a new feature we’re going to be doing called healthy versus hell with it, so healthy will

be on Tuesday, and that’ll be healthy version of whatever because Tuesday you know, you’re

still kind of feeling pumped from the weekend, and you’re like this is the week I’m really

going to get it together and like eat good all week, but then by Thursday you’re kind

of like, oh my God! To hell with this. Shoot me in the face and give me something with

cheese on it. So today we’re going to do healthy turkey burgers, and then on Thursday

we’ll do some with like bacon and cheese and burgers and buns and maybe even some wieners

in it.

[MUSIC]

[Turkey Burger Recipe]

>> Hilah: All right, we’ve got some lean, ground turkey breast here. I am gonna add

some salsa, any salsa that you like, and we’re just gonna mix this together. The first thing,

wash your hands, especially if you’re a dirty masturbator, you know who you are. Just

kidding, masturbation is fine unless it’s against your religion, then you’re going

to hell. Oh man [laughs]. I am gonna go to hell. Okay, so we just want to get this sort

of mixed up, and the salsa is gonna add flavor, and also keep it a little moist like I was

saying when we did the turkey taco salad, turkey can be a little dry because it is so

lean. Of course you don’t have to get turkey breasts. You could just get ground turkey,

and then that’s probably got the same amount of fat as like a regular ground beef. So you

don’t wanna like mash it too much, but get if thoroughly incorporated, and then we’re

gonna divide this is into two patties, and I think it’s best, especially with turkey

burgers to make your patties sort of more thinner, more thinner, that was terrible English.

Make your patties thinner than you would a beef burger because we want to cook them fairly

quickly to keep it from drying out. Good, just try to get it as round as you can. That

one looks pretty good. Number two wasn’t that just pretty as a picture, pretty as a

picture of a raw turkey burger. Okay, now, I am going to, I’ve got some salt and pepper

here. We are gonna contaminate the entire world. Forgive me. I’ll wash it later, swears.

So, I’ve got just some salt and pepper, and I like to put this on the outside. It

adds a nice, little texture, very nice. C’mon little buddy. Okay. Good. If you want to add

some garlic salt to the outside too, that would be nice. The salsa that I am using is

super-garlicky, so I am gonna ixnay the arlic saltay, but okay, awesome! Now, we’ve just

got to cook ‘em.

Practically done! Ha haw haa! All right, I’ve got a skillet here heating up over pretty

high heat. I am just gonna add a tiny, little bit of oil because we need that, but not a

whole not. Be judicious. There’s a big word. Okay, so once your oil starts to look really

fluid, like it’s warm, it’s lubricating, it’s doing its job, we put our burgers in

and just leave it alone. We’re not gonna be flippin’ it back and forth and screwin’

with it all the time. We just want to leave it alone until it’s easy to get your spatula

under there until it sort of naturally releases on its own which, you know, might take a minute,

two minutes, whatever. It depends on how hot your skillet is and a bunch of other factors,

etc.. Okay, after about three minutes over a medium-high we can go ahead and flip it,

and while it’s out of there sort of tilt your plan to get that oil that’s around

the edges sort of redistributed towards the center. Mmmm hmmm, and now I am going to leave

it on sort of a medium heat and just sort of put a lid on it to make sure that that

interior gets cooked unlike with a beef burger or something you don’t want to serve a rare

turkey burger. That’s just gross. All right, so just a couple of minutes later on this

medium heat, and you can check it with a thermometer, or just put a little fork in it. Stick a fork

in it! And if the juices that come out are clear, then you’re in the clear, so we’re

ready to serve.

So, I’ve got my little warmed-up buns here. If you wanted to, you could totally do this

open-faced. I mean, you know, it’s up to you, whatever, you can do whatever you want.

It’s a free country, but you could do an open-faced. You could do it in a wrap. You

could do it just like in lettuce. Sort of maybe make them a little bit more tubular

shaped. Tubular dude! And then wrap it up in a lettuce leaf instead of bread. You know,

I mean I don’t know. I think everyone has a very different idea of what healthy means.

This is the very traditional like 1980s version of healthy I think. So, and then I’ve got

some pickles. I have a little chopped onion, some lettuce, and then here I’ve got some

carrot slices which, you know, if you just have to have like chips or fries with your

burger, you can totally like thinly slice some really crisp and cold carrots. Put a

little salt on them. Close your eyes just like you’re eating a Pringle, swear to God.

Okay, well I’ll cut it in half and show the rainbow of colors and hopefully show you

the properly cooked burger inside. We’ll see. Ohhhhh lovely! That’s gorgeous! Oh

my God it smells so good! It smells like super-badass, awesome garlicky salsa. Holy crap! That is

fantastic. Doing the salt and pepper on the outside I am telling y’all si like the numero

uno tip from me to you for turkey burgers because it just has this like super-nice crust

on it. It’s really peppery. It’s salty. Oh, my God! I don’t, I mean I wouldn’t

ever miss beef. If you are feeding someone who is all like, beef, beef, beef, try this,

see if they, I think they might like it. I think they might change their ways. So there

you go. There’s a healthy turkey burger, you know, by my definition of healthy, whatever.

Stay tuned on Thursday for a very unhealthy version of something else. If you have any

questions about the recipe, please leave them below in the comments. I’ll get to them

as soon as I can. In the meantime I hope you try it and enjoy! Boner appetite y’all!

[MUSIC]