Fantastic place Zambia.

尚比亞是個很棒的地方。

Went there, visited the place and had a good time.

去了那裡，參觀了這個地方，玩得很開心。

While I was there I had a chaperone who really made my trip.

當我在那裡的時候，我有一位伴遊，他真的讓我的旅行很順利。

His name was Alinani, a sweet guy.

他的名字叫 Alinani，一個可愛的小伙子。

And his job was to get me accustomed to the Zambian culture.

他的工作是讓我習慣尚比亞文化。

And every day he would give me a new piece of information, some more interesting than others.

每天他都會給我一個新的資訊，有些比其他的更有趣。

Like one day he looks at me and goes,

就像有一天他看著我：

"Trevor, you know Zambia is a very, very conservative nation."

「崔弗，尚比亞是一個非常非常保守的國家。」

I said, "Oh, okay Ali."

我說：「哦，好的，Ali。」

He says, "Yeah, so please stay away from profanity."

他說：「是的，所以請遠離髒話。」

So I said, "Okay, I can do that," I assumed he meant swearing.

所以我說：「好，我能做到。」我以為他的意思是罵髒話。

But I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure if he meant a person or swearing. I wasn't...

但我什麼也沒說，因為我不確定他指的是人還是髒話。 我不是...

No, no, because in Zambia, people have names like Profanity.

不，不，因為在尚比亞，人們會取「Profanity」之類的名字。

So, that's how I laughed when I met Screwdriver. That's the same way I laughed.

所以，當我遇到「螺絲起子」時，我就是這樣笑的。 我也是這樣笑的。

Yea, because you see, in South Africa, we have African names you can translate.

是的，因為你看，在南非，我們有可以翻譯，有意義的非洲名字。

Like Happiness, Blessing, Hope. Those kinds of names.

例如幸福、祝福、希望。 諸如此類的名字。

But then in Zambia, people give their names, like they give their children names of everyday English words, anything.

但在尚比亞，人們給自己取名字，他們給孩子取日常英文單字的名字。

So like, Table, Chair, Car, House.

就像桌子、椅子、汽車、房子。

You see like this. You just have to get used to it.

就是這樣。 習慣就好。

It's very hard, but you have to keep a straight face.

這很難，但你必須忍住不笑。

Which was difficult because I met a mechanic, who had sons named Brake and Clutch.

這很困難，因為我遇到了一位機械師，他有兩個兒子，分別叫煞車和離合器。

And that was not, especially when Brake was running around causing chaos.

尤其是當煞車到處亂跑造成混亂時。

And his dad was there like, Stop it, Brake, stop it, Brake, stop it, stop it, Brake."

他爸爸就在那裡，說：「停下來，剎車，停下來，剎車，停下來，停下來，剎車。」

And I was like, "Hey, stop it, Brake."

我當時就在笑：「嘿，停下來，煞車。」

But you have to get used to it, it's a cultural thing.

但你必須習慣它，這是一種文化。

And so, you have to respect it.

所以，你必須尊重它。

And the second warning Ali gave me, was even stranger.

Ali 給我的第二個警告甚至更奇怪。

We are driving through Lusaka, the capital.

我們開車經過首都路沙卡。

And Ali looks over at me in the car and goes,

Ali 在車上看著我，然後說：

"Trevor, you know here in Zambia we are a very God-loving nation."

「崔弗，你知道在尚比亞我們是一個非常熱愛上帝的國家。」

I said, "Oh, ok Ali. That's a good thing to know."

我說：「哦，好的，Ali。知道這一點真是太好了。」

He says, "Yes, so while you are here, don't be gay."

他說：「是的，所以當你在這裡的時候，不要當同性戀。」

I said, "What?"

我說：「什麼？」

He says, "I know it can be tempting sometimes but don't do it."

他說：「我知道有時這很誘人，但不要這樣做。」

"Don't be gay."

「不要當同性戀」

Don't be gay?

不要當同性戀？

I have never been warned of this in my life, don't be gay?

我這輩子沒這樣被警告過。不要當同性戀？

"Hey bru, don't be gay. Don't be gay."

「嘿，兄弟，不要當同性戀。不要當同性戀。」

Don't be gay?

不要當同性戀？

Crazy, crazy warning to get.

很瘋狂的警告。

But then I found out why Ali was warning me.

但後來我明白為什麼 Ali 警告我了。

Turns out in Zambia, being gay is illegal.

原來在尚比亞，同性戀是違法的。

If you are found to be gay, you will be arrested and sent to prison for more than thirty years, yea.

如果你被發現是同性戀，你會被逮捕並被判入獄三十多年，是的。

Which is a bit of a weird punishment when you think about it.

仔細想想，這是一個有點奇怪的懲罰。

I mean I am not saying that gay guys would enjoy prison, I am just saying if I was gay, that's not the worst thing you could do to me.

我的意思是，我並不是說同性戀者會喜歡坐牢，我只是說如果我是同性戀，那不是你能對我做的最糟糕的事情。

They would be like, "You are going to jail!"

他們會說：「你要進監獄了！」

I would be like, "Oh no."

我會嬌羞地說：「歐不。」

Don't be gay?

不要當同性戀？

I couldn't believe this. Gay is a crime in Zambia.

我簡直不敢相信這一點。 同性戀在尚比亞是一種犯罪行為。

Which got me thinking, if gay is a crime, that means the police have to monitor it.

這讓我想到，如果同性戀是一種犯罪，那就意味著警方必須監控。

They actually have to police gay. Yeah.

他們實際上必須監管同性戀。 是的。

Which means in their police force, they have a gay division.

這意味著在他們的警察隊伍中，他們有一個同性戀部門。

It's a crime, it's a crime.

這是犯罪，這是犯罪。

So that means they have a murder unit, a robbery unit, a white-collar crimes unit.

這意味著他們有一個謀殺小組、一個搶劫小組、一個白領犯罪小組。

And then they got a gay unit.

然後他們還有一個同性戀小組。

Yea, they have got a little G unit in their police force.

是的，他們的警察部隊裡有一個小 G 單位。

That's responsible for all things gay.

負責所有同性戀。

That must be the most fun police force to be in the world.

那一定是世界上最有趣的警察部隊。

You get to go under cover, dress up really nice.

你可以臥底，打扮得很漂亮。

Get in touch with your flamboyant side, have a good time.

接觸你華麗的一面，享受美好時光。

I bet the sergeant's there every morning, briefing his detectives.

我敢打賭，警官每天早上都會​​在那裡，向他的警探們匯報情況。

"Good morning, Detectives."

「早安，警探們。」

"Welcome everybody. Today, we will be launching a sting operation."

「歡迎大家。今天，我們將發起一次誘捕行動。」

"We have just been informed of a fashion show that will be taking place."

「我們剛剛獲悉即將舉辦一場時裝秀。」

"And as you know, the gays cannot resist the latest trends."

「如你們所知，同性戀者無​​法抗拒最新的時尚趨勢。」

"Therefore we will be in full attendance to apprehend each and every one of them."

「因此，我們將全力以赴逮捕他們每一個人。」

"Let us make sure we are here."

「來點名一下。」

"Detective Chepoa?"

「切波亞警探？」

"Present!"

「在！」

"Detective Table?"

「桌子警探？」

"Present!"

「在！」

"Detective Mongai?"

「Mongai 警探？」

"Present!"

「在！」

"I think he's in too deep."

「我想他入戲太深了。」

How do you police gay?

你要如何監管同性戀？

Do they stop you if you look suspiciously gay in the streets?

如果你在街上看起來像同性戀，他們會攔下你嗎？

I mean, gay doesn't have a look. But maybe you have a bounce about you, like a bit of pizazz.

我的意思是，同性戀沒有長相。 但也許你身上充滿同性戀的活力，就像一點活力。

Do the police pull up there and is like, "You, over there!"

警察會不會把車停在那裡然後說：「那邊那位！」

"What is the purpose of that flamboyant scarf?"

「那條花哨的圍巾是幹嘛用的？」

"Put your hands up!"

「舉起你的雙手！」

"Turn around! Don't tempt me, don't tempt me!"

「轉過來！別誘惑我，別誘惑我！」

"You are going to jail."

「你要進監獄了。」

How do you police gay?

你如何監管同性戀？

Do they have roadblocks? Like for drunk driving?

他們會設路障嗎？ 例如酒駕那種？

Do they have gay roadblocks?

他們會有同性戀路障嗎？

They are just like stopping people in their cars.

他們會攔車。

"Good evening, Officer."

「晚上好，警官。」

"Good evening, Sir."

「晚上好，先生。」

"License, Please."

「駕照，謝謝。」

"Thank you very much, Mr. Stylish. Hey?"

“非常感謝你，時尚先生是嗎？」

"Tell me Sir, have you been gay this evening?"

「告訴我先生，你今晚同性戀了嗎？」

"What? No, I have not been gay. In fact, I don't gay at all."

「什麼？不，我沒有同性戀。事實上，我根本不會同性戀。」

"I see, not even one or two?"

「我明白了，一次兩次都沒有嗎？」

"No, No. No gays for me. No gays for me."

「不，不。我不同性戀。我不同性戀。」

"Okay."

「好喔。」

"Then tell me Sir, what is that I can smell from your breath?"

「那先生，請告訴我，我從你的呼吸中聞到的味道是什麼？」

"Is that balls?"

「是丸子嗎？」(ball 在這暗指睪丸）

"No, no, no, I don't even eat chutney, no."

「不，不，不，我才不吃酸辣醬，不。」（chutney 暗指男同性戀愛愛完之後從屁屁流出來的東西，顏色有點像酸辣醬，請自行想像）

"So you are not gay?"

「所以你不是同性戀？」

"No, not gay at all."

「不是，一點都不是。」

"Then Sir, can you please blow into this?"

「那麼先生，可以請你吹吹這個嗎？」

Don't be gay.

不要當同性戀。

I was not gay while I was in Zambia, so I had a good time.

我在尚比亞的時候不是同性戀，所以我過得很開心。

Went around and saw the people.

去了很多地方，見到很多人。

The highlight of my trip came when on my day off. I asked Ali for suggestions.

我旅行的亮點是在我休息的時候。 我向 Ali 徵求建議。

Ali said to me, "Maybe you should travel around Lusaka, meet some of the people, just have a good time."

Ali 對我說：「也許你應該環遊路沙卡，見見一些人，玩得開心。」

I sai, "Ali, I want to do something special."

我說：「Ali，我想做一些特別的事情。」

He said, "Oh okay, in that case, maybe you can go to the mall and if you are lucky, maybe you can ride the escalators."

他說：「哦，好吧，既然如此，也許你可以去商場，如果幸運的話，也許你可以乘坐手扶梯。」

I said, "What?"

我說：「什麼？」

"Hey, I am not promising anything, but if you are early, maybe you can go once or twice."

「嘿，我沒有承諾什麼喔，不過如果你早去的話，也許可以搭一兩次。」

I said, "Escalators?"

我說：「手扶梯？」

"I know, mind-blowing, ha?"

「我知道，令人興奮，對吧？」

I thought he was messing with me.

我以爲他在鬧我。

Until I found out people in Zambia go to the mall just to ride the escalators.

直到我發現尚比亞人去商場只是為了坐手扶梯。

It seems ridiculous until you understand the backstory.

在你了解背景故事之前，這似乎很荒謬。

When we were in Zambia, there were only five public escalators.

當我們在尚比亞時，只有五部公共手扶梯。

Five, in the whole country.

整個國家只有五部。

The first escalator was built in August.

第一部在八月的時候才蓋好。

Not August 19??.

不是19多少年的八月。

No, no. You guys remember August?

不是，你們還記得今年八月吧？

They built they're first escalators, ever.

他們在今年八月剛蓋好第一部手扶梯。

Yea, and so now it is all the rage. People go to the mall just to ride escalators.

是的，所以它很流行。 人們去商場只是為了搭乘手扶梯。

But now, I don't want you to picture some dusty village.

但是，我不想讓你想像一些塵土飛揚的村莊。

That's not what Zambia is, it's a beautiful place.

尚比亞不是這樣的，它是一個美麗的地方。

They are developing just as we are, they've got roads.

他們和我們一樣在發達，他們有道路。

They've got airports, the've got beautiful hotels, stunning shopping malls.

他們有機場、漂亮的飯店、令人驚嘆的購物中心。

They've got everything we got, even faster internet.

他們擁有我們所擁有的一切，甚至更快的網路。

The have just never had escalators.

他們只是從來沒有手扶梯。

And now they started building them.

現在他們開始建造它們。

And because of that people go there, and they just spend a day riding escalators.

正因為如此，人們去那裡，他們就花一天時間搭乘手扶梯。

Yea, dads will go home and fetch their children.

是的，爸爸們會回家接他們的孩子。

"Children, we are going to the mall."

「孩子們，我們要去商場。」

"To do what, Daddy?"

「去幹嘛，爸爸？」

"To do shopping, and to ride the escalators!"

「去購物，然後去坐手扶梯！」

"Yay!"

「耶！」

We couldn't believe this so we went to the mall, right.

我們簡直不敢相信，所以我們去了購物中心。

We get to the mall. The mall is empty.

我們到了購物中心，裡面很空。

Escalators are packed!

但手扶梯擠滿了人！

People are standing in lines going around, doubling back on themselves.

人們排成一排，繞來繞去，然後又折回去搭。

There's old people, young people, even couples.

有老人，有年輕人，甚至有情侶。

There were couples. Guys that actually picked up woman by saying: "I am going to take you to the escalator, girl."

有情侶。 男生搭訕女生時會說：「我要帶你去搭手扶梯，女孩。」

"Oh, you are so fancy."

「喔，你真時髦。」

Escalators. Some people didn't even know how to ride the escalators.

手扶梯。有些人甚至不知道如何搭乘手扶梯。

Kids were easy, they just jumped on. Old people would panic.

孩子們很容易，他們就跳上去。 老人家會驚慌失措。

There was one guy who got on the escalator, and it was going up.

有一個人上了手扶梯，手扶梯正在上升。

And I guess to compensate for something in his mind, as it went up, he started leaning.

我猜是為了補償他心中的某些東西，當它上升時，他開始傾斜。

He fell down!

他摔倒了！

He was hurt so badly.

他受了這麼重的傷。

Oh, it was fantastic to watch.

看得很爽。

We spent like three hours doing this, just watching people riding escalators.

我們花了大約三個小時就看著人們乘坐手扶梯。

And you know what? Our patience paid off, because in hour three, the most fantastic thing happened.

你知道嗎？ 我們的耐心得到了回報，因為在第三個小時，最奇妙的事情發生了。

A school brought a class of children to the mall.

一所學校帶著一群孩子來到商場。

And their excursion was just to ride the escalators.

他們的遊覽只是為了搭乘手扶梯。

It was magic.

很奇妙。

Thirty kids, about five years old. Cutest things, they were in their black and white uniforms.

三十個孩子，五歲左右。 最可愛的是，他們穿著黑白制服。

And they are standing there together holding hands.

他們手牽手站在一起。

And they were so excited, they were shining.

他們是如此興奮，他們閃閃發光。

Not from excitement, they had Vaseline.

不是因為興奮，他們有抹凡士林。

And there is two teachers with the children, and they grab their hands on either end.

兩個老師和孩子們在一起，他們抓住孩子的手。

And in a long train, they start marching through the mall.

他們排成長長一排，開始穿過購物中心。

And as they do the start singing at the top of their lungs like little angels.

當他們這樣做時，他們開始像小天使一樣用肺頂唱歌。

"Escalator."

「手扶梯。」

"Escalator."

「手扶梯。」

"Escalator."

「手扶梯。」

"Oh, Oh, Ohhhhhhoh, escalator."

「喔喔喔喔喔，手扶梯。」

"Escalator."

「手扶梯。」

It was the sweetest thing ever.

超級可愛。

People are waving at them, smiling.

人們微笑著向他們招手。

And these kids see the escalators, and they lost their minds.

這些孩子看到手扶梯就失去了理智。

These kids went crazy.

變得很瘋。

They're not holding hands, they start screaming and running around.

他們沒有手牽著手，而是開始尖叫並四處奔跑。

It looked like a zombie movie, or something.

它看起來像殭屍電影什麼的。

They are jumping, but then you see the smiles on their faces.

他們跳來跳去，但隨後你會看到他們臉上的笑容。

It's like the end of Saraphina. You are like, "What the hell is going on here?"

這就像電影《奔向驕陽》的結尾一樣， 你會想：「這到底是怎麼回事？」

These kids are screaming and having the time. They are jumping around doing cartwheels.

這些孩子們尖叫著，玩得很開心。 他們跳來跳去，做側空翻。

The teacher can't control them. She's panicking like, "Hey! Get back! Get Back! Two-by-Two! Two-by-Two!"

老師無法控制他們。 她驚慌失措：「嘿！回來！回來！Two-by-Two！Two-by-Two！」

Two-by-Two was one of the kids, I didn't know.

我本來不知道 Two-by-Two 是其中一個孩子。

She's like, "Two-by-Two! Next to me, next to me!"

她就說：「Two-by-Two！來我旁邊，來我旁邊！」

Other kids are still jumping, she can't control them.

其他孩子還在跳，她控制不了。

There was one fat kid. He couldn't jump so he just shook himself.

有一個小胖子。 他跳不起來，只能搖晃自己。

"Escalator!"

「手扶梯！」

"Escalator!"

「手扶梯！」

It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my life.

這是我一生中見過的最奇妙的事。

It's like I had gone in a time machine to a time when escalators were new.

這就像我搭乘時光機回到了手扶梯還很新的年代。

Brand new and popular.

全新而且很受歡迎。

So popular that people were taking pictures of the escalators, using their iPhones!

非常受歡迎，以至於人們都用 iPhone 拍攝手扶梯的照片！

"Technology, eh?"

「科技真厲害，對吧？」

"Who even thinks of these things? Can you imagine?"

「誰會想到做出這個東西？你能想像嗎？」

"Eh, we are in the future now, my man!"

「我們現在回在未來，老兄！」

"A kind of moving stairs, ah?"

「一種會動的樓梯，對吧？」

"What are we going to see next? I don't even know, I don't even know!"

「接下來我們會看到什麼更厲害的東西？我不知道，我不知道！」

"I wonder how it works, ah!?"

「不知道這怎麼運作的。」

"Let me just check there." "Siri, how does an escalator work?"

「我來確認一下。」「Siri，手扶梯是如何運作的？」

"I don't know."

「我不知道。」