Hi Joe. -Hi.

嗨Joe，嗨

Thanks for joining us Joe. I know it’s tough these days showing your face in public without any hair on it.

感謝加入我們，Joe，我知道要在人們面前露出光禿禿的臉的日子很難熬

You’re very brave. Who wants to go first?

你們都很勇敢。誰要先來?

All my friends can grow beards and they make fun of me relentlessly.

我的朋友們都有鬍子，他們總會開我一些很沒品的玩笑

And they’ll ask me, they'll say, “Hey did you just shave?”

他們會問我:你剛刮鬍子?

No! No I didn’t! I haven’t shaved in a week. This is what I got.

不，不，我沒有!我整整一個禮拜沒刮鬍子，我鬍子就長這樣

You think that’s bad? I’ve been growing this thing out for over a year. I look thirteen.

你覺得那很糟?我留這東西留了一年多，看起來超中二的

Yesterday I caught my girlfriend reading an article called the 31 hottest bearded men of all time.

我昨天逮到女友在看一篇關於31個史上最性感鬍子男的文章

How about those articles that are like check out this ugly guy who sudden got really hot when he grew a beard.

那些關於"快看，這些醜男長了鬍子突然很讚"的文章呢?

Do you guys see the Fifty Shades of Grey trailer? Everybody’s complaining because the main guy

你們看過"格雷的五十道陰影"預告片嗎?大家都在抱怨男主角

had to shave for the role and all of a sudden he’s not attractive. What the FxxK!?

為了演戲把鬍子刮掉(註1)，然後就不吸引人了。什麼鬼?

Yeah but he’s so hot. He’s so hot. He’s a male model actor.

可是他很讚啊。他很棒。他可是男模演員

I mean like one fell swoop of razors isn’t gonna change that he’s hot. It is hell’s discrimination. It’s what it is.

我說，就算人一次(註2)把他的鬍子都給刮了，他還是很讚啊，這根本是歧視，就是歧視!

Yeah, so last November.

對啊，跟去年十一月一樣(註3)

Oh no, it’s November, November. This is a safe place. We don’t accommodate to impossible male beauties standard.

喔不，十一月，十一月。這裡很安全，因為我們容不下不可能的型男標準

I love that. Yes. Last Movember people were asking me “oh, when you’re gonna grow it out. You are gonna grow it out and…”

對極了!上一次Movember(註3)人們問我"鬍子何時長出來?你要讓鬍子長出來..."

You know how mad that made me feel? Like less of a man, right? Yes.

你知道那讓我多生氣嗎? 好像不是個男人? 對

I know it’s hard, but you just have to donate to charity without taking photos with your sweet mustache.

我知道這很難熬，你得在不拍那些鬍子照的情況下捐錢做善事(註3)

We don’t need to hide behind follicle lice!

起碼我們不用躲在鬍蝨背後!

At least we’re honest about our jawlines!

至少我們我自己的下巴的長相(註5)很誠實!

I mean like, look, trends are cyclical right? that's our goal, see what I mean? If we could shave, and because we are minority….

我說，潮流總是會輪流的對吧? 那就是我們的目標，懂我意思嗎? 如果我們能刮鬍子，因為我們是少數...

Then people will psychologically be attracting you, me, and all of us again.

...人們心理上就會被你、我，被我們再次吸引過來

And that will be smooth and proud! (Smooth and proud!) Yeah!

然後我們就會又光滑又驕傲(註6)!(光滑又驕傲!)耶!

Repeat after me. I’m a man. I cannot grow a beard. But it does not make me less of a man.

跟著我念，我是男人，我沒長鬍子，但這並不會讓我不像男人

Makes me a man without a beard. Beauty is not in the beard. It’s the face behind it.

讓我成為沒有鬍子的真男人，男人的美不在鬍子，而是在它背後的臉