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  • Squidward Tentacles used to host these bizarre,

    章魚哥觸手曾經主持過這些詭異。

  • yet awesome horoscope shorts

    但令人敬畏的星座短褲

  • that aired on Nickelodeon back in the day.

    當年在Nickelodeon上播出的。

  • Let's see what's written in the stars for these zodiac signs,

    讓我們來看看這些生肖的星星上都寫了些什麼。

  • as we uncover Squidward's olden day horoscopes

    我們將揭開章魚哥的舊日星相

  • from the vault.

    從保險庫中。

  • And now, Astrology With Squidward.

    現在是 "章魚哥占星術"。

  • [music playing]

    [音樂播放]

  • Today we explore Sagittarius, sign of the...

    今天我們來探討一下射手座,星座...

  • Eh, half horse, half guy with a bow and arrow.

    誒,一半是馬,一半是拿著弓箭的傢伙。

  • The good thing about Sagittarians, they have great aim.

    射手座人的好處是,他們的目標很明確。

  • No matter. I was voted most artistic in high school.

    沒有關係。我在高中時被選為最具藝術性的人。

  • Ouch!

    哎喲!

  • The bad thing about them, they poop while they're walking.

    他們的壞處是,他們一邊走一邊拉屎。

  • So never march behind them in a parade.

    所以在遊行中,千萬不要跟在他們後面行進。

  • Ah, POOP.

    啊,POOP。

  • My prediction for Sagittarius in the coming year:

    我對射手座未來一年的預測。

  • you won't eat enough green vegetables.

    你不會吃足夠的綠色蔬菜。

  • I'm Squidward your Nick Tune astrologer,

    我是章魚哥,你的尼克曲調占星師。

  • reminding you that if you smelt it, chances are you dealt it.

    提醒你,如果你聞到了,就有可能是你發的。

  • [playing clarinet]

    [演奏單簧管]

  • Say happy birthday to Taurus the bull.

    對牛牛金牛座說生日快樂。

  • Taurus is the most clumsy and oafish of all zodiac signs.

    金牛座是所有星座中最笨拙、最呆板的星座。

  • That's it!

    就是這樣!

  • [screaming]

    [尖叫]

  • They tend to break delicate objects just by walking past them.

    他們往往只要走過就會打碎脆弱的物品。

  • If no one ever invites you to their house, you're probably a Taurus.

    如果從來沒有人邀請你去他們家,你可能是金牛座。

  • No, this is Patrick.

    不,這是帕特里克。

  • From now on, only buy things made out of rubber.

    從現在開始,只買橡膠做的東西。

  • My prediction for Taurus in the coming year:

    我對金牛座未來一年的預測。

  • you will eat a wide variety of different foods.

    你會吃各種不同的食物。

  • [burping]

    [打嗝]

  • I'm Squidward your Nick Tune astrologer,

    我是章魚哥,你的尼克曲調占星師。

  • reminding you that no matter what your sign, you owe me five dollars.

    提醒你,不管你的招牌是什麼,你都欠我五塊錢。

  • [playing clarinet]

    [演奏單簧管]

  • This is Leo, sign of the lion.

    這裡是獅子座,獅子的星座。

  • Hear him roar.

    聽到他的吼聲。

  • [screaming]

    [尖叫]

  • The typical Leo has a voice as pleasant as a dental drill.

    典型的獅子座,聲音像牙鑽一樣悅耳。

  • [laughing]

    [笑]

  • Why aren't you laughing?

    你為什麼不笑?

  • If you have a Leo in your family, I suggest you move out or

    如果你家裡有獅子座的人,我建議你搬出去住,或

  • buy earmuffs.

    購買耳罩。

  • Correct!

    正確!

  • Leos often grow up to be junior high school vice principals.

    閏土們往往成長為國中副校長。

  • My prediction for Leo in the twelve months ahead:

    我對獅子座未來十二個月的預測。

  • everyone you know will get one year older.

    你認識的每個人都會老一歲。

  • I'm Squidward your Nick Tune astrologer,

    我是章魚哥,你的尼克曲調占星師。

  • saying my powers are as real as any other psychic's.

    說我的能力和其他靈媒一樣真實。

  • Say hello to Pisces, sign of the fish.

    向雙魚座打招呼,魚的星座。

  • If you're a Pisces, people don't trust you.

    如果你是雙魚座,人們就不信任你。

  • That's because Pisceans tend to lie all the time.

    那是因為雙魚座的人傾向於一直撒謊。

  • Even when they think they're telling the truth, they're not.

    即使他們認為自己說的是實話,也不是。

  • What?

    什麼?

  • For the Pisces who wants to stop lying, I have simple advice.

    對於想要停止說謊的雙魚座,我有簡單的建議。

  • Never talk again.

    再也不說話了。

  • I don't like your attitude, bub.

    我不喜歡你的態度,小傢伙。

  • My prediction for Pisces in the year ahead:

    我對雙魚座未來一年的預測。

  • your nose will keep working just fine.

    你的鼻子會繼續工作就好了。

  • I'm your Nick Tune astrologer, Squidward,

    我是你的尼克曲恩占星師,章魚哥。

  • reminding you that psychics will tell you good things if you tip them well.

    提醒你,如果你給他們好的小費,靈媒會告訴你好的事情。

  • [playing clarinet]

    [演奏單簧管]

  • Let's look at Gemini, sign of the twins.

    讓我們看看雙子座,雙子的星座。

  • If you're a Gemini, you probably experience déjà vu,

    如果你是雙子座,你可能會有似曾相識的經歷。

  • the feeling that this moment has happened before.

    感覺這一刻曾經發生過。

  • And you also experience déjà vu,

    而且你還會體驗到似曾相識的感覺。

  • the feeling that this moment has happened before.

    感覺這一刻曾經發生過。

  • [laughing]

    [笑]

  • This month, Gemini's moon is in Uranus.

    這個月,雙子座的月亮在天王星。

  • So, you smell funny.

    所以,你聞起來很有趣。

  • My prediction for Gemini, you'll experience déjà vu,

    我對雙子座的預測是,你會有似曾相識的經歷。

  • the feeling that this moment has happened before.

    感覺這一刻曾經發生過。

  • I'm Squidward your Nick Tune astrologer,

    我是章魚哥,你的尼克曲調占星師。

  • reminding you not to touch my stuff.

    提醒你不要碰我的東西。

  • Happy birthday to Cancer, sign of the crab.

    巨蟹座生日快樂,巨蟹的星座。

  • Not all Cancarians are crabby,

    並非所有的坎兒井人都是暴躁的。

  • but they are all good at causing problems and then blaming them on others.

    但他們都善於製造問題,然後歸咎於他人。

  • Cheer up, Mr. Krabs. Here's that washing machine you wanted.

    振作起來,蟹老闆。這就是你想要的洗衣機

  • Cheer up?

    振作起來?

  • How can I cheer up when you're spending all my hard earned cash?

    你把我辛辛苦苦賺來的錢都花光了,我怎麼能高興起來?

  • See! You just did it again.

    你看!你又來了

  • Lad, I can't help it if you're loose with other people's money.

    小夥子,你拿別人的錢放肆,我也沒辦法。

  • Many famous fibbers and elected officials are Cancers.

    許多著名的纖維人和當選官員都是癌症患者。

  • My prediction for Cancer:

    我對巨蟹座的預測。

  • This week, you will fall asleep seven times.

    本週,你將入睡七次。

  • Don't worry, you'll wake up.

    別擔心,你會醒過來的。

  • So, you tried to kill me over a little new age management, eh?

    所以,你想因為一點新時代的管理而殺了我,嗯?

  • I'm your Nick Tune astrologer, Squidward,

    我是你的尼克曲恩占星師,章魚哥。

  • reminding you that it is bad karma to eat animated seafood.

    提醒你,吃動畫海鮮是惡業。

  • Uh, let's just stop here.

    呃,我們就到此為止吧。

  • OK, so these horoscopes were a little too harsh.

    好吧,這些星座運勢是有點太苛刻了。

  • How are you going to live with yourself?

    你要怎麼跟自己過日子?

  • Maybe Squidward should just stick to the clarinet.

    也許章魚哥應該堅持吹單簧管

  • [playing clarinet]

    [演奏單簧管]

  • Squidward! We love you!

    章魚哥!我們愛你!

  • I love you, Squidward!

    我愛你,章魚哥!

  • You're my favorite!

    你是我的最愛!

  • [ringing]

    [鈴聲]

  • Alright, alright.

    好吧,好吧。

  • Time for another hideous day at work.

    又是可怕的一天工作時間。

  • Oh, just hang in there, gorgeous.

    哦,只是掛在那裡,華麗。

  • [playing clarinet]

    [演奏單簧管]

  • Your star will shine at the clarinet recital tomorrow.

    你的明星將在明天的單簧管演奏會上閃耀。

Squidward Tentacles used to host these bizarre,

章魚哥觸手曾經主持過這些詭異。

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B2 中高級 中文 SpongeBob 章魚哥 星座 單簧管 雙子座 演奏

Astrology w/ Squidward ♏️ LOST Shorts from the Vault | SpongeBob SquarePants

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    Summer 發佈於 2020 年 08 月 20 日
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