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  • My next guest, you know,

    我的下一個客人,你知道的。

  • from his multiple Comedy Specials on Comedy Central.

    從他在喜劇中心的多個喜劇特輯。

  • He's got a new album out.

    他出了一張新專輯

  • That is, animated thing I want talk to him about.

    就是說,我想跟他談的動畫事情。

  • Please welcome my friend, Kyle Kinane.

    請歡迎我的朋友,凱爾-基納恩。

  • Kyle, we have you?

    凱爾,我們有你嗎?

  • What's up, buddy?

    怎麼了,夥計?

  • Thank you for being here.

    謝謝你來這裡。

  • Well, not here anymore.

    好了,不在這裡了。

  • We used to be neighbors and then you just moved to Portland.

    我們曾經是鄰居,然後你搬到了波特蘭。

  • Yeah. You saw me posted up in front of the U-Haul

    是啊,你看到我在U-Haul的前面貼了一張紙。你看到我被貼在U-Haul前面了嗎?

  • the other day. Yeah.

    有一天。對啊

  • I didn't like California's up here.

    我不喜歡加州的這裡。

  • So I brought a lot of flannel, I brought axe.

    所以我帶了很多法蘭絨,我帶了斧頭。

  • Just tryna fit in with Portland.

    只是想融入波特蘭

  • I kept my face. Yeah.

    我保持著我的臉。對啊

  • I was gonna wear it and then I was wearing it for like,

    我本來要穿它,然後我穿了一樣。

  • a half hour and I lost enthusiasm for the bit.

    半個小時,我對這一點失去了熱情。

  • It is weird. What are you telling people?

    這很奇怪。你在跟別人說什麼?

  • Cause the neighbors are asking like, "What do you do?"

    因為鄰居們都在問:"你是做什麼的?"

  • And it's weird to be like, "I'm a comedian.

    而且很奇怪,就像 "我是個喜劇演員"。

  • "I moved from the Entertainment Capital to here."

    "我從娛樂之都搬到了這裡。"

  • I don't ever tell anybody I'm a comedian.

    我從來沒有告訴任何人我是一個喜劇演員。

  • What do you say?

    你說什麼?

  • I never want people to know that.

    我從來不想讓別人知道這些。

  • Cause then the expectations on.

    原因那麼期望上。

  • I just wanna be like, "Hey, that guy's pretty fun."

    我只是想說,"嘿,這傢伙很有趣。"

  • And then cause if people know you're a comedian

    然後,因為如果人們知道你是一個喜劇演員

  • and you're not fun, they're like, "This guy sucks."

    而你不好玩,他們就會說:"這傢伙太差勁了。"

  • That guy with a super pack is really fun.

    那個帶著超級揹包的傢伙真的很有趣。

  • Yeah. I'm just kind of the guy like,

    是的,我只是那種喜歡的人。

  • I'm just watering the lawn up here.

    我只是在這裡澆灌草坪。

  • Nobody knows anything about me. I've met the neighbors.

    沒有人知道我的任何事情。我已經見過了鄰居。

  • The mailman's already seen me nude once, that was a mishap.

    郵差已經看過我一次裸體了,那是個意外。

  • How's that happened?

    怎麼會這樣?

  • Well, I'm not used to living on the ground floor,

    好吧,我不習慣住在一樓。

  • you know, you live in an apartment,

    你知道,你住在一個公寓。

  • you're on the second floor and that's just nudity

    你在二樓,這只是赤裸裸的東西

  • all the time on the second floor.

    一直在二樓。

  • Cause nobody's looking, nobody's cares.

    因為沒有人看,沒有人關心。

  • That's too much. Vantage point.

    這也太誇張了吧。優勢點。

  • Here, I'm on the first floor forgetting

    在這裡,我在一樓,忘了。

  • and living my life regular.

    和生活我的生活規律。

  • And I thought, the laundry's in the garage.

    我想,洗衣房在車庫裡。

  • And there's windows on the garage door.

    而且車庫門上有窗戶。

  • I haven't seen that. Right?

    我還沒看到。對吧?

  • That's not city life, windows on a garage door?

    這不是城市生活,車庫門上的窗戶?

  • Get out of here.

    快離開這裡

  • Right. Well that's Portland, where everyone like,

    好吧,那是波特蘭那是波特蘭,大家都喜歡的地方。

  • has a roommate, that lives in the garage.

    有一個室友,住在車庫裡。

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • Well I was taking off all my clothes to put them into wash,

    我把所有的衣服都脫下來洗。

  • in the garage, you know, you're doing your laundry

    在車庫裡,你知道,你正在做你的衣服

  • and then you get to that point like, well,

    然後你到了那個點,就像,好。

  • what if all my clothes are clean at once?

    如果我的衣服一下子都乾淨了怎麼辦?

  • Oh yeah. I've been tempted to do that.

    哦,是啊,我一直想這麼做。我一直想這樣做。

  • But then, that's on the third floor.

    不過,那是在三樓。

  • So I have to like walk down shirtless.

    所以,我必須像走下來的襯衫。

  • I'm gonna be that guy in the building,

    我要成為大樓裡的那個人。

  • but that doesn't get thought.

    但這並沒有得到思考。

  • Now I'm in a house.

    現在我在一個房子裡。

  • And I can finally achieve that

    而我終於可以實現這一點

  • every single piece of clothing,

    每一件衣服。

  • clean at the same time feeling.

    同時乾淨的感覺。

  • So I disrobe. Yeah.

    所以我脫了衣服。對啊

  • Dunk the clothes, I figured I got three seconds window

    我想我有三秒鐘的時間,把衣服灌進去

  • just to dunk the clothes, get back in the house.

    只是為了浸泡衣服,回到家裡。

  • That's the same amount of time

    那是同樣的時間

  • that the mailman is walking up the driveway.

    郵差正走在車道上。

  • And I just, I looked at him

    我只是,我看著他

  • and he was wearing like some Oakley blades.

    他穿著像一些奧克利刀片。

  • So I'm sure his eyes saw it, but I couldn't judge it.

    所以我肯定他的眼睛看到了,但我無法判斷。

  • He kept a straight enough look.

    他保持著足夠的直視。

  • But, now is like the first week we were here.

    但是,現在就像我們來這裡的第一個星期。

  • So I dunno nothing.

    所以我什麼都不知道。

  • You got walked in by the cool mailman

    你被酷酷的郵差走進來了

  • who got into his lifted mail truck.

    誰上了他的升降式郵車。

  • Rolling coal out of the van.

    從貨車裡滾出煤來。

  • Did it take you a lot for you to move? I mean.

    你花了很多時間來搬家嗎?我是說...

  • First off, we didn't hire movers and I don't know why.

    首先,我們沒有請搬家公司,我也不知道為什麼。

  • I could have afforded that.

    我可以負擔得起的。

  • I just like, we'll do it ourselves.

    我只是喜歡,我們會自己做。

  • You know? You doing well.

    你知道嗎?你做得很好。

  • Stupidest thing I've ever done in my life.

    我這輩子做過的最愚蠢的事。

  • You pack so much stuff that you think you're gonna need.

    你帶了這麼多東西,你認為你會需要。

  • And then after you transport it, thousands of miles

    然後你把它運走之後,千里迢迢的。

  • and you're like, "Oh, I never needed this."

    你就像,"哦,我從來不需要這個。"

  • I didn't need this VHS collection of happy days.

    我不需要這個收集快樂時光的VHS。

  • I have no less than

    我有不少於

  • 200 different half full hotel moisturizers.

    200種不同的半全酒店保溼劑。

  • The cheapest moisturizer, it's always lemon scented.

    最便宜的保溼霜,總是檸檬味的。

  • Do you wanna smell like lemon?

    你想聞到檸檬的味道嗎?

  • Smell like lemon and just be slick

    聞起來像檸檬,只是光滑的

  • for a good part of your day.

    在你一天中的大部分時間裡。

  • I have so many of those.

    我有很多這樣的。

  • I think it's just white motor oil.

    我想這只是白機油。

  • There's no way, it never absorbs your skin.

    沒辦法,它永遠不會吸收你的皮膚。

  • Your skin is like, " I don't want that."

    你的皮膚就像,"我不想要這個"

  • All the antibodies and your body is like,

    所有的抗體和你的身體是一樣的。

  • "This shouldn't be in me."

    "這不應該在我身上。"

  • Why does this keep staining my shirts?

    為什麼這東西老是弄髒我的襯衫?

  • This can't be good for my skin.

    這對我的皮膚不好。

  • Why is this eating away at fabric?

    為什麼會蠶食布料?

  • If someone just has a lighter in the room,

    如果有人只是在房間裡有一個打火機。

  • I instantly busted the flames.

    我瞬間破除了火焰。

  • You smell like cotton balls with those ready to

    你聞起來就像棉花球一樣

  • start campfires when you're going camping.

    當你要去露營的時候,開始營火。

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • I have three different lip balms just on my desk.

    我的辦公桌上就有三種不同的脣膏。

  • All packed. This is great.

    全部打包。這是偉大的。

  • This is all packed. Unnecessary.

    這都是包裝好的。沒必要。

  • I got, I'm ready.

    我知道了,我準備好了。

  • I've got, like I said, I got an axe.

    我有,就像我說的,我有一把斧子。

  • Did you get a gun?

    你有槍嗎?

  • Cause it's the first time I've thought like,

    因為這是我第一次有這樣的想法。

  • "I totally am against gun control. Absolutely.

    "我完全反對槍支管制。絕對反對。

  • "They should be checked."

    "他們應該被檢查。"

  • But this is the first time where

    但這是第一次

  • it feels like a good purchase.

    感覺是一次不錯的購買。

  • It feels like a good purchase.

    感覺是一次不錯的購買。

  • Yeah. I bought a gun.

    是的,我買了一把槍

  • I bought a gun because you ever look at

    我買槍是因為你曾經看過

  • the people in line at the gun store, they're getting guns.

    在槍店排隊的人, 他們得到的槍。

  • That's why I got a gun.

    這就是為什麼我有一把槍。

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • It was muffin top creep and a Punisher t-shirt.

    那是鬆糕上衣和懲罰者T恤。

  • It's gonna be armed and I'll lose.

    它會被武裝起來,我會輸的。

  • I'm gonna lose the civil war.

    我將會輸掉這場內戰

  • But at least I wanna lose with some effort. You know?

    但至少我想努力地輸掉。你知道嗎?

  • It would make me feel more comfortable

    這讓我感覺更舒服

  • if the guys buying guns were a little more in shape.

    如果買槍的人身材再好一點。

  • Because they would at least try to do the fist fight before.

    因為他們至少會嘗試著去做之前的拳腳功夫。

  • But this, the line is like,

    但這,行是像。

  • well that guy's gonna go immediately for the gun,

    好了,那個傢伙的會去 立即為槍。

  • so he doesn't have to do stairs.

    這樣他就不用走樓梯了。

  • Yeah. You're just Indiana Jones

    是啊,你就是印第安納瓊斯你只是印第安納瓊斯

  • with the guy with the Symitar in the marketplace.

    和市場上那個拿著Symitar的傢伙。

  • He's gonna use it.

    他要用它。

  • Like shoot this guy like, "Well, come on man.

    就像拍這個傢伙一樣,"嗯,來吧,夥計。

  • "How about a little fair fight?"

    "來點公平競爭如何?"

  • It starts with a roast battle. Yeah.

    它開始於一場烤肉大戰。對啊

  • I mean, that's what we can bring to the table.

    我的意思是,這就是我們能帶來的東西。

  • You should be at roast battle.

    你應該去參加烤肉戰。

  • You should be able to take it.

    你應該能接受。

  • And there should be some sort of

    而且應該有某種

  • physical agility tests, that you should take.

    體能敏捷測試,你應該參加。

  • To be like, "You could try to throw one punch at least

    要像 "你至少可以試著打一拳

  • "before you go to the gun"

    "在你拿槍之前"

  • Throwing stars. That's nice.

    扔星星。這很好。

  • But you are right.

    但你是對的。

  • And that, it's the people that are buying guns.

    而這,就是買槍的人。

  • Well then, we want one. We're not gonna be like,

    那麼,我們想要一個。我們不會像,

  • "I have a sign. I'm gonna shame you on line."

    "我有一個標誌。我要在網上羞辱你。"

  • Like that doesn't win.

    像這樣不贏。

  • There are gonna be like, in the next 18 months,

    有會是這樣的,在接下來的18個月。

  • I'm sure there's gonna be so many like different,

    我相信會有這麼多喜歡不同。

  • I don't know like improve advisers and TV writers

    我不知道像提高顧問和電視編劇的水準

  • with accidental bullet wounds. Yeah.

    與意外的彈傷。是啊 Yeah.

  • I wrote on Carolina, the city.

    我寫的是卡羅萊納,這個城市。

  • And now I have a small militia operating out of Burbank.

    現在我有一個小規模的民兵組織在伯班克活動。

  • Oh my God. That went right through my air force one.

    哦,我的上帝。這直接穿過我的空軍一號。

  • I can't believe it.

    我真不敢相信

  • A break through. My new new balances.

    一個突破。我新的新的餘額。

  • It's a weird time now.

    現在是個奇怪的時代。

  • You'd think it would be easy to choose a side,

    你會覺得選邊站很容易。

  • cause one of the sides has Nazis.

    因為其中一方有納粹。

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • Remember those, those are back.

    記得那些,那些又回來了。

  • You'd think you'd be like,

    你以為你會像。

  • "Well, even if they got other stuff,

    "好吧,就算他們有其他的東西。

  • "that's like me, the Nazi thing kind of canceled."

    "這就像我一樣,納粹的事情那種取消。"

  • Well, but free ice cream every other Tuesday.

    好吧,但每隔一週的週二都有免費的冰激凌。

  • Hold on I love ice cream.

    等一下,我喜歡冰淇淋。

  • Wait a minute. All right.

    等待一分鐘。好吧,我知道了

  • Thought you guys have Nazis.

    還以為你們有納粹呢。

  • Man, even if they checked every box,

    男人,即使他們檢查每一個盒子。

  • Nazis are still on there, like I got to go the other guys.

    納粹還在那裡,就像我得去其他人。

  • It's the cartoon version.

    是卡通版的。

  • It's the first question on, who wants to be a millionaire?

    這是第一個問題,誰想成為百萬富翁?

  • Like that's the obvious joke answer, not the one with Nazis.

    就像那是明顯的笑話答案,而不是有納粹的那個。

  • I already look like I'm in some sort of bunker.

    我看起來已經像在某種地堡裡了。

  • Like I've just peered up the blinds.

    就像我剛剛窺視了百葉窗。

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • They're coming, man.

    他們來了,夥計。

  • It's the mailman.

    是郵差。

  • There's no way you shouldn't have shown up that time.

    那個時候你不可能不出現的。

  • He's in on it.

    他也有份

  • Well, that's what's funny about the mailman is that,

    嗯,這就是郵差的有趣之處,就是。

  • he came back the next day and I was out watering the lawn

    第二天,他回來了,我在外面澆灌草坪

  • and I had like a joke seventies outfit from a party.

    我有像一個笑話七十年代的裝備 從黨。

  • But I had very limited clothing up here,

    但我在這裡的衣服非常有限。

  • when we were living here over the summer.

    當我們住在這裡的夏天。

  • So I was just in cutoff Jean shorts

    所以,我只是在剪裁牛仔短褲。

  • and like a red mesh tank top.

    和喜歡的紅色網狀背心。

  • And I just looked like Philip Seymour Hoffman character

    我看起來就像菲利普-西摩-霍夫曼的角色。

  • from boogie nights, that I'm out there watering the lawn.

    我在外面給草坪澆水。

  • And he comes rolling up and like,

    而他來滾滾而來,喜歡。

  • all right, now I look like I'm just tryna

    好吧,現在我看起來像我只是試著去。

  • court this spell up.

    法院這個拼起來。

  • Like, Ooh.

    像,哦。

  • Right. Like the housewife that's like,

    好吧,就像家庭主婦一樣就像家庭主婦一樣。

  • "Oh, whoops, you caught me."

    "哦,哎呀,被你發現了。"

  • Hey there postman.

    嘿,郵差。

  • In nice kiddies.

    在好孩子。

  • What was the idea behind Portland?

    波特蘭背後的想法是什麼?

  • Because of all the cities,

    因為所有的城市。

  • I mean a lot of people make the move to Austin.

    我是說很多人都會搬到奧斯汀來住

  • Not many people are going from LA,

    從洛杉磯去的人不多。

  • which is not doing great right now,

    現在做的不是很好。

  • to Portland, which is at least media wise not going great.

    到波特蘭,這至少是媒體上的不走大。

  • Oh, well, I mean, we're in the burbs.

    哦,好吧,我的意思是,我們在郊區。

  • So, and I like the burbs. I grew up in the burbs.

    所以,我喜歡郊區。我是在郊區長大的

  • And when you grow up in the burbs,

    而當你在郊區長大時,

  • you feel like you're trapped

    你覺得你被困住了

  • and like nothing good ever came out of there.

    就像沒有什麼好東西從那裡出來一樣。

  • But then I left and I lived my life

    但後來我離開了,我過著我的生活

  • and now I'm back in the burbs.

    現在我回到了郊區。

  • I'm like, "Oh, I dig this place."

    我想,"哦,我挖這個地方。"

  • People respect a four-way stop sign.

    人們尊重四通八達的停車標誌。

  • There's good grocery stores.

    有好的雜貨店。

  • I got a grocery store, the solid hot bar.

    我有一個雜貨店,固體熱吧。

  • How do you feel about the hot bar Moses?

    你覺得熱巴摩西怎麼樣?

  • I feel great until they start like,

    我感覺很好,直到他們開始喜歡。

  • "We have orange chicken."

    "我們有橘子雞。"

  • I am like, "I don't think Von's

    我想:"我不認為馮的。

  • "knows what they're doing with orange chicken."

    "知道他們在用橘子雞做什麼"

  • I really, I would think anybody can do orange chicken.

    我真的會覺得誰都能做橙子雞。

  • I would, question them when they're like,

    我會,詢問他們,當他們像。

  • "Oh, question Von's."

    "哦,馮的問題。"

  • And I'm like, "This is goat cheese."

    我想,"這是山羊奶酪。"

  • Like you just found that cheese.

    就像你剛找到那塊奶酪。

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • You have no idea that's goat cheese

    你不知道那是山羊奶酪嗎?

  • That's just bad mozzarella.

    這只是壞馬蘇裡拉奶酪。

  • But never once have I eaten orange chicken

    但我從來沒有吃過橘子雞

  • and ever gotten a hint of what I thought was chicken in it.

    並曾經得到過一絲我以為是雞肉的味道。

  • Oh yeah, right?

    哦,是嗎?

  • Cause it's all. Yeah. It's all the butter.

    因為都是對,都是黃油

  • It's just candy. It's like movie candy.

    這只是糖果。就像電影裡的糖果。

  • Made out of poultry and that's not a complaint.

    用家禽做的,這不是抱怨。

  • That's not a complaint. It's not a complaint.

    這不是一個投訴。這不是一個投訴。

  • So you think it's gonna change your point of view at all?

    所以你覺得這能改變你的觀點嗎?

  • Because a lot of standup, I mean, you're always on the edge.

    因為很多站立,我的意思是,你總是在邊緣。

  • You're not living in great circumstances.

    你的生活環境不是很好。

  • Your life is always on the road.

    你的人生永遠在路上。

  • Do you think it's and then now you're in the suburbs.

    你認為這是,然後現在你在郊區。

  • I don't know. I just, maybe I need to let that go.

    我不知道,我只是...我只是,也許我需要讓它去。

  • But there is a thing of like, if I'm too comfortable,

    但有一個喜歡的東西,如果我太舒服了。

  • I can't do this outdated medium doesn't exist anymore.

    我做不到這個過時的媒介不存在了。