Pre-order on Steam, right now, to save 10% AND get the soundtrack free.

現在在Steam預購可以獲得九折和免費音軌

-Wiz For some action heroes, it's not enough to JUST save the world.

對一些動作英雄來說

-Boomstick They've gotta look good doing it!

光是拯救世界還不夠

-Wiz Dante, the Devil Hunter.

他們救的時候還要特別帥

-Boomstick And Bayonetta, the Umbra Witch.

但丁，惡魔獵手

He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick!

還有貝優妮塔，獵天使魔女

-Wiz And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win...

他是Wiz我是BOOMSTICK

A Death Battle.

我們的工作是分析他們的武器、盔甲和技巧

-Wiz Take a walk down Slum Avenue, and you'll find all sorts of hangouts for the scum of the Underworld.

找出誰會贏得生死決鬥

The Bullseye Bar, a random...strip club, and even a run-down service shop called 'Devil May Cry.'

去Avernew貧民窟散一下步

-Boomstick But the services they're selling aren't like washing your car, or fixing your plumbing.

你會看到很多地底世界的人渣在玩耍

HOOH no, s'long as you got the cash, this shop specializes in delivering demonic beatdowns.

飛鏢酒吧

"Who's CRAZY enough to try making a living this way?" You ask?

一些普通的脫衣舞廳

His name...

甚至還有落魄的事務所，名為鬼泣

is Dante.

那裡的服務可不像是你修車補衣服等等

-Wiz From the very beginning, Dante's life was always unusual.

當然不是

Born from the unholy union of a human mother and a demon father,

只要你有鈔票，這個商店就會為你提供獵殺惡魔的特別服務

Dante and his twin brother, Vergil, had their first supernatural encounter at the young age of 8.

也許你會問，哪個瘋子居然靠這個在討生活？

-Boomstick Yeah, see, his demon dad was a badass who single-handedly conquered the Underworld,

他的名字是

And imprisoned its demon emperor, Mundus.

但丁

But after dad died, Mundus' minions felt brave enough to take some revenge, by...slaughtering his family.

打從一開始

Leaving Dante an orphan.

但丁的人生就與眾不同

Bummer. Hate it when that happens.

由不合倫理的人類母親和惡魔父親結合

Wiz- With his mother gone, and his brother assumed dead, Dante was left with only one option:

但丁和他的雙胞胎哥哥維吉爾

Become the ultimate Demon Hunter, and...perpetuate the cycle of vengeance.

在8歲的幼齡時就表現出超自然力量

-Wiz Despite the dangerous nature of his occupation,

沒錯...他的惡魔老爹很威猛

Dante always maintains a carefree spirit, while dispatching devils of the Underworld.

孤身一人征服了地底世界

-Boomstick It's part of his charm.

並監禁了魔帝蒙德斯

Hell, when you've got abilities like Dante's, why NOT be a little cocky?

在老爹掛掉後

He's faster than the mortal eye can see, strong enough to grapple with the Undeworld's toughest demons,

蒙蒂斯的手下趁機展開報復

And straight-up MAN enough to shake off being stabbed through the chest, like, every goddamn day!

殺光了他全家

-Wiz That's thanks to his regenerative ability.

讓但丁成為了孤兒

In fact, ALL of that is made possible due to his demonic heritage,

真掃興

and made even MORE deadly by his plethora of weapons.

我最討厭這樣了

His favorites being his dual pistols, and enormous sword.

在他母親死去

-Boomstick Like any proud weapon owner, he gives his tools of destruction pet names.

哥哥也“應該”死了之後

His guns, Ebony and Ivory, specialize in long-range shots and rapid-fire barrages, respectively.

但丁只剩下一個選擇

These handcannons are SO powerful, they can each obliterate demons in a single shot.

成為終極的惡魔獵手

-Dante I think that look suits you better.

然後開始瘋狂的報復

*Cue laugh track*

現在要開始狂歡！

-Boomstick Rebellion is a large, magical sword, given to him by his pops,

瘋起來！

which can cut any demon down to size in the blink of an eye.

他的職業雖然充滿了危險

He's also got his brother's sword, Yamato, which can cut through DIMENSIONS!

但丁在獵殺惡魔時，總是保持著樂觀的態度

-Wiz Throughout his adventures, Dante also collected a wide assortment of additional weaponry called Devil Arms,

這是他的魅力

physical manifestations of powerful demons he has defeated.

如果你有但丁的能力

-Boomstick Remember Megaman? I-it's that. But on steroids!

傲慢一點也是很正常的

His armor, Gilgamesh Gauntlets, increase his striking power,

他快得肉眼看不到

letting him shatter huge monoliths with a lethal, one-inch punch.

強壯得能夠和地底世界最強大的惡魔角逐

-Boomstick With Lucifer - the backpack, not the devil - Dante basically throws infinite lightsabers.

天殺得能夠直接承受刺穿胸膛

He's also got an electric guitar, which is literally electric.

幾乎每天來一下

Ice-powered nunchucks, grenade launchers, shotguns, and, I kid you not,

這點得感謝他的治癒能力

a briefcase that can transform into 666 different weapons,

實際上這些對於他的惡魔力量都是小事

Ranging from a giant Beyblade, to a flying turret gun.

如果加上他的武器組合會更暴力

Where does he POSSIBLY keep all this stuff!?

他最出名的，是雙槍和巨劍

-Wiz Really, REALLY deep pockets.

和很多驕傲的武器主人一樣，他給這些毀滅武器起了愛稱

Or, perhaps, it's one of his styles, abilities he has also acquired from defeating demon bosses.

黑檀木和白象牙雙槍，專長於遠距離高速射擊和強力的突擊

With Doppelganger Style, he can duplicate himself,

這些槍枝威力實在太強大

with Trickster Style, he can teleport instantly,

只需要一槍就能粉碎惡魔

with Royal Guard Style, he becomes a nigh-impervious dreadnought,

我覺得你這樣好看多了

AND he can even slow down time with the Quicksilver Style.

"叛逆"是他父親贈予的魔法大劍

-Boomstick On the rare occasion Dante feels he needs to get serious, he enters the Devil Trigger,

能夠在眨眼間將惡魔一分為二

a transformation that taps into his demonic heritage to unleash his true devil form.

他還有他哥哥的刀 - 閻魔刀

Devil Trigger dramatically increases his strength, speed, and healing power, AND he can fly!

這刀能夠切開維度！

-Wiz Being so well-armed, Dante is more than capable of handling entire hordes of demons on his own,

在他的冒險中

although this doesn't stop some of his allies from joining in from time-to-time.

但丁還收集了大量的武器

This includes Trish, a demon-lady who occasionally fights alongside him,

惡魔武器

and happens to resemble his deceased mother....

是他打敗過的強大惡魔化身的極小形態

Talk about giving somebody an Oedipus complex.

記得洛克人嗎？

-Boomstick Hey, if I may quote an old family saying,

就...差不多

"If she's not directly related, she's safe to be dated."

但是帥很多

-Wiz That explains a lot...

衝擊鋼吉爾伽美甚，加強他的突擊力量

Luckily, and quite surprisingly, that avenue was never explored -- thank god.

能讓他用致命一擊破壞龐然大物

Boomstick- Dante is a walking, talking, feat-achieving machine.

無盡劍路西法

One time, after getting impaled by FOUR demons at once, he pushed one so hard, it exploded,

是武器不是那個惡魔

and dropped a ceiling fan on the other three.

但丁幾乎是無限制的扔出光劍

All while eating a slice of pizza!

他還有一個電吉他

Oh...and when their friend showed up, he challenged them to a game of billiards.

真的是用來電人

[Asshole, corner pocket.]

冰凍的玩具、榴彈發射器、散彈槍

He won.

還有最牛逼的

Dante has run down the side of a building so fast, he caught fire,

能夠轉變成666種武器的手提箱

similar to a spacecraft re-entering the atmosphere at approximately 17,000 MPH.

從巨型的迴旋鏢，到裝滿大砲的飛行船

-Boomstick And he's even capable of taking out others just as overpowered as himself. Like his brother, Vergil,

他究竟把這些玩意兒放在哪？

who was NOT dead, but...evil.

非常...非常深的口袋裡

He stopped a colossal punch from THIS titanic monster, without breaking a sweat,

也許是他其中一種風格

shrugged off bombardment by meteors,

同樣是需要打敗惡魔Boss獲得的能力

and eventually avenged his mother by defeating the demon lord, Mundus.

使用二重身風格，能夠複製自己

In space.

騙術師風格能夠瞬間傳送

-Boomstick You may be asking yourself: "Can ANYTHING stop this guy?!?"

皇家護衛風格讓他成為反擊專家

Yes.

甚至還能使用水銀風格減慢時間

Dante DOES have a limit to how much punishment he can take,

在一些特殊情況

but if there's anything that could take him down, it's his own cocky attitude.

但丁覺得需要認真的時候

-Wiz In the words of the ancient Chinese philosopher, Laozi,

他會按下惡魔開關

-Boomstick I'm gonna have to disagree with ol' Laozi here,

轉變成另一種外觀，能夠讓他接觸並釋放他真正的惡魔形態

pretty sure there's no greater danger than telling a woman those pants do, in fact, make her ass look fat.

惡魔開關戲劇性的增強他的力量、速度和治癒能力

-??? You...BASTAAAAARD!

還能飛哦

-Dante And, jackpot.

武裝充足

-Wiz From the angels of Paradiso, to the demons of Inferno, there is a name feared by both the light and the dark.

但丁的實力能夠獨自碾壓整個惡魔軍團

And her name...

不過這個並沒有妨礙到盟友的加入

[is JOHN CENA!]

盟友包括有崔西

is Bayonetta.

一個經常和他合作的惡魔女士

[I like mine better.]

正好是他死去母親的翻版

-Boomstick To any normal guy walking down the street,

勾引別人也不能這樣啊

she may look like your average 7-ft. tall, GARGANTUAN Amazon-woman with good fashion sense.

嘿！讓我引用一句祖傳真言

But Bayonetta is ACTUALLY one of the last Umbra Witches, a clan of mystics allied with demonkind.

如果她不是真的親戚

-Wiz Named Cereza upon birth,

不能約X是放屁

she spent her early life growing up an outcast due to her parents being from rival clans.

這就解釋了很多...

Her father, a Lumin Sage, and her mother, an Umbra Witch.

很幸運...我也很驚訝

-Boomstick See, the Sages and Witches had one rule to follow:

這種不倫的關係從來沒有發生

DON'T make babies with the opposite clan, because, according to prophecy,

感謝上帝

it would bring on the destruction of the universe.

但丁是一個會走、會說、會虐人的機器

So, naturally, it was only a matter of time before SOMEbody couldn't keep it in their pants.

有一次，在同時被四個惡魔刺穿後

Ahh...pullin' out works every time, but the last time.

他只是推一下，就解決了一個惡魔

-Wiz You would know...

還把電風扇震下來，弄死了剩下的三個

With the pact now broken, war ensued between the two factions. In the end, only two witches survived:

當時他嘴裡還叼著一片披薩

Cereza, and her rival/future friend, Jeanne.

還有...這些惡魔的朋友出現，要挑戰但丁玩撞球

Hoping to prevent the Apocalypse, Jeanne used a special dagger to seal away Cereza's memories,

他贏了

and put her into a 500-year long coma.

但丁有過衝下建築

-Boomstick When Cereza woke up from her epic power nap, she took on her new name - Bayonetta -

快得自己燒了起來

and set out to find her lost memories.

這和外星飛船衝入地球相似

Luckily for her, she had just the right weapon for the job:

速度達到17,000英里/時

her hair!

他還能夠幹掉和他自己一樣強大的敵人

-Wiz As an Umbra Witch, not only does her hair serve as her clothing,

像是他的哥哥維吉爾

-Boomstick Which I'm having a REAAAALLY hard time deciding whether or not that's hot, or..just disgusting.

他...沒有死

-Wiz she can also use it to summon the demon, Madama Butterfly, to aid her in battle.

但是...很邪惡

This technique, the Wicked Weaves,

他擋下了這個巨型怪物的重擊，汗都不流

creates portals for the giant demon to deliver devestating punches and kicks.

多次被流星擊中

Bayonetta can also walk on walls and ceilings with Witch Walk,

最終為母親復仇，打敗了魔帝孟德斯

and even transform into animals to fly, run super-fast, and dodge attacks.

在宇宙裡

-Wiz But her most useful technique is Witch Time.

也許你會暗自有個疑問：

By slowing down time itself, Bayonetta can dodge..practically anything,

有什麼能阻止這傢伙嗎？

while unleashing a barrage of attacks.

的確

-Boomstick Bayonetta is basically a tall, sexy armory.

但丁能承受的傷害確實有極限

She wields gauntlets, called Durga, which attack with fire and electricity,

如果要說有東西能放倒他的話

a huge scythe that ROTS the SOULS of its victims,

就是他傲慢的態度

and a friggin' lightsaber called Pillow Talk.

中國古代的智者老子說過

She has a bow that fires poison arrows, a chainsaw made of dragon scales,

”禍莫大於輕敵“

a MASSIVE hammer that can cause earthquakes with every strike,

我必須同意這位老子的說法

and even ice skates! Which..attack with ice.

我很確定沒有比告訴一個女人，她的褲子讓她屁股看起來很大還要更危險的事情了

Obviously.

你這雜種！！

But her most beloved weapons are her 4-pistol set called Love is Blue.

頭獎

Rather than swap between them like a normal person, she somehow manages to wield all of them at once,

從天堂之中的天使

by using not only her hands, but also her feet.

到地獄火中的惡魔

-Boomstick How does THAT work? Does she have, like, some kind of weird...thumbs on her ankles, or something?

有一個名字被光和黑暗所畏懼

(That would kinda detract from the hotness factor just a bit-)

她的名字，是貝優妮塔

OH MY GOD.

對一個在街上走的正常人來說

She's covered in hair, and she uses her feet like hands!

她也許看起來像是一個身材高挑，有著很好時尚品味的亞馬遜人

SHE'S A MONKEY.

其實貝優妮塔是最後的安柏拉魔女之一

MONKEY WITCH!

一個和惡魔聯盟的組織

-Bayonetta This is awkward.

名叫瑟蕾莎·翰博爾

Wiz- I...highly doubt that.

她早期的生活是一位流浪者

She probably just uses some sort of magic.

直到和他的父母相認

Speaking of magic, when Bayonetta wants to unleash her full potential,

她的父親是位流明賢者

she triggers her Umbran Climax.

她的母親卻是安柏拉魔女

[Boomstick, you perv.]

賢者和魔女有一個規則要遵守

Which increases her strength and lets her summon Madama Butterfly's full, unrestrained power.

不要和不同的陣營生小孩

When fully-unleashed, Madama Butterfly can shatter huge meteors by headbutting them.

因為根據預言所說

-Boomstick Ahh...climax.

那樣會帶來宇宙的毀滅

By herself, Bayonetta has pulled off some impressive feats.

所以...這只是時間問題

She's strong enough to kick military jets into the air,

遲早會有人管不住自己的褲子

headbutt skyscrapers across the city,

╮(╯▽╰)╭...

and even throw satellites, with her legs, in outer space.

拔出來每次都管用

Oh, by the way, she can survive outer space.

直到最後一次

-Wiz Using Witch Time, she was able to defeat...THIS thing,

當然啦...

in only a matter of real-time seconds.

由於契約的毀壞

Even without Witch Time, her reaction speed is astronomical.

兩方陣營展開了戰爭

For example:

到最後，只有兩個魔女存活

When a Lumin Sage stopped time to position newly-fired bullets about 3 feet behind her,

瑟蕾莎和她的競爭對手/未來好友，貞德

she managed to not only turn and identify the incoming threat, but also dodge ALL 16 of them.

希望能夠避免天啟

-Wiz Considering regular bullets travel around 2,500 feet per second. She must have pulled all that off in less than ONE-THOUSANDTH OF A SECOND!

貞德使用特別的匕首封閉瑟蕾莎的記憶

-Boomstick And then there's that one time, when she killed God.

並讓她進入長達五百年的昏迷

You know, by scissoring her hair with Jeanne's,

當瑟蕾莎從她強大的午覺中甦醒後

and punching the Creator's SOUL across the entire solar system, into the sun?

她使用新的名字

-Wiz Okay, obviously Bayonetta's feats and abilities are ABSOLUTELY ridiculous!

貝優妮塔

But she IS sometimes rather inconsistent.

開始尋找她迷失的記憶

-Boomstick Despite her reaction time, she's been caught off-guard by enemies,

她很走運，有適合行動的工具

ranging from a half-god called Lobster,

她的頭髮

or...something like that,

作為一個安柏拉巫女

and even a plant-monster, that managed to grab her out of the air.

她的頭髮不止作為衣服

-Wiz But, regardless of whatever weaknesses she may have,

我很難判斷這究竟是性感

Bayonetta has achieved more than anyone can possibly imagine, despite being 100% human.

還是...噁心

-Boomstick Wait, she IS human!?!

她還可以用來召喚蝴蝶夫人

Dibs.

協助她作戰

-Bayonetta Alright. Let's dance, baby.

這個技能，巫女攻擊

-Wiz Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

為巨型惡魔製造出通道，進行強大的拳腳攻擊

-Boomstick But first, we made another videogame! And it sure would be swell if you buy it.

貝優妮塔還能使用魔女漫步在牆上和天花板行動

The nerd is back for an all new adventure.

還能變身成動物

Crush your enemies!

飛行、急速奔跑和躲避攻擊

Navigate new puzzles!

她最有用的技能是魔女時間

Fucking helicopters!

通過減慢時間

Giant fucking alligators!

貝優妮塔幾乎能夠在攻擊開始的時候就躲避一切

Fast fucking race cars!

貝優妮塔基本上是一個高挑、性感的武器庫

FUCKING FLAMING TANUKI BALLS!

她使用手鐲杜爾迦

And lots more shit!

能夠進行火、電攻擊

Coming March, 29 to PC and MAC. Preorder now on steam and get 10% off and a soundtrack free.

有一把能剝奪受害者靈魂的巨型鐮刀

But right now,

還有一把名叫枕邊語的強大光劍

IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!

她能夠用弓射出毒箭

-??? Another wandering, lost soul, I see?

使龍鱗製成的雙電鋸

-Dante Wow.

還有每一下攻擊都能製造地震的巨錘

Lost? Nah.

甚至還有冰刀

I'm looking for something called a 'Left Eye.'

也就...用冰攻擊

Care to give me a hand?

很明顯啦

Could be fun.

她最愛的武器是四支一組的手槍

-??? Hmph. I see.

藍色的愛簡

But if you're looking for the Left Eye, that would either make you an angel...

並不像普通人一樣互相切換使用

-Bayonetta ...or a demon.

她不知怎麼，學會了同時使用四把

-Announcer FIGHT!

不止是用她的手

-Bayonetta Get back!

還用她的腳

-Bayonetta Take this!

這怎麼弄的...