from the world of black girl magic.

History being made

after the new Miss World crowned over the weekend.

Watch this.

Miss World

2019 is...

-(drumroll) -(cheering)

-...Jamaica! -(screaming) -(applause, cheering)

MAN: Toni-Ann Singh of Jamaica won the top honor

at the Miss World contest on Saturday.

Her win means five black women now hold the world's

-top pageant titles. -WOMAN: Wow.

-MAN 2: Wow. -MAN 3: Amazing.

MAN 1: That is an historic first.

-Wow! -(cheers and applause)

That is so amazing.

Five black women all wearing crowns.

Six women if you count Meghan Markle.

-#Winning. -(laughter)

And I'm particularly excited

because Miss Universe is from South Africa.

-(applause and cheering) -Yeah, which is great.

Which is great, because I'm South African,

so that technically means I'm in line for the throne.

That's what that means.

Yeah, if she quits, I get to be in charge of the universe.

That's how this whole thing works.

I also love how, in pageants,

they make the contestants stand next to each other,

so you have to be happy for the person who just beat you, right?

Because everybody's watching.

I actually think that's how they should announce the winner

of presidential elections from now on.

Yeah, you should have both of them on stage at the same time.

And then, Steve Harvey gives the results,

and then, they have to be excited for each other.

(as Trump): Oh, my God, Bernie, congrats.

You deserve it. You're so beautiful.

It's like...

(as Sanders): Uh, you also could have won, Donald.

I... and as a socialist, I'm sharing my crown

with all the other contestants!

All right, moving on.

Every year, the Hallmark Channel releases

its famous Christmas movie lineup

as a reminder that the Hallmark Channel exists.

But this year, they've also decided

to release some controversy.

MAN: This morning, the Hallmark Channel reversing course

and apologizing after its decision

to pull a wedding ad that featured a gay couple kissing.

Do you think Zola

could have made planning your perfect wedding easier?

-BOTH: We do. -MAN: The controversy began

after the conservative group One Million Moms

petitioned the network to reconsider airing commercials

with same-sex couples.

The Hallmark Channel initially agreed to remove the ads.

-Uh-huh. -Oh, it's on.

MAN: But the move sparked a social media fury,

including calls for a boycott.

But overnight, Hallmark backing away from the decision,

apologizing in a statement, writing, in part,

"This is this was the wrong decision."

Come on. In 2019? Really?

A conservative group complained

because of an ad that showed two women kissing?

What are you getting mad for?

They're kissing at their wedding.

It's the last time they'll ever kiss. Relax.

(laughter)

Also, clearly, Hallmark doesn't believe in anything,

because first, they apologized to the conservative group,

and then, they apologized for pulling the ad.

Now they're in trouble with everybody.

Although it's the perfect situation

for their new line of cards, "I'm Sorry for Saying Sorry

to the Person I wasn't Supposed to Say Sorry To."

-(laughter) -Really smart.

And also, why does Hallmark even have a channel? Right?

It's an aisle in CVS.

You don't see a toilet paper channel, huh,

where it's just, like, heartfelt movies

that take place entirely in bathrooms?

"Baby I love you, but right now, I...

I just got to take a dump."

(laughter)

All right, let's move on.

If you go to the beach,

what's the one thing you're terrified of?

It's probably seeing an old man naked, right?

Well, take away the old man, but now leave the penis.

WOMAN: Rather, phallic fish have been found

by the thousands in California.

Their name is about as weird as their image.

They're called "fat innkeeper worms."

Some think that maybe a storm pushed them to the shore.

At first sight, it kind of looks

like a cargo ship of sausages tipped over or something.

Well, well, well!

Looks like the Little Mermaid

had quite the bachelorette party!

(laughter)

For real, though. It's like the ocean is sending us dick pics.

-What was that? -(laughter)

And, like, I don't even know... I...

Like, I didn't know that there were penis fish.

I don't know about you.

Although now, I finally understand

why Rose pushed Jack off the door in the Titanic.

She was like, "You know what?

"I'll be fine on my own.

Just go. Just go. Just go."

Now, it actually turns out,

the real name of this creature is "the innkeeper worm."

That's what it is.

And I just got to say, kudos to the scientists

who came up with that name,

'cause it takes a lot of maturity to look at that

and be, like, "Uh, what should we call it?"

"Um... innkeeper worm?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's go with 'innkeeper.'

"That's the first thing I thought of.

Yeah, yeah, innkeeper."

All right, and finally, speaking of dicks,

a football game this weekend that took a very wrong turn.

U.S. military officials are investigating

a troubling incident from yesterday's

Army-Navy football game

after military students in the stands

flashed what appeared to be symbols of hate.

MAN: Blink and you might have missed it.

Military students at yesterday's

Army-Navy football game caught on ESPN flashing hand signals

that have lately become hate symbols,

not once, not twice, but three times,

sparking outrage on social media.

This symbol, commonly understood to mean "okay,"

was appropriated by far right groups.

The hand shape supposedly resembles the letters "W," "P,"

for white power.

The ADL says far right groups use it

partly because it's so ambiguous,

making it hard to understand

whether the students knew what they were doing.

Oh, yeah, this is a really difficult one.

Either the kids were pulling a racist sign,

or they were all trying to tell the cameraman

that they are doing fine. Who knows?

Now, for those of you who don't know,

a few years ago, some alt-right trolls

decided to turn the "okay" sign

into their sign for "white power,"

because it looks like a "W" and a "P." Yeah.

And they like it, because when people call them out for it,

they can say, "What? No, I'm just doing the 'okay' sign."

But it's, like, guys, we know what you're doing.

Right? 'Cause they'd, like, do it like this or like this.

Like, come on, you're not okay. What is this? What is this?

I mean, can you imagine if Hitler tried that

when the allied forces were rolling into Berlin? Just like,

(German accent): "LOL, guys. Ha. I took the Hindu swastika

"and told you it was a Nazi thing,

"and you fell for it. Ha-ha-ha.

What a funny joke. Ja? Can I go home now? Ja?"

And these trolls chose the "okay" symbol

to mean "white power," because it's everywhere.

That's why they did it.

But they could have appropriated anything.

Like, they could have used dabbing, you know?

They could have been like, "Go back to Africa.

-It's that way." -(laughter)

But here's the thing.

Here's the thing these white supremacists don't realize.

The same way they took the "okay" sign

and changed its meaning,

other people can take that sign and turn it into something else.

Which is exactly what we did.

♪ ♪

NARRATOR: For too long, we have hidden in our shame,

afraid of who we are.

But no longer.

Now we are men who are proud to say, "Yes,

we have a weak penis."

And with this hand sign that means "weak penis,"

we are launching a Weak Penis Movement

to raise awareness that all of us have a weak penis.

♪ ♪

So if you are suffering from weak penis,

join us by using the "weak penis" sign,

and let the world know we stand firmly together.

Well, not firmly.

But you get the idea.