Anyway, didn't you guys say that you had some single friends at this party?

總之，你們不是說這派對上有些單身的朋友嗎？

Oh, yeah.

有啊。

But trust me, you're too good for them.

但相信我，他們都配不上妳的。

What?

什麼？

Oh, yeah.

沒錯。

You're way too good to date any of our friends.

妳太優秀了，他們沒有一個朋友配得上妳。

I mean I guess that's a compliment, but like really?

我猜你們是在是讚美我吧，但真的假的？

All of them?

全部嗎？

I mean, what about...what about this guy?

我的意思是，這個傢伙如何？

Oh, Mark.

噢，他是Mark。

Yeah, I've known him since we were kids.

我們從小就認識了。

He is so funny.

他非常幽默。

Okay.

好喔。

But he's also super arrogant, afraid of commitment, and doesn't believe in holidays.

但同時，他非常高傲、害怕給承諾，而且他不慶祝節日的。

What? That's insane.

蛤？太扯了吧？

Okay, what about this guy?

那這個傢伙呢？

Oh, Rauger.

噢，是 Rauger。

We met in college.

我們是大學認識的。

And honestly, we had one of the most meaningful hikes of my entire life together.

老實說，我們一起去了我人生中最有意義的遠足。

That's so nice!

那還不錯喔！

But he is a narcissist, only reads Ayn Rand, and doesn't believe in holidays.

但他是個自戀狂，只讀 Ayn Rand 的書，而且他也沒有在慶祝節日。

What? That's crazy.

什麼？太荒唐了吧！

Why are you friends with these people?

你們為什麼要跟這些人當朋友？

They're good friends.

他們適合當朋友啊！

Totally fine.

一點也沒錯。

They just make for bad partners.

他們只是不適合當伴侶。

Okay.

好吧！

What about this guy?

不然這個傢伙呢？

He's literally petting a puppy.

他正在和小狗玩。

Oh Grugery, yes.

噢，是 Grugery。

That is the dog that he got from the rescue center.

這隻狗是他從動物救援組織救出來的。

He's so smart, super successful, and insanely funny.

他很聰明又非常成功，也極為幽默。

He's just a really fun guy.

他真的是個很有趣的傢伙。

But he also steals from department stores, thinks reading is consumerist, and cheats on all his girlfriends.

但他會偷百貨公司的東西，認為閱讀是消費主義，還對他歷任的女友都不忠。

And he doesn't believe in holidays.

而且，他也不會慶祝節日。

What the fuck guys?

搞什麼鬼啊？

Why are you friends with these people?

你們為什麼要和這些人當朋友？

Look, they're just our friends.

聽著，他只是我們的朋友啊！

Sometimes we don't see them for weeks or even months.

有時會好幾個星期、甚至幾個月都見不到他們。

They just pop in and out of our lives, and we see them in the context in which we enjoy them.

他們在我們的生命中來來去去，我們在特定環境下見面時，相處都很融洽。

But a partner, you gotta know that you can rely on them.

但談到伴侶，你必須知道對方是否可以依靠。

You need to know that they are solid.

你必須知道對方是否可以信賴。

That they complete you.

對方要能讓你更完整。

Man, that is some shit Krogery would say.

天啊，這些都是 Krogery 會講的話。

He is the best.

他是極品。

He is a bad listener.

他不善於傾聽。

The life of the party.

他是派對的重點人物。

He doesn't believe in medicine.

他不相信醫學。

Amazing chef.

他是個厲害的大廚。

Will break your heart in an instant.

但他會立刻讓你心碎。

Never let your guard down around him.

千萬別對他掉以輕心。

Why do we do this?

為什麼我們要這樣？

Why do we permit our friends to be fine to us and terrible to their significant others?

為什麼我們要默許我們的朋友對我們很好，卻對他們的另一半很糟糕呢？

Today is the day that this stops.

今天，這一切都得停止。

That we demand that our friends be better.

我們得要求我們的朋友變得更好。

That they're good to everyone in their life.

讓他們對他們生命中的每個人都是有好處的。

So, is Rekha single or what?

所以，Rekha 是單身嗎？

Oh my God, Rekha is awesome.

天啊，Rekha 超棒的。

But she's super judgemental.

但她很愛批評別人。

She collects all this intel about people before she even knows them, which is understandable sometimes.

她會在認識別人之前去蒐集所有關於他的情報，這有時是合情合理的。

But other times, it's just wrongful.

但其他時候，這樣做是不恰當的。

And it prevents her from being in a relationship.

這也讓她談不成戀愛。

Yikes!

哇塞！

Baggage much?

問題很多？

Yeah, all my friends are terrible.

對啊，我所有的朋友都很糟。

Ah, whose aren't?

誰的不是呢？

Okay, what about this one?

那這隻呢？

[Yeah, Pouchy's great, but super needy, also he doesn't believe in holidays.]

[嗯，Pouchy 不錯，但他很黏人，也不慶祝節日。]

Oh, that bad.

真糟糕。

God, everything sucks.

天啊，一切都糟透了。

Hi, I'm Rekha from College Humor.

嗨，我是 College Humor 頻道的 Rekha 。

Click here to subscribe.

點擊這裡來訂閱。

Click here for other fun stuff and thank you so much for watching.

點擊這看更多有趣的影片，還有非常謝謝你們的觀看。

I love my job, and I'm definitely not trapped in this video. [Help]

我愛我的工作，我絕對沒有被困在這影片裡。[救命]

Things are great.

一切都很好。