Eminem is fucking 41.

阿姆(歌手)已經天殺的41歲了

- What?! - Yep!

女:真的? 男:是阿!

- No, he's not. - Yeah!

女:不可能 男:我沒騙妳!

- No, he's not. - Dude, no, it's true.

女:不可能啦 男:嘿，老妹，是真的

And his daughter, Hailey, 18.

她女兒艾莉已經18歲了

I feel so old!

我忽然間變老了!

Lately it's like I turn on the TV

這感覺就是你打開電視

and all the athletes and pop stars

上電視的運動員和明星們

are younger than me.

都比你年輕

Yeah, Blake Griffin is 25.

沒錯，像是葛里芬(籃球員) 才25歲

- I'm 26! - I'm 26.

男:我都26歲了! 女:我也是

- We're so old. - So old!

男:我們都老了 女:真的!

I would say going to the bathroom is my greatest struggle.

我敢說要去一趟廁所對我是一項天大的挑戰

We are closer in age to Homer Simpson than we are Bart Simpson.

跟巴特·辛普森比起來，我們年紀跟霍默·辛普森不相上下(巴特與霍默為卡通辛普森家庭的父子檔)

I read on Buzzfeed that if Bart Simpson were a human

趣聞網一篇文章說，如果去推算巴特的人類年齡的話

he'd be 37 years old.

他是37歲耶

We are so old. - We're so old.

女:我們好老喔! 男:真的好老

I thought about my dead husband today

今天突然想到我那逝世的老伴

and realized I could no longer clearly picture his face.

才驚覺到我已經忘記他的臉龐了

Do you guys realize we've been out of college almost as long as we were in college?

你們有沒有覺得好像昨天才剛從大學畢業而已?

I want to get a dog to be less lonely,

我想養隻狗來陪陪我

but I think I'd die first and then he'd be lonely.

不過又想說我會比他早走，零下它孤拎拎一個

Aubrey is gonna be a mom!

奧布雷要當媽了

She's our age and she's gonna be a mom.

她和我們年紀相當，卻要當媽了

- Papa, you ready for church? - I'm not your father.

女:爸爸，準備好要上教堂了嗎? 男:我才不是恁爸咧

Sorry, I have dementia.

拍謝，偶老人痴呆了

Ever since I started working full time two weeks ago, I automatically wake up earlier on the weekends.

自兩周前開始做全職後，周末我很早就自己醒來了

It's like my body knows. It knows!

我身體知道時間耶! 它知道!

I can't sleep at night because all my bones hurt..and my regrets.

晚上我睡不著，因為我全身骨頭痠痛，心裡還有些遺憾

Yesterday, while I was fucking my girlfriend,she found a gray chest hair!

昨晚和我女友愛愛時，她發現我的胸毛有根白髮

Well, there goes the last of them molars.

喔，這是最後一只臼齒了

When I smile now, I have, like, lines.

我笑的時候，我有這東西，細紋

Like...

妳看

Oh!

喔!

This is normal now.

像這樣很正常

Nintendo 64 came out 18 years ago!

任天堂64在18年前問世

You're fucking lying!

妳在騙我!

I used to have 33 cousins.

我曾經有過33個表堂兄弟姊妹

Now I have no cousins.

現在他們都走了

The Chuck-E-Cheese mouse is different now!

查克芝士鼠鼠 現在變得不一樣了!

- Different how?! - It's skinny!

女1:怎麼個不一樣? 女2:變小隻了!

Kids born in 2000 are teenagers now!

千禧年出生的現在已經是青少年了!

- No...no. I won't...I don't - Teenagers!

男: 不不，不行，這無法 女:青少年!

I'm going to be sick.

我要吐了

Well, at least we're not fucking idiots.

嗯，至少我們不是那群天殺的白癡

We're so old!

我們老爆了!

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