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  • (inaudible) I was saying that confidence is something that can be practiced

  • So if for some reason you think that confidence is something that certain people just have and that you're never

  • Going to be one of those people just know that it's not true now

  • There are a lot of things that can make a person feel

  • confident, you know standing up straight with your shoulders back, having a good eye brow day, winning in game of chess, going to the

  • gym, four times a week; and since it's so broad

  • I'd like to focus more on the internal type of confidence rather than the external in this video.

  • Now I was a confident kid, you know, there was nothing that I couldn't do,

  • I thought to myself, and I wanted to try everything and become everything.

  • I was pretty fearless.

  • But then again, I don't know perhaps that's pretty normal with kids,

  • you know, thinking that you're invincible and all. And also, I was 100%

  • convinced that I was Hermione Granger. So, I guess that played a part of it.

  • Now, I've definitely had my ups and downs since then with the ups being high and the downs

  • being very low at times, you know, there are still periods of time where I feel more confident than other times and

  • I'm okay with that, you know, I don't strive to be

  • super confident at all times in every situation during any circumstance, you know if that's even possible.

  • Like most things I just want to feel balanced. And in order to get there it's been valuable for me to

  • understand when it is that I feel confident and

  • why I might feel more confident during certain times compared to others, you know, what are the contributing factors?

  • So I've spent quite a bit of time reflecting on that and I'm pretty confident that I'm on to something here

  • So these are just my thoughts based on my experience and I thought I would share. Now,

  • they're essentially four

  • steps, I guess you could call it, that

  • I've identified. The first step is honesty. Now, when you search the internet for how to become confident

  • several articles point at

  • self pep-talk, you know things like tell yourself that you are really good and your brain will believe it and

  • that probably works for some people but it doesn't really work for me.

  • What does make me feel more confident; however, is being honest with myself, you know looking at the whole picture and

  • taking inventory. So, essentially

  • evaluating both my weaknesses and my strengths, like if I'm not great at chess

  • I'm not going to tell myself that I'm great at chess before a game. It doesn't make sense to me

  • personally. Instead, I will tell myself as it is, you know, I might say, you know

  • I've practiced, I become better,

  • I've learned some new strategies, and I'm still a bit slow and the other person is really good

  • but there's a good chance that I can win this, you know, whatever the situation might be.

  • This is just an example. And now the second point, and this

  • may be the most important one, is

  • putting in the work, you know

  • It was Tony Suarez who wrote that,

  • "the best way to build confidence in a given area is to invest energy in it and work hard at it." And,

  • one thing I learned for sure is that

  • confidence isn't produced by sitting around and thinking to myself that I am and I can, I need to actually

  • be and do. For example, if I feel uncomfortable in social settings, sitting at home all day,

  • replaying the topics that I'm planning on bringing up next time I'm at a party

  • doesn't boost my confidence, you know, it might temporarily make me feel more prepared, but

  • that'll only get me so far, you know, what is going to

  • generate that confidence is actually exposing myself to

  • those situations again and again and again, and to do my best, you know,

  • I think one of the worst things that you can do is to

  • half-ass something then let the result of that affect how you view yourself

  • and your abilities. Like if I put minimal effort into writing an article and

  • It doesn't get the response that I had wanted

  • I can't really evaluate my competence in a fair way because I haven't utilized it.

  • So, I can't make a fair judgement;

  • If on the other hand, I put my all into it and it's still not perceived the way that I had wanted

  • then at least I can accurately evaluate my flaws and work on those. Which brings me to my next point, and that is,

  • finding comfort in discomfort.

  • You know, each time that you put yourself out there, each time that you try something new,

  • you're taking a risk, and that's nothing profound. You know, we all know that there is no growth in your comfort zone.

  • So, you just gotta take your pick you either risk it for the biscuit

  • or you stay and you

  • Turn into a bag of hay. I don't know, because here's the thing if you're not okay

  • with the possibility of embarrassing yourself, if you're not okay with the possibility of

  • failing, and if you're not okay with the possibility of someone not liking you

  • you will never take a chance and then there is

  • no way for you to get better at anything. And if you're not getting better at anything,

  • you're most likely not going to be very confident. And now, the final point is about acceptance. Now, acceptance does not mean

  • settling, it does not mean

  • setting the bar low or giving up. It just means that

  • You see the situation for what

  • it is which, is really important because if you don't see the situation for what it is

  • you're not really making any room for

  • change or improvement. You know, for example, it's easy to go on a job interview,

  • not get the job, and tell yourself that the interviewer was bitter and

  • Rude, and that they're the one missing out. You know, essentially putting the entire blame on

  • them. And all of that might be true

  • It's likely not the whole truth, you know and not taking an honest look on the situation,

  • you're not allowing yourself to learn anything from that experience, which is a total waste if you ask me. Now,

  • acceptance is just as much about

  • taking responsibility

  • for your actions as it is giving yourself credit when it's due; and you know,

  • I struggle quite a bit with giving myself credit part, but I'm working on that

  • You know, I try to celebrate little wins and let myself know

  • when I've done a good job; and

  • yeah, I definitely don't forget that part. You know, even if you just cooked yourself a good meal

  • make sure you give yourself a pat on the shoulder.

  • You know, it might not seem like a big deal, but it is. Now like I said

  • this is a very broad topic and I could probably talk about this for hours on end

  • You know

  • I'm pretty passionate about this because I've seen so much wasted potential with people who just

  • haven't had the confidence to live out the way that they could have but I will be uploading a more in

  • depth post on this topic on my patreon. You can check that out if you would like, the support that I get there is

  • greatly appreciated.

  • And it truly helps me out a lot and I will be leaving a link for that in the description box if you're interested.

  • Now, please share any tips that you might have on confidence.

  • Thank you so much for watching this video and I will see you in the comment section.

(inaudible) I was saying that confidence is something that can be practiced

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A2 初級 美國腔

我如何變得自信(我的建議 (How I Became Confident (My Advice))

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    Vanessa 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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