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  • News isn't the only thing in the news.

  • There's also sports. So let's check in

  • on the world of sports with another edition

  • of I Apologize for Talking While You Were Talking.

  • -♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause)

  • -Hey! -Hey! What's up, sports fans?

  • I'm Michael Kosta. He's Roy Wood Jr.

  • That's right. We're here to talk about sports and show America

  • that black people and dumb people can get along.

  • That's right. Wait, are you saying that I'm black?

  • 'Cause that's awesome, man.

  • Touch my knuckles. Come on.

  • Kosta, what a crazy week for sports.

  • -LSU, college football champs. -Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

  • WOOD: Sunday, we know who will be meeting in the Super Bowl.

  • -Yeah. -And most importantly,

  • my pickup basketball team won the big game last night.

  • -Congratulations. -Roy, Roy, Roy.

  • -You were playing fifth graders, Roy. -A win is a win.

  • All right, well, let-let's...

  • let's start with the biggest news of the day.

  • Odell Beckham Jr.,

  • known for making spectacular grabs,

  • -made another spectacular grab. -Mm-hmm.

  • NEWSWOMAN: We are getting some breaking news now.

  • More fallout from Odell Beckham Jr.'s

  • championship celebration with his alma mater, LSU.

  • So, now we're learning an arrest warrant

  • has been issued for OBJ.

  • NEWSMAN: New reports indicate a judge signed the warrant

  • this morning after seeing this video

  • from inside the Louisiana State locker room on Monday night.

  • The video shows a security guard

  • questioning a player on the team,

  • and behind the officer,

  • Beckham appears to slap the guard's backside.

  • You see it right there.

  • The arrest warrant is for a charge of simple battery.

  • Odell Beckham Jr. slapped a cop on the butt.

  • Who goes back to college to get in trouble, okay?

  • You're supposed to do that before you leave.

  • That's like going back to your parents' house,

  • and then you get grounded.

  • You're too old for that shit, man.

  • Now, okay, okay. That's one way of looking at it.

  • -But let's be fair, Kosta. Odell parties a lot. -All right.

  • Probably thought that was one of them stripper cops.

  • And to me, a slap on the ass is harmless.

  • It's a harmless slap on the ass.

  • That's how you communicate in sports.

  • It's like saying, "Good job. Did a good job."

  • All right, well, you never slap my ass after one of these.

  • -I would if you did a good job. -Well, look, look, look, look...

  • -I would. -Speaking of asses, all right,

  • the Houston Astros won the 2017 World Series,

  • but now we're finding out

  • they're in some trouble of their own.

  • A major league bombshell, the Houston Astros

  • severely punished tonight for cheating.

  • NEWSMAN: The Houston Astros stole pitching signs

  • during their historic season.

  • MLB says the Astros used a camera in center field

  • to decode pitching signs from opposing teams.

  • The information was then relayed to the dugout,

  • sometimes via text message on a smartwatch,

  • and then passed along to hitters

  • by banging on a trash can,

  • as heard here with the audio raised.

  • (banging)

  • NEWSMAN 2: The Astros face a record $5 million fine

  • and lose several top draft picks

  • over the next two years.

  • Hold-hold up. The Astros cheated their way to a championship,

  • and they were only fined $5 million?

  • That's nothing for a baseball team.

  • $5 million. That's, like, four stadium hot dogs.

  • -I-I mean... -No. No, Michael, you know what?

  • -I blame the Astros' opponents. -Hmm.

  • -Make your signs harder to steal. -Okay.

  • Catchers have been using the same little signs

  • -between their crotch for years. -Yeah.

  • If you want to confuse your opponent,

  • you got to mumble rap to your pitcher.

  • -Okay. -(mumbling rhythmically)

  • Slider. (mumbling rhythmically)

  • A call. (mumbling rhythmically)

  • -Fast ball. (whoops) -Well, I-I...

  • -(cheers, applause) -I didn't... I... -That's how you do it.

  • I didn't understand a word of that,

  • and I'm black, all right?

  • Well, let's move on to some international sports news.

  • The Olympics are six months away,

  • but they're already making headlines, Roy.

  • This Summer's Olympic Games

  • in Tokyo will be the first to prohibit

  • political protests by athletes.

  • The International Olympic Committee issued guidelines

  • forbidding athletes from any gesture

  • of a political nature, including kneeling.

  • Political signs and armbands are also banned.

  • The IOC says it's trying to foster respect.

  • This... this... this is the dumbest thing ever. Come on!

  • You can't ban protests.

  • -Right. -Protests are already banned.

  • -That's why they're protests. They're protests. -Yeah. Yeah.

  • -If you let people do it, it's not the same thing. -Right.

  • Like, if you let someone kidnap you, they're not a kidnapper.

  • -They're just your Uber driver, you know? -That's right.

  • Or-or in my case, Uber Black.

  • (laughter, groaning)

  • Goddamn it, you are not black! You're the dumb one!

  • -You are the dumb one. -Dumb?

  • -Yes, you're dumb. -Oh...

  • Plus, banning something only makes people want to do it more.

  • -Right. -If you ban something,

  • -it makes people want to do it more. -That's...

  • It's kind of like when my mama told me I couldn't get a tattoo.

  • -Okay. -So I got a tramp stamp that said "Kris Kross Forever."

  • (laughter)

  • -My mama was right. -Yeah, yeah.

  • Yeah, she was right. Let me see that thing.

  • -Oh, yes, it's a tramp stamp. -(yells gibberish)

  • -Aah! Aah! -(laughs) -(applause)

  • (Kosta whoops)

  • -I'm pressing charges! -(stammering)

  • I... That's how you say, "You do a good job."

  • That's how sports people communicate.

  • -No. I'm calling the cops. -Back to you, Trevor.

  • -Back to you. That's how you know... -I'm calling the cops!

  • Michael Kosta, Roy Wood Jr., everybody.

News isn't the only thing in the news.

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我為你說話的時候道歉--OBJ的巴掌和作弊的太空人|每日秀 (I Apologize for Talking While You Were Talking - OBJ’s Butt-Slap & Cheating Astros | The Daily Show)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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