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  • This is the Technical Difficulties, we're playing Citation Needed.

  • Joining me today, he reads books y'know, it's Chris Joel.

  • More of a value pack with each passing year.

  • Everybody's favourite Gary Brannan, Gary Brannan.

  • ♪ I kissed a gull, and I liked it

  • Did you just say gull?

  • Yes, that was the joke.

  • -Okay, just... just clarifying that. -Enunciate, then!

  • And the bounciest man on the internet, Matt Gray.

  • ♪ I... didn't come up with anything to say here. ♪

  • In front of me I've got an article from Wikipedia and these folks can't see it.

  • Every fact they get right is a point and a ding.

  • And there's a special prize for particularly good answers which is...

  • -That was pretty good. -Yeah.

  • And today we are talking about the Norwegian butter crisis.

  • Awrgh!

  • Of all the crises, up there with Cuban missile, I always find.

  • I can't believe that it's not a margarine crisis.

  • Well, that actually clarifies what I was going to ask which is...

  • -Clarifies! -Clarifies!

  • I'd like to say it was on purpose - no.

  • Just slid into that one.

  • The Norwegian butter crisis.

  • Was it a crisis involving butter?

  • In Norway.

  • You can both technically have a point for that, but I'd like a bit more.

  • Is that a bit like an essay question where you're just repeating the title

  • basically to get you out of deep water?

  • Now the question I have to try and think of the answer of is,

  • did they have too much or too little?

  • -Because... -"Aargh! There's so much butter!"

  • -I'm going for too much butter. -Butterlanche!

  • -Butterlanche? -Butterlanche.

  • The question was too much or too little?

  • -Well, too much. -Too little.

  • Exactly the right amount, which freaked everybody out.

  • Gary gets the point.

  • Too little butter.

  • So if there's a butter crisis does that mean there's a milk crisis going on as well?

  • -Oh! -Ooh. Yes.

  • Because doesn't butter come from milk?

  • Yes, it does.

  • Yay! Do I get a point for that?

  • Yeah. You don't get a point for butter coming from milk,

  • but you do get the point for

  • But, yes, heavy rains during the summer affected the grazing of cows and reduced milk production.

  • So what happens if there is a shortage of butter?

  • You buy butter from somewhere else.

  • Toast is awful, it's just dry with a topping.

  • We're talking basic supply and demand here, there is less butter therefore

  • Butter is more costly and only available to the crown heads of Europe.

  • I'm... I'm giving you a point for the first half of that answer.

  • Norway was gripped by smørpanikk which translates as...?

  • Some more panic.

  • Some more...

  • -Butter panic. -Yes.

  • I can think of like a Norwegian panic scale

  • which is "nor-panic, smør-panik, lots of panic".

  • So, yes, it got to the point where a single pack of imported Lurpak butter

  • Oh, Lurpak, oh...

  • Cost, oh, you know what, we get to do Price is Right rules here.

  • Here is a pack of butter.

  • -A pack this big? -Import...

  • -Here is a pack of butter. -Here is a pack of butter.

  • Mid-December 2011,

  • -so this is recent. -Salted or unsalted?

  • -It does not specify. -Because it does depend on the use,

  • because if it's unsalted that's more your bakers who are going to be throwing money at it.

  • Oh, no, this is... this is very much dietary butter.

  • -Dietary... -Dietary butter?

  • Dietary butter, there's a butter diet now?

  • I quote.

  • Slice it like cheese and put it on toast.

  • -Place your bids? -1,000 krone.

  • -1,000 krone. -Oh, s***, we're doing it in krone?

  • No, we're not doing it in krone, I don't have a calculator here.

  • I'm doing it in krone.

  • 1,000 krone is about 100 quid, I think.

  • Yeah, that's more or less 100 quid, so

  • 1,000 krone!

  • I'm going to say the equivalent of 25 quid.

  • I was going to say 100 quid, but he's already got that, so let's say £150 or 1,500 krone.

  • Gary is correct, £32 for a small pack of butter.

  • Hang on, 32 quid for a pack of butter?

  • Yeah. It's about the same as you pay in Saino's now for Lurpak.

  • So why did this not get resolved by... by the free hand of capitalism?

  • Because the free hand of capitalism had too much butter on it,

  • it was all slippy and couldn't grip it.

  • They could pass the butter but they couldn't pick up the corners.

  • Just sliding out of their hands.

  • I think the butterfingers of capitalism

  • has just summed up everything that's wrong with the world, Gary.

  • I'm giving, yeah, you know what...

  • Mystery Biscuits.

  • Hey!

  • Actual satire.

  • Why did they not just import more butter?

  • -Tariffs. -Yes.

  • 'Cos… 'cos not in EU.

  • -Yes. -Topical.

  • Hold on everybody, Radio 4, Radio 4, get the...

  • get the big reel to reel recorders running, we're coming.

  • Yes, tariffs on butter, there was a deficit of 500 to 1,000 tons of butter in the country.

  • Just one shipping container.

  • That they can see over the border in...

  • ...Sweden? Norway?

  • -Yeah. -Yeah.

  • That is a land border.

  • Yes.

  • (Thank you.)

  • I'm all a bit hazy around that region, I don't know who's next to what.

  • Surely that affected Sweden as well because the weather should be similar around there, right?

  • You say that, what did some Swedes do?

  • Did they taunt them on the border by eating really thickly buttered toast?

  • -I'd do that. -I would actually, yeah.

  • To Lancashire!

  • Post butter over the border?

  • -Try and make... -Smuggle, butter smugglers!

  • Yes.

  • What's in the van? "Nøt bütter."

  • A number of individuals were apprehended by the authorities

  • for attempting to smuggle butter across the border,

  • whilst Swedes posted online adverts offering to drive butter to Norwegians.

  • Did they get around the customs by greasing their palms?

  • Hey!

  • No.

  • A Danish television show also broadcast something.

  • Television.

  • I need to learn to be more specific with my questions.

  • Did they just have some slow TV, Norway style,

  • but of just butter melting in a kitchen somewhere?

  • Someone's just watching going, "What a waste."

  • Sad chefs with empty pans go looking with big puppy dog eyes.

  • And going, "If only I had some butter."

  • Do you know what, yes, they broadcast a satirical emergency appeal to send butter.

  • This isn't a joke, there are people without butter in this country.

  • They gathered 4,000 packs to be distributed to butter starved Norwegians.

  • -Bloody hell. -Really.

  • There's a lot of very dark stuff in here, but there is also the Ark of Taste.

  • What?

  • Is that like the Ark of the Covenant but withwith tasty treats?

  • "Don't look at it! It's full of...!"

  • The butter just comes flying out, fried foods.

  • "I'm melting!" But it's butter, it's all just butter.

  • Is it an institution kind of thing that is a... a catalogue of national tastes?

  • So would it have the fermented fishy canny thing in it?

  • Almost, there's one word you're missing in there,

  • which is, yes, it's a catalogue of international foodstuffs and tastes and things like that.

  • Extinct.

  • Nearly.

  • You're not longer culturally dying out like Welsh died out, that sort of thing...

  • That'll do, endangered heritage foods.

  • So is it all stuff that people either can't be arsed to make any more,

  • they've decided it's not good for you and it's gone out of fashion kind of stuff

  • and then everyone's forgotten about it?

  • Yeah, pretty much, it may not be forgotten about, but it could be.

  • Or rules have presented it being done like unpasteurised milk, that kind of thing.

  • Does anyone want to name some of the things that are in the United Kingdom section of the articles,

  • just in terms of categories, if not exact things, what are we famous for historically?

  • Cornish pasties?

  • No, they're fine, aren't they?

  • There's loads of those, there was one on York Station this morning.

  • Just lying there abandoned, sad music playing over the top of it.

  • Some kind of cheese?

  • Yeah, it's mostly cheeses and grains, that's… that's the history of Britain right there.

  • What a great duo they were: cheese and grains.

  • -And potatoes. -Potatoes, really?

  • -Potatoes. -Any specific famous potatoes you might know?

  • King Edward?

  • Maris Piper?

  • You're just naming potatoes now.

  • That's what you asked us to do.

  • -What we're looking for here… -What, an individually famous potato?

  • What we're looking for here is the pointless answer.

  • The Koh-i-Noor potato that sat in the royal crown up until 1640,

  • until the English Civil War the middle of the English crown had a f***ing spud in it.

  • Jersey Royal, apparently...

  • How are they endangered?

  • It is listed here as being thisthis endangered thing.

  • I smell bulls***.

  • Not in there.

  • Not in there, not in there sadly, there is old Gloucester beef.

  • Old Gloucester beef is just an argument in old Gloucester.

  • Well, you enjoyed it.

  • Not to be confused with a double Gloucester beef when there's only one piece of cheese left,

  • And you can't decide who wants it.

  • Come on Radio 4, come on, this is good.

  • We also have under food politics, the British Restaurant.

  • That from World War

  • I saw, sorry, I saw your face go there.

  • -Ding! -That was the face of Gary going,

  • "I have remembered an archive fact."

  • Can I just say, readers, there's a... one of my things I'd like to get out on this

  • -Did you just call them readers? -Yes.

  • They may be reading.

  • They're that bored they've all got a book out.

  • Not every fact comes from intelligent things, this is from Dad's Army.

  • The British Restaurant was a national restaurant in the Second World War,

  • that sold cheap andcheap and good food to people.

  • -Yes, -Not just soldiers.

  • Absolutely right. It was a government... it was originally a community feeding centre.

  • -then Winston Churchill came along and… -Why did they change the name?

  • Yeah, Winston Churchill came along and decided that British Restaurant was a better name.

  • "The British Restaurant."

  • "We're serving brandy and you can have a large plate of brandy."

  • "And some cheese."

  • We also have the category here in Wikipedia of butter.

  • There is an entire article on Lurpak,

  • there is also an entire article on someone called Norma Lyon - L-Y-O-N.

  • She's an American farmer and an artist.

  • Who painted in butter or carved into butter.

  • -Yes. -Like the Lurpak advert,

  • remember it, this was in the 90s.

  • Yes, born in Nashville, Tennessee, what kind of things did she carve out of butter?

  • -President's faces. -Busts.

  • Cubes. Bricks.

  • Cathedrals.

  • They're made of bricks, just made of bricks.

  • Well, this was a specific thing at the Iowa state fair, and has been every year.

  • -Corn. -It's... oh, it's very apt

  • that you would carve this out of butter, it's almost

  • -A cow. -A cow.

  • Yes.

  • The Iowa state fair butter cow.

  • That's taking the piss a little bit, isn't it?

  • Well, taking the milk, but you know.

  • If you're taking the piss, something's gone very wrong with your butter, mate.

  • Do they carve a specific cow or just the generic concept of cow?

  • Eh?

  • Oh, wow, Plato's World of the Buttery Cave.

  • Eh, how does that work?

  • Did they carve a cow or did they carve Daisy?

  • Oh, right, so a specific cow or just like an outline of, you know, cows. Yeah

  • So Daisy can look at butter Daisy made from Daisy's butter.

  • No, it was a generic cow,

  • but there were also some other topical things that were carved alongside it.

  • A milk urn or whatever it's called.

  • No, topical for whatever was going on in the world that year.

  • A tank.

  • -Well, it would have been World War 2. -What was the year?

  • Basically every... what I have for a list here is everything since 1996.

  • Every year since 1996 they've carved something out of butter?

  • They've carved both a butter cow, that's been since 1911

  • and since '96 there's been something else there.

  • -Tony Blair. -Spice Girls.

  • We've both hit 1996 there.

  • You see, what was weird was what I didn't get out in time was 'Mr Blobby',

  • so I would've been about '96.

  • I think we were in Britain in 1996, weren't we?

  • No, some of the things include Tiger Woods,

  • when he... when he won the golf.

  • -Bill Clinton. -A saxophone,

  • something that's definitely just a cigar?

  • -Yes. -Ah. No, that... that year...

  • What year was that? Good grief.

  • That would be about 99, no, 97, it will have been around 96, 97.

  • No, an American eagle was there that year.

  • America.

  • And in 2007, Harry Potter.

  • -Of course. -Wow!

  • -Harry Butter. -Hairy butter?

  • -Hairy butter? -Send it back to the cow.

  • Alright, there was one last thing I want to talk about in the category of butter.

  • The great sentences of our time!

  • This is the butter episode, and I would like us to talk

  • The butter episode.

  • About artificial butter flavouring.

  • Eurgh, just don't.

  • God, you sound like this chair at an agricultural conference,

  • "There is... and finally, delegates, there is one thing I would like to talk about,

  • "the scourge of artificial butter flavouring."

  • "Crusty butterers."

  • The thing is: it is a scourge.

  • It is a scourge?

  • A scourge is actually a pretty good word for this.

  • Things that are calling themselves butter when they aren't really butter,

  • but they've got pretend butter in them.

  • Yeah, it's butter flavouring that goes into other stuff.

  • "'Tis but-ter flavouring!"

  • And that's from the new BBC2 series, "William Shakespeare, food analyst".

  • Including a very modern bit of technology.

  • -VR. -iPhones!

  • No, we're looking for something pretty modern, technology that's…

  • that's used by a lot of people.

  • Condoms. Buttery condoms.

  • Oh, no.

  • -No. -Hey, I've seen whiskey flavoured

  • and smoky bacon flavoured ones in pubs, so that must be possible.

  • Those are the crisps, Gary.

  • The thing you're going to in the bathroom to get your crisps from, they're not crisps.

  • Oh, that's where the kid came from.

  • This is something that is causing lung problems.

  • -Fags. -Oh, vape!

  • -Yes. -Buttery vape?

  • Buttery vape, popcorn flavoured vape

  • or butter and popcorn flavoured vape was a thing for a while.

  • And now they are trying to sell it without these chemicals in.

  • But that... that is vaporising some liquid, so can you just put butter in it?

  • Use aerosol butter, yeah.

  • Or spreadable, that's more liquefied, isn't it?

  • Yes, yeah, yeah, more oils though, you've got to be careful.

  • I don't think inhaling actual butter is a...

  • is any better than inhaling diacetyl fumes.

  • Ah, but is it tastier?

  • There's only one way to find out, folks.

  • Smash cut.

  • And why didn't that flavouring, that margarine, everything like that,

  • why didn't that solve the Norwegian butter crisis?

  • Because it's dreadful.

  • Yes, that is actually the case.

  • Well, margarine, if you've ever seen it in its natural form, is really unappetising,

  • just a grey lump, isn't it?

  • It is coloured yellow so it looks more like butter, and therefore appetising.

  • Yeah, you're absolutely right, margarine was such a poor substitute by Norwegian standards,

  • that they went out and bought the butter instead.

  • I have lower standards than Norway.

  • And what year was this?

  • 2011.

  • Oh, so that was still when you could get reasonable butter substitute?

  • Yeah, because...

  • It's still... it is still definitely a substitute?

  • It is still definitely a substitute and that was why there was smør-panik,

  • butter panic in Norway.

  • And that's what the Smiths song, 'Panic' is about.

  • Panic in the streets of Oslo?

  • Yeah, but Morrissey will be enjoying that because he's a vegan,

  • he's known as a vegan, isn't he?

  • I think what we're learning here is that Morrissey caused the butter crisis.

  • "Morrissey!"

  • Matt, congratulations, Matt, you win the show.

  • Yay!

  • You win a chocolate bar shaped like a cartoon frog

  • that is also the lead singer of a Queen tribute act.

  • F*** off, I've got this.

  • Gary?

  • Freddo Mercury.

  • And with that we say thank you to Chris Joel,

  • to Gary Brannan,

  • to Matt Gray.

  • I've been Tom Scott, we'll see you next time.

This is the Technical Difficulties, we're playing Citation Needed.

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B1 中級

挪威黃油危機與美味的方舟。需要引用8x02 (The Norwegian Butter Crisis and the Ark of Taste: Citation Needed 8x02)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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