and guarded by a giant dragon who wouldn't let her go.

並由一條巨龍守護，不讓她走。

She is imprisoned and waiting for the brave prince to rescue her from the dragon once

她被囚禁起來，等待著勇敢的王子將她從龍的手中救出來。

for all.

為所有人。

The story is definitely made but it has some truth.

這個故事肯定是做出來的，但也有一定的道理。

In fact, this concept of aggressor, victim and the hero is far more common than you think

事實上，這種侵略者、受害者和英雄的概念遠比你想象的要普遍得多

and we face it every single day whenever we interact with people.

而我們每天只要與人交流，就會面臨。

Its known as The drama triangle.

其被稱為 "戲劇三角"。

It's a drama that drags everyone to toxic relationships where no one wins.

這部劇把大家都拖到了沒有人贏的有毒關係中。

Everyone in this triangle suffers one way or another.

在這個三角形中，每個人都會受到這樣或那樣的影響。

An aggressor is a dictator who blames the victim.

侵略者是指責受害者的獨裁者。

He shouts, pressures and demonstrates his power.

他大喊大叫，施加壓力，展示自己的力量。

His victim thinks of herself as a weak and powerless.

他的受害者認為自己是一個軟弱無力的人。

She believes that she can't do anything in the face of such an aggressor and quietly

面對這樣的侵略者，她認為自己什麼也做不了，於是悄悄地

accepts any criticism or insult.

接受任何責備或侮辱。

The victim always pities her self.

受害者總是可憐自己。

She doesn't feel responsible for what's happening to her so she simple simply waits for a hero

她不覺得自己要為自己的遭遇負責 所以她只是單純的等待英雄的出現

to rescue her.

來救她。

The rescuer is the gentleman that everyone loves.

救人者是大家都喜歡的紳士。

He literally can't stand and watch how the victim is getting oppressed, he will rush

他實在看不下去了，看著受害者被壓迫，他就會衝過去

to rescue her one way or another.

以某種方式來拯救她。

He never says "No" to people, always does more than he is expected and often offers

他從不對別人說 "不"，做的事情總是比別人期望的要多，而且經常提供

his help first.

他的幫助先。

But he is unhappy because he is busy taking care of others.

但他不快樂，因為他忙著照顧別人。

Let's take a real-life example.

我們舉個實際的例子。

One one side you have a strict parent, who shout and punish his kid for every little

一方面，你有一個嚴格的父母，誰喊和懲罰他的孩子每一個小。

mistake.

錯。

The Aggressor.

侵略者。

On the other side, you have a soft parent who takes absolute care of her child.

另一邊，你有一個柔軟的父母，她對孩子的照顧是絕對的。

She never punishes him, let him do whatever he wants, buy him whatever he asks for and

她從不懲罰他，讓他做什麼，他要什麼就給他買什麼，並且

closes her eyes when he does something wrong.

當他做錯事時，她會閉上眼睛。

He is an example of the rescuer.

他是拯救者的典範。

And in the middle, we have the victim who is the child.

而在中間，我們有受害者，他是孩子。

He either grows up rude, lazy, short-tempered and helpless or resentful and full of hatred

他要麼長大後粗魯、懶惰、脾氣暴躁、無奈，要麼怨天尤人、滿腔仇恨

towards his parents.

對他的父母。

This triangle of drama has no winners but why do we keep practicing it.

這場三角戲沒有贏家，但我們為什麼還要繼續練習。

The victim wants someone else to take care of him.

受害者希望別人來照顧他。

The rescuers feels good about himself when he takes care of the victim, and the aggressor

救助者在照顧受害者時，自我感覺良好，而侵犯者

feels superior when he demonstrates his power.

當他展示自己的力量時，他覺得自己很優越。

But at the end of the day, it leads to a never ending cycle of drama.

但到了最後，卻導致了一個永無止境的劇情循環。

In order to get out of this triangle, you have to be clear about your roles first.

為了擺脫這個三角關係，你必須先明確自己的角色。

With your friends you might be the aggressor who constantly criticizes them and insults

對於你的朋友，你可能是一個不斷責備他們和侮辱他們的侵略者。

them, to demonstrate your superiority.

他們，以顯示你的優越性。

At home, you suddenly transform into a rescuer who brings food on the table and solves all

在家裡，你突然變身為一個救世主，為大家送上食物，解決所有的問題。

the problems.

的問題。

However, in front of your short-tempered aggressive boss, you suddenly turn into the helpless

然而，在脾氣暴躁的老闆面前，你突然變成了無助的人，你的老闆是誰？

victim.

受害者：

So, how do you stop this triangle of drama?

那麼，如何阻止這種三角戲呢？

If you are the aggressor, you are probably raising your self-esteem at the expense of

如果你是侵略者，你很可能以犧牲自己的自尊心為代價來提高自己的地位。

others, which makes you look like a douchebag.

其他人，這讓你看起來像一個沖洗袋。

Stop criticizing, lower your expectations and be a little be more humble.

停止責備，降低自己的期望值，謙虛一點。

THat will make people respect you, and admire you and value more your opinion.

這樣會讓人尊重你，佩服你，更重視你的意見。

If you are the rescuer, stop taking responsibility for other people's problems.

如果你是救助者，就不要再為別人的問題負責了。

It sounds horrible but every time you decide on behalf of her, you are only making her

這聽起來很可怕，但每次你代表她做決定，你都是在讓她。

more helpless.

更加無奈。

Help people only when they ask for it.

有求必應，助人為樂。

Instead of playing the role of the hero, be the wise man who teaches how to fish instead

與其扮演英雄的角色，不如做授人以漁的智者。

of selling the fish every time.

的賣魚，每次。

And lastly, if you are the victim, stop blaming everyone around for your troubles, stop waiting

最後，如果你是受害者，就不要再為你的麻煩而責怪周圍的所有人，不要再等待了。

for someone to take care of you.

為有人照顧你。

Always ask yourself, what can I do to solve this problem, what can I do to improve the

常常問自己，我可以做什麼來解決這個問題，我可以做什麼來改善這個問題。

situation.

狀況。

If everyone is going to play his or her roles properly, we will have a better society and

如果每個人都能扮演好自己的角色，我們的社會就會變得更美好，也會有更多的人加入進來。

more fulfilling relationships.

更充實的關係。

If this video was helpful, make sure you give it a thumbs up, thanks for watching and I

如果這個視頻對您有幫助，請您一定要豎起大拇指，感謝您的觀看，我

will see you in the next one.

下一次會看到你。