And this is for pretty evident reasons.

這是出於幾個顯而易見的原因。

For anyone who's tried it before, you'll notice that alcohol quickly makes you better at many things, including temporarily talking to girls and thinking you can jump down more stairs than you actually can.

對於以前嘗試過喝酒的人來說，會發現酒精很快讓自己在很多事情上變得更好，包括暫時能跟女生講話以及認為自己可以跳下比實際上更多階的樓梯。

Now, whether it's at a party, or you've responsibly waited until you were of legal age, I think most teenagers and young adults are pretty excited to have their first drink.

無論是在派對上，還是負責任地等到法定年齡，我想大多數青少年和年輕人都對第一次喝酒感到非常興奮。

But if there's anything, you'll find out soon enough it's that your first drunk experience is always one of the least memorable.

但要說的話，你很快就會發現，你的第一次醉酒經歷總是最沒記憶點的。

Also keep in mind that many people have bad formative experiences with a certain alcohol, and say things like: "I'm never drinking vodka again."

還有請記住，許多人對特定的酒有不好經歷，就會說像是：「再也不會喝伏特加了。」這樣的話。

While you think you mean it, this decision is made by your logical brain and has no bearing on the future actions of your drunk brain.

雖然你認為你是認真的，但這個決定是由你的邏輯大腦做出的，與你醉酒後大腦的做出的行為無關。

Of course, many new drinkers worry that they're drinking too much and don't want to develop bad habits.

當然，許多初嚐酒的人會擔心他們喝得太多，不想養成壞習慣。

My friend thought she might have a problem because her family always buys her liquor store gift cards.

我的朋友認為她可能有問題，因為她的家人總是給她買酒類商店的禮品卡。

But you don't need to worry when people buy you gift cards for the liquor store, you need to worry when they stop buying you gift cards for the liquor store.

但是，當別人送你酒類商店的禮品卡時，你並不需要擔心，當他們不再送你酒類商店的禮品卡時，你才需要擔心。

Now a downside of alcohol is how expensive it is.

酒精的缺點是它很貴。

Another downside is one of the effects of alcohol is making you not care about what things cost.

另一個缺點是，酒精的影響之一是讓你不在乎價格。

Fortunately, though, one of the upsides is that one of the effects of alcohol is making you forget to pay for things.

不過，幸運的是，酒精的其中一個好處就是讓你忘記付錢。

So you have to take your wins with your losses.

因此，你必須承受損失。

So when you're consuming alcohol, you need to be aware of your level of intoxication, which someone might ask you for to gauge where you or the group is at.

飲酒的時候，了解自己的醉酒程度是很重要的，有人可能會詢問你酒醉的程度，來判斷喝酒的人有多醉。

3 out of 10 is a small buzz, and you can definitely feel something happening.

滿分十分的三分是微醺，仍可以感覺到正在發生的事情。

6 to 7.5 is the Goldilocks zone, where you feel charismatic, energised, and excited to do things.

6 到 7.5 分是適居帶，這個程度的你會感到有魅力、充滿活力並且對做的事情感到興奮。

Past 8 out of 10, no one will ask because they can already tell, and you start saying things like: "Why are your eyes so far apart?" to someone's boobs.

八分以上的，就不會有人問你醉不醉了，因為他們看得出來，而且你會開始對別人的胸部說：「為什麼你的眼睛這麼開？」

And 11 out of 10, where everything goes black, time no longer exists, and you teleport to new locations.

11 分的話，眼前就變一片黑、不再感受到時間，而且會被帶到不一樣的地方。

With that in mind, the effect of alcohol can be different for different individuals, and from my experience, there are fundamentally three types of drunk people:

考慮到這一點，酒精對不同的人的影響可能會有所不同，根據我的經驗，醉酒的人基本上分為三種類型：

People who are their usual selves, but better; people who seem exactly the same, but can't walk properly and people who immediately find a reason to:

像平常一樣的人，但變的更好；看起來完全一樣但不能正常行走的人，以及喝醉就找到理由做這些事的人：

Say they love you; fight someone; try to have sex with someone or cry.

說愛你、跟人打架、跟人上床或是哭。

So one thing you'll have to deal with whether you drink or not is your friend passing out.

無論有沒有喝酒，你都必須處理的一件事就是你的朋友醉倒了。

When this happens, you'll notice that everyone else will do one of two things: Help them or draw a dick on their forehead.

發生這種情況時，你會注意到旁人都會做以下兩件事：要麼幫他們，要麼在他們的額頭上畫個小鳥。

This is a good way to check your social circle for whether or not you have good friends, depending on what they did first, and the size of the dick.

這是知道自己是否有好朋友的好方法，取決於他們先做什麼事情，以及小鳥的大小。

Now at the end of the night, remember that alcohol dehydrates you, so it's really important to drink lots of water.

晚上結束時，請記住酒精會讓你脫水，因此多喝水非常重要。

A good strategy is to know what you usually weigh in the morning and drink enough water to bring yourself up to that weight at night.

一個好方法是知道自己在早上起床時的體重，並在晚上的時候喝夠多的水讓自己可以達到那個數字。

In practice, I find I don't always have the clarity of mind to do that,

在練習的時後，我發現我通常都沒辦法腦袋保持清醒的做這件事，

so you can also sit under the shower head with your mouth open, wondering where you went wrong.

所以你也可以就張著嘴坐在蓮蓬頭下，思考自己哪裡做錯了。

So the next morning, depending on your age and hydration, you might experience a hangover.

隔天早上，根據你的年齡和補水的量，你可能會宿醉。

A hangover is your body telling you you're an idiot and shouldn't be doing this any more.

宿醉是你的身體告訴你你是個白痴，不應該再這樣做了。

And the only thing that can make it go away is hash browns.

唯一能讓宿醉消失的只有薯餅。

So with that said, always consume responsibly and hit up Costco if you don't have any in your freezer

話雖如此，請理性的飲食，如果冰箱沒有了就去一趟好市多。