是坐在那裡一樣， "這個愚蠢的老數學，

I wish new math would come along."

我希望新的數學能出現。"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

If you don't -- I don't know if --

如果你不... 我不知道是否...

if you don't know Common Core math,

如果你不知道共同核心數學。

it's just basically a long way to get to the same answer.

基本上就是千篇一律的答案。

It's like -- it's like, how can we use the entire sheet of paper

這就像... 這就像，我們怎麼能用整張紙？

for this math problem?

對於這個數學問題？

And even when you break it down, you see old math sneak in there.

甚至當你把它分解開來，你會看到舊的數學偷偷地在那裡。

I mean, you're -- [ Laughter ]

我的意思是，你是 - [笑]

You're like, that was old math right there.

你就像，那是舊的數學就在那裡。

Just do that at the beginning

一開始就這樣做

and we won't even have to be in this.

我們甚至不必在這。

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

There is --

有 --

[ Applause ]

[掌聲]

I told my wife, "It's a long way to get to the same thing."

我對妻子說："路漫漫其修遠兮，吾將上下而求索。"

It would be -- if you came to my house,

這將是 - 如果你來我家。

and you knocked on the front door and you're like,

你敲了前門，你就像，

"Can I come in?" and I was like,

"我可以進來嗎？"我當時想，

"Could you walk around and come in through the back door?"

"你能不能繞著走，從後門進來？"

And you would be like, "Does the front door not work?"

你會說："前門不能用嗎？"

Like, "It works. It works fine.

像，"它的工作原理。它的工作原理很好。

I use it. Most people still use it.

我用它。大多數人還在用它。

But the new way is to go jump the fence,

但新的方式是去跳圍牆。

come in back, and then meet me back here."

後面進來，然後在這裡等我回來。"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

One thing my daughter does miss

我女兒很想念的一件事

is she was starting to ride the bus, which was very fun.

是她開始坐公車了，這很有意思。

And when she first started riding the bus,

而當她剛開始坐公車的時候。

we switched schools, and it was in first grade.

我們轉學了，那是在一年級的時候。

First day of school, we walked her to the bus stop.

開學第一天，我們送她到公交車站。

It was a very, very fun day.

這是非常非常有趣的一天。

And then at the end of the school day,

然後在放學的時候。

someone from the school called my cell phone.

學校有人打我的手機。

They have my wife's cell phone and they have my cell phone.

他們有我妻子的手機，也有我的手機。

So they called my cell phone and they said,

所以他們打我的手機，他們說。

"Hey, do you know what bus number

"喂，你知道幾路車嗎？

your daughter is supposed to be on?"

你的女兒應該是在？"

I said, "I'm her dad."

我說："我是她爸爸。"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

I was like, "This is how you thought --

我當時想，"這就是你的想法--"。

You saw a mom and dad's cell phone and said,

你看到爸爸媽媽的手機，說。

'I bet the dad knows'?"

'我打賭爸爸知道'？"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

"I mean, do you have parents?

"我是說，你有父母嗎？

Were you raised with a family?

你是在家庭中長大的嗎？

Have you ever seen families out before?

你以前見過家人外出嗎？

You thought, 'Let's call the husband,

你想，'我們給丈夫打電話吧。

I bet he knows.'? [ Laughter ]

我敢打賭，他知道。"？[笑聲]

Unless there's two husbands, you should never call a husband

除非有兩個丈夫，否則你千萬不要叫他丈夫

a day in your life.

在你生命中的一天。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

I -- I would rather you ask a lady

我... 我寧願你問一位女士

that doesn't know her walking by.

不知道她走過。

I think he could get to the bottom of it

我想他能查出真相的

quicker than I can."

比我更快。"

And finally, I just said, "All right, I'll get her.

最後，我就說："好吧，我去找她。

What's the name of the school?" Uh...

學校叫什麼名字？"呃...

All right, that's it for me. Thank you guys very much.

好了，我就這樣了。非常感謝你們。

Thank you. [ Cheers and applause ]

謝謝你。[歡呼聲和掌聲]

-Nate Bargatze.

-Nate Bargatze.

For tour dates and ticket info,

關於巡演日期和票務資訊。

go to nategargatze.com.

去nategargatze.com。