Name: 超爆笑！喜劇演員 Bill Burr 的人口爆炸解決方案 (Bill Burr Tackles The Population Problem | Netflix Is A Joke)
Uploaded: 2020-07-04T21:01:20.000Z
Duration: 5 min 17 s

What the hell have I been doing with my life?

But I hate going to the gym, so I decided I'd go veggie twice a week.

但我討厭去健身房，所以決定一週吃兩次素食。

Five o'clock, that's what I realized about myself, you know that?

只能到五點鐘，而你知道這讓我認知到什麼嗎？

Something has to die every day in order for me to live.

每天都有東西死掉，就為了讓我存活。

Something's got to get its beak chopped off, its feathers yanked, uppercut to its jaw, just in order for me to survive.

鳥嘴被剁掉、羽毛被拉出來、下顎被用上鉤拳打，只是為了讓我活下去。

They said if everybody went vegan, if everybody went vegan or vegetarian, whatever the hell they said.

他們說如果大家都開始吃純素、蛋奶素，或隨便哪種素。

They said it'll be great for the environment, you know.

I guess there's all this cattle standing around, and when they fart, the gas goes up in the atmosphere and causes something.

應該是因為有群牛站在那裡，他們放屁的時候，氣體會往上到大氣，造成一些事情。

You know, "If everybody went vegan, the air would be—"

像是「如果大家都吃素，空氣會——」

"If everybody drove an electric car, if everybody just had some snowshoes on."

「如果大家都開電動車、如果大家都把雪鞋穿上。」

Right, they just won't come out and say it.

Nobody has the balls to come out and just say, "Look, 85 percent of you have to go."

沒人有膽量站出來說：「聽著，八成五的你們都得死。」

I have been bitching about the population problem for three specials in a row.

我已經連續在三場特輯裡罵人口問題了。

Waiting for some politician to have the balls to bring it up, but they won't do it, they won't do it.

等著一些政治人物有膽量提起它，但他們通通不敢。

You can't run with that as your platform.

Coming out there: "And if elected, I would implement a program to immediately eliminate at least 85 percent of you!"

出來劈頭就說：「如果我被選上，我會實施一項措施，立刻消滅你們至少八成五的人！」

"This planet cannot sustain the sheer numbers—let me finish!"

「這個星球不能承受所有的人口——讓我說完！」

"Under your seats is a multiple choice questionnaire!"

「你們的座位底下有多選的問卷！」

"If you did not bring a pencil, you're already out!"

「如果你沒帶鉛筆，你已經出局了！」

You got to be fucking nice, especially this day and age, man.

你需要他 X 的友善，特別是在這個時代。

Everybody getting in trouble, all these goddamn groups out there, bitch, moaning and complaining anytime anybody says anything.

每個人都會陷入麻煩，那些天殺的團體，一天到晚因為某人說的某件事在抱怨。

"I didn't mean to say that it's an ugly-ass dog, nah."

「我不是故意說它是一種醜到爆的狗。」

What do you got, two million people in your group?

"I'm gonna join a group, that's what I'm gonna do today."

「我今天要加入一個團體，這就是我今天要做的事。」

That's the same way I look at people who got upset about, you know, Michael Sam, the gay football player kissing his boyfriend when he got drafted.

我就是這樣看待那些不爽 Michael Sam (同性戀美式足球員) 在被選上時親他男友的人。

Everybody bitch, moaning and complaining.

每個人都在抱怨、抱怨、抱怨。

It's like, dude, that's what you get for watching the draft, alright?

老兄，這本來就是你看選秀會看到的啊？

Now once again, what kind of a fucking loser just sits there watching round after round?

再說一次，到底哪種魯蛇會一遍又一遍的地看著選秀啊？

「我覺得他們需要一個四分衛。」

"They need to improve their defensive line."

Dude, that's like going to a graduation ceremony where you don't know anybody who's graduating.

老兄，這就像參加一場畢業典禮，但你根本不知道有誰要畢業。

They're gonna have the whole list the next day.

他們隔天會把整個單子列出來。

They'll have everybody, who drafted who, when.

Fucking got to sit there and watch that shit.

他 X 的得坐在那裡看那種東西。

"Yeah, you're a member of the Buffalo Bills."

「嗯，你是水牛城比爾隊的一員。」

"Gonna try to do my best, it's a great organization, and the same shit the last 80 guys said, so yeah"

「我會盡全力、這是個很棒的組織，就跟前面八十個人說的東西一樣。」

With birthday cake in his mouth and a Santa Claus hat on his head, just to ruin the entire year.

嘴裡放生日蛋糕，頭頂戴上聖誕老公公帽，把一整年毀掉。

People apologizing to them like they have some sort of power.

人們對他們道歉，好像他們有什麼權力一樣。

聽著，如果你做了爛事，就道歉。

But other than that, yeah, go fuck yourself.

但沒有的話，就不要他 X 的理別人。

字幕列表影片播放

超爆笑！喜劇演員 Bill Burr 的人口爆炸解決方案 (Bill Burr Tackles The Population Problem | Netflix Is A Joke)

eliminate

improve

realize

arbitrary