B1 中級 美國腔 19667 分類 收藏
I grew up to study the brain
because I have a brother who has been diagnosed with a brain disorder:
schizophrenia. And as a sister
and later, as a scientist, I wanted to understand, why
is it that I can take my dreams, I can connect
them to my reality, and I can make my dreams come true?
What is it about my brother's brain and
his schizophrenia that he cannot connect his
dreams to a common and shared reality, so they
instead become delusion?
So I dedicated my career to research into the
severe mental illnesses. And I moved from my home state
of Indiana to Boston, where I was working in
the lab of Dr. Francine Benes, in the Harvard
Department of Psychiatry. And in the lab, we were asking the question,
"What are the biological differences between the brains of individuals
who would be diagnosed as normal control,
as compared with the brains of individuals diagnosed with
schizophrenia, schizoaffective or bipolar disorder?"
So we were essentially mapping the microcircuitry
of the brain: which cells are communicating with
which cells, with which chemicals, and then in
what quantities of those chemicals?
So there was a lot of meaning in my life because I was performing
this type of research during the day.
But then in the evenings and on the weekends,
I traveled as an advocate for NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
But on the morning of December 10, 1996, I woke up
to discover that I had a brain disorder of my own.
A blood vessel exploded in the left half of my brain.
And in the course of four hours,
I watched my brain completely deteriorate in its ability to
process all information. On the morning of the hemorrhage,
I could not walk, talk, read, write or recall any of my life.
I essentially became an infant in a woman's body.
If you've ever seen a human brain,
it's obvious that the two hemispheres are completely separate from one another.
And I have brought for you a real human brain.
So this is a real human brain.
This is the front of the brain,
the back of brain with the spinal cord hanging down,
and this is how it would be positioned inside of my head.
And when you look at the brain, it's obvious that
the two cerebral cortices are completely separate from one another.
For those of you who understand computers,
our right hemisphere functions like a parallel processor,
while our left hemisphere functions like a serial processor.
The two hemispheres do communicate with one another
through the corpus collosum,
which is made up of some 300 million axonal fibers.
But other than that,
the two hemispheres are completely separate.
Because they process information differently,
each of our hemispheres think about different things,
they care about different things, and, dare I say,
they have very different personalities.
Excuse me. Thank you. It's been a joy. Assistant: It has been.
Our right human hemisphere is all about this present moment.
It's all about "right here, right now."
Our right hemisphere, it thinks in pictures
and it learns kinesthetically through the movement of our bodies.
Information, in the form of energy, streams in simultaneously
through all of our sensory systems
and then it explodes into this enormous collage
of what this present moment looks like,
what this present moment smells like and tastes like,
what it feels like and what it sounds like.
I am an energy-being connected to the energy all around me
through the consciousness of my right hemisphere.
We are energy-beings connected to one another
through the consciousness of our right hemispheres as one human family.
And right here,
right now, we are brothers and sisters on this planet,
here to make the world a better place.
And in this moment we are perfect, we are whole and we are beautiful.
My left hemisphere -- our left hemisphere -- is a very different place.
Our left hemisphere thinks linearly and methodically.
Our left hemisphere
is all about the past and it's all about the future.
Our left hemisphere is designed to take that
enormous collage of the present moment and start
picking out details, details and more details about those details.
It then categorizes and
organizes all that information, associates it
with everything in the past we've ever learned, and
projects into the future all of our possibilities.
And our left hemisphere thinks in language.
It's that ongoing brain chatter that connects me and my
internal world to my external world.
It's that little voice that says to me, "Hey, you gotta remember
to pick up bananas on your way home.
I need them in the morning."
It's that calculating intelligence that reminds me
when I have to do my laundry. But perhaps most important,
it's that little voice that says to me,
"I am. I am." And as soon as my left hemisphere says to me "I am,"
I become separate.
I become a single solid individual, separate from the energy flow
around me and separate from you.
And this was the portion of my brain that I lost
on the morning of my stroke.
On the morning of the stroke, I woke up to a
pounding pain behind my left eye. And it was the kind of pain --
caustic pain -- that you get when you
bite into ice cream. And it just gripped me --
and then it released me. And then it just gripped me --
and then it released me. And it was very unusual
for me to ever experience any kind of pain,
so I thought, "OK, I'll just start my normal routine."
So I got up and I jumped onto my cardio glider,
which is a full-body, full-exercise machine.
And I'm jamming away on this thing, and I'm realizing
that my hands look like primitive claws grasping
onto the bar. And I thought, "That's very peculiar."
And I looked down at my body and I thought, "Whoa,
I'm a weird-looking thing." And it was as though
my consciousness had shifted away from my normal
perception of reality, where I'm the person on the
machine having the experience, to some esoteric space
where I'm witnessing myself having this experience.
And it was all very peculiar, and my headache was
just getting worse. So I get off the machine,
and I'm walking across my living room floor, and I
realize that everything inside of my body has
slowed way down. And every step is very rigid and
very deliberate. There's no fluidity to my pace,
and there's this constriction in my area of perceptions,
so I'm just focused on internal systems.
And I'm standing in my bathroom getting ready to
step into the shower, and I could actually hear the
dialogue inside of my body. I heard a little voice
saying, "OK. You muscles, you gotta contract.
You muscles, you relax."
And then I lost my balance, and I'm propped up against the wall.
And I look down at my arm and I realize
that I can no longer define the boundaries of my body.
I can't define where I begin and where I end,
because the atoms and the molecules of my arm
blended with the atoms and molecules of the wall.
And all I could detect was this energy -- energy.
And I'm asking myself, "What is wrong with me?
What is going on?" And in that moment, my brain chatter --
my left hemisphere brain chatter -- went totally silent.
Just like someone took a remote control
and pushed the mute button. Total silence.
And at first I was shocked to find myself
inside of a silent mind. But then I was immediately
captivated by the magnificence of the energy around me.
And because I could no longer identify
the boundaries of my body, I felt enormous and expansive.
I felt at one with all the energy that was,
and it was beautiful there.
Then all of a sudden my left hemisphere comes back
online, and it says to me, "Hey! We got a problem!
We got a problem! We gotta get some help."
And I'm going, "Ahh! I got a problem.
I got a problem." So it's like, "OK. OK. I got a problem."
But then I immediately drifted right back
out into the consciousness -- and I affectionately
refer to this space as La La Land.
But it was beautiful there. Imagine what it would
be like to be totally disconnected from your brain
chatter that connects you to the external world.
So here I am in this space, and my job -- and any
stress related to my job -- it was gone.
And I felt lighter in my body. And imagine
all of the relationships in the external world and any
stressors related to any of those -- they were gone.
And I felt this sense of peacefulness.
And imagine what it would feel like to lose 37 years of emotional baggage!
(Laughter) Oh! I felt euphoria --
euphoria. It was beautiful.
And then, again, my left hemisphere comes online and it says,
"Hey! You've got to pay attention.
We've got to get help." And I'm thinking, "I got to get help.
I gotta focus."
So I get out of the shower and I mechanically
dress and I'm walking around my apartment,
and I'm thinking, "I gotta get to work. I gotta get to work.
Can I drive? Can I drive?"
And in that moment my right arm went totally
paralyzed by my side. Then I realized,
"Oh my gosh! I'm having a stroke! I'm having a stroke!"
And the next thing my brain says to me is, "Wow!
This is so cool." (Laughter) "This is so cool!
How many brain scientists have the opportunity
to study their own brain from the inside out?"
And then it crosses my mind, "But I'm a very busy woman!"
(Laughter) "I don't have time for a stroke!"
So I'm like, "OK, I can't stop the stroke from happening,
so I'll do this for a week or two, and
then I'll get back to my routine. OK.
So I gotta call help. I gotta call work."
I couldn't remember the number at work,
so I remembered, in my office I had a business card
with my number on it. So I go into my business room,
I pull out a three-inch stack of business cards.
And I'm looking at the card on top and even though
I could see clearly in my mind's eye what my business card looked like,
I couldn't tell if this
was my card or not, because all I could see were pixels.
And the pixels of the words blended
with the pixels of the background and the pixels of the symbols,
and I just couldn't tell.
And then I would wait for what I call a wave of clarity.
And in that moment, I would be able to
reattach to normal reality and I could tell
that's not the card ... that's not the card ... that's not the card.
It took me 45 minutes to get one inch down
inside of that stack of cards.
In the meantime, for 45 minutes, the hemorrhage is
getting bigger in my left hemisphere.
I do not understand numbers, I do not understand the telephone,
but it's the only plan I have.
So I take the phone pad and I put it right here. I take the business card,
I put it right here, and
I'm matching the shape of the squiggles on the card
to the shape of the squiggles on the phone pad.
But then I would drift back out into La La Land,
and not remember when I came back if I'd already
dialed those numbers.
So I had to wield my paralyzed arm like a stump
and cover the numbers as I went along and pushed
them, so that as I would come back to normal
reality, I'd be able to tell, "Yes, I've already dialed that number."
Eventually, the whole number gets dialed
and I'm listening to the phone, and
my colleague picks up the phone and he says to me,
"Woo woo woo woo." (Laughter) And I think to myself,
"Oh my gosh, he sounds like a Golden Retriever!"
And so I say to him -- clear in my mind, I say to him:
"This is Jill! I need help!"
And what comes out of my voice is, "Woo woo woo woo woo."
I'm thinking, "Oh my gosh, I sound like a Golden Retriever."
So I couldn't know -- I didn't know that
I couldn't speak or understand language until I tried.
So he recognizes that I need help and he gets me help.
And a little while later, I am riding in an
ambulance from one hospital across Boston to [Massachusetts] General Hospital.
And I curl up into a little fetal ball.
And just like a balloon with the last bit of air,
just, just right out of the balloon,
I just felt my energy lift and just -- I felt my spirit surrender.
And in that moment, I knew that I
was no longer the choreographer of my life.
And either the doctors rescue my body and give me a
second chance at life, or this was perhaps
my moment of transition.
When I woke later that afternoon, I was shocked
to discover that I was still alive. When I felt my spirit surrender,
I said goodbye to my life.
And my mind was now suspended between two very
opposite planes of reality. Stimulation coming in
through my sensory systems felt like pure pain.
Light burned my brain like wildfire, and sounds
were so loud and chaotic that I could not pick a
voice out from the background noise,
and I just wanted to escape. Because I could not identify the
position of my body in space, I felt enormous and expansive,
like a genie just liberated from her bottle.
And my spirit soared free, like a great whale
gliding through the sea of silent euphoria.
Nirvana. I found Nirvana. And I remember thinking,
there's no way I would ever be able to squeeze
the enormousness of myself back inside this tiny little body.
But then I realized, "But I'm still alive! I'm still alive,
and I have found Nirvana. And if I have
found Nirvana and I'm still alive, then everyone
who is alive can find Nirvana." And I pictured a world
filled with beautiful, peaceful, compassionate,
loving people who knew that they could come to
this space at any time. And that they could
purposely choose to step to the right of their
left hemispheres and find this peace. And then
I realized what a tremendous gift this experience
could be, what a stroke of insight this could be
to how we live our lives. And it motivated me to recover.
Two and a half weeks after the hemorrhage, the
surgeons went in and they removed a blood clot
the size of a golf ball that was pushing on my language centers.
Here I am with my mama,
who is a true angel in my life. It took me eight years to completely recover.
So who are we? We are the life-force power of the universe,
with manual dexterity and two cognitive minds.
And we have the power to choose, moment by moment,
who and how we want to be in the world.
Right here, right now, I can step into the
consciousness of my right hemisphere, where we are.
I am the life-force power of the universe.
I am the life-force power of the 50 trillion beautiful
molecular geniuses that make up my form, at one with all that is.
Or, I can choose to step into the consciousness of
my left hemisphere, where I become a single individual,
a solid. Separate from the flow,
separate from you. I am Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor:
intellectual, neuroanatomist. These are the "we" inside of me.
Which would you choose? Which do you choose? And when?
I believe that the more time we spend
choosing to run the deep inner-peace circuitry
of our right hemispheres, the more peace we will
project into the world, and the more peaceful our planet will be.
And I thought that was an idea worth spreading.


【TED】吉兒泰勒-你腦內的兩個世界 (My stroke of insight | Jill Bolte Taylor)

19667 分類 收藏
VoiceTube 發佈於 2013 年 3 月 26 日
  1. 1. 單字查詢


  2. 2. 單句重複播放


  3. 3. 使用快速鍵


  4. 4. 關閉語言字幕


  5. 5. 內嵌播放器


  6. 6. 展開播放器


  1. 英文聽力測驗


  1. 點擊展開筆記本讓你看的更舒服

  1. UrbanDictionary 俚語字典整合查詢。一般字典查詢不到你滿意的解譯,不妨使用「俚語字典」,或許會讓你有滿意的答案喔