touring the world's great museums,

在世界有名的博物館展出

inspiring awe in onlookers of all ages,

讓各年齡的觀者為之一亮

posing for hordes of fawning photographers.

擺出攝影師渴望的姿勢

Sound like something you'd like?

聽起來像是你所嚮往的嗎

Well, good luck!

那祝你好運拉

At least 99.9% of creatures that have ever lived

至少百分之九九點九曾存在的生物

aren't preserved in the fossil record.

不會變成化石

But forget about them,

但撇開他們不談

everyone else will,

其他人會

and listen up!

仔細聽好

If you want your corpse

若你希望死後

in the exclusive 0.01% Club,

能加入百分之零點零一的俱樂部

the Hall of Preserved Fossil Fame,

化石名人堂

it will not be easy.

這並不容易

You better work!

你得加把盡

Step one: die.

步驟一，死亡

It's a cold, hard fact of fossilization.

這是化石化的冷酷事實

Everything paleontologists find

所有古生物學家所找到的化石

was once alive and, at some point, died.

都曾存在過並在某個時間點死亡

We'll skip the details

先跳過細節

and assume you had a long, fulfilling life

假設你度過漫長的美滿人生

so we can get to what is really important --

接著切入重點

how you die.

你如何死去

There are many ways to become a fossil,

有很多成為化石的方法

so let's highlight your top death options.

讓我們聚焦在最佳死法

You could get yourself trapped in tree sap,

你可能被困在樹液中

which, when hardens, turns into amber

當樹液固化後會變成琥珀

and can survive intact for millions of years.

並完整保存數百萬年

But unless you find a really big tree to sit under,

但前提是找得到一棵巨大的樹

amber preservation will likely remain

琥珀通常會保留

the domain of insects and other very small animals.

昆蟲類及其他小動物

Generally, the right place to be

一般來說，如果想變成化石的話

if you want to end up a fossil

最佳的地方是

is wherever sediment is actively being deposited,

在沉澱物大量堆積的地方

like a lake or an ocean floor.

像是湖或是海底

A mountaintop or prairie?

山頂和草原

Not good!

不是個好選擇

You need to get buried,

你必須被掩埋

the faster the better,

越快越好

because the longer you hang around on the surface,

因為在表面待越久

the more likely you'll get eaten,

你越有可能被吃掉

scavenged,

被清理掉

or otherwise destroyed

要不然被銷毀

before ever having a chance to get preserved.

在有機會被保存之前

If you can get buried someplace

若能被埋在

with little to no oxygen,

幾乎沒有氧氣的地方

like a bog or a deep lake bottom,

像是沼澤或深海底

even better.

更好

That lack of oxygen will slow down your decay

氧氣缺乏會減緩腐敗速度

and give you more time to fossilize.

得以有更多時間變成化石

So, let's say you're lucky enough to die

假設你非常幸運地在淺海

and get buried in a shallow sea

死亡並被掩埋

under muddy, sandy sediments.

在混濁的砂質沉澱物下

What's your next move?

接下來呢

One option is a process

就是一個叫做

called permineralization.

完全礦化的過程

While all your soft parts decay away,

當身體柔軟的部分腐敗時

your bones get saturated with mineral-rich waters.

含礦物質的水會使骨頭達到飽和

Bit by bit, microscopic crystals precipitate

逐漸地，微粒晶體

out of these waters

從水中析出沉澱

to fill in the empty spaces and pores in your bones.

填滿骨頭中的空隙

Otherwise, you'd better hope

不然的話，你最好希望

the sediments around you harden

包覆你的沉澱物在

while your bones decay away

骨頭腐爛之前硬化

and another sediment or mineral fills in the spaces

其他沉澱物或礦物質會填滿

your bones leave behind,

骨頭剩下的空間

creating a perfect cast of your skeleton.

你的屍骨便完美成型了

Over time, the sediments around your fossil

經過一段時間，包覆你的沉澱物

will lithify or turn into rock.

會石化或變成岩石

But you're not in the clear yet!

但還沒大功告成阿!

Many things could happen

有可能

to those sedimentary rocks

沉積岩發生變化

that might destroy your chances

使你被發現的機會

of getting discovered.

大幅減低

They could get uplifted into a mountain range

岩石可能抬升形成山脈

and eroded away

並被侵蝕

or carried along in an oceanic plate

或者隨著海洋板塊

and subducted back into the Earth's mantle,

下沉至地涵

melting your fossil into hot mush.

你的化石會融化成像碗熱粥

Fingers crossed your rock surroundings

希望你周圍的岩石

will get gently lifted up

會被地殼板塊

by plate tectonics,

緩和地抬升

sea levels will change,

海平面會改變

and you'll end up under dry land

最後你位在一片旱地之下

close to the surface,

非常靠近表面

but not so close

但還不至於近到

that erosion from wind and rain wipes you away

會被風和雨水侵蝕沖刷掉

before someone can come find you.

在被發現之前

The last step in this long process,

最後一步是個漫長的過程

an intrepid paleontologist has to come find you.

等待著勇敢無畏的古生物學家發現你

Maybe she's a research scientist

或許是個科學研究員

scouting for fossils your age and type

尋找著和你年紀、種類相符的化石

or just an amateur collector

或只是個業餘的收集愛好者

hoping for a fortuitous find.

希望找到意外收穫

She whacks away at layers of rock above you

她將一層層的岩石敲開

or spots your fossil exposed

或者看到你的化石

in a creek bank after a flood.

在洪水後暴露在小溪岸邊

And there you are,

你就因此被發現了

a magnificent scientific discovery,

一項重大的科學發現

millions of years in the making!

經過了好幾百萬年的淬鍊

She and her colleagues gently extract you

她和伙伴們小心地

from the surrounding sediment,

將你從沉澱物中取出

measure and photograph

測量並拍照

all the bits and pieces they find,

所有找到的碎片

and begin the complex task of reconstructing

著手困難的重建任務

how and when you lived

還原你當時的生存環境

based on the evidence they find in your bones.

根據在你骨頭找到的證據

Paleontologists will be some of your biggest fans

古生物學家將成為你的頭號粉絲

along with all those admiring crowds at the museum.

那些在博物館驚嘆的群眾也為你瘋狂

You made it!

你做到了!

You spent years underground in obscurity,

多少年沒沒無聞的埋在地底下

shedding blood,

付出心血

sweat,

汗水

tears,

和淚水

and your internal organs.

以及你的器官

You worked yourself to the bone

你非常努力

until your bones disintegrated

直到骨頭瓦解

and were replaced by minerals and sediments.

被礦物質與沉澱物取代

But it was all worth it

但一切都值得

because you're a famous fossil!

因為你成名了

Now, you better hold that pose!

現在就繼續維持這姿勢吧