but there's been a spate of books

最近陸續上架了

that have come out lately

一些新書，

contemplating or speculating

作者嘗試對狗的認知和情感生活

on the cognition and emotional life of dogs.

進行解讀。狗是否思考“狗”生？

Do they think, do they feel and, if so, how?

是否也有七情六欲？

So this afternoon, in my limited time,

今天下午，我想借此機會，

I wanted to take the guesswork out of a lot of that

不揣淺陋，對它們的內心世界大膽猜測。

by introducing you to two dogs,

我會談到兩條狗，

both of whom have taken the command "speak"

牠們借我之口，娓娓而談，

quite literally.

款吐心曲。

The first dog is the first to go,

先來聽聽第一條狗，

and he is contemplating an aspect

它試圖對自己與主人的關係，

of his relationship to his owner,

做一個剖析。我給這段獨白

and the title is "A Dog on His Master."

加了一個標題——《人狗奇戀》。

"As young as I look,

“這一刻，我雖然年輕、矯健，

I am growing older faster than he.

但是，時光的鼓點如此密集、急促，

Seven to one is the ratio, they tend to say.

七比一，

Whatever the number, I will pass him one day

正是我與他走向各自終點的速度。

and take the lead,

終有一天，我會走在前頭。

the way I do on our walks in the woods,

回想林中漫步的歡洽，

and if this ever manages to cross his mind,

如果有一天他會想起，

it would be the sweetest shadow

願那雪地和草坪上的嬉戲，

I have ever cast on snow or grass."

成為彼此珍藏一生的心跡。”

(Applause)

（掌聲）

Thank you.

謝謝。

And our next dog

第二條狗，仙逝多年，

speaks in something called the revenant,

像一個歸來的亡魂，對它昔日的主人

which means a spirit that comes back

訴說陰陽兩隔、歲月更替

to visit you.

都無法化解的恩怨。

"I am the dog you put to sleep,

“我就是那條被你注射致死的狗，

as you like to call the needle of oblivion,

你說那一針會讓我忘卻此生的恩仇。

come back to tell you this simple thing:

我回來告訴你一件事：

I never liked you."

我從來沒有喜歡過你。”

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

"When I licked your face,

“每次舔你臉龐時，

I thought of biting off your nose.

真想一口咬下你的鼻子。

When I watched you toweling yourself dry,

每次看你用毛巾擦身，

I wanted to leap and unman you with a snap.

真想猛撲上去，了斷你的命根。

I resented the way you moved,

我厭惡你的粗鄙與笨拙，

your lack of animal grace,

全無我們動物的敏捷與優雅。

the way you would sit in a chair to eat,

你習慣坐在椅子上吃東西，

a napkin on your lap, a knife in your hand.

腿上鋪著餐巾，雙手舉著刀叉。

I would have run away

我早想棄你而去，

but I was too weak,

無奈年老體衰，只能寄人籬下。

a trick you taught me

還記得當年，

while I was learning to sit and heel

你訓練我端坐、跟隨，

and, greatest of insults,

我被迫遭受奇恥大辱——

shake hands without a hand.

你教我與人握手，你明知道我只有爪！

I admit the sight of the leash would excite me,

我承認，那條皮帶讓我興奮不已，

but only because it meant I was about to smell things

因為你會牽著我，去聞一些奇怪的東西，

you had never touched.

而你自己小心翼翼，唯恐避之不及。

You do not want to believe this,

說來你不會相信，

but I have no reason to lie:

但我無意隱瞞：

I hated the car, hated the rubber toys,

我恨你的車，討厭車裏的橡膠玩具，

disliked your friends, and worse, your relatives.

憎惡你的狐朋‘豬’友，詛咒你的遠親近鄰。

The jingling of my tags drove me mad.

那叮噹響的項圈讓我抓狂，

You always scratched me in the wrong place."

還有，你連撓癢都撓不到地方。”

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

"All I ever wanted from you was food and water

添衣加被，讓我吃飽喝足，

in my bowls.

這就是你為我做的的全部。

While you slept, I watched you breathe

還記得那時，常聽著你的鼾聲，

as the moon rose in the sky.

凝望屋外一輪圓月徐徐升起。

It took all of my strength

我一聲不吭，

not to raise my head and howl.

壓抑自己：不要張望，不要悲泣。

Now, I am free of the collar,

現在，我永獲自由，

free of the yellow raincoat,

沒有禁錮我的項圈，沒有惡俗的黃雨披，

monogrammed sweater,

沒有繡著我名字的汗背心，

the absurdity of your lawn,

也沒有草地上的荒誕不經。

and that is all you need to know about this place,

這些，就是我要和你講的一切，

except what you already supposed

關於家，關於詩歌中的狗，

and are glad it did not happen sooner,

關於散文裏的貓和其他動物。

that everyone here can read and write,

也許，你認為這些稀鬆平常，

the dogs in poetry,

這裏每一個人都能和你分享。

the cats and all the others

但這就是我特意回來

in prose."

的用意所在。

Thank you.

謝謝。

(Applause)

（掌聲）