字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 (APPLAUSE) >> THANK YOU. HOW ARE Y'ALL DOING, GOOD? YES, MY NAME IS RAANAN HERSHBERG, IT IS A NAME THAT STARTS JEW AND JUST KEEPS ON GOING AM I'M A JEW FROM KENTUCKY WHH, YEAH, I DON'T RECOMMEND AT ALL AND I STARTED COMEDY THERE, AND IT WASN'T ALWAYS GREAT, IT WASN'T ALWAYS A PACKED THEATER. A LOT OF TIMES IT SUCKED. IT REALLY DID. ONE OF MY FIRST PAID GIGS THIS IS ACTUALLY TRUE, WAS AT A PRISON IN LA GRANG, KENTUCKY. YEAH, I PERFORMED FOR 200 INMATES AND THERE IS NOTHING THAT MAKES YOU FEEL WORSE AS A COMEDIAN THAN TO BE PERFORMING AND WATCHING A COUPLE OF INMATES WALK OUT (LAUGHTER) CUZ YOU KNOW THEY'RE JUST GOING BACK TO THEIR CELL, THIS' IT. THAT IS IT. THERE IS NOT ANOTHER ROOM WITH MIDNIGHT BOWLING. OR A MOVIE. THOSE INMATES HEARD MY JOKES AND THEY'RE LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT, I WOULD RATHER BE ALONE WITH A MIRDERRER RIGHT NOW. (LAUGHTER) I RECENTLY WENT BACK HOME VISITED MY TWIN SISTER. EVERY TIME I TELL PEOPLE I HAVE A TWIN SISTER HALF THE PEOPLE I TELL THAT TO GO OH, YOU GOT A TWIN SISTER. LET ME ASK YOU, IDENTICAL? OR FRATERNAL. A COUPLE LAUGHS OVER HERE. THE REST OF YOU ARE THE PEOPLE WHO ASK THAT QUESTION. (LAUGHTER) AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU, NOW I JUST PLAY ALONG. NOW I'M LIKE IDENTICAL. AND THEY'RE LIKE REALLY, HOW IS THAT. >> I'M LIKE IT'S OKAY FOR ME. (LAUGHTER) YEAH, YEAH. YEAH. (APPLAUSE) >> IT'S NOT GREAT FOR HER. KZ SHE'S A GIRL BUT SHE LOOKS LIKE AN ISRAELI JOHN BELUSHI. MY MOM KEEPS CHANGING THE NETFLIX PASSWORD SO I WILL CALL HER, ANYONE ELSE IN THAT SITUATION? MY MOM IS GREAT BUT SHE IS VERY SHRILL AND LOUD AND JEWISH AND IT'S TOO MUCH. IT IS. THE LAST TIME I WAS VITSING HER I COULD HEAR HER YELL FROM OUTSIDE ONE DAY. OH MY GOD! RANAD. COME OUTSIDE. ♪ THERE ARE FOUR DEER OUTSIDE! IS FOUR OF THEM! IT'S INCREDIBLE. RAANAN, COME OUTSIDE THERE ARE FOUR DEER! >> AND THEN I CAME OUTSIDE AND WOULD YOU BELIEVE, THEY WERE GONE. YEAH. (APPLAUSE) YEAH. YEAH. SOMETHING HAD START ELED THEM. (LAUGHTER) UNS WITH STILL THERE, HE HAD DIED OF A HEART ATTACK. IT WAS-- MY MOM IS GREAT. MY MOM HAS BEEN A THIRD GRADE TEACHER FOR THE LAST 50 YEARS. YEAH. (APPLAUSE) YEAH. AND AS A RESULT, SHE CAN ONLY TALK TO YOU LIKE YOU ARE ALSO EIGHT YEARS OLD. IT IS INGRAINED IN HER. SHE WILL BE LIKE YOUR COUSIN PHIL HAS BEEN HAVING AN AFFAIR FOR TWO YEARS, WHICH IS TERRIBLE, BECAUSE HE'S MARRIED. (LAUGHTER) AND WHEN YOU'RE MARRIED, IT'S VERY UPSETTING TO FIND OUT YOUR SPOUSE IS CHEATING ON YOU. IT IS. AND IT CAN MAKE HER FEEL REALLY SAD. YOU HAVE EVER FELT SAD BEFORE? YEAH, I'M FEELING SAD RIGHT NOW. CUZ I'M 35 AND YOU'RE TALKING TO ME LIKE I'M A CHILD. I AM NOT A CHILD. I AM A GROWN ADULT. NOW WHAT IS THE NEW NETFLIX PASSWORD. (APPLAUSE) THANK YOU. WHENEVER I TELL PEOPLE I'M A JEW FROM KENTUCKY THEY ALWAYS ASK THE SAME THING, THEY GO DID YOU GROW UP WITH PRESIDENT, YES, PREJUDICE, YES, I DID, MOSTLY FROM MY GRANDMA BO WAS PRETTY RACIST, AND WHENEVER SAID SOMETHING RACIST MY MOM WOULD DE FEND IT, ALWAYS SAYING THE SAME THING. WELL, HE'S FROM A DIFFERENT TIME. HE'S FROM A DIFFERENT TIME. AND I WOULD BE LIKE YEAH, BUT THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH THAT IS HE IS NOT. (LAUGHTER) YEAH. HE'S FROM RIGHT NOW. HE WAS FROM A DIFFERENT TIME AND THEN TIME MOVED FORWARD, AND HE'S STILL IN TIME. (APPLAUSE) HE'S STILL IN IT. YEAH. THAT IS HOW TIME WORKS. IF YOU ARE ALIVE RIGHT NOW, YOU ARE IN IT. OLD PEOPLE ONLY HAVE TROUBLE ADJUSTING TO PREJUDICE, THEY DON'T HAVE TROUBLE ADJUSTING TO OTHER CHANGES AND STAY LITTLE HINT CRITICAL. AN OLD PERSON WILL BE LIKE I DONE THINK BLACK AND WHITE PEOPLE SHOULD DATE OR TBAI PEOPLE SHOULD GET MARRIED BECAUSE THAT IS NOT HOW I WAS RAISED. THAT'S NOT HOW I WAS RAISED. AND THAT'S FINE. YOU CAN SAY THAT. BUT THEN I DON'T EVER SEE YOU RIDING AN ESCALATOR. (LAUGHTER) YEAH, YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. CUZ YOU WERE YOU WEREN'T RAISED WITH THAT EITHER. EVERY TIME YOU SEE AN ESCALATOR, YOU SHOULD BE LIKE WHO PUT THIS ROLLER COASTER IN THE MALL AND RUN AWAY. THANK YOU, THAT IS MY TIME. I'M RAANAN HERSHBERG. >> James: THAT WAS SO GOOD, LADIES AND GENERAL, RAANAN HERSCHBERG, COME ON BACK, EVERYTHING. >> THAT WAS GREAT.
A2 初級 Raanan Hershberg Stand-Up (Raanan Hershberg Stand-Up) 2 0 林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日 更多分享 分享 收藏 回報 影片單字