Seriously, though, what is it?

但說真的，它到底是什麼？

What is love?

什麼是愛？

A verb?

一個動詞？

A noun?

一個名詞？

A universal truth?

一個普世的真理？

An ideal?

一個完美典範？

A common thread of all religions?

一種所有宗教的共通點？

A cult?

一種狂熱？

A neurological phenomenon?

一種神經學現象？

There's no shortage of answers.

這答案可不少

Some are all-encompassing.

還包羅萬象

It conquers all.

它征服了所有

It's all you need.

這是你所需要的一切

It's all there is.

這就是一切

These are all comparisons, though,

但這一切都是用比較的方式來定義愛

ways of defining it by contrast,

但這一切都是用比較的方式來定義愛

by saying it's more important

說愛比其他事情都來得重要

than all other things,

說愛比其他事情都來得重要

but is it?

但真的嗎?

Sure, love matters more

當然，愛情是比

than your standard turkey sandwich,

你的普通火雞三明治重要

but does it matter more than shelter?

但它是不是比避風港重要？

Or sanity?

比精神正常重要？

Or an exceptional turkey sandwich?

比特製火雞三明治重要？

No matter your answer,

不論你的答案是什麼

you're just ranking it,

你只是在排名而已

not defining it.

並不是定義它

Another challenge to defining love

另一個定義愛的挑戰是

is we often try to do so

我們太常試著這麼做

while falling into it

當墜入愛河或失戀時

or out of it.

當墜入愛河或失戀時

Would you trust someone who just won the lottery

你相信某個剛中了樂透的人

to accurately define the concept of currency?

會精準地定義貨幣的概念嗎？

Or, I don't know, ask a guy to define bears

還是問某個正在抵禦熊群的人

while he's fending them off?

請他來定義熊？

Or is romance not like winning the lottery?

還是戀愛和中樂透不一樣？

Are break ups not like bear attacks?

失戀和遭熊攻擊沒兩樣？

Bad comparisons?

很糟的比喻嗎？

That's my point.

那就是我的重點

I'm not thinking right

我無法正確思考

because I'm in love,

因為我正在戀愛中

so ha!

所以， 哈！

Taking a step back,

往後退一步

or taking a cold shower,

或洗個冷水澡

whatever,

諸如此類

love is potentially the most intensely thought about thing

在所有人類的歷史中

in all of human history.

愛很可能是對事物最強烈的想法

And despite centuries upon centuries of obsession,

而且儘管經過許多世紀的癡迷

it still overwhelms us.

它仍然征服了我們

Some say it's a feeling,

有些人說那是一種感覺

a magical emotion,

一種魔幻的情感

a feeling for someone like you've never felt before.

一種對某人前所未有的感覺

But feelings are fluid,

但感覺是易變的

not very concrete foundation for a definition.

它並沒有實質的基礎來定義

Sometimes you hate the person you love.

有時你討厭你所愛的人

Plus, come on, you've felt feelings like it before,

再加上... 拜託，你們一定也有過那種感覺

sort of in miniature.

只是比較小一點

Your relationships with your family

你和家人的關係

shape your relationships with partners.

型塑了你和你伴侶的關係

And your love for your partner

以及你和你伴侶間的愛

may be in its own dynamic relationship,

也許是在這動態關係中

healthy or totally weird,

健康的或是非常怪異的

with the love of your parents and siblings.

有著和你父母手足的愛

Love is also a set of behaviors

愛也是一套行為

we associate with the feeling:

和我們的感覺有關聯的

Holding hands,

握手

kissing,

親吻

hugging,

擁抱

public displays of affection,

公開示愛

dating,

約會

marriage,

結婚

having kids,

生小孩

or just sex.

或只是性愛

But these loving actions can be subjective

但這些愛的動作可以是主觀的

or culturally relative.

或跟文化有關的

You may love or be someone who can't have kids

你可能會愛上某人，或你本身是無法生小孩

or doesn't want to,

或不想生小孩的人、

who believes in marriage but also in divorce,

某個相信婚姻也相信離婚的人、

who's from a culture where people don't really date

他的地方文化並不太真正約會的人

the way we think of dating,

如我們所想的那種約會、

or who just doesn't want to make out on the bus.

或就是不願在公車上親熱的人

But if love is a thing that we can define,

但如果愛是一件可讓我們定義的事

then how can it mean opposite things

那麼對於許多人來說

for so many people?

怎麼可能是指相反的事？

So, maybe love's just all in your head,

所以，也許愛只是在我們腦中

a personal mystery winding through your neural pathways

一種縈繞在神經通路的個人之謎

and lighting up pleasing, natural rewards

並燃起愉悅感、自然酬賞

in your nervous system.

在你的神經系統內

Perhaps these rewards are addictive.

或許這些酬賞是會成癮的

Perhaps love is a temporary

或許愛只是

or permanent addiction to a person,

對某人一時或永久的沉迷

just like a person can be addicted to a drug.

就像一個毒品成癮的人

I don't know mean to be edgy

我並不是像一些流行歌曲一樣尖銳

like some pop song.

我並不是要像一些流行歌曲一樣尖銳

Evidence shows that chemicals in your brain

證據顯示在你腦內的化學物質

stimulated by another person

受到某人的刺激

can make you develop a habit for that person.

會讓你發展出對那人的喜好

The person comes to satisfy

那個人便成為

a physiological craving,

滿足生理上的渴望

and you want more.

而且你會想要更多

But then sometimes,

但有時候

slowly or suddenly,

緩慢的或太突然的

you don't.

你並不會這樣

You've fallen out of love,

你曾經失戀過

become unaddicted,

一陣子變得不癡迷

for a spell.

一陣子變得不癡迷

What happened?

發生了什麼事？

Does one develop a tolerance or hit a limit?

是培養了容忍力還是達到了極限？

Why do some lovers stay addicted

為何有些愛人們終其一生

to each other their entire lives?

對彼此癡迷？

Perhaps to create new lives,

或許為了創造新的生命來延續物種？

to proliferate their species?

或許為了創造新的生命來延續物種？

Maybe love is just human DNA's optimal method

也許愛只是人類 DNA

for bringing about its own replication.

為了實現複製自己的最佳方法

There are evolutionary arguments

關於人類的配對行為

regarding every human mating behavior,

有許多演化的論點

from how we display ourselves to potential mates,

從我們如何向潛在伴侶展現我們自己、

to how we treat each other in relationships,

在關係中如何對待彼此、

to how we raise kids.

到如何養育小孩

Thus, some argue that the feeling

因此，有些人說

you think you feel in your soul

那種你認為在你靈魂深處的感覺

is just biology's way to make you continue our species.

只是個生物學的途徑，為的是讓你延續種族

Nature has selected you

自然已經挑選了你

to have crushes on hotties,

來愛上那個辣妹

just like it makes monkeys

就像讓猴子

have crushes on hot monkeys,

愛上迷人的猴子

and biology marches on.

而生物得以延續下去

But is that all love is?

但這是愛的全部了嗎？

Or, perhaps worse, is it just a construct,

或者，更糟的是那會不會只是一種構想

some fake concept we all convince each other

一種我們為了一個目的的虛假意義

to try to live up to

一種我們為了一個目的的虛假意義

for a fake sense of purpose?

而說服彼此去實踐的一個假的概念

Maybe it is a construct,

它可能是一個構想

but let's be more precise

但是讓我們對何為構想更精準些

about what a construct is

但是讓我們對何為構想更精準些

because love is constructed from reality:

因為愛從現實裡建構

Our experiences,

我們的經驗、

feelings,

感覺、

brain chemistry,

腦內的化學物質、

cultural expectations,

文化的期待、

our lives.

我們的生活

And this edifice can be viewed

而這偉大的建築物

through countless dimensions:

可以透過數不清的面向來看

scientific,

科學的、

emotional,

情感的、

historical,

歷史的、

spiritual,

精神的、

legal,

合法的

or just personal.

或純粹是個人的

If no two people are the same,

如果沒有兩個人是一樣的

no two people's love is the same either.

那麼兩個人的愛也不會是一樣的

So, in every loving relationship,

因此在每一段愛情中

there's a lot to talk about

有很多需要談的

and partners should be open to that,

而伴侶也該對彼此坦承

or the relationship probably won't last.

否則這段關係可能不會長久

Love is always up for discussion

愛總是被拿出來討論

and, sure, under construction.

且當然是需要建設的

So, if we can't define it,

所以，如果我們無法對愛下定義

that's a good sign.

那是一個很好的跡象

It means we're all still making it.

代表我們仍然在做它

Wait, I didn't mean,

等等， 我並不是那個意思

you know what I meant.

你知道我的意思