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  • - [Trevor] Are you a busy person who's always on the go?

  • This next podcast is for you.

  • No bull, no filler,

  • just news and analysis that's straight to the point.

  • No beating around the bush, no wasting your time,

  • no repetition.

  • We know you're a busy person who's always on the go.

  • This next podcast is for you.

  • Buckle your seat belts.

  • Desi Lydic and Michael Kosta present, Podcast Today.

  • (upbeat music)

  • - [Michael] Hello, and welcome to Podcast Today,

  • where we cut through the noise and bring you real talk

  • about what's happening today.

  • - [Desi] I'm Desi Lydic.

  • - [Michael] I'm Michael Kosta.

  • - [Desi] Before we get to today's episode,

  • some quick housekeeping.

  • Thursday's pod will be released at 6 p.m.

  • instead of 1 p.m. because I have to take my dog

  • to the dentist.

  • - [Michael] Also a little more housekeeping,

  • Friday's show is a listener mailbag.

  • Send those questions to podtodayletters@mindspring.emai.

  • - [Desi] One last bit of housekeeping,

  • Thursday's pod will be at 1 p.m. again,

  • my dog no longer has a cavity.

  • - [Michael] Oh, terrific.

  • - [Desi] Turns out my dog didn't have a cavity,

  • he just ate a Sharpie.

  • - [Michael] We should also mention tickets are now on sale

  • to our live shows in Oklahoma City,

  • Minneapolis and Hartford.

  • - [Desi] Right, use code I'm with podcasts or--

  • - [Michael] San Antonio, Jacksonville, Biloxi, Philadelphia.

  • - [Desi] Right, and you can use code--

  • - [Michael] Detroit, Miami, Green Bay, Providence, Atlanta.

  • Chesapeake, Fresno, Norfolk and Boise.

  • - [Desi] Is that all?

  • Can I announce a code now?

  • - [Michael] Go for it.

  • - [Desi] Use code, I'm with podcast--

  • - [Michael] Indianapolis, St. Louis and Providence,

  • we'll see you soon.

  • - [Desi] Use code, I'm with podcast for two percent off

  • early bird tickets.

  • - [Michael] I forgot to mention Branson, Missouri.

  • We're also going to be in Branson, Missouri.

  • (upbeat music)

  • - [Desi] Hey, just a reminder that

  • you should follow @podcasttoday on Twitter.

  • - [Michael] Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook--

  • - [Desi] TikTok--

  • - [Michael] Pinterest--

  • - [Desi] MySpace--

  • - [Michael] AdultFriendFinder--

  • - [Desi] And of course, the weightlifting forums.

  • (upbeat music)

  • - [Michael] This episode of podcast today

  • is brought to you by Shrimp Fix.

  • - [Desi] Every week, Shrimp Fix sends you a 24 pound

  • box of delicious Gulf shrimp.

  • - [Michael] Are you tired of walking down the sidewalk

  • with a big net full of shrimp?

  • Try Shrimp Fix.

  • It's shrimp delivered straight to your front door.

  • - [Desi] Knock, knock.

  • Who's there?

  • Look on your doorstep.

  • It's a big box of shrimp.

  • - [Michael] Are you still going to the grocery store

  • to buy shrimp?

  • What are you Amish?

  • - [Desi] Log on to shrimpfix.com/podcasttoday

  • and your first order will come

  • with a free bucket of tartar sauce.

  • (upbeat music)

  • - [Michael] Before we get started,

  • we have an exciting announcement about a new partnership.

  • - [Desi] Podcast Today is teaming up with the good folks

  • at votesbank.org for a great project.

  • Here's the deal, ahead of the election, votesbank.org

  • and Podcast Today are going to make polling sites

  • brand spanking new.

  • - [Michael] That's right Desi, we're going to renovate

  • and de-vermin church basements, school gyms,

  • abandoned circuit cities,

  • anywhere votes are going to be cast.

  • - [Desi] No more polling places will be closed

  • because of raccoon infestations, unlike the last time.

  • - [Michael] All you have to do to participate

  • is go to votesbank.org, sign up, give them your name,

  • email address, birth date, home address,

  • work address, income level.

  • - [Desi] You just show up in some loose fitting clothes

  • preferably all black, bring some work gloves, a ski mask

  • and 20 feet of nautical grade rope and you're all set.

  • - [Michael] Let's spank this election, flat palms,

  • big wind up, firm contact.

  • - [Desi] Votesbank.org.

  • Together we can make democracy brand spanking new.

  • (upbeat music)

  • - [Michael] You know, I think it's time to

  • introduce our guest, Desi.

  • - [Desi] Yeah, that's right.

  • He's a correspondent for The Daily Show

  • with Trevor Noah, Jaboukie Young-White.

  • - [Jaboukie] Thanks so much for having me.

  • You know, the studio is a lot smaller

  • than I thought it would be.

  • (group laughing)

  • - [Desi] Now Jaboukie, before we talk shop,

  • you have a book to promote?

  • - [Jaboukie] Yes, well it's actually more

  • like a Twitter account.

  • It's my Twitter account @Jaboukie.

  • - [Michael] Cool and where can our listeners

  • find your Twitter account?

  • - [Jaboukie] On Twitter.

  • - [Michael] Fantastic, I can't wait to read it, Desi.

  • - [Desi] Before we get to Jaboukie,

  • we just have a little more housekeeping.

  • Podcast Today is looking for new theme music.

  • - [Michael] So if you're an amateur composer

  • and you want to compose our theme song for free,

  • you can submit your compositions

  • at podcasttodaymusic@prodigy.net.

  • - [Desi] Just a few guidelines.

  • Your theme song has to be original.

  • - [Michael] It has to be less than 30 seconds.

  • - [Desi] It has to be funky.

  • - [Michael] It must include a flute.

  • - [Desi] There can't be any screams in the background.

  • - [Michael] And it must be in a frequency

  • that sends marine life into a frenzy.

  • - [Desi] Lyrics cannot include slurs

  • against Macedonians or Turks.

  • - [Michael] But they must include at least two references

  • to Sigourney Weaver.

  • - [Desi] Get those submissions in guys,

  • can't wait to hear them.

  • - [Michael] Okay, we want to remind our listeners

  • to check out our sister pod, Podcast Today this week.

  • - [Desi] This week on Podcast Today,

  • this week will have some amazing guests,

  • including Montana Governor

  • and former presidential candidate Steve Bullock.

  • - [Michael] Is he related to Sandra Bullock?

  • - [Desi] That's what we're going to find out, tune in.

  • - [Michael] You know what I was thinking?

  • If Sandra Bullock were the first lady, she'd turn

  • the White House into The Lake House, you know I'm saying?

  • - [Desi] I don't think I do.

  • - [Jaboukie] Yeah, what does that mean?

  • - [Michael] You know, The Lake House.

  • 2006?

  • Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock exchange love letters

  • through a mysterious time space portal

  • inside of a lake house's mailbox?

  • - [Desi] Podcast Today is brought to you by Claire Space.

  • Need a website specifically dedicated to Claire Danes?

  • Use Claire Space, we have thousands of different templates

  • you can use to create a website revolving around

  • the actress Claire Danes and nothing else.

  • I'm serious.

  • If you try to make the website about muffins or something

  • then your computer will crash and give you a virus.

  • Claire Space because Claire Danes is a national treasure.

  • - [Jaboukie] Kosta, you use Claire space right?

  • - [Michael] I actually use Claire Space

  • to build my internet tribute to Brokedown Palace.

  • - [Desi] Claire Space.

  • If you make a website about Jennifer Love Hewitt,

  • you're gonna get malware.

  • - [Michael] And now it's time to get to the point.

  • (upbeat music)

  • As always, Get To The Point is sponsored by

  • Henry's Rusty Shave Club.

  • Henry's Rusty Shave Club was started by two college

  • roommates who hated shaving with high priced razors

  • so they decided to do something about it.

  • They bought a German factory that had been making torture

  • devices until it abruptly shut down in 1945

  • but was still filled with thousands of boxes of used,

  • oxidizing 74 year old razors

  • and Henry's Rusty Shave Club was born.

  • Now for only eight bucks a month you'll get vintage,

  • tetanus, lubricated blades delivered right to your door.

  • Henry's Rusty Shave Club, life is rough.

  • Shouldn't your shave be to?

  • - [Desi] That ad for Henry's Rusty Shave Club

  • is sponsored by Buck Banger.

  • The fastest easiest way to send money.

  • Kosta, you use Buck Banger this week?

  • - [Michael] I sure did.

  • So Monday I went to the movies with my buddy.

  • We saw Aladdin again.

  • - [Desi] Oh you love a rapping Genie.

  • - [Michael] I can't help it.

  • Anyway, we get the tickets.

  • We see the movie.

  • It's magical.

  • And on the way out of the parking lot,

  • I run over a rare bird.

  • - [Desi] Oh, a rare bird?

  • - [Michael] Yeah, an ivory billed woodpecker.

  • Crazy endangered, huge fines for turning it

  • into a road pancake.

  • So naturally, I opened my wallet to buy

  • the silence of all the witnesses.

  • But uh oh, I spent my last Jackson on Mr. Will Smith's

  • heartwarming and humorous Tour de Force.

  • So what do I do?

  • I open the Buck Banger app, send $50 bribes to everyone

  • who saw me do it.

  • And I'm home by dinnertime googling

  • when is Aladdin Two coming out?

  • By the way, the answer?

  • Not soon enough.

  • - [Desi] Uh, Kosta?

  • You just confessed to a crime.

  • - [Michael] What?

  • The crime of loving Aladdin?

  • If that's a crime, then lock me up in solitary confinement,

  • preferably with a blu-ray of Will Smith's Aladdin,

  • Buck Banger, the easiest way to send money.

  • (upbeat music)

  • - [Desi] All right, let's get to the point.

  • - [Michael] But before we do we need to address something

  • we said on Monday's show.

  • Let's take a listen.

  • (upbeat music)

  • - [Desi] It's Monday and before we get started,

  • we have some housekeeping.

  • - [Michael] Right, Tuesday's show will be pushed back

  • to 3 p.m. instead of 1 p.m.

  • - [Desi] I have to be home at 1 p.m.

  • to get my latest shipment from Shrimp Fix.

  • - [Michael] Hey, um, is it bad that,

  • if hypothetically a dog eats a Sharpie?

  • - [Desi] Just some housekeeping on that bit of housekeeping.

  • Tuesday's show was actually released at 3.30 p.m.

  • instead of 3 p.m.

  • - [Michael] Instead of 1 p.m.

  • - [Desi] Because we had more housekeeping

  • than we anticipated.

  • - [Michael] And just a bit more housekeeping.

  • We are aiming to have less housekeeping going forward.

  • - [Desi] That's right.

  • Fewer house housekeeping.

  • - [Michael] Fewer housekeepings.

  • - [Jaboukie] Guys by the way,

  • it's actually houses keeping like attorney's general

  • or ASAPs Rocky.

  • Just so you know.

  • - [Michael] And now let's get to the point.

  • (upbeat music)

  • - [Desi] Quick reminder, if you like Get To The Point

  • as well as other great podcast today segments like

  • Check This Out, Is This Real Life, It's Only Tuesday

  • and That Just Happened, rate and review us.

  • - [Michael] Rate and review us.

  • - [Desi] Rate and review us on Apple podcast, Stitcher,

  • Spotify, Breaker, Pod Squad, Hewlett Packard pods,

  • Prodigy, Compuserve cast

  • and Earthlink.website/podcast/revie.

  • And just to clarify because there's been some confusion

  • that's the backslash symbol followed by the word backslash,

  • if you end that URL with two backslash symbols,

  • it sends you to a pretty out their website.

  • - [Michael] Yeah, it's real jarring stuff actually.

  • Anyway, those reviews really help us out,

  • they boost our rankings, which allow us to be discovered

  • by more people and they also can serve as powerful character

  • statements for us during court proceedings, can't they?

  • - [Desi] By the way, shout out to listener,

  • David the Daveman 18.

  • Your review saying we were quote, awesome.

  • Help me get back custody of my kids.

  • - [Jaboukie] Can I go now or do you guys want me

  • to weigh in on something?

  • - [Michael] No, we're, we're ready for you.

  • - [Desi] Yeah, sure are.

  • Our guest today is Jaboukie Young-White.

  • Jaboukie, how are you doing?

  • - [Jaboukie] Oh, you know, I'm pretty good.

  • I'm doing pretty good and I just wanted to throw in there,

  • my appearance today is brought to you by Just the Packaging.

  • Do you love coming home to something that you ordered online

  • but you don't have the money to buy lots of shit?

  • Well Just Packaging will ship you a big box of tissue paper,

  • bubble wrap and all that other stuff

  • that's so fun open and that's it.

  • No meals to cook, no clothes to try on and send back.

  • It's Just the Packaging.

  • - [Desi] Thanks.

  • Before we move on, we've got some sad personnel news.

  • - [Michael] We do?

  • (upbeat music)

  • - [Desi] This is Michael Kosta's final episode

  • of Podcast Today.

  • - [Michael] Wait, was I fired?

  • - [Desi] We are super excited about our permanent new host,

  • Jaboukie Young-White!

  • - What's up? - What?

  • - [Jaboukie] I'm super excited to break down all the issues

  • of the day with y'all.

  • Kosta, can you please get your shit out of your office?

  • - [Desi] You can still listen to Michael Kosta

  • on our brand new international sister pod,

  • Podcast Today Kosovo.

  • Up to the date news and commentary live from the Balkans.

  • - [Michael] Kosovo?

  • Kosovo like the country?

  • - [Desi] Just read the paper.

  • (lighthearted music)

  • - [Michael] Hello, Podcast Today Kosovo fans.

  • Tickets are now on sale for our live shows in Sarajevo,

  • Dubrovnik, Chernobyl, Bucharest and northern Chechnya.

  • Use code HalloKosovo for 20 slatos off

  • and so, I don't even have a passport.

  • - [Jaboukie] By the way, a bit of housekeeping,

  • there is now an emergency bonus pod

  • for our titanium tier supporters on Patreon.

  • - [Desi] That's right, head to our fan page right now

  • to hear an exclusive five alarm bonus pod that features

  • our extended interview with Podcast Today Kosovo host,

  • Michael Kosta, who will have secretly infiltrated

  • a Chechen terrorist group.

  • - [Michael] People, point of order please.

  • Has the new Aladdin even been released in Kosovo?

  • - [Desi] Podcast Today is produced by Tom Baylor

  • and Sheila Mansfield and recorded a Daily Show Studios

  • in the heart of Manhattan's little Belgrade.

  • Trevor Noah is our managing editor.

  • Our research is provided by Miroslav Bercovic

  • and Bogdan Djokovic.

  • Our audio engineer is Petra Mastoravic.

  • - [Jaboukie] Legal services provided by the law firm

  • of (beep) Milosovic.

  • A man known only as the Scorpion is our lookout,

  • an unsuspecting Uber driver named Cynthia is our wheelman

  • and laundry and pet sitting is handled by Zivco Vuyadonovic.

  • - [Desi] Our fabulous interns are Greg Rasputin,

  • Lizzie Borden the third and Lyle Manendez.

  • Kosta, wanna leave us with any parting words?

  • - [Michael] Yeah, actually, I just googled

  • and Aladdin is not in Kosovo right now.

  • There's no, it doesn't seem to be showtimes

  • or movie theaters.

  • This is kind of what keeps me grounded,

  • and, oh, you have nothing to say now?

  • Both of you?

  • - [Jaboukie] I guess you could wait for it

  • to show up on Prime.

  • - [Michael] And now you're the fucking host all of a sudden.

  • I mean, you didn't even know, you didn't even know

  • that you were going to be the host.

  • (upbeat music)

  • - [Jaboukie] But I--

  • - [Michael] Just wait dude, just give it 10 years

  • of hard work and then you see how they treat you.

  • - [Jaboukie] Right, well, you know, I stepped up

  • to the plate and I think maybe that could be a part

  • of the reason why.

  • - [Michael] Couldn't even pronounce Zejanovic.

  • (upbeat music)

- [Trevor] Are you a busy person who's always on the go?

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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