Tobehonest, I justwashedmyface, and I go, um, I hadthisthing, likegrowingupwhere I was, like, if I don't putonmakeuponmyface, myfaceisgonnahavetoworkhardertolookbetter.
Andso I'm, like, soweird.
So I thought I wasconditioningmyfacebynotputtingonmakeupgrowingup.
So I feellikeitworkedlikemyskin.
I feellike I havetoforcemyselftolookbetterbecause I don't knowwhereit's muchmakeup, but I thinkthatthat's probablynotreality.
Wealllookgreatmakeup, andhere I go, so I don't knowhowtodolike, crazycalmtouringare, youknow, theartisticstuff.
So I'm gonnacheatandusethismask.
TightenupmyfaceFeeling a littlepuffy?
I'm normallyverypuffybecause I'm anartistand I cry a lotWaroneinthecaronetimeReallyfreaksomepeopleout.
Oh, matchesmyroad I triedtoeatwhilehavingoneofthese, butitdoesn't quitework.
Sojustletthissitfor, like, 10 minutes, Youknow, like, check a phone, etcetera.
Sonowthat I havepreppedmyskin, I amgoingtodomylightlittlelikeOhmygosh, I needtolookawake.
I have a meetingin 10 minutes.
Look.
Okay.
Sofirstthingsfirstis I usethisMacandsailor.
I alwayshavebagsundermyeyes, sojustkindoflikewakesmeupofit.
I justdolike a littlebitofthatlikethat.
Sofunnystorygrowingup, I usedtobeinthislikegirlgroupthat I reallytalkabout, andtheyallknewhowtodotheirmakeup.
But I didn't knowhowtodomymakeup, anditwasreallysadbecausenobodyhelpedmedomymakeup.
Andsoeveryone's makeuplookedsogood.
And I gotothesemeetingsand I have, likeblueeyeShadowlikeuptothe I forsomereason, thoughtthateyeshadowgoesfromheretohere.
Sotheholeswasreallysad.
Butnowmybestfriend's a makeupartist.
Sotakethat.
Mymom's aniceskatingchoreographer, so I couldn't reallygetmakeupadvicefromherbecausethemakeupshedoesislikeshowmakeup, youknow, it's likemadetobeseenfromthousandsoffeetaway.
I didn't evenknowpeoplewaxtheireyebrowsuntil I was, like, 21 andand I'm waxedmyeyebrowsanditwaslike a newdayhadstarted.
It's goingonmyhandlikeso I thinkweallarescaredofbeingjudged.
Andsopeoplealwaysaskme, Werescaredtoereleasegirlslikegirlsorjust, I don't know.
Beyourself.
Yeah, likeallofusare.
I grewupliterallyterrifiedofbeingjudgedbecause I knewthat I wasdifferentandthattherewerecertaincategoriesofwhatgaylookslikeandjustwhatstereotypesareandthenegativeconnotationbehindit.
So I wasreallyscaredtoreleasemymusicandbehonest.
Andalso, I guess I justdidn't thinkaboutthefactthatallofusaregoingthroughsimilarstrugglesandthattheirothergaypeopleouttherewouldyouendupgrowingupandthinkinglike, Oh, I'm theonlyonewhowerejust, like, quiteselfish.