but I think he's ten minutes late right now

但我想他現在已經遲到十分鐘了

and I don't see him, so I hope I didn't get ghosted.

我沒看到他，所以我希望我沒有被鬼纏身。

( ringing )

（鈴聲）

Operator: Your call has been forwarded

接線員，你的電話已被轉接。 你的電話已被轉接

to an automated voice messaging system.

到自動語音簡訊系統。

Alex: Almost everyone knows what it feels like to be lonely.

Alex：幾乎每個人都知道孤獨的感覺。

( groans )

（呻吟）

And in 2018, nearly half

而在2018年，近半

the U.S. population reported

美國人口報告

feeling lonely regularly...

經常感到孤獨...

Woman: Loneliness is a major threat

女人： 孤獨是一個主要的威脅

to Americans' well-being.

對美國人的福祉。

...leading some experts to say that we're actually

......導致一些專家說，我們實際上是

in the middle of a loneliness epidemic.

在孤獨的流行中。

Woman: This rises to the level of true public health concern.

婦女。這已經上升到真正的公共衛生問題的程度了。

And we often make assumptions about the things that make us lonely.

而我們常常會對那些讓我們感到孤獨的事情做出假設。

But research has shown that the amount of time that we spend with other people...

但研究表明，我們花在別人身上的時間... ...

Did this make you less lonely?

這讓你不那麼寂寞了嗎？

...and the quality of our social skills

...和我們的社交技能的品質。

don't really make a difference.

沒有真正的區別。

Loneliness may be a greater fear than death.

孤獨可能比死亡更可怕。

So why do so many of us feel lonely?

那麼，為什麼我們很多人都會感到孤獨呢？

And what should we do about it?

那我們應該怎麼做呢？

( music playing )

（音樂播放）

So, how many friends do you have? Like, close friends.

那麼，你有多少朋友？比如，親密的朋友。

Probably, like, 10 or 15 really close friends,

也許，像，10或15真正的親密朋友。

- who I talk to weekly, at least. - Wow.

- 我跟誰每週，至少。- 哇哦

Christophe: But I do feel that changing.

克里斯托弗但我確實感覺到了這種變化。

- Got out of college pretty recently... - Ahh, I see.

- 最近才從大學畢業...

...and a lot of these people

...而這些人中有很多

I'm starting to not see that much anymore.

我開始不怎麼看了。

Alex: When I got out of college, I would say I had

亞歷克斯：當我從大學畢業後，我會說，我有。

- eight to nine good friends. - Yeah.

- 八到九個好朋友。- 對啊

And out of those eight to nine, only one is left.

而在這八到九個人中，只剩下一個人。

As a guy myself, I'm more reluctant to reach out

我自己也是個男的，我更不願意去接觸

- and put myself out there. - Yeah.

- 並把自己在那裡。- 是啊 Yeah.

Christophe: From the studies that I've read,

克里斯托夫從我讀過的研究來看

there isn't a conclusive difference

莫衷一是

in loneliness rates between men and women.

男女之間的孤獨率；

But there is some evidence that women are more comfortable

但也有一些證據表明，女性更容易受到影響

admitting that they're lonely.

承認他們是孤獨的。

Alex: And loneliness is something I've dealt with

孤獨感是我一直在處理的問題。

- all my life. - Yeah.

- 所有我的生活。- 對啊

So I'm gonna take it on. I'm gonna go online,

所以，我要接受它。我要去網上。

see if I can make new friends using an app,

看看我能不能用一個應用交到新朋友。

and maybe that's gonna help out with the loneliness.

也許這是要去 幫助出孤獨。

I swiped through, like, 200 dudes.

我刷了大概200個花花公子。

- Really? And he was the one? - And he was the one.

- 真的嗎？ 他就是那個人？他就是那個人？- 他就是那個人

So I'm going to a restaurant to meet with Maximilian.

所以我要去餐廳見馬克西米利安。

- I'm a little nervous. - What are you nervous about?

- 我有點緊張。- 你緊張什麼？

- Will we click? - Right.

- 我們會點擊嗎？- 好的

Just be yourself.

做自己就好。

Smile.

笑一笑

Not like that. That's--

不是這樣的，那是...那是...

- See you, dude. - Stay dry.

- 再見，夥計。- 保持乾燥。

Hey. You're Alex, right?

嘿，你是亞歷克斯，對吧？

- Are you Maximilian? - Yes.

- 你是馬克西米利安嗎？- 是的，我是馬克西米利安

- Good to meet you, man. - Good to meet you, man.

- 很高興見到你，夥計。- 很高興見到你，夥計。

- After you. - Thanks, brother.

- 你先請- 謝謝你，兄弟。

Yeah, dating is normal using the app.

是啊，用這個APP約會很正常。

But making friends using the app is kind of--

但用這個應用交朋友有點... ...

people see it as weird, I guess.

人們認為這是奇怪的，我猜。

Everything about what we're doing is weird.

我們所做的一切都很奇怪。

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

是的，是的，沒錯是啊，是啊，沒錯。

What do you do when you're feeling lonely?

當你感到孤獨的時候，你會怎麼做？

I don't know. I can't answer that, dude. I don't know.

我不知道，我不能回答，老兄 I don't know.我不能回答這個問題，夥計。我不知道，我不能回答，夥計。

I just feel that, to be totally honest.

我只是覺得，說實話。

A couple weeks ago, I was really vibing with this guy

幾周前，我和這個傢伙在一起，很有默契

'cause we shared so much in common.

因為我們有很多共同點

I was just like, "Hey, we should hang out,"

我只是想，"嘿，我們應該掛出，"

like in the middle of a conversation.

就像在談話中。

And he was kind of taken back by it, I could tell.

我看得出來，他有點回不過神來。

Like, he wasn't disgusted, but I just feel like he'd never been--

他並不討厭，但我只是覺得他從來沒有... ...

- nobody's ever said that to him. - Oh, no!

- 沒有人對他說過這話- 哦，不！

Like, "I've never heard somebody say that before."

就像，"我從來沒有聽說過有人說過。"

And it takes a bit of time to break down those barriers, you know?

而打破這些障礙需要一點時間，你知道嗎？

It is a little more difficult

它是一個比較困難的

because it's, like, are you gonna give up that masculinity

因為它的一樣，你要去 放棄男子氣概。

by becoming friends with this person?

通過和這個人成為朋友？

That's the weird thing,

這才是奇怪的事情。

is I have no trouble making friends.

是我交朋友沒有問題。

I'm a very open person.

我是一個很開放的人。

I really just want a tight-knit group of friends.

我真的只是想有一群關係緊密的朋友。

It takes a lot of time to get out and build those relationships.

需要花很多時間出去建立這些關係。

All right, good meeting you.

好吧，很高興見到你。

- It was good meeting you, Alex. - I'll be in touch.

- 很高興見到你，亞歷克斯。- 我會再聯繫你的

The term "loneliness epidemic"

"孤獨流行病 "一詞

suggests that this is some modern crisis

說明這是什麼現代危機

that is just starting to effect us right now.

這是剛開始影響我們現在。

But the roots of this problem

但這個問題的根源是

actually go back much further than you might think.

其實要追溯到比你想象的更遠的地方。

In the late 1700s

在17世紀末

at the start of the Industrial Revolution

工業革命初期

in Europe and the United States,

在歐洲和美國。

people started to move out of small communities

人們開始搬出小區

and into cities to work in factories.

並進城到工廠工作。

It's around then that you first start to see

就在那時，你開始看到了

the use of the word loneliness in English printed works.

孤獨一詞在英文印刷作品中的使用；

Loneliness became the first word

孤獨成了第一個詞

to describe the experience of being alone.

來形容獨處的體驗。

Before that, the closest thing that we had was "oneliness."

在這之前，我們最接近的就是 "一性一"。

But that just referred to the physical state of being alone.

但這只是指一個人的生理狀態。

It wasn't until the 1970s

直到70年代

that experts started to describe loneliness

專家們開始對孤獨進行描述

as a public health crisis,

作為一種公共衛生危機，

like in these American newspaper clippings

如同這些美國報紙的剪報

where they describe a "Loneliness Epidemic In Our Time."

他們在那裡描述了 "我們這個時代的孤獨流行病"。

All these headlines are talking about this loneliness epidemic

所有這些頭條新聞都在談論這個孤獨的流行病。

in the same way that you would see

就像你會看到

media coverage talk about this today.

媒體報道今天談及此事。

So, for example, this one says,

所以，比如說，這個說。

"There is an epidemic of loneliness

"孤獨的流行病

in America today that drives people

在今天的美國

to seek companionship

尋歡作樂

in laundromats, shopping centers,

在洗衣店、購物中心。

Weight Watchers and bars."

體重控制儀和酒吧。"

That's from 1973.

那是1973年的。

Articles like these were reacting to the start

這樣的文章是反應在開始

of some major societal shifts.

的一些重大社會變革。

Like, when we get married in the U.S.,

就像，當我們在美國結婚的時候。

people have been getting married

洞房花燭

later and later since the 1950s.

後來，自20世紀50年代以來，。

And young unmarried people report feeling more lonely

而年輕的未婚人士則表示感覺更孤獨。

than their married peers.

比他們的已婚同齡人。

And organized community groups like church

和有組織的社區團體，如教會

have become less prominent than ever.

已變得不再那麼突出。

Today, a quarter of the U.S. population

今天，四分之一的美國人口。

is unaffiliated with organized religion

不屬於宗教組織

versus just five percent in 1972.

而1972年只有5%。

And those who attend religious services less frequently tend to be lonelier.

而那些較少參加宗教儀式的人，往往更孤獨。

So we can't say that we're lonelier than ever,

所以我們不能說自己比以前更孤獨了。

because we haven't really had a consistent way

因為我們還沒有一個真正一致的方式

to measure loneliness over time.

來衡量一段時間內的孤獨感。

And we can't say whether those social changes

我們也不能說這些社會變化是否是

have caused higher rates of loneliness today.

造成了今天較高的孤獨率。

But we do know that more people

但我們知道，更多的人

are spending big chunks of their lives

花了大把的時間

isolated from close-knit communities.

孤立於緊密的社區之外；

That's important because our brains are wired

這一點很重要，因為我們的大腦是有線路的

to want those social circles.

要想這些社交圈。

There's one theory that could help us understand the impact

有一種理論可以幫助我們理解這種影響

that has on loneliness.

這對孤獨感有。

There's this idea that there is a cognitive limit

有這樣的想法，有一個認知的極限。

on the number of people that humans can have,

在人類可以擁有的人口數量上。

basically, a meaningful, social relationship with.

基本上，一個有意義的，社會關係與。

That idea is known as Dunbar's number.

這種想法被稱為鄧巴號。

The guy who came up with this, his name is Robin Dunbar.

想出這個主意的人，他叫羅賓-鄧巴。

What he did to find that number is he basically looked

為了找到這個數字，他所做的是，他基本上是在尋找。

at average brain size of different primates

在不同靈長類動物的平均腦容量

and average social group size.

和社會團體平均規模。

And he made sort of trend line based off of that

他根據這個做了一條趨勢線。

and extrapolated that humans probably are meant to be

並推斷出人類大概是要成為

in a group of about 150.

在大約150人的隊伍中。

And when he double-checked that with modern

而當他用現代的方法仔細核對的時候

hunter-gatherer societies at the time,

當時的狩獵採集社會。

it totally checked out. The average number was about 148.

它完全檢查出來。平均數約為148。

- Hunter-gatherer societies were usually 150 people? - Small.

- 狩獵採集社會一般為150人?- 小。

- Yeah. - Huh.

- 是啊

But Dunbar's number is really a set of numbers,

但鄧巴的數字其實是一組數字。

so there are a whole bunch of subgroups within this.

所以這裡面有一大堆子集團。

The first number is five.

第一個數字是5。

This is kind of like the family and friends

這有點像家人和朋友

that you were absolutely closest with.

你是絕對最親密的。

You tend spend about 40% of your social time

你傾向於花大約40%的社交時間

with these five people.

與這五個人。

I wanna know who these people are...

我想知道這些人是誰... ...

- Really? - ...for you. Yeah.

- 真的嗎? - ...- ...給你的對啊

You're gonna make me namecheck them?

你要讓我檢查他們的名字？

So then, moving up from this level

那麼，從這個層面上看

is what Dunbar calls

就是鄧巴所說的

sort of your sympathy group of 15 people.

有點像你的同情組15人。

These are the people I would allow to see me cry.

這些都是我願意允許看到我哭泣的人。

One level up from that is what Dunbar calls the close network.

再往上一個層次就是鄧巴所說的緊密網絡。

So these are people that you would probably invite to a big dinner party.

所以這些人，你可能會邀請他們參加一個大型的晚宴。

It's interesting. I would put in this category people I see every day.

這很有趣。我會把每天都能見到的人歸為這一類。

- So I fit in this one. Is that what you're saying? - Yeah.

- 所以我適合這個。 你是這個意思嗎？- 是的 Yeah.

- Yeah, you go here. - Cool, cool, cool, cool.

- 是啊，你去這裡。- 酷，酷，酷，酷，酷。

And in the last level, coming back to 150,

而在最後一關，回到150。

it's sort of the max number of meaningful relationships that you have.

這是一種最大數量的有意義的關係，你有。

- These are my casual friends. - Mm.

- 這些都是我的普通朋友。- Mm.

For most of human history,

在人類歷史的大部分時間裡。

you would've lived with these people

你會和這些人住在一起

for almost your entire life.

幾乎是你的一生。

If I didn't live with my boyfriend

如果我沒有和男朋友一起生活

- or if this person lived out of town... - Mm-hmm.

- 或者如果這個人住在外地... ...- Mm -hmm.

I would not in my daily life see any of the people that I was closest to.

在日常生活中，我不會見到任何一個我最親近的人。

Yeah, which is crazy.

是的，這是瘋了。

- Which is crazy. - It's important to note

- 這很瘋狂。- 重要的是要注意

that you can feel lonely at any one of these levels.

你可以在其中任何一個層次感到孤獨。

And the fact that we're not interacting with a lot

而事實上，我們並沒有與很多的互動。

of these people face-to-face every day

每天面對面的這些人

does have an actual impact on those relationships.

確實會對這些關係產生實際影響。

Dunbar said that emotional proximity decreases by 15% every year

鄧巴說，情感接近度每年減少15%。

that you don't see someone face-to-face.

你沒有看到一個人面對面。

Which means that it just takes a few years

這意味著，它只是需要幾年

for someone who might've been in your top five,

對於某人誰可能已經在你的前五名。

say, in college, to go all the way

說，在大學裡，一路走來。

to sort of the outer limits of your 150 people.

到你150人的外部極限的排序。

I'm gonna leave this shoot and just book a flight

我要離開這次拍攝，然後去訂一張機票

- to see my best friend. - Exactly.

- 見我最好的朋友。- 就是這樣

So, if these all represent different flavors of loneliness,

所以，如果這些都代表著不同味道的孤獨。

how do people deal with each of them today?

如今人們又是如何處理每一個問題的呢？

That's what we want to figure out.

這就是我們想弄清楚的。

We're here in Branford, Connecticut

我們在康涅狄格州的布蘭福德市

talking to a group of people called Romeos.

和一群叫Romeos的人談話。

That stands for Retired Old Men Eating Out.

這代表著退休老人在外吃飯的意思。

There's a really strong appeal to groups like this.

對這樣的群體有很強的吸引力。

Research shows older men are more at risk

研究表明，老年男性的風險更大

of social isolation when compared to older women.

與老年婦女相比，社會孤立的程度。

A lot of these guys miss the connections that they had

很多人都在懷念他們曾經的關係

either growing up or in school or in their working life.

無論是在成長過程中，還是在學校裡，還是在工作生活中。

And they want to find a way

他們想找到一種方法

to maintain those kinds of friendships in retirement.

在退休後保持這種友誼。

When I retired, I tried to get in a few things,

當我退休後，我嘗試著去做一些事情。

but nothing seemed to click.

但似乎沒有什麼點擊。

Most of the wives have book clubs,

大多數妻子都有讀書會。

- bridge clubs... - Yes. Yes.

- 橋牌俱樂部...是的，是的。

- ...and garden clubs. - Garden clubs.

- ...和花園俱樂部。- 花園俱樂部；

And this group was just perfect.

而這群人就很完美。

We just get together and we shoot the breeze,

我們只是在一起，我們拍攝的風。

and it's a bunch of very nice people.

而且是一群非常好的人。

Are there moments for all of you that stand out

你們是否都有與眾不同的時刻？

that kind of brought you here?

是那種把你帶到這裡的？

Sometimes, it's a relative will say,

有時候，是親戚會說。

"I'm concerned about so and so being lonely."

"我擔心某某會寂寞。"

We get those kinds of contacts

我們得到了這些類型的接觸

all the time through our website.

一直通過我們的網站。

I became involved with the Romeo group

我加入了羅密歐集團

through my granddaughter

通過我的孫女

who did research and contacted Frank.

他做了研究並聯繫了弗蘭克。

Because of my loneliness,

因為我的孤獨。

she convinced me to join the group,

她說服我加入了這個團體。

and I'm glad I did.

我很高興我做到了。

And you weren't sure at first.

而你一開始並不確定。

- You came very reluctantly to the first group. - Exactly.

- 你很不情願地來到了第一組。- 正是如此。

Loneliness may be a greater fear than death.

孤獨可能比死亡更可怕。

During the day, even if you're a widowed guy,

白天，即使你是個鰥夫。

you'll find things to do.

你會找到事情做。

But when you're home at night all by yourself

但是當你晚上一個人在家的時候