profits are way down this month. We need a gimmick to bring in customers.

這個月的利潤下降得厲害。我們需要一個噱頭來吸引客戶。

Do you lubbers have any ideas?

你們這些潤滑工有什麼想法嗎？

How about Mouthful of Clams Day?

口水蛤蜊日怎麼樣？

Everyone who shows up with a mouthful of clams, gets a free drink.

凡是帶著一口蛤蜊來的人，都可以得到免費的飲料。

Huh? Huh?

咦？咦？

Well, I was thinking more along the lines of live entertainment.

好吧，我更多的是沿著現場娛樂的思路來考慮。

That's it, a floor show!

就是這樣，一場地板秀!

No, wait, a talent show with your host, me.

不，等一下，一個才藝表演，你的主持人是我。

And I can see it now, your daughter Pearl with her name up in lights.

我現在就能看到 你的女兒珍珠的名字在燈光下閃閃發光

Hoppin' clams! A talent show!

跳舞的蛤蜊！才藝表演！

I'm talented! I'd better call the folks!

我是天才！我還是給鄉親們打電話吧！

Squidward, you've got a deal.

章魚哥，一言為定。

Make my little girl a star!

讓我的小姑娘成為明星！

We are now at the Krusty Krab Talent Show featuring the finest talent in the town...

我們現在是在蟹堡王才藝展示會上，請來了鎮上最優秀的人才... ...

Wow! A full house! There's Mom and Dad.

哇！滿座！有媽媽和爸爸。

They are gonna be so proud.

他們會很驕傲的

- I better get ready. - Alright, listen up people. Listen up.

- 我最好做好準備。- 好了，聽好了人。聽好了

Gather around everyone, chop, chop.

大家圍在一起，砍，砍。

Now, you may be thinking this is your one shot at the big time.

現在，你可能會認為這是你在大時代的一次機會。

Well, it's not. It's mine.

嗯，這不是。這是我的。

Hey, Squid! How about this for the show?

嘿，烏賊！這個節目怎麼樣？

The Amazing Mister Absorbency!

驚人的吸水先生!

Ta-da!

噠噠！

Ta-da!

噠噠！

No one is going to watch you engorge yourself

沒有人會看著你大吃大喝的

Please, Squidward, let me be in the show! I'll do anything!

求你了，章魚哥，讓我上節目吧！我什麼都願意做！

Anything! Anything!

任何事情！任何事情！

- So you really want to be in the show? - Oh, yes!

- 所以，你真的想在節目中？- 哦，是的！

Okay, you get to mop up afterwards. Now will you stop bugging me?

好吧，你可以在事後打掃衛生。現在你能不能別再煩我了？

So, this is what it feels like... the big time!

所以，這就是那種感覺... ...大時代!

With this mop, I shape my destiny!

有了這把拖把，我就能塑造自己的命運!

[applause]

[掌聲]

[clearing throat]

[清嗓子]

Good evening and welcome to the 1st annual Squidward Tentacles Talent Show.

晚上好，歡迎大家參加第一屆魷魚觸手才藝表演。

Sponsored by the Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty,

由蟹皇堡贊助，蟹皇堡的故鄉。

because no one else would give it a home

因為沒有人願意給它一個家

[laughing]

[笑]

Thank you.

謝謝你了

Our next act is living proof that nepotism is alive and well.

我們接下來的行為就是活生生的證明，證明裙帶關係是活生生的。

[laughing]

[笑]

Nepotis...

Nepotis...

Put your--

把你的...

[laughing]

[笑]

[laughing]

[笑]

Pearl.

珍珠。

Hooray!

萬歲！

My little girl is finally a star.

我的小女兒終於成了明星。

Give me a K-R-U!

給我一個K -R -U！

[screaming]

[尖叫]

Give me a S-T-Y!

給我一個S -T -Y！

[screaming]

[尖叫]

Krusty Krab!

甲殼蟹！

[screaming]

[尖叫]

Krusty Krab!

甲殼蟹！

[screaming]

[尖叫]

Krusty Krab!

甲殼蟹！

That's what I call talent!

這就是我所說的人才!

Thank you!

謝謝你！

My leg!

我的腿！

Thank you! Thank you!

謝謝你！ 謝謝你！謝謝你！

And now poetry...

現在是詩歌...

by Gary.

由加里。

[meowing]

[喵喵叫]

Oh, he has such a way with words.

哦，他有這樣的方式與文字。

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

現在，女士們，先生們，

the moment you've all been waiting for.

你們都在等待的時刻。

We've saved the best for last.

我們已經把最好的東西留到了最後。

[music playing]

[音樂播放]

[music playing]

[音樂播放]

[booing]

[噓聲]

Hey, Squidward, can I go on now?

嘿，章魚哥，我可以繼續了嗎？

Yeah, show's over!

是啊，演出結束了！

[booing]

[噓聲]

- Hey, yeah... - That's really not too bad.

- 嘿，是啊... ... 這真的不是太糟糕。

- Yeah, alright! - Oh my gosh!

- 是啊，好吧！- 哦，我的天哪！

[cheering]

[歡呼聲]

[cheering]

[歡呼聲]

[cheering]

[歡呼聲]

[cheering]

[歡呼聲]

[cheering]

[歡呼聲]

[cheering]

[歡呼聲]

[cheering]

[歡呼聲]

You did it, Squidward! What a great show!

你做到了，章魚哥！多麼精彩的表演！

Oh, my son's a star!

哦，我兒子是個明星！

Whoever knew he had such talent?

誰知道他有這樣的天賦？

[sighing]

[嘆氣]

[cheering]

[歡呼聲]